Chapter 1
"Oh
Bella, you must know that I love you so. There is not a single word
to describe it. Not even the word love can explain the way I feel. I
suppose only one caught between two all consuming desires could feel
the way I do... How else could I fight the flaming urge to devour
your tasty flesh? If you were to anger me on a day that I was
hungry..." Edward stopped, but I knew how the sentence must end.
It was a truth to apparent to both of us. Not that I would, but if I
ever tried to leave him, could he suppress his carnal desires? As he
saw my face ponder what he said, and more importantly, what he never
needed to say, he silenced those thoughts by attacking me with his
icy lips. After a moment, whe n he was confident that he had
successfully distracted me from dark thoughts of his desperate hunger
for my blood, he smiled his charming lopsided grin and asked, "Would
you like to hear a story from my past?"
I sighed
before answering, gazing into those exquisite topaz eyes that never
fail to make my heart flutter- a heart that I hoped, with any luck,
would soon take its final beat, so that I could be joined forever
with my one true love, my reason for living, my impeccable,
unblemished, inimitable Edward. I was just on the verge of
replying
when the front door opened and Charlie walked in. This made my heart
pound for a different reason- a much more displeasing one that had
nothing to do with thoughts of perfectly smooth cold marble (a
thought, I might add, that had been dominating my mind ever since the
idea of the wedding had first entered it). What my sudden increase
in
blood pressure did have to with, however, was exactly that- the
wedding. As much as I could not wait to be married to Edward, and,
more importantly, to be a vampire like him and thereby forever
vanquish those dreaded "carnal desires," I was decidedly
not relishing the idea of informing Cha rlie of my matrimonial plans.
As usual, Charlie gave us a look of tolerance with only a dash of
annoyance, turned away after a casual greeting, and walked into the
kitchen...
I watched Charlie walk away, putting off the
moment I would have to look into Edward's dazzling, beseeching eyes
as long as possible. I loved him, more than life itself, more than
Juliet loved Romeo, more than Cathy loved Heathcliffe, and I would do
anything for him. That didn't mean I was exactly jubilant at the
thought of sharing t he news of our upcoming nuptials with Charlie,
though. After I knew I could put it off no longer, I chanced a glance
at Edward's face, and, just as I had predicted, he was staring back
at me with eyes so full of love, hope, commitment, anxiety, and
bloodlust that I knew I had no choice but to tell Charlie our plans.
I grabbed his hand and sighed, leaning in for a quick peck against
his cool, hard, incredible lips, before I stood up and muttered to
myself, "I hope his gun isn't loaded." I headed into the
kitchen, ignoring the disapproving glare I was sure Edward was
sending my
way. I paused before I passed thro ugh the doorway, and
watched Charlie, my father, for a few minutes, before going to give
him the news that I knew would tear his happiness to pieces like
nothing
else I could possibly say to him. Gathering the tiny
shreds of courage and willpower I had left, and peeking at Edward to
fortify my spirit, I took the last step into the kitchen and...
"Father?" I had decided that greeting him with the respect
he deserves would soften him up, "I have some news that... might
shake your foundation if you catch my drift." Probably not the
best choice of words, but all I could think of while I could feel the
topaz windows to Edward's soul burning into the back of my skull. "Oh
really? Is it about Jacob? Are you two together?! I knew it!"
Dang, still stuck on the subject, I thought bitterly. "No,
actually it's about me and Eddy... I mean Edward." I shot
back. "Oh, that guy. Well, go ahead then." he responded,
with an equal level of bitterness in his voice. "Well, he and
I... we... you see..." "Bells, spit it out already! You are
being extremely obnoxious, as usual, and I won't have it!" I was
stunned, so unexpected! His day must have been stressful, so I cut to
the chase. "We're engaged, ok?!" What a relief! Finally, to
have the weight off my chest!
But then... "I think I'm going
to take a walk..." he whispered. "But..." I was too late.
