Mirage

A/N: Okay. So I'm just new to the fandom, I have only watched SNK maybe a few days ago, as a friend gave me a copy. But really tho, I've been dying to watch this anime for so long and as expected, I got so fucking hooked. And at their first scene together, I fell inlove with Levi and Hange immediately. A few episodes in and I already formed my OTP. Let's make this ship sail! P.S. My friend ships Petra and Levi and yeah, I can see them as a prospect couple but mind you, I love Levihan more and I believe they are canon. And they also give me so much feels.

Summary: Humanity's strongest soldier had secrets of his own. So when the woman he loved died, he turns on another for pure companionship and comfort. But a night of mistake has its consequences. Levihan.

CHAPTER ONE: REDEMPTION

Night after night, it was the same dream. Or rather, nightmare.

He can still hear her screams as she lunged into the air, only to be crushed by the eerily gigantic Female Titan, her blood spluttering all over the tree and the green grass that laid under it.

At that sight, he'll wake up with a bead of cold sweat rolling down his crossed forehead, his fist clenching the sheets of his warm bed. Levi sat up, his breath ragged as his heartbeat thundered wildly on his chest. He ran his fingers through his black hair and waited until his breathing eased to normal.

He could've saved her. She could still be alive right now and pursing her lips to give Levi the sweetest of her smiles, which he knew was reserved just for him and no other. He could've told her how he felt and they would have been in each other's arms right now, sleeping the cold night off and hoping that all the things happening around them; the horrors of endless fighting and survival – all these were just a part of some horrible nightmare.

But everything was real. Petra is dead. And she's never coming back.

And at that moment, Levi swore his whole world stopped. Time, which he believed is something that is precious and must not be wasted, suddenly ceased to exist. Everything seemed to be just an illusion – he couldn't feel the gush of blood surging in his veins, he couldn't feel his almost stoned heart beating on his chest. It was null. Everything was in black and white, all he saw was the stain of red in green. It was a conflicted contradiction – he felt numb, but everything in his demeanour and his stance screamed of nothing but pain.

Levi rolled over his bed, flipped off the blanket covering his half-naked body and stood up, his feet touching the cool smoothness of the floor. He twitched his nose and closed his eyes before walking his way in front of his wooden cabinet, where he pulled one of the drawers and slipped his hand inside. Getting hold of the thing he sought for, Levi grasped it and tugged his hand out, taking Petra's Wings of Freedom emblem in his hand. He remembered getting it as he tend to the lifeless bodies of his squad, with an unfathomable look on his face. Once he got the emblem, he trailed a finger along Petra's pale cheeks and let out the breath he's been holding since he saw her bloodied frame docked below the enormous tree.

Levi squeezed the emblem against his chest and decided to tuck it again on his drawer where he was sure that it is safe and guarded. He smiled a bitter one. He might not been able to save her but at least, for him, her spirit will live on forever.

Sighing, Levi shifted and tugged on a white shirt from his closet and silently walked out of his bedroom, closing the knob discreetly to not cause quite a stir that will surely echo along the hallway of the Squad Leaders' quarters. He knew some of them are still awake, contemplating life and thinking about what lies ahead this world plagued by endless horrors and sufferings. They may be wondering whose blood will be spilled next, or they may also be wondering about the state of their own death. Others are just merely sleeping with one eye open. But then again, in this cruel world, death isn't a big deal anymore. Years of constant battle and grieving for lost loved ones have made the surviving members of the Survey Corps if not stronger, then just better at hiding their own feelings.

There are also some who are just engrossed with their works, busy formulating tactical military plans to reduce the deaths of those fighting for their lives in every excursion beyond the walls of humanity. And there are, rather, there is someone who is just staying up late just to create different hypotheses and theories about the very enemy that that the remaining members of mankind so obviously loathed and despised, himself included.

As Levi trailed along the hallways of the headquarters of the Survey Corps, he got into deep thinking and kept on running on the paradox he created on his head. He wasn't really sure where he was going, he just kept on relying on his feet to do all the moving. He can't go back to sleep now, for he was sure that the nightmare he wanted to avoid will come haunting him again. It's better to live in the actual nightmare where he was certain he could do something – rather than sleep and just stare as the world crumbles beneath him.

