Disclaimer: Characters contained within do not beong to me.

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for stopping by. I hope you enjoy it! The second chapter is on the way!

A Semi-Charmed Life

by Kristen Elizabeth

I want something else

I'm not listening when you say good-bye

The first time they made love, she cried herself to sleep. He never knew, having drifted off into blissful dreams like a man who had just touched heaven. But she'd laid beside him in the dark, grief and guilt spilling over her cheeks in wet rivers until she was too tired to keep her eyes open any longer.

She'd given in to temptation, unable to turn away from that face, especially when those eyes seared through her, burned her with desire that had been pent-up for so long. And it had been everything she'd imagined it would be…only it wasn't the right hands caressing her flesh, wasn't the right mouth plundering hers, wasn't the right man buried inside of her.

Oh, how she'd betrayed him.

In the morning, Rose woke up to his face as he gave her a soft kiss. His lips were warm, his hair was perfectly tousled, and if she only closed her eyes again, she could pretend he wasn't just a copy of the original.

It was far too easy to play make-believe.

So that was how she lived. Eyes half closed, always aware of everything she'd lost, constantly conscious that the man who now called himself John was only a mirror image of something that would always be greater in her mind. He could have her body, but she'd given away her heart a long time before he was even created.

If he knew, he said nothing. Whatever she was willing to give him, he seemed willing to accept. The days turned into weeks and then months. Still endowed with all the infinite knowledge of a Time Lord, John quickly became Torchwood's top alien expert, while she stayed on with Pete's company. They didn't speak of her work at night, definitely not between the sheets, but it was no secret that the project that had helped bring her back into the Doctor's world had not been abandoned.

She was still searching for a way home.

They lived together, first in a set of rooms in Pete's sprawling mansion, then on their own in a modest flat in the heart of London. They slept together; the passion that had been sparked on the beach in Norway had never diminished. They ate toast in the mornings, took walks in the park on weekends, argued over toothpaste…they shared a life together, a simple, normal life that was, to the outside eye, practically perfect.

But a simple pink plus sign changed everything.

"You're not joking. Are you?"

With her arms wrapped around her stomach, Rose shook her head. "This isn't something you joke about." She sucked in a fortifying breath. "I'm going to have a baby."

I'm. That one little word made the light in his eyes, which had been steadily growing, suddenly fade away. I'm. Not we're.

"Do you want this?" she asked a second later.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed several times. "Only if you do."

The way he shrugged his reply stung her and she had to blink back a sudden smarting of tears. "I suppose it's no big deal to you," Rose snapped bitterly. "You've been a dad before, right?"

"More than a lifetime ago. And it wasn't…" John stopped short, suddenly switching gears. "I wasn't sure we could…that this could happen. I'm still part alien, after all."

"Well, it did happen." She straightened her shoulders. "This is your last chance to tell me you don't want it. If you say nothing, I'm having it."

Rose held her breath until he reached for her hand. Without a word, he gently squeezed her fingers. And although she knew it was impossible so early on, she could have sworn she felt the child move within her at his touch.

It was later, as she lost her breakfast with violent spasms that she realized…her betrayal of the man who had changed her life now had a face. A tiny little face.

There were days when Rose loved being pregnant.

On those mornings, the first thing she did was run to the mirror to see if she looked any bigger. She would sing lullabies to her stomach in the shower and refuse to drink even decaffeinated coffee, just in case.

Pete was thrilled at the idea of being a grandfather and doted on her with almost as much enthusiasm as he had upon his wife when she was pregnant with Tony. Rose rang him on those days, filling him in on all the details she thought he'd care about, such as the construction of the nursery and how his company's staff were taking care of her at work.

She would make love to John on those nights, wildly and passionately at first, but then with more care and caution as the months passed. Afterwards, when he thought she was dozing, John would talk to the baby.

"You're absolutely perfect," he would say to her belly. "And I can't wait to meet you."

She'd fall asleep with a smile on her lips, hoping that the next day would be just as good.

But then there were the days when Rose hated being pregnant.

She would hide under the covers long after the alarm had gone off, convinced that she was too big to even roll herself out of bed. She frowned at her stomach in the shower, cursing her fumbled attempts to shave her legs that almost always ended with blood and bandages. Afterwards, she hugged the one cup of coffee that her doctor had told her she could have per day.

Jackie wasn't at all thrilled with the idea of being a grandmother while she was still a new mother herself. It was always on those days that she called, asking about all the details Rose didn't want to think about…stretch marks and epidurals and what it was like to carry a baby that was a quarter alien.

She never made love to John on those nights and he never pressed the issue. He would hold her, one arm underneath her head, with his free hand resting on her belly until her eyes closed. Only then would he speak to the baby.

"Your mum had a hard day today. Let's make tomorrow better for her, shall we?"

She'd fall asleep with wet eyes, praying that it would be.

Nine months came and went. The good days and the bad days passed one by one until she felt ready to pop at any moment. And she wasn't entirely sure the end was in sight. For months, John had successfully evaded the question of how long Gallifreyan children gestated. She had a feeling she'd be finding out the hard way.

But then one morning, Rose woke up in a sticky puddle of blood and water. Her panicked cry had John bolting out of the bathroom just in time to reach the bed as she slumped back against the pillows.

She heard him call her name as the darkness claimed her.

To Be Continued