He had sprinted for the door, and slammed it shut.
I turned to
Edward to gauge his reaction, but he was looking out the window at
Charlie's retreating figure. "He's not handling it very well,"
he said. "Well at least we're still alive." I muttered,
fiddling with the ring on my finger. "No, he's REALLY not
handling it well AT ALL. Come look at this." I walked over to
him and gasped at what I saw; Charlie had unsheathed his belt knife
in our front yard and was holding it up with both hands, the tip
pointed straight at his chest. His eyes were closed and his lips
moved in silent prayer, his intentions clear. "NO!" I
shrieked. "Edward, stop him!"
Edward was a blur,
sprinting out to save Charlie from himself. He arrived seconds before
it would have been too late, his icy, muscular biceps curled around
Charlie, prying the knife away just as it pierced his flesh. A single
ruby-red droplet of blood bloomed from his punctured chest. Edward's
face suddenly twisted into starved agony, his midnight black eyes
widened in pain, and a low moan escaped from his suddenly drool
soaked lips. A surreal feeling washed over me, a painful
acknowledgement of the situation was dawning on me. I had no memory
of running outside, just the knowledge that my feet were carrying me
as fast as they could. My heart pounded against my chest as I
screamed to my Edward, my voice quavering, "Oh Edward! Please
control yourself! Oh please!" His face darkened, after an
eternity he gasped with his voice rattling, "Bella... please...
go... inside... you c-c-c-an't help... if I lose control... I-I-I
would..." He
heaved another painful breath , and grimaced,
his eyes tightly closed. I hesitated. He turned back to me, a demonic
yet adoring expression had morphed his handsome face, "NOW!"
he shouted using the lowest bass tones in his voice. I slowly backed
away from the scene. I could not turn my eyes from the confusion and
horror from my father's helpless face and the terrible uncertainty in
Edward's dark eyes as his mouth quivered in the direction of
Charlie's throat. In a split second, a streak of brown flew by in my
peripheral vision, tackling Edward, peeling him away from Charlie and
engaging in a deadly tussle. Jacob. I pulled Charlie up from his
shivering puddle on the ground and dragged him to the house, my mind
reeling. So much had changed in 4 minutes. My fear that I had
inherited my sweetly scented blood was all but confirmed, Edward had
lied to m e about his ability to control, Edward and Jacob's secrets
had revealed themselves to Charlie, the true
danger of Edward was
finally presenting itself, and as I look e d out my window I feared
that my best friend was losing to the love of my life in a struggle
for life and death. I had no idea what to do or how to help. I numbly
lifted the phone, my fingers shook while dialing a number I knew by
heart so well. After a pause, a familiar voice pleasantly said,
"Hello?"
"Renee!" I gasped into the
phone, barely able to contain the wave of emotions that threatened to
engulf me. "Bella, sweetie? What's wrong?" my mother asked,
concern clearly in her voice. I opened my mouth to answer and
realized I had no idea what to say. One of my parents had just
unearthed the secret to my existence, and it would do nobody any good
to tell the other. "Nothing's wrong, mom, I just wanted to hear
your voice." "Oh, that's nice of you honey," she
replied, completely forgetting the frantic tone my voice had
displayed at the beginning of our conversation. "So you will not
believe what Bertha told me the other day- you know, my neighbor- she
said that Timmy down the street- yes that's right, Hilda's son- she
saw him and my friend Beth's daughter Lillian together at some
restaurant - I forget the name- and she said they were kissing! But
of course Lillian is going out with Jason, so..." While Renee
went off on one of
her gossip rants, I glanced back toward the
window and was shocked and relieved when I saw Edward and Charlie
standing together outside, seemingly calmly talking. There was no
sign of Jacob, though. I cut Renee off mid-sentence, made a hastily
thought-up excuse, and promised to talk to her later. I then dashed
outside to my beloved, who without hesitation threw his arms around
me in comfort. Charlie was still standing there, and by the look of
him I was surprised he wasn't either having a heart attack or about
to pulverize Edward and me. He looked from me to Edward, and then
down at my hand. Hesitatingly I lifted it up to show him the diamond
glittering on my ring finger. He no longer seemed to care about the
engagement, as his eyes wandered from my hand to Edward's, which was
wrapped around my waist. I supposed, however, that the discovery of
vampires and werewolves, especially when your daughter had been
dating one for years now, was a bit more
shocking than a teenage
matrimony. I glanced at Edward and he seeme d prepared for any sudden
movements; obviously it was he who would have to keep Charlie's
suicidal tendencies in check.
