Pretty glamorous shit huh? Rocking out every night with my brothers, a new cd and an awesome circle of friends. How could someone like me not be happy? Stress that's how. Family stress, the stress of not being good enough at a performance, the stress of losing our fans and the stress of being a diabetic. That's right even Nick Jonas gets stressed out sometimes. But sometimes I can't take a break from the world, because I never stop working and I never stop being a diabetic. It's not that I don't want to its just that I don't get to. My brothers and I are just constantly touring, recording, interviewing and working on our tv show that we just never have time. They all know that I need a break but we just can't. Sometimes I just sit in my bed and cry from all the stress at night. Joe and Kevin are the only ones who know of my late night cries. In fact they're the ones who hold me when I cry. Mom doesn't know, dad doesn't know, even Frankie doesn't know, just me and my older brothers. Nobody knows. So I can't bring myself to regret the decision to runaway. Kevin's taking me; in fact, him and Joe are coming too. Well, they're coming to make sure I make it there ok. The place where I'm going is a small town in North Carolina called New Bern. So as I write this I just want the fans to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting you guys down, I'm sorry that the Jonas Brothers are going to be minus a brother, and I'm sorry for hiding my emotions for so long. Don't get me wrong I love performing for you guys every night, but it's just too much pressure. Getting yelled at by our manager, getting yelled at by mom and dad for yelling at the manager, is just too much for me to handle. "You're not trying hard enough," they would say. But I am trying, I'm putting my all into every performance but it's never good enough. I practice every day and every night but its never good enough. I'm tired of living a lie. It's not fair to me; it's not fair to my brothers and it sure as hell not fair to you guys. I am at the airport now and giving this note to Kevin. My plane is boarding and I hug both him and Joe goodbye.
"Call as soon you land," says Joe as hugs and kisses my cheