…
Popping the cap from his beer, Chuck took a deep swig. It slid down his throat and he smiled slightly at the sensation.
One swig for Serena and her god-damn pedestal. She'd been his partner in crime once; it'd been them two, the two best-friends of the royal fucking couple. But now she was all reformed. He kept watching, waiting for her to fall. He thought she'd fallen the first time he found her sculling down drinks and ordered that stupid truffle oil sandwich. But no, she was stronger than that, he should've known, after all she was the strong one out of them. He just wanted her back on his level. He just wanted her back beside him. He hated the stupid pedestal she'd put herself on, all the pedestals everyone else placed her on. Chuck hated it.
One swig for Nathaniel and his cowardly ways. The problem with Nathanial was he was too weak. He could never just break away, his life was dictated by Blair, or his father, or his mother. He'd never stuck by a decision that went against everyone else's rules, he always ran back to someone safe. Nathanial always did the right thing and Chuck hated him for that. Because even with his spineless tendencies everyone Chuck care about loves Nathanial more. Chuck hated it.
One swig for Blair and her bitchy nature. She said she loved Nate, she said she loved Serena, she said she loved her father, and even Roman. But the truth was that Blair could never love anyone but herself. In her world she was most important, others mattered but only because they helped her in some way. Serena got her attention, Nate got her social standing and security, her father got her money, Roman got her a place to run to. She used people and eventually left them with nothing but memories and her shadow. Chuck hated it.
One swig for Bart and his disappointed eyes. Bart found it almost impossible to show pride in his son, Chuck knew why, his father had admitted it one night when Chuck came home stoned and Bart had been drinking. Bart couldn't look at his son without seeing himself or Misty, and he didn't want his son to be like them. Nothing was ever good enough for Bart Bass, especially not his son who'd come home with that chequered scarf and tried on Barts hat, repeating "I want to be just like you, Dad." Bart's eyes were only ever a mix of smug, indifferent, angry or disappointed. Chuck hated it.
One swig for Eric and his lonely heart. Eric knew; he knew that Chuck was actually a human being and that was reason enough to drink. Eric was lonely and Chuck felt bad for the guy so he hung out with him, and helped him. But through Eric he was learning things about Serena he'd never known, and rehearing things from a different Van Der Woodsen's mouth. Eric made Chuck remember he wasn't the only one with a fucked up family and troubled past. Chuck hated it.
One swig for Carter and his ability to replace Chuck. Carter had the ability to make Nathaniel stray from the rules, the gift to make Serena smile. He was strong enough to turn his back on a trust fund to instead travel the world, helping people. He made Chuck see that not everyone wanted the money and trust fund and expensive functions. He was the better, reformed version of Chuck, with the skills to make Serena smile and Nathaniel stray. Chuck hated it.
One swig for Lilly and her too broken heart. Lilly was a miracle, she was the first person since he was four years old who had treated him anything like their son. She looked out for him, and treated him as best she knew how. She tried with Bart also, tried to love him. Chuck saw that, he knew that she slightly loved the old Bass. But her heart would always lie in the calloused hands of a washed up rock star. Her heart had been broken too many times that she was afraid to let Bart close, so she just ran back to Brooklyn Senior because he was comfort and he'd always loved her, leaving Bart to watch painfully and her to return confused. Chuck hated it.
One swig for Georgina and her penchant for bad timing. Georgina was the devil, he was pretty sure about that. She was psychotic and cruel and heartless and she'd managed to break Serena. He wanted the bitch dead. She was like a typhoon – sweeping in without warning and bringing everything crashing down, then leaving with a trail of destruction and pain behind her. Chuck hated it.
He would drink until he forgot; until he forgot it all. Because Chuck hated that everything was so god-damn painful, and he hated that the only way to numb the pain was drugs and alcohol and girls. So he drunk, because he was Chuck Bass and he wasn't supposed to feel any of what he did.