I stood there for a few minutes
longer, clinging to Edward, before I glanced at my father once more.
"Dad?" I spoke quietly, hesitantly, in fear that any sudden
or loud words would bring him to the point of insanity, a brink that
had been narrowly missed when he discovered my upcoming marital
union. I could only imagine how learning the truth about Edward and
Jacob would affect him on top of the previous dreadful (in my and
Charlie's opinions, at least) news. When I realized he wasn't going
to reply, I tried again. "Charlie, why don't you come inside
with me and Edward and I'll make you dinner, hmm? Doesn't that sound
nice?" I didn't realize I had been speaking to him as if he was
a child until he lifted his head and said, "Bella, you may be
getting married, but that does not give you the right to baby me,
young lady!" I let out a breath of relief upon the
realization
that he was talking again, and had not been struck completely dumb by
the events of the last 15 minutes. It was then that Edward, the love
of my life, the light of my soul, the man who made my heart beat (and
who would eventually stop it from doing so) finally spoke up. "I
suppose I have some things to explain to you about what you just saw,
don't I, sir?" He seemed resigned as he said this, as if all he
wanted was to be able to pretend that none of it had happened, and we
could continue on with the merry charade that he had been
participating in for the last 90 years or so. We were both shocked by
Charlie's response. "Son, I may have been shocked, but I do know
what a diamond ring signifies. You and Bella are getting married. I
guess I am just going to have to live with that." My fiancé (I
repressed a shudder at the word I was not quite comfortable with yet)
and I exchanged a confused glance. Did he not remember trying to kill
himself,
seeing Edward loose control with bloodlust, witnessing
Jacob in wolf fo rm stop him? Now that I thought about it, I couldn't
remember what happened to Jacob. Did he get away alive? And was my
father going insane? The fact that I was almost glad about my
father's apparent memory loss was horrifying, but at the same time
I couldn't help the overwhelming gladness I experienced upon
realizing I wouldn't have to explain anything after all. I sighed
heavily once more and headed into the kitchen. What I found there
absolutely shocked me.
It was Jacob. "Jacob! What
happened out there? One minute you were all over Edward and the
next... you were gone!" "Bella, I have a confession. I am
actually... a wizard! (Haha just kidding, ignore that!) "Bella,
are you alright? How's Charlie?" Jacob whispered. He sounded
weak. "He's fine. How did you disappear like that?" He
looked anxious, as if what he was about to tell me would change our
relationship forever. "Bella, I..." he stopped mid sentence
and simply gave me a pleading look. "Jacob, please just tell
me!" "Ok... but please don't tell Edward I told you!"
He looked around the room, then, when he was sure we were alone, "I
saw Edward with another girl, they were embracing!"
"Wha-wha-wha-what?" I stammered, unable to control myself.
"It was a few days ago, I think she was one of them. He looked
like he was really in to her! When I came today I was going to tell
you, but then I saw Edward and Charlie...
so I helped." I
could feel the tears rushing down my face. How could he? After all
we'd been through! Could Jacob have seen the wrong thing? Some how,
it felt as though Jacob was telling the truth. And then... "Bel-
Oh, hello Jacob. I suppose I have to thank you for saving Charlie out
there. Bella, what's wrong, sugar lips?" "I'M NOT YOUR
SUGAR LIPS!" I screamed. Before I knew it, I had thrown the ring
at him and run off into the woods behind the house...
