A/N: Hey everyone! So, I haven't written any fanfiction in a while because of college and life and stuff getting in the way. But here I am. I'm back and with a new fandom ;) Urm...I don't know how I feel about this. I feel as though some bits seem a bit rushed and such, but I figured I liked it for my first time back anyway. So here it is! Have fun...maybe :P All mistakes etc. are mine. It's not beta'd. However, I am british, so any mistakes are very silly and make me feel bad :P
Disclaimers: I own nothing. I am but a poor student who has no job. At least, not until summer anyway!
A pounding at her door alerted Jane to a new presence at her apartment. Slowly, she stood and turned to the direction of her room, hoping her covers could provide a comfort and blockage from the noise. As the knocking started again, she groaned, speeding up her walk to get to the room.
"Janie! Come on...open up. I know you're in there!" It was Frankie. "Please, Jane. Just...just let me in. I need to talk to you." There was no reply. "Why...why are you even here?"
That did it. Jane rushed to the door, opening it with a frown upon her face.
"My best friend just died. What else am I gonna be doing? Drinking with the lads?" She scoffed, "Go away Frankie. I wanna be alone."
"Maura...Maura ain't dead Jane."
"Yeh, she is...I was there Frankie. I heard the Doctor. Maura...Maura's gone. I never got to tell her how I feel and now...now I'm all alone Frankie. So please...go away". The tears came back full force now, to the point that Frankies figure became blurry.
"Oh, Jane...I never, I never knew."
"Well you do now...now that it means nothin'. Frankie, I just...I want Maura. I want her back. How...how am I s-supposed to live without...her?" She sobbed, falling to the floor as her knees gave out below her. Frankie quickly held her and lowered with her, offering her the comfort of someone close. She buried her head into her shoulder, still crying for the loss of her friend and love of her life.
"Shhh, Jane...it's, it's alright. Maura...she ain't...she din't die Jane. Maura's alive. Did you not listen to the Doc? She's alive."
"No Frankie. She's dead. She died...on the table...and it's all my fault."
"None of this is your fault. Tell me what you remember. What happened? What did the Doc say?"
She moved away, looking at his deep brown eyes, like her own, confused. Why is he making me relive this? It's too soon. She didn't understand but did as he said.
Sniffling, she began her account of the day. "We...we were called in early. There was a...a body. Suspected to be killed by Paddy Doyle's gang."
They'd had a typical film night at Maura's, so were together when the call came in. When she heard her biological fathers name mentioned, Maura turned her stunned face to Jane, who was already reaching across and starting to stroke her arm in an attempt to sooth her, giving her an apologetic smile.
"We'll be right there. Yeah. Sure...have us coffee waiting will ya Frost? Thanks."
Hanging up the phone, Jane turned to fully face her friend. "It'll be alright Maur. I won't let him get to you, none of us will."
Taking in a deep breath, the blonde nodded, knowing the truth behind Janes word. Silently, they washed, dressed and ate before leaving the MEs house.
-x-
"What've ya got for me Frost?" The tall, beautiful Detective asked upon entering the crime scene.
"Andrew Roberts. 24. Thought to have been a member of a rival gang to Paddys since his late teens, taking over for his father who died after being shot by Paddy himself when Andrew was 15. Lived down the street from Mrs Rizzoli, actually. Before, everything. Ya know 'im?"
"I know of him. He moved there when I was in the academy. Don't know where from though. We'll go have a chat with his mother later. And no speak of this to Ma, alright? It'll be all over Boston by lunch." She warned everyone in the immediate area, using her signature Rizzoli glare to warn newbie's not to mess with her.
"Yeah we know, Jane. We'll steer clear. Oh, ya coffees in the unmarked by the way. Just the way you like it."
"Thanks Frost." She turned, grabbing Mauras arm, who had walked in a few steps behind her.
"Thank you Detective Frost." She called whilst being pulled away, the mentioned Detective watching after them with a knowing eye, laughing, before turning back to survey the scene further."Jane...Jane, stop. I have to survey the body. Could you collect the drinks yourself and then bring them over? I really would like to start working on the body now, so as to give myself the opportunity to return home and properly prepare myself for work and autospy. I do not want to be unprepared or feel uncomfortable when I open this poor boys body."
"Maur, seriously? Just, drink with me. Help me wake up before I have to think about this cr...stuff. Please?" She gave a flirty smile, hoping it wasn't too much.
She, Maura, took a look around. It is early, and I would like some coffee before I begin. With a sigh, she conceeded. "Oh, alright Jane. But only quick. I don't want to be here all day."
With a quick grin at the shorter woman, she turned around and walked to the car, trusting Maura to follow her. After taking the cardboard cups from their holder, she pulled the lid off one, determining it to be Mauras and passed it across to her. "One skinny latte madam," she winked.
Maura laughed, grinning widely. "Why thank you, sweet maiden".
She's so beautiful when she laughs, Jane thought, her expression taking on a wistful look.
She sat staring at the younger woman, who was taking slow, occasional sips of her coffee and telling Jane the effects of caffeine intake early in the day on the body. It was safe to say, Jane wasn't paying attention to the words, but rather the way in which they were spoken. Maura spoke about these things with such interest that Jane couldn't bare to tell her that none of it made sense, or mattered to her. But the blonde meant more than enough to make up for it.
Suddenly Jane noticed a figure walking towards them. Thinking it was curious, she drifted away from Maura, watching the lone figure curiously. The Medical Examiner noticed this change, so began to turn, wanting to know what had distracted the normally focused Detective. Before she had chance to turn fully however, the stranger noticed they had been spotted. Picking up their pace, they began to run towards the couple at the car, reaching behind their back. Jane, having become Detective Rizzoli, recognised the situation and jumped down from the hood of the car, where she'd just perched herself. Reaching for her gun at the same time as the figure reached back.
By now, Maura had finished the turning and the figure had an object in their hand. Detecting the situation, Maura sensed what would happen and, being selfless, ran in front of Jane as the figure got close.
"No! Maura!" Jane cried, tears already forming in her eyes as she tried to push past her friend. Maura, however, was too strong, using every ounce of strength she could muster in order to the keep the Detective where she was.
The figure was now close enough for Maura to hear him call. The words, combined with the sight of the gun in his hand, sent shivers down her spine.
"Patrick Doyle WILL pay for this."
*Bang*
"See! It's all my fault...If I just...if I hadn't made h-her have her coffee with me, or if I'd just made her move...then...then she'd be fine. She'd be here...LIVING. But now...now she's dead." Jane sobbed.
"No. Jane...you did everything you could. Maura, she was saving your life. Jane, she loves you. Enough to sacrifice herself."
Did she really do that for me? Maur...she...she loved me? Jane gasped. Yes. Maura...Maura loved me.
"Maura loved me." She whispered, before the tears came more fully. "Maura loved me and I never told her I loved her. I...I lost everything. I could have had it all...and I didn't."
"Jane. Jane, no. You haven't lost anything. You could still have it. Just...get your butt up." Frankie insisted.
"Why Frankie? There's nothing left. I want it, I want it so badly…but only with Maura. Maura is it for me. But she's gone. I can't get it back!"
"Jane, relax, okay? Just breath, what happened after that?"
"I…I shot the guy. I shot that son of a bitch through the head. Then I held her. I held her as the blood came pouring out of her chest and there was nothing I could do. So I held her as tight as I could and told her everything would be okay. Because she was Maura. She'd get through it. I was so sure she would"
"She did Jane. She did, for you"
"No, Frankie! Stop. She didn't." She shouted, pushing herself away from him and standing up, furiously wiping the tears from her face. "She's gone. Why can't you just accept it and leave my in peace? I don't deserve to have anyone if I let the woman I love die in my arms. I deserve to die with her. I want to!"
Frankie followed, standing up and walking towards the couch that Jane was now stood next to. "That's bullshit, Jane. You didn't let her die. You don't deserve to die either. Sit down and stop this self pitying. Tell me the rest."
Breathing heavily, Jane watched her brother. She knew he wouldn't let her stop the recount there, so sat down and carried on.
"She was still alive when the ambulance came. I made them let me go with them. At the hospital, they took her away. Made me wait in the waiting room and refused to tell me how she was…"
"Really? You're not going to tell me. She's my best fucking friend." She hollered at the nurse sat behind the counter.
"I'm sorry ma'am. But unless you are a family member, or a family member can vouch for you, we are not allowed to tell you anything. I wish I could, I really do." She replied, sympathetically.
"You wish you could is not good enough. Do you even know who I am? I am Detective Jane Rizzoli. That is Doctor Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner who is in that surgery room so you damn well will tell me what is going on!"
"Ma'am…"
"It's Detective!"
"Detective, that doesn't change anything. I'm sorry. Now please, sit down and calm down or I will have security remove you."
"That's okay. I'll deal with her, I'm her brother." A male voice called from behind Jane, interrupting her staring contest with the nurse.
"Frankie!" Jane sighed in relief, hugging him tightly. "Maura, she…she was shot. She's in surgery and these god damn nurses won't tell me how she is and Constance won't be here for at least another 20 minutes and what if something happens before then and I don't know because I'm not her fucking family? I'm more family than they ever were, I have more of a right than they do!"
"I know, Janie. I know. But nothing will happen. Come on, sit down. We'll just have to wait for Constance."
-x-
Constance arrived not long after that and immediately gave the nurses permission to share anything and everything with Jane. About 2 hours after arrived, a Doctor, who Jane recognized as Maura's entered the room.
"How is she? Is she okay? Is she awake? Can I see her?" Jane asked, running towards the Doctor before anyone else even realized she was there.
"Detective Rizzoli, stop. Let me speak." She replied calmly, waiting for the others to join.
"Hello. I am Mrs Constance Isles, Maura's mother. Is everything okay?"
"Mrs Isles, I'm Doctor Harrison." She shook the hand offered to her, before answering both Constance and Janes questions. "It was long and painful for Maura. The first hour was the worst. She crashed a few times, but we managed to bring her back quickly enough that we do not believe any damage was caused to her system. The bullet tore through both her lungs grazing the heart. We managed to repair them both. However, whilst working on her heart, she…I'm afraid to say she died, on the table"
Jane backed away. Maura died? What? No…this has to be a mistake. No…Maura, she can't. She can't be dead. I…I need her. I love her. What do I do now? Tears formed in her eyes and her breathing became erratic. She grasped for something behind her, anything to hold her up, before she collapsed into a waiting room chair and placed her head between her legs as she began to feel her lungs closing. She was hyperventilating.
"Jane? Jane are you okay? Breath for me Jane." It was Doctor Harrison.
"Get off me. Leave…leave me alone." She stood, barely noticing that everyone was huddled around her, trying to make sure she was okay, before running out of the hospital to her car to began her search for somewhere to hide.
"I realized this was the only place I could go."
"Oh Jane. Do you not realize? You just didn't hear everything the Doctor said. Maura, she only died for a few minutes. Then she…she just came back. It was like, she found a reason to live and did. Jane, the Doctor told us she was alive. You have to believe me Jane."
"What? She's alive?" She asked disbelievingly. Frankie nodded frantically. "Oh my god, she's alive and I left her there. I thought she was dead…oh my god, Frankie! I have a chance. This is it." She grinned through her tears. She leapt at her brother, hugging him fiercely. "Thank you Frankie. I…I have to go."
"Do you want me to drive you?"
"Uh…yeh. Please. I…I don't really trust myself right now and I don't want to see her again by being in the bed next to her."
Frankie laughed at his sisters attempt to break the tension. "Alright, lets go. Come on."
-x-
Rushing through the doors, Jane asked the nurse from earlier what room her blonde haired ME was in, running away before the nurse even finished talking to her. Coming up to the door she was informed Maura would be behind, she stopped. She wiped away any remnants of the tears she shed earlier and straightened her clothing, knowing Maura would appreciate her putting in the effort, even at a time like this. After a final deep breathe, she entered the room.
Constance, who had been sat in the chair next to her daughter's bed, turned to face the door as she heard it opening, her jaw dropping un-Constance like at the woman's appearance.
"Jane, dear. What happened? Where did you go?" She asked, standing to give the lanky brunette a hug, as she felt would be socially acceptable in this situation.
"I…I thought she was dead. I didn't realize…"
"Oh, Jane. She is very alive. We're just waiting for her to wake up." She laughed lightly. "Now that you're here, I'm going to go find some fresh water. Would you like anything?"
"Uh. No…no thanks, I'm alright." Jane hadn't taken her eyes off the woman in the bed since she stepped through the door. Constance nodded, and exited the room, giving Jane time alone. Jane walked over to the edge of the bed and slowly took Maura's hand into her own.
"Oh god, Maur…I'm so sorry. How…how could I be so stupid? Of course you wouldn't die; you would never leave me, not like this."
"Never."
Shocked, Jane looked down at where the hoarse, scratchy word had come from. There were bright amber eyes looking back at her conveying so much emotion, she began to cry again.
"Maura, you're…you're awake."
Swallowing sharply, Maura replied. "Mhmm" It was taking all of her energy to stay awake, but she could sense something in the older woman that made her want to stay alert. "Jane…whats wrong?"
"You…you were shot. You jumped in front of me, and you were shot."
"I don't…mean that, Jane. And…you know…I don't."
"Yeah. Yeah Maur, just listen, kay?" After receiving a very slight nod from the Doctor, Jane continued. "Seeing what I thought, was you die, I couldn't cope. I locked myself away and wished I could die too, because I couldn't find a reason to live anymore. After Hoyt, I was broken. I was broken and lost and I didn't want to be here anymore. I felt so much pain and embarrassment and fear that I didn't want to ever show my face again. I wasn't me anymore. I was just, this shell. Of who I once was. I was just living, without having a sense of life. I woke up, I went to work, I tried to get myself in danger and then I went home. Every day, the same routine. I felt so bad for Frost, because I was putting him in danger too, but I didn't care. I just wanted to end things."
"Jane…" Maura reached up, cupping her face, wiping away a tear that had fallen.
"Let me finish. Please." Jane clutched the hand on her face, but didn't move it, and sat on the edge of the bed, to be closer to Maura. "I wanted things to end, so bad. But then I met you. I just saw you at a crime scene one day, kneeling over a body and I just stopped. I got that sense of life back. At first I didn't know what it was that caused it, but then I realized, it was you. You gave me a reason to live. You gave me a reason to breathe again, to be me. To be Jane Clementine Rizzoli. I fell in love with you Maura Isles. You saved my life, and you saving it again today made me realize how much you truly mean to me. I can't live without you Maura. Don't ever leave me."
"Never."
"I love you Maura."
"I love you too Jane." She smiled up at the woman, through the pain. Jane leant down, resting her forehead against Maura's. Slowly, she leant further, brushing her lips against the blondes in a soft kiss before doing it again, a bit more forcefully.
"Thank you Maura." She breathed when they both came up for air.
"Always Jane, always." She smiled. This smile, however, quickly turned into a smirk. "So, your middle name…is Clementine…huh?"
"Oh shut up and kiss me again."
And she did.
A/N: Et voila. That's the end. I hoped you liked! Review if you want. Critism is welcome, just don't be too harsh okay? pleaseeeee. Danke. Also, check out my tumblr maybe? I am on haitus for a little bit, but I will be back . it's .com if you ignore the bracets. although, they do look like boobs, so I feel I should get them put in :P ahaha, anyway, urm...yeah. Have a nice weekend :D whats left of it anyway :)