It wasn't a secret that America thought a US road map and world atlas were one and the same. England should have been the country least surprised by this because he was, after all, the one who tried teaching the boy geography in the first place.
It had not gone well back then, and it didn't get better as America grew older.
"Alfred! Stop staring out the window! Have you been paying any attention whatsoever?"
When Alfred turned his head to glance towards Arthur, he was hardly excited by what he saw. Arthur's left eyebrow seemed to be engaged in river dance and his fists were firmly planted on his hips, sure signs that someone nearby was going to get it.
Unfortunately, Alfred was the only other person in the room.
"Oh…uh…of course I've been paying attention, Arthur!" Alfred replied, displaying his best imitation of an innocent smile.
"Really? Then would you mind repeating to me what the lesson was about?"
Alfred swallowed. This was one of those tricky question-but-not-really-a-question questions, similar to 'would you like to make your bed?'
"Well… first there was this mess of potatoes—"
"Do you mean Mesopotamia?"
"Yeah! Then there was this egg ship place where the fair rowers ruled!"
"Alfred, do you mean Egypt?"
"That's the one!" Alfred said, bestowing upon Arthur a bright, toothy grin.
Exasperated, Arthur resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands, taking comfort in the fact that this was at least ancient history. Alfred didn't really need to know about the Middle East – probably – so long as he had a fairly good grip on what Europe was like.
"Hey, England?"
"What, America?"
"Is Britain next to Atlantis, or is it Narnia? Wait! Is Britain actually an island like France? Or is it a peninsula like Germany?"
When his forehead made impact with his desk, Arthur barely felt it.