I could
hardly see straight through the tears that were streaming down my
face as I ran deeper and deeper into the woods, every second
expecting Edward to appear behind me. I couldn't decide if it was a
good or bad thing that he wasn't following me, but for some reason I
didn't care either way. Eventually I staggered to a fallen log and
sat down, burying my head between my knees as I sobbed my eyes out.
Jacob MUST be telling the truth. After all, it never made sense for
Edward to love me in the first place... If we were dogs, I'd be a
3-legged mutt with no tail and a squint and is deaf in one ear
compared to the gorgeous, purebred Golden Retriever
that Edward
would be. And speaking of dogs...
...An unusual sort of
werewolf peeked from the bushes, one I did not recognize. A rounded,
babyish face shone in the wolfish grin to which I was so accustomed.
As I watched it through teary eyes, the wolfish grin morphed into the
innocent grin of young boy-or rather something of an overgrown
toddler seemed more in order. He straightened his posture, and spoke
to me in the fashion of a child fancying himself a hero, "Jacob
lies to you." He waited, watching my response. He reminded me of
youth about to spill a juicy secret. I had witnessed his stance
countless times as I grew up friendless, absorbing the lives of
people less pathetic, wallowing until I met my bloodthirsty
counterpart. After a pause, he continued, determined. "I hear
what he thinks and says. You have a power over him. One that causes
him to drool in jealousy of a common leech, and moan under the moon
crying for his Bella. He frightens me, and the others too, in the
complications of his
desires. He is willing to plo t for you. He
has convinced the leech he envies so to deceive you, even today.
Charlie lies to you under threat of your life. Jacob is banking on
the idea that Edward will want to protect you from the pain that
Charlie's knowing would cause. He remembered." Just as soon as
he entered, the boy was transformed and gone. Who was this? Was he
honest? And maybe, just maybe... was it possible Jacob lied about
Edward's other woman?
I shakily got to my feet and started
trudging back to the house. I was confused; I had never seen this boy
before, but he had to be part of Jacob's pack because he could hear
his thoughts. But young boys weren't supposed to be able to
transform; it didn't make any sense. My head started to pound and I
came to a sharp stop, massaging my temples. I wasn't sure who or what
to believe; all I knew was that wanted to be back in the security of
Edward's smooth, cold embrace. I still loved him, still needed him,
even if he no longer wanted me. How I wished he were here with me
now. Just as these thoughts crossed my mind, I heard a twig break
from within the darkness of the trees. Something else was in the
woods with me. "Edward?" I called out. No one answered.
I
looked around me warily, but I heard nothing more. Anyway, I was too
distracted to pay attention. My mind was racing through the
possibilities-I decided there was no way to mistake someone else for
my marble-sculpture vampire of a fiancé, so the only other
possibility (besides, of course, that he actually was cheating - I
shuddered violently at the thought and tears threatened to cascade
once more from my eyes) was that Jacob was lying, like the youthful
werewolf had said. Soon enough, I made it back to the house and
Edward was waiting for me in the front yard. "Let's go for a
drive," he suggested, and before I could protest, he was pulling
me toward the driveway. I yanked my hand away, but not before Edward
had slid the ring back on my finger. I looked up at him angrily, but
the second my eyes latched onto his, I was lost. I couldn't think,
let alone speak, and so wordlessly I let him
pull me along. He
even directed me toward my old red truck, which was a shock, as he
usually complained incessantly about its inability to drive over 50
mph. We got into the car, me in the passenger seat and Edward
driving. Night was falling, and neither of us spoke as we drove
along. Finally Edward pulled over, seemingly in the middle of
nowhere. We turned to each other and Edward spoke first. "I know
what Jacob told you," he said. "But how-" I started,
before he cut me off. "You know it isn't true," Edward
stated, and then, when I hesitated, added uncertainly, "Don't
you?" As I looked into his beautiful topaz eyes I knew the
truth. It was almost like I'd been straining to see through a thick
fog of mystery and now the fog had cleared and the truth was right
before my eyes- it had been there all along, I just had to be willing
to open my eyes and see through the lies that threatened to cloud my
vision, to obscure the truth, to conquer my love. "Of
course,"
I whispered, and before I knew it Edward had me in his arms and I
felt his icy cold lips against mine. We broke away after a minute (or
two...or three...) and I whispered, "I love you." Edward
smiled. "I love you, too..." -he leaned in closer, so his
mouth was right next to my ear- "sugar lips."
