Addie sighed heavily and rubbed her temples. It had been a long day. She wouldn't do this for just anyone but then Heather was not just anyone. Heather had been everything to her at one point in her life and if Adelaide owed a single person on the planet anything at all it was the one dozing lightly with the babe to her breast and the toddler sound asleep at her back.
The more years that passed, the less Addie remembered her mother. She'd been so young when her mother had died in an ill-fated effort to bring another brother into the world. Heather had been there before and was all of maybe twelve or thirteen. There was never even a hole left by the passing of Addie's mother. Supper was on the table every night, hearty enough to sustain even her father after a long day in the fields. There was a hand to hold as she walked to school. There were new dresses and every morning her hair was brushed and braided. Heather held her through nightmares. Addie'd never been under any delusion that Heather was her mother but had always considered her a beloved older sister.
It had been Heather's concern for Addie that had saved Addie from one more day with her father or ever knowing the household after he had died. For the rest of her days, if Heather was ever in need of anything, Addie would be right there and no one was more in need right then.
"Story, Addie…pease!" Stephano begged from her lap. He was the last of her charges needing to get to sleep before she, herself, could even think about slumber.
"Of course, Stevie," she said softly. He was a wavy haired replica of his father, the famous Buffalo Bill Cody. Not that Addie would ever really think of him that way. He was just Billy. He was silly and sweet and loved Heather in such a way that Addie would hold every man she ever met up to that love. Stevie's light blue eyes were huge and round. It sometimes made her giggle and wonder a bit that his father's eyes contained the same innocent qualities. Billy had seen his father killed, his mother die from the struggles that followed. Billy'd been there when Heather had finally escaped from Addie's father. Addie did not know all that happened that night but she'd seen Heather's battered face and the pool of blood in the upstairs hall. She knew that her father had forced himself on Heather and beaten her and any other details there might be…well, she just didn't want to know.
But Billy knew them all. He had been there, treated her injuries, held her as she'd cried. He'd been shot trying to defend his love. And then he'd gone to war. Somewhere in all of this he'd buried two friends and seen another ride off. Addie knew that hurt just as badly. They all had feared they would never see Jimmy again. So much pain, so much ugliness and Billy could still gaze with wonder at a sunrise or snowfall.
"What story do you want tonight, Stevie?" she asked the child.
"Pa…an' Uncle Jimmy."
Heather smiled. Stevie had never heard the name 'Wild Bill' and if any of them had any say, he never would. Jimmy had worked hard to be the man he was now and they'd only just gotten him home. It hadn't been a whole year, she thought, since he'd come riding back. Addie'd been there to see the faces of her parents, the ones who had raised her and loved her like their own, when their last boy came home to them.
He wasn't the same man she remembered. Life had battered him down in the years he'd been gone. But he was still kind and gentle as she'd always known him to be. Addie still remembered when her father had died. Jimmy did everything he could to not have to be the one who told her. He had wanted to hide the fact that he'd been the one to kill her father. She hadn't held it against him. Jimmy didn't know it at the time but he was her hero. She hadn't been able to tell him that until he'd come home.
"Alright Stevie," she said, "You know, your Uncle Jimmy is a hero to a lot of people. He rescued his own wife, your Aunt Faith from a terrible man who was intent on hurting her. He's helped so many others too. But I don't think I've ever told you how he became my hero. Your pa was part of this too. In fact, I think Jimmy became a hero to your ma and pa both. I would dare to say you and your sister and brother wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for your Uncle Jimmy."
"My hero too?"
"I would say he would be," she agreed. "You've never met him before, have you?"
Stevie shook his head.
"He's been real busy with the new baby and the farm and all. I'm sure you can maybe meet him at some point though. Anyway…I should tell the story so you can get to sleep. First let's tuck you in, right here next to me. I promise you, Stevie, you won't get a better night's sleep than tonight. I think if I could sleep every night with the movement of a train, I would."
She got him settled beneath the blankets on her cot. One of the better things about Heather being married to the man she was, was that they could travel this well. They were not on hard benches trying to keep children in line while the children were bored out of their minds. They had a little room with beds where they could spread out, get some of the children's toys out, get them down for naps during the day and a nice sleep at night. And the children were used to travel. Heather typically hated letting Billy out of her sight and went with him everywhere, bringing the children with them. She'd feared once when she was nearing time to deliver Ophelia that she would never see her beloved again and it nearly did her in. Things were different now—had been since little Benvolio had been born—Addie doubted Heather even noticed that Billy wasn't there with them.
"Okay, this happened, my goodness, many years ago. It was before your ma and pa were married even. They were courting though. At least they were trying to court. It was hard for them because Heather, your ma, was living with a man who wouldn't let her court. Now some men in charge of a young girl—like your pa with Fee there or even Teaspoon with me—now they might say a girl of fifteen, like your ma was, is too young to be courted and just be trying to protect her. They might even be right. I'm fifteen now and I don't think I am ready for too much courting. I might like to talk with boys but I know I am not ready for the responsibilities that go with marrying which is what courting leads to."