And that's when he noticed, at the end of the third floor's hallway, was a lighted room among the darkness of the night where everyone preferred to be in slumber; a certain someone was still awake, working herself for the passion nobody knew why she was so engrossed about. Just as he thought.

Levi walked his way to the lighted room, his footsteps as quiet as a cat's. As he neared the room, he started to realize that it was in fact, Hange Zoe's secluded laboratory, where only those permitted by the owner are allowed to enter.

He'd always thought that the woman was mentally imbalanced – she was crazy, daft and weird, not to mention filthy as hell. She's so entirely obsessed with the Titans and has profoundly devoted her life to studying them, a creed that most people thought weird and appalling. They couldn't bear the thought of a single person so completely dedicated to researching about the predators that brought humanity to the brink of extinction. He initially thought it was weird, too. When they first met, he tend to avoid her because once she started blabbering about Titans, there's no way in hell to tell her to shut up.

But only a very few people knew the real Hange Zoe. She is also good at battle, and can even match and catch up with the likes of Mike and Erwin, even Levi, at certain times. She's one of the finest soldiers he knew, and it's no wonder why she became appointed as a squad leader and continues to survive. He noticed this the first time he got deployed with her on an excursion. And slowly, he became aware of the fact that there's more to her Titan obsession.

There was once an incident when they both got into deep talking and he finally understood her purpose. He wasn't sure how in the world she managed to drag him into it for he couldn't stand her, but once she got all serious, Levi became drawn to her speculations about their enemies. And since then, he has supported her research and at one point help her squad capture a subject for her tests. He listened to her mumble and even get into a banter with her almost every day, but it is usually tainted with pure wit and sarcasm.

Levi stood before the open door and clenched his fist in an attempt to knock, but immediately dismissed the thought. He can clearly see Hange sitting on a chair with her back to him, still gloriously and widely awake, scribbling notes with all those towering books sprawled on her desk. As he looked around, he saw the lab was a complete mess and he hated it. Books and pieces of paper were scattered on the floor, crumbles of the food she ate were also littered, unwashed plates and bowls were piled on a corner, clothes were hung on one side of the room. It was filthy, just looking at it.

"Oi, shitty glasses," Levi muttered, crossing his arms as he rested his back against the door. "The hell are you up to now? Have you turned completely mad that sleep is now off your agenda?" he said the words with the cold and ragged voice he had.

At the sound of his voice, Hange stopped writing, wiggling her pen on her fingers before tucking it at the back of her ear and turning to greet her late night visitor. "Levi… Why are you still awake?"

He snorted at her question and instead of answering, he walked inside the room. He couldn't possibly tell her what's bothering him; it was one of the things he wasn't really good at, explaining himself and speaking his mind out loud.

Ignoring the mess on the floor, he stood beside the table and decided to take a sit beside her. But just as he was about to sit, Levi suddenly noticed the bottle of vodka and glass full of the intoxicating liquid beside the pile of books. Hange just stared at him with mouth slightly agape as he paused for a few seconds and then proceeded to pull the chair and sat beside her.

"You do know that stuff will give you a hard time in the morning, do you?" Levi anchored his elbow on the table and tucked his fist under his chin, and turned his head to look at her.

"Of course I know," she half-smiled, barely flashing her pearly white teeth against her lips. The light on the room reflected her glasses as she shifted her position, but the blinding light faded immediately and Levi caught sight of the hazel brown eyes he had always admired. Hange once again smiled at him before grabbing the glass to take a sip of the vodka. "But I need it. It helps me think clearly."

"You're clearly a woman of so many contradictions and weird shit, it's a wonder you're still alive," Levi muttered under his breath as he grabbed the glass from Hange's hand and took a sip for himself. His eyes fluttered close at the bitterness of the liquid and his body shuddered at the tingling sensation of the alcohol kicking in his system. He cracked his eyes open and found Hange staring at him with those hazel eyes wide open, curiosity marred in her irises. "Damn, that was good."

