So I had been working on this since I got back from Pakistan and it took a while because I tried to balance it with Love Story, and well it didn't work out well. I had no intention of releasing it until after I finished Love Story, but because of recent show-verse events, I had to finish immediately and have it up before the new episode tonight! Its just a little one-shot I thought up when I was bored and wishing something like it would happen to me. Enjoy it guys! -Tak
P.S. I am going to update Love Story as soon as I finish the WHOLE thing! Sorry guys!
Jo Taylor sat in the corner table of the cute little coffee shop by her new apartment in uptown L.A. She had been coming to the Blue Stars Café since the first day she discovered it after a month of moving. It was one of her favorite places to go when she was free or sick of her apartment. Even though Jo had chosen to leave the Palm Woods herself, she hated her new place. It was posh, mature, and over all boring. She missed the lively hood and excitement that came with the Palm Woods, but most of all she missed her friends.
It was a few weeks since Jo's arrival back from her filming in New Zealand, when she had decided to move out. She was beginning to feel out of place at her old apartment due to the fact she wasn't the 'future famous' anymore, but rather the current famous. At least that was what she told everyone when they asked why she left. The real reason was Lucy Stone, the rocker, new girl that arrived after Jo left.
Lucy had come in to the lives of all of Jo's friends. Lucy basically replaced Jo in all their lives, at least that's how Jo saw it; Lucy had become best friend's with Camille, Jo's best friend, she had stolen all the hearts of the Palm Woods' male residents, just like Jo, she had the boys of Big Time Rush fighting over her just as Jo had, and worst of all, she had captivated the attention and heart of Kendall Knight, Jo's first real love. In the end the only thing that made Jo feel replaced was that Kendall had chosen Lucy over her.
She couldn't believe that all her friends could have forgotten her so easily. She tried not to let that bother her though. She came back and tried to get back to her usual life, but it became unbearable for her to see Kendall with Lucy. She had nothing against Lucy, she even tried to befriend her, but its hard to be friends with someone that you feel replaced by, therefore leading Jo to decide to move out, so she wouldn't feel replaced and wouldn't have to cause conflict.
But now there was the problem of loneliness in her new home. The building housed about 80 residents, most of them over 40. Jo had not made any new friends either because there was a lack of friendly people her age, though she had become acquainted with the elderly man next door and the gay couple across from her place, but they weren't the same.
So now, instead of being cooped up in her apartment lonely and feeling sorry for herself all the time, she sits at the café, where she can run from her problems and just feel normal and not out of place or alone. Every once in a while, when not working on her old job at New Town High, she'd call up Camille and hang out with her so she could still stay in touch with her old friends, but recently she's been unable to see her or anyone else. She had to keep reminding herself that she chose this.
Jo sighed as she flipped the page of the sappy romance novel she was just reading. She didn't know why she tortured herself like this. All romance novels did were remind her of him; Him, who she loved but had to leave, him who promised she'd have his heart and they'd pick up right where they left off but then chose to be with Lucy in the end.
"Stop thinking about it Josephine, you're only making it worse for yourself." She reprimanded herself under her breath. Kendall Knight had been running through her mind a lot more the past few days and she had no idea why. She would wake up from sleep only to remember a vivid dream of the two of them making out or on a date. She hated it because it only furthered her pain and loneliness. She put her book down, frustrated that her mind kept bringing up Kendall.
The bells on the café's door rang, announcing a new arrival. Jo looked up curiously to see who it was; and there he stood, Kendall Donald Knight, in his signature green flannel shirt, skinny jeans, matching vans, and his favorite grey beanie. Jo's eyes widened in surprise as her lips began to curl up in a small smile. She was unwillingly glad to see him again, but she was also wondering how and why he was at the almost unknown café that she was at?
He walked up to the counter and ordered a cup of coffee and then sat down in a boot the other side of the café, facing her, to wait. He looked as though he were alone, but Jo waited and watched behind her book, just to make sure Kendall's coffee arrived and he thanked the waitress with a smile. Jo noticed there was something off about his smile. It lacked its usual shine and light. His oh-so-cute dimples were barely noticeable. As she examined Kendall more closely, she realized he had bags under his eyes and looked melancholy.
"I wonder if everything's okay." She thought to herself. She observed him drink his coffee and stare out the window, avoiding the other café goers. She could tell something was wrong by his look. She tried to pluck the courage and drop her pride to get up to him and see if he was all right. She bit her lip nervously, but eventually got up. She took a final sip of her latte for an extra boost and headed to his booth. She hovered over him before finally saying 'hi' in small, sweet voice.
"Jo." He said, jumping up out of his seat, equally surprised as Jo had been.
"Hi." She said again, more confident, but still shy. She gave him an apologetic grin for surprising him the way she did.
"Hi." He said back, with an inviting smile. "Um… do you want to sit down?" He asked. She sat down across from him. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since the day before you moved."
"Yeah sorry about that, been really busy you know." She lied. "I should be asking you what you're doing here because this is my usual hangout spot since moving."