She took a breath realizing she had digressed.
"So, your ma was living in a house with a man named Martin Lepley. He was her uncle by marriage. She had gone to live there when her own ma died, that would be my Aunt Jeannie. My mama was Heather's Aunt Etheline. Well, my mama died while she was having a baby. The baby didn't live either. Heather was the oldest woman in the house even though she wasn't a woman at all. She was all we had though, my brothers and I. I didn't know lots of things about the situation at the time. I was very young then. I knew Heather took care of me with the same love my mama had. I didn't know my father was planning on marrying her as soon as she turned sixteen. She didn't want to marry him, by the way. She never did, even before she met Billy, your father.
"But then they did meet. She bumped into him in a store and he fell in love with her the moment he laid eyes on her. It was just like a storybook. He did everything he could to see her and she tried to push him away because she was so frightened of her Uncle Martin. One night something changed. I don't know what had changed in Heather but I think it had something to do with how much your father loved her. She felt like she deserved good treatment all of a sudden. I don't know what my father asked her to do but she refused. He got real mad—he was scary when he was mad. And then she ran. She ran to the only place she thought she might be safe, even though she'd never been there before. It was the Rock Creek Pony Express station. Your pa rode for them. I know I've told you that before and he's told you some good stories about it too. No one was awake and your pa was on a ride when she got there. She knows now that she could have knocked on the door of the house or even the bunkhouse and they would have seen to her but she didn't know the others then like she does now. So she hid in the hayloft.
"Come morning, my father came looking for her. He yelled and threatened the young men at the station and your Uncle Jimmy drew his guns and told my father he'd better get away. No one challenges your Uncle Jimmy when it comes to shooting pistols. Sort of like how no one challenges your pa with a rifle. They're just too good, the both of them."
Addie gently stroked Stevie's little head. He could be such a terror but he was always the best for her and somehow she never lacked for patience with him. He couldn't help being a little mischievous, not with the father he had.
"Your ma heard her uncle yelling and Jimmy and the boys sticking up for her. I don't think she understood it at the time but she does now. Those boys might've been orphans and not had proper family like how some folks think but they knew more about family and loving each other than most who have those advantages. After my father left, the boys figured he was right and she was probably there so they went searching. It was your Uncle Buck who figured she was in the barn and your Uncle Jimmy went to find her. She was so scared but he just sat on the edge of the hay loft and talked gentle to her until she let him carry her down. There wasn't even any discussion about where she should go, they took her in and cared for her and she was one of them right from then. It wasn't too much later when I got to come live with them all. I have Teaspoon to thank for that. I know I don't call him pa too often even though he and ma fell in love and all but that's what he was from that moment. I was the only girl and so I couldn't work the farm. I was too young to cook or keep house and so my father didn't even notice I was there. Teaspoon came to ask about me because your ma was worried about how I was faring. My father just handed me over. He said I wasn't worth anything anyway and if Teaspoon cared so much then he could have me. My father wasn't a very nice man, really.
"Things got good for a little while. The boys all fussed over me and Rachel…well, she wasn't ma yet but she cared for me while Heather was still getting used to having a family that acted like a family's supposed to act.
"There was a dance coming up right about then. It was right after your ma turned sixteen and your pa wanted nothing more than to take her to that dance. He knew he'd be the envy of every man in Rock Creek with Heather on his arm. Your ma's very pretty you know."
"I know," Stevie interrupted, "You and ma're the most prettiest ladies anywhere!"
"You're such a sweet boy," she said blinking back the moisture in her eyes. She had always thought Heather was the most beautiful woman ever with her eyes like springtime and her flowing brown hair. She sometimes forgot that a child like Stevie might look at her the same way as she had looked at Heather. "Anyway, Heather agreed to go to the dance and Rachel and your Aunt Lou set to making her a dress. The fabric was near to the same color as her eyes and the style…why she looked like some fancy lady from back east. You're used to seeing her look like that but back then, she dressed much simpler. Sometimes she dressed and did her hair like she didn't want anyone to see how pretty she was. Oh, Stevie, she was breathtaking that night. She looked like a princess. Really she did. And the dance was nearly magical. She danced with all of the boys from the station and even with Teaspoon but she danced most with your pa. They stayed after the rest of us left and danced until the band got tired. Walking home, my father found them. He wanted to take your ma back but your pa wouldn't let him. Guns were drawn and fired. I guess you've seen the scars your pa carries from that night. Jimmy and Teaspoon came running. Billy was motionless on the ground, unconscious. But my father was moving. Billy'd shot him but he could move. He was crawling toward where he'd dropped his pistol when he'd been shot. Jimmy saw it, saw what would happen if my father got that gun. I don't know if he aimed to kill both of them but I know my father wanted yours dead. Jimmy didn't even think. He just lifted his gun and shot my father between the eyes.