Hange let out a chuckle, the sound of it undefined. "Yeah, maybe you're right all along. I am a walking contradiction," she let out another chuckle and pulled the pen that was tucked behind her ear, then started scribbling and picking up where she left off. "But I think that's what makes me different from everybody else."

Levi stared at her and contemplated her words, all the while noticing her now loose ponytail, and the way the strands of her brown hair framed her delicate face. Her nose was pointed to perfection and he couldn't believe how he'd never noticed it before, but her skin looked so flawless, smooth and positively radiant despite her staying up late and stressing over her research. Her hair was a dark shade of brown, and he's going to admit, he had never seen her hair untied. Judging by the length of her ponytail, he calculated that her hair's length might just be a little below her shoulders.

His eyes trailed from her hair down to her shoulders, and to her upper body which was covered by her usual yellow blouse, with one too many buttons open at the top. Moving a little down, he stared at the rather small mounds on her chest.

At that exact moment, Hange turned to look at him once again, and Levi was pulled from his thoughts, immediately looking up from her body. She grinned at him, but her eyes showed just a hint of humor. "The hell are you staring at, you short ass?"

"Shut up, four eyes." He showed her a disgruntled look, which earned him a sneer and another chuckle. "The hell are you writing, anyway?" Hange followed his movements as he grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured it on the glass. He brought it before his lips, then gulped the entire contents of the container.

"Oh, nothing. Just the usual. Running around theories and mixing it up, hoping to formulate a new one," she said with less cheer in her voice.

Levi snorted at her reply. "Huh. You're impossible,"

Hange just hummed at him and didn't say a word. Silence engulfed the both of them for minutes, with him continuously pouring himself a drink and her just scribbling the notes which he hardly understood. Her handwriting was a striking cluster of pixels as frustrating and smug as the woman they originated from.

Levi could already feel the alcohol now dominating his system, his sight blurred a bit and his temples pounded. He wasn't really used to having a heavy drink for the leisure of it wasn't something he usually indulged in. His everyday life focused on training and excursions into Titan territory – his mind set only on one goal: to wipe all those filthy creatures out.

He was always so composed and so rarely lost himself. He was always focused on the task at hand, never losing track of his train of thoughts. His mind was always set into one click and organized beyond belief.

Maybe it was why he couldn't save the people who mattered most to him, he was always so engulfed in killing the Titans and before he realizes what happened to the people dear to him, it's already too late. The people he loved died on the account of so many lives clinging to tentative existence inside the walls.

Maybe.

Levi had always thought about losing himself, indulging in the things that the man he was wouldn't normally do. For once, he wanted to feel real. To be regal.

With his mind swirling in an oasis of sudden confusion, he grabbed Hange's hair and pulled her head to him, taking the woman by surprise. Their faces are so close now, so close that he could feel her breath on his face, and smell the unpleasant odor of alcohol. But beneath it was the unmistakable scent of her hair, which, to her credit, drove him nuts and out of control. The intoxicating combination of her scent sent him flying and swirling. It was enthralling and enticing all at the same time.

Without one word, he crashed his lips against hers, hot, fierce and demanding. His lips sought for her soul, and the feel of her lips finally against hers set him soaring. He had always imagined what it was like to kiss the woman, but this was in his primitive senses, the needs a man could not help but try to endure. His grip on her hair tightened, and he continued on his assault on her lips, but he was having none of the compensation he wanted. He could feel both her fists clenched tightly against his white shirt, and the force she was exerting to push him away was evident.

Finally, she gave in and sighed into the kiss, devouring him like he did her, and she returned every stroke he gave her, her lips moving in sync with his'. Levi's tongue darted from his mouth and tried to seek entry, and Hange granted it and opened her mouth to him, feeling his tongue roam around her.

She tasted of alcohol as he does, but the taste made him want more, demand more, and crave for more. Levi grabbed her waist and pulled her to him, pushing her legs open so she sat astride on his lap. Hange's hands went to his head and treaded her fingers along Levi's black hair, which made him grunt with satisfaction. He then ran his hands up her sides to cup her breasts. She broke off their kiss, gasping at the sensation of feeling his hands kneading her chest.