I
giggled through the remnants of my tears and kissed him again,
passionately, trying to convey all my love and sorrow into the
meeting of our lips, my warm and soft ones pressed against his hard
and cold, coming together to make something perfect. When he broke
away from me I still clung to him, with my arms around his neck and
my face buried in his marble chest, soaking in his delicious scent.
When my hearbeat and breathing had slowed enough that I could think
coherently again, I pulled away from
my love slightly, just enough
to look up into his face. "Edward," I started to speak,
looking into his eyes to make sure I had his full attention, "today,
when I was...in the woods, I saw something, and..." I paused,
unsure of how to continue, or even why I expected Edward to know
anything about the werewolf pack in the first place. "What is it
Bella? Did someone try to hurt you?!" Edward demanded, looking
ready to pounce into action in my defense. "N o, no, of course
not!" I
hurriedly assured him. "I actually wanted to ask
you something." I continued to explain about the young
boy-werewolf and what he had said to me, omitting only the part about
Charlie actually knowing about vampires and werewolves simply because
I didn't want to dwell on it. "Who was that boy? And you don't
think Jacob could actually be that evil, do you?" I asked, all
the implications of what I had been told earlier finally sinking in.
If Jake really was as bad as the young
wolfboy had made him out to
be, he could cause so much harm to the Cullens, to me, to everyone I
loved. As second in command of the pack, he could order them to
attack, and practically nothing could stop him. As my thoughts
continued to spiral downward I began to hyperventilate, only pulling
out of it when I felt Edward's cool palms against my cheeks, forcing
me to look at him. "Bella, sugarlips" he murmured, "calm
down, I will always protect you." Instantly I could breathe
again. I f there was one thing in this world I could count on, it
was
Edward.
We had reached the house and I was exhausted.
"Meet me in my room in five, aight??" "Sure thing."
I walked inside, Charlie was watching a new game show on TV entitled,
" Am I the Baby Daddy?" and didn't notice me come in. "Hey
dad I'm home." I said warily. "Oh hey Bells, you feeling
ok?" "Yeah, I'm just tired. I think I will retire to my
room for the night." "Alright," I started to climb the
stairs. When I reached my room, there was Edward, my heart and soul,
my reason for life, my vampire vixen. "Hey baby face, did you
miss me?" he seemed to be in a good mood. He always was when he
was about to watch me sleep. "Of course I did, I always miss you
when you are not with me!" I replied in a joking fashion, but
inside I knew it was the truth. "Well, you look tired so why
don't you just let me sing you a lullaby to help you fall asleep?"
I
started to tear up. How beautiful! "That would be wonderful!"
I squeaked. "Alright, here it goes- Hush Bella baby, your Edward
is near! Hush Bella baby, your vampire babe is here! You know as I
rock you to sleeeeeeep in my cold marble arms, I will always protect
you from harm... OHHHHHHHHHHH huuuush Bella, hush my darlinggg
mortal! Fall into your slummmmmmmmmber! Sleep in Eddy's arms! One day
you will no longer be able to sleep, so enjoy this while
you
caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! You are my lifeee, I love to
watch you sleep, but I cannot watch you sleep, if you don't go to
sleep. So hush Bella baby, drift into your sweet slumber! Hush Bella
baby, fall into a dream of wonder!!
and it worked.