"At first no one would tell me what had happened. I had to go to the bunkhouse and sleep in there with Kid and Lou and still no one would say anything except there had been an accident and for me to get some sleep. The next day they told me that my father was dead and Billy'd been wounded. I wanted to go see him. I wanted to know what happened. No one would let me. I was too young, too little for such things. But I listened when they thought I wasn't paying attention and I got some of the story. Finally I got Jimmy alone. He was teaching me to ride a horse and no one else was around and I asked him what happened. I don't know if he thought he was protecting my memories of my father but there weren't really any worth protecting. He drank too much and was mean to Heather and barely noticed me. I told Jimmy as much. I know he still didn't want to tell me that it was him who'd taken the kill shot. When he did, I threw my arms around him. I know he'd been protecting his brother, his family. But he didn't realize he was protecting the only family I'd truly known at the same time. I don't think Heather would have survived if your father hadn't. He almost didn't but her love pulled him back to all of us. From there things really did get better. Your pa got stronger and your ma did too. They married and officially made Rachel my ma. It was as happy an ending as you'll find in any fairy tale. It had more than one hero though. Your pa was the prince who rescued the fair maiden but your Uncle Jimmy was the knight who protected the prince."
She kissed the top of little Stevie's head.
"Now get to sleep. We'll get into the train station tomorrow and Teaspoon said he'd be there to meet us. If I know my ma, she'll be there too and it won't go over well if you're tired and cranky when we get there."
She continued to stroke his soft hair and watched as his eyes fell shut. Then set to fretting about the next day. Teaspoon and Rachel would be there to pick her up. She hadn't mentioned in her wires that Heather and the kids were coming with her. They would be glad to see everyone but if Addie had told them then she felt she would need to explain why and she wasn't sure she entirely understood it either. Addie'd had a fast decision to make and the only answer that sounded right was getting back to the family and having them help her sort things. She often felt she was young for her age and that was actually by design. She never wanted to be so thrust into adulthood as Heather had been. But it also meant that she felt very uneasy handling things herself. Where Heather would just look at a situation and know what to do, Addie would waver and wobble until someone—usually Rachel or Teaspoon—helped her figure it out.
Things got so strange and unfamiliar so fast for Addie and she needed to talk to her ma or her pa or even Buck or Kid or Lou. Heck, Jimmy or Faith would be good. She just knew she was in far over her head and maturity.
So there she was on a train with Heather across from her curled with her two youngest and Addie holding onto the oldest Cody child. Sure Teaspoon would be happy to see Heather and the little ones but then the questions would come and some of the time, Heather would try to explain and sometimes she would not. And her explanations seemed only to make sense to her anyway. Addie sure didn't understand them.
Finally her own fretting exhausted her enough to fall asleep. She'd worked so hard to never make her new family cross with her. Sometimes she had failed but rarely. They were too good of people to have some child they showered with their love create problems for them. She tried to tell herself that they would not be cross but then she hadn't warned them she was bringing another plus three young children with her. She had been cowardly and that was something never taught her by these kind people.
Perhaps they would be happy enough to get to see the children that they would overlook Addie's failings. They always said there was nothing she could do to make them stop loving her. And they told her home was where to go when you didn't know what else to do. Jimmy had told her that too. He said it's why he came back. He didn't know what else to do when he'd had to leave Faith behind.
Well, she didn't know what else to do so she was going home and she was bringing with her someone else who didn't know what else to do. With that tiny bit of resolve, she drifted to sleep and hoped things would look better come morning. She hoped that the people, men and women, who'd always been her heroes would come through once again. Maybe she could even be Heather's hero for once.
So this was supposed to be a different story. It was actually supposed to be about why they are on the train headed back to Rock Creek and away from Cody. But that will come next. Addie desperately needed me to explain all this. She's a sweet girl, really. Anyway. The next one will be Lover's Eyes based on the Mumford and Sons song of the same name and will explain what is going on with Heather. For now, enjoy the song stylings of David Bowie.-J
Heroes – David Bowie
I
I will be king
And you
You will be queen
Though nothing will
Drive them away
We can beat them
Just for one day
We can be Heroes
Just for one day
And you
You can be mean
And I
I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers
And that is a fact
Yes we're lovers
And that is that
Though nothing
Will keep us together
We could steal time
Just for one day
We can be Heroes
For ever and ever
What d'you say
I
I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins
Like dolphins can swim
Though nothing
Will keep us together
We can beat them
For ever and ever
Oh we can be Heroes
Just for one day
I
I will be king
And you
You will be queen
Though nothing
Will drive them away
We can be Heroes
Just for one day
We can be us
Just for one day
I
I can remember
Standing
By the wall
And the guns
Shot above our heads
And we kissed
As though nothing could fall
And the shame
Was on the other side
Oh we can beat them
For ever and ever
Then we can be Heroes
Just for one day
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
Just for one day
We can be Heroes
We're nothing
And nothing will help us
Maybe we're lying
Then you better not stay
But we could be safer
Just for one day