Willingly walking into a wall.
The title is taken from the 31 Days theme for March 27, 2008.
Kyouya knew that it wasn't going to work out. The traditional understanding of friendship did not factor in lust and sexual desire, and he was, if for nothing else, a connoisseur of tradition. There was also that not-too-small matter of that girl, the one turning the whole host club on its head, the one who had quietly snuck into a small but distinct corner of their hearts and lodged herself in deep without even trying. Something, however, had made him try anyway. It might have been the thought of those lips, or the remembrance of that particular way Tamaki looked in lamplight and against dark sheets. He tried not too think about it too much, and contented himself with tracing out the kanji of his queries on the blond boy's skin in bed.
When the ending came, he believed himself prepared, and prided himself for not flinching, not betraying anything. He heard the words, perceived the farewell between their spaces, and he still managed to smile his crooked smile and quip when Tamaki was finished. He was his father's son, an Ootori through and through. There was no such thing as a hopeless situation: there was always something to be gained, as only an Ootori would know.
Beyond the wedding, Kyouya never went to any of the functions that Tamaki and Haruhi invited him to over the years. He told himself that he didn't have the time.