"Levi…" Hange muttered under her breath, her breathing fast and labored. "I don't… What are we…. We shouldn't…."

"Shut up," he hissed. "I need you, Hange," Chills went up her spine upon hearing her name tumble from his lips, and she crashed her lips against his', wet and hot. She started moving, thrusting her hips slowly at Levi's already hardening staff.

He immediately stood, taking Hange with him as he did. She wrapped her legs around his hips, still thrusting slowly as Levi tried to walk to take to take her into his room. He let out a cross between a snarl and a groan as he pounded her on the wall of the laboratory. "Hange… To my room, now."

She unwrapped her legs from his hips, and he released her. Levi grabbed her wrist and tugged her fast. A minute passed and they were already before the door to his room, he was already a bundle of nerves as he opened the knob of the door, grabbing her wrist again as the door tumbled open. He shut the door behind him and locked it.

Hange was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at him with clouded glasses. He walked slowly while unbuttoning his shirt, revealing the body of a trained soldier – broad shoulders and muscled biceps. When he reached her, Levi titled her chin and kissed her again, this time slow but still tainted with desire. He took off her glasses and placed it on the bedside table. He started unbuttoning her yellow blouse, revealing the black bra that she wore underneath.

Hange was the one who unhooked the bra from behind, and exposed her breasts to him, perky high, and hardened. When no more barrier laid before them, their clothes which laid on the floor now long forgotten, Levi pusher her on the bed.

He began kissing her lips again, down the hollow of her neck and the valley between her breasts. He tugged on one tight bud and swirled his tongue, then moved to the other breast. He played and pushed her right back to the edge, until she lost all pride and begged. The litany of his name on her lips shook through him and raw possession beat through his blood.

Levi moved down, trailing kisses on her stomach and finally to her waiting womanhood. One finger plunged deep while his thumb hit her clit. She dripped around his finger, and he added another as he rotated teasing circles around the tight bud. Hange cried out and twisted, fighting him for more in a demand no experienced woman ever owned. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she reached, and a scream ripped from her throat as the orgasm crashed over her. Levi watched her face as she fell apart, and his cock throbbed with a painful need to finish and take her.

With trembling fingers, Levi grabbed her hips and positioned himself before her entrance. He pushed in one inch. Another. She gripped his shoulders and asked for more. Sweat pricked his brow and muscles tightened with excruciating pain. One more inch and he was almost halfway there.

"Damn you," she croaked out. "More… Don't give me this careful bullshit, Levi, take me now." He gritted his teeth and bore down, then plunged.

Wet satin so tight he'd dived into heaven and hell. She wrapped her legs around his hips and dug her heels in deep. Head flung back into the pillow, Hange asked for more. And he gave it to her.

Every deep thrust squeezed him with blinding heat and need. He set a steady rhythm that soon exploded into a crazy need to lust and want. She tightened beneath him and exploded. Levi followed her over, her name slipping from his lips as he exploded inside her.

Sunlight filtered through the windows of Levi's room.

It was quiet, almost wretchedly so. But he can feel the slow breathing beside him.

Hange Zoe.

"Shit…" It was never really his intention to have sex with Hange that night, maybe he was just sad, or too carried away at the moment. The alcohol in his system was a main factor too. His façade cracked. It should never have been this way. This was a mistake.

The woman beside him stirred and her breathing suddenly became controlled. He knew she was awake. "Oi shitty glasses, I know you're up," he removed the blanket which covered her face and he was greeted by an unfathomable hazel brown eyes.

They stared at each other for a moment, both thinking of what to say but have no words for it. Finally, Levi spoke in his cold voice. "It's just sex. I'm sorry,"

Hange half-smiled at him, but her eyes showed no humor at all. She stood up, unconcerned by her own nudity, and then proceeded to pick her clothes up and slip them on. Levi watched her movements, his eyes heavy on her back. Once she's fully clothed, she walked her way to the door but before heading out, she looked back at him. "I know it is," she uttered softly, and then left.

A/N: Feel free to give me a review so I'd know if I should still continue this. Thanks for reading! :)