RobStar Week Day 5: PTSD
A friend like you
That night the storm was loud, yet bearable for the Titans as they went off to sleep. Well, bearable for all except for one. As Starfire laid her head on the pillow, she was reminded of the first time she had been insulted, humiliated in front of everyone, because, just like that time, the weather was nainy. It had been on her eleventh birthday, when she was officially introduced to the court.
She remembered that day clearly: the sky of Tamaran was covered with yellow clouds, announcing that rain was coming. Princess Koriand'r was wearing a purple sleeveless dress with silver decorations around her waist. The green ring on her finger and the necklace matching showed her royal descendance. She nervously approached the ball room, accompanied by her mother.
"You will be alright, my daughter." Kori's mother reassured, which made her leave all her fears behind.
The night had gone well: Starfire had danced with her father and many other diplomats perfectly, she had talked to other members of royalty about politics and surprised everyone with her answers. She was proud of herself, but of course, Blackfire didn't like it.
Kori was carrying her drink when Blackfire made her trip and the light green liquid that was in her cup before ended on the robes of the ambassador of the Psions.
"Oh, by Xhal! I am so very sorry about this. I accidentally tripped and…"
"Shut up you trok! You should be sorry." The ambassador demanded. "My garment is ruined now! I hope your father pays for this!".
Princess Koriand'r was astonished. She was sorry, and she was trying to make it better, but to call her like that? She had been told the Psions were an angry race, and that they were cruel on their experiments. Afraid that she may do anymore harm to her image, she ran upstairs to her room and locked herself for the rest of the night, only the rain to silence her sobs.
Starfire laid on her bed, the moment of ruining her party repeating itself various times. What had she done wrong? Had she provoked her sister's anger? Or Valyor when he insulted her? The ending conclusion was always the same: she had been born a tamaranian, or in the case of Blackfire, she had been born.
As hours passed and her crying hadn't stopped, Robin couldn't take it any longer. He knew something was wrong when he had first saw her eyes as the raindrops fell. Tired of hearing from her that everything was alright and not intervening, he got out of bed and directed himself to her room. As he stranded outside the door and knocked it, he realized he should've probably put a shirt on, but he really didn't care. Star was now his girlfriend and she would see him shirtless sooner or later.
Sobs still emanated from the other side of the door, demonstrating either she hadn't heard him or that she was ignoring him and waiting for him to leave. He then knocked again, harder this time.
"Star, please open up. It's me. C'mon, you know that I care enough to stay here all night if I have to.". With that said, Kori opened the door and fell into an embrace with him. She was wearing a striped light blue and pink nightgown that covered up to her knees. His arms supported her as her head fell into the crook between his head and his neck. One of his hands made its way to the back of her head and stoked her hair softly, while Dick recited sweet nothing on her right ear.
After a minute, he gently picked her up and carried her inside the room. He sat her on the bed and kneeled before her, his hands intertwined with hers.
"Star, please tell me what's wrong. I know you probably don't even want to remember it, but help me help you." Richard knew it was hard. The innocent and happy attitude couldn't last forever, there was a sad and suffering part that she didn't showed the rest of the world. Starfire was the strongest person he knew, but he also knew she was affected by really tiny things: the death of a character in a book or when she accidentally broke something due to her super strength. She may be a warrior princess, but she had feelings as well.
"I'm sorry, Robin." Kori said as she wiped the tears away from her face "I did not wanted to worry anyone at this hour. I remembered some things… bad things that have occurred to me…and they are most hurting." Richard sat beside her on the bed
"What did you remember?". Kori squeezed his hand. "Please, there's nothing to be afraid of, I want to help you, the same way as you have helped me many times before. I'll love you no matter what you say."
"I remembered…when Valyor came and humiliated me, how it had happened before, how my sister hates me. I do not know what I have done to provoke that anger, except being myself. I thought that it could be possible that maybe…maybe my sister would not hate me if I really was not such a trok sometimes." Starfire clutched her knees to her chest, hugging them, trying to avoid her boyfriend's look. There was a moment of silence before Richard answered, and when he did, it could be noticed the determination yet softness in his voice.
"I don't know what you see so wrong about being a trok. I think that if you are one, then I really want to be like you." Kori slowly opened her eyes and looked at his blue ones while his left hand stroked her shoulder and his right hand passed through her vibrant red hair. "When Valyor came here, we were amazed by him, and I couldn't help to think that if he was that cool, then you were even better. Without a ship you've been able to win battles bigger than the ones he had barely endured. I'm sure that when other people call you trok is because they can't stand not being as good and caring and spectacular like you. I'll like to be like you, and if that implies being called a trok for being that amazing all the time, then start calling me trok this instant." Kori giggled a bit as he went on.
"What I'm trying to say is, that if all troks are like you, then it can't mean something bad, rather it would mean to be someone that continuously cheers everyone up, that defends others rights, that fights for what's fair, and in your case, looks incredibly beautiful while doing so." Richard finished, but he watched that Kori was tearing again. His face showed confusion until Kori threw herself at him and pressed her lips against his.
Dick relaxed as he embraced her and hugged her back and she ruffled his hair. After some time they broke the kiss gasping for air, still in each other's arms.
"I want to say that I'm also glad to have you in my life, you trok." They both laughed and Robin looked at the watch.
"There's only three hours until sunrise, and five until we have to be up. Do you mind if I stay here? I'm quite comfortable" Richard grinned.
"Of course not, Richard. You know you're always welcome here." Starfire said.
"Did I tell you how I love it when you say my full name?". "Richard" rolled out of her mouth like no other word. As he thought about it, Starfire started to fall asleep, and he could only watch her. When he thought she couldn't look more peaceful than then, he finally drifted off to sleep.
It was that night that Starfire let go of the word "trok", let go of her doubts and welcomed the feeling of being herself with no fear. It was the fact that she had been welcomed there, in Earth, with her friends and her boyfriend. She belonged there, and they were happy to have a good trok, a good friend like her.