Kendall chuckled; glad to hear her usual sense of wit. "I was driving by when I saw it, and I don't know why but something about it pulled me in. I had no idea you were here." He answered honestly.
"Well it's not like I though you were stalking me or anything." She joked, earning her a smirk from the dirty blond boy, and that's where she saw his usual spark and shine. Dimples and all. "So how have you been?"
"I've been…" He contemplated telling her the truth or not. He looked at how happy she seemed and decided to lie. "I've been pretty good."
"Oh." She sounded more disappointed than she wanted. "Well that's fantastic! I've been amazing myself." Another lie followed by a cheerful smile. He smiled back at her, both concealing their sorrow in their grins.
When they became strangers to one another, neither knew, but Kendall did know that he hated lying to her. He wanted to tell her everything about how since she had left, he felt lost and lonely, how getting with Lucy was supposed to fill the void she left, how even though he chose Lucy, he could never replace her, and how that ever since she returned the only thing on his mind has been how he hurt her. But he couldn't tell her. She was happy now, or so it seemed.
"So how's life back at the Palm Woods?" Jo asked. "How is everyone there? The guys? Your mom and Katie?"
"They've all been good. Logan's been pretty happy since Camille and him are in a solid relationship now. James still not satisfied with not being a model yet. Carlos still wants a girlfriend. Mom's been watching out for us as usual and Katie's trying to take over the world, one company at a time." He told her.
"Sounds like the usual." She laughed. "How are Grumpy Gustavo and Kelly?"
"They are well. Gustavo's still grumpy as ever and Kelly's still trying to keep him calm." Kendall answered.
"I really miss everyone a lot." She said, feeling the loneliness return.
"Well everyone missed you too." Kendall stated. "Especially me," he wanted to say.
"Tell them 'hi' for me?" She requested.
"Of course." He smiled again. There was a layer of silence upon them.
"So…" Jo trailed. The question she was anxious to ask was burning in the back of her mind until curiosity got the best of her. "How's Lucy?"
Kendall's smile faltered. He knew it was coming, but had hoped she wouldn't ask. The truth about Lucy was that she was fine, except the fact that she broke up with him and hated his guts now all because he wouldn't love her back the way she wanted. It wasn't the matter that he wouldn't it was that he couldn't because even though he thought he like Lucy a lot, he was still in love with Jo. And though he didn't love Lucy, he had still liked her a lot, thus leaving him hurt when she ended it.
"Kendall, is everything okay?" Jo asked, noticing Kendall's face go white and his eyes fill with shiny tears. "Maybe I shouldn't have asked."
He cleared his throat to prevent himself from sounding like he was going to cry. "No, no it's okay. Um… she's uh fine. We um broke up" He could barely get the words out.
"I'm so sorry to hear." Jo said. She felt really bad about asking him. "So I'm guessing you're not okay."
"I'm sorry I lied to you. I didn't want to ruin your mood." He told her, avoiding her eyes.
"Don't be, because I lied to you too." She said shamefully. "I haven't been fine in over a year, since before I left."
"Why haven't you been fine?" Kendall asked, forgetting his own problems.
"Well for starters, my new life sucks. I never get to see any of my friends. I have no new friends. My apartment is so boring and all my neighbors are mean. I haven't had any fun since I got back. And over all, I've been so alone." She said, dismayed.
"I'm sorry." He told her. "Its all my fault."
"No it isn't Kendall. You did what your heart told you to." She said.
"But that's not what my heart wanted." He went on. "Well it did. Sorta, but not really."
"You do know that makes no sense right?" Jo asked.
"I mean, I did like Lucy and did want to be with her, but that was before I knew I'd see you again." He explained. "My heart never stopped wanting you Jo. It just started to look for someone else to help fill the huge hole that was left in it."
"Why'd you pick Lucy then?" She asked, sounding bitter.
"I don't know. It just felt like the right thing to do since I had already asked her out." He told. "But I know now that it wasn't because I could never love her the way I love you."
"You love me?" Jo asked sounding surprised.
"Yes. I've always loved you. And I regret never telling you before you left." He said.
"I love you too." She told him. "I was going to tell you before leaving, but I didn't want to leave knowing whether you didn't love me back."
They both looked into each other's eyes apologetically. "Look at us. We've become strangers in such a short time." Kendall spoke.
"Why did we ever let everything get between us?" Jo asked rhetorically.
"Because we didn't know we'd ever become this distant." He answered.
"I wish we could got back to before any of this happened, to the time when we would just lay in each other's arms, watching the sky pass us by." Jo said.
"Me too." He agreed. He looked up at her, with sad eyes. She returned the look.
"A few days ago, someone asked me where I go when I'm lonely, and I never had a real answer, but when I thought about it, all I'd see was me with you, and I never really got why, but I do now." Jo told him. "Do you wanna go somewhere where we can both be lonely?"
Kendall smiled at her and answered, "I thought you'd never ask." He got up and offered her his hand. She took it and they made their way out of the Blue Stars Café and back to Jo's apartment, where they both could be consumed with loneliness, together.