Author's note: First time at one-shots. And it also had been awhile since I last watched Code Geass. Plz review! I live on it. Plz just spare two minutes of your day to brighten up my life. And go easy on me, English is not my first language. So here goes, my first attempt at SuzaLulu.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CODE GEASS! Though I would love to have at least Suzaku or Lulu…

…../

Can I kill someone? Sure, I can. I have done that several times, I have seen people die in front of my eyes; I have seen my loved one die in front of me. I have killed my own father before, but can I…kill Lelouch? The chestnut brown hair danced gently in the breeze. Suzaku looked over the beautiful palace garden. He could imagine Euphie playing among the flowers; imagine himself sitting beside Euphie, watching her alluring figure, loving her. But it was no longer possible, she was killed by Zero. Robbed of the happiness she deserved. The moment of her death was still so vivid in his mind, replaying over and over again, and yet why, why could Suzaku not even think of killing Lelouch? Lelouch asked him to, it was a perfect chance for Euphie's revenge. Was it because Suzaku knew vengeance would only bring more hatred to the world? No, killing Lelouch would delight the world. Emperor Lelouch, the 99th emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire, had done many evil deeds in a citizen's point of view. He started wars and mass murdered lives; he had done enough evil to make the Devil himself lower his head in shame. And yet, why could Suzaku not kill Lelouch?

Because I loved him? That should not matter, Lelouch does not love me, he showed no signs, he should be clever enough to notice my love no matter how dumb he is at those things. He only views me as a friend, as his sword. Besides, it can't be LOVE. I just want to be with him, to laugh together with him, to spend eternity with him…why did he have to ruin everything? Why did he plan Zero Requiem? I wanted him more than clearing Euphie's name, but I did not want to admit that. He might reject me. Confessions might break our friendship .But it is too late to change anything now. The date had been decided. I have to repent for my sins. I'll be Zero from that day on. I'll be Lelouch.

/./././././.

Am I too hard on Suzaku? He loves me, I knew that. That is also why I refuse to be killed by anyone else. The young Emperor sat in his chamber, with the curtains shut, the room was dark. Lelouch had always preferred darkness to light. Lelouch felt more comfortable in the dark, he felt more secure that way, under Zero's mask and façade. Light exposes everything, even your innermost feelings and thoughts. Light casts shadows, because light exists, evil also resides. As long as some people claim to be justice, others would be involuntarily branded as evil. That is how the world works. And no, Lelouch did not regret leaving such a world, but he did want to spend more time with Suzaku. To be able to laugh together with him, to spend eternity with him…to tell him 'I love you too.' He would miss kissing Suzaku gently when he slept; he would miss stroking Suzaku's back to comfort him when he was upset; he would miss Suzaku altogether. But he would never tell Suzaku that, he would not make things harder for Suzaku than it is already. Suzaku was always weak mentally, and Lelouch had always been aware of that. Like when that self-claimed lover of C2 announced Suzaku's deepest fears, Lelouch felt like killing him the thousand times and over.

Lelouch let out a sigh. He was not afraid of death, but he was afraid of leaving Suzaku. That boy had always brightened his day, had always been by his side, he had always been the reason Lelouch lived for this long in midst of war and hatred.

Killed by Suzaku, that was not a bad idea. It was plain selfishness on his part. He could have let C2 do it, no, he chose Suzaku. He wanted his lover to end the hatred cycle that tormented them both. Lelouch smiled, he knew Suzaku would be cursing and loving him at the same time in the room next door, but rather than worrying, he found the thought amusing. Evil was a part of his nature after all.

/./././././.

The pain was agonising, this was his repent to the world, and to Suzaku, for putting Suzaku through so many hardships, for not being able to be with Suzaku. What is worse than to be killed by a person you loved ever since childhood? Suzaku was the first person to show insolence to him, Suzaku was the first one to openly despise him for being a Britannian, a prince at that. He liked and envied that brutal honesty of his. Geass is a wish, if that was true, he would have been able to live together with Suzaku happily. But he thanked the Geass, with it, he was able to meet Suzaku again, and he was able to realise his love for Suzaku. Their love for each other.

Lelouch, at the moment of his death, defied his better warnings, instead of saying goodbye, could not help himself but to whisper to Suzaku, 'I love you too, Suzaku.'

That was his farewell to Suzaku.

/./././././.

That sentence had tormented Suzaku while at the same time provided comfort. Love is a mysterious thing. Suzaku had thought he knew a lot about his best friend, no, Lelouch's diary proved him wrong. That damn long diary had given him a reason to live, and he still has a lot to learn about Lelouch.

For example, who knew that Lelouch was the romantic type? Suzaku always imagined him as possessive. And also who knew Lelouch once had such a pure mind?

Suzaku loved reading the diary over and over again. No, he did not finish it yet, he read and reread the first entry until it was perfectly memorised. And also the second, third, so on. He did not want to finish the diary too soon. Besides, he needed time to muse at the entries, and at how childishly mature Lelouch was when he was younger.

/./././././

'Suzaku, if we ever get another chance at life again, I hope the goddess of fortune would shine upon us, let us be undisturbed of our surroundings, undisturbed of the world, and let us fall in love all over again.'

…/

Author's note: thanx for reading, I appreciate any comments. "All hail Emperor LELOUCH!" "Yes, my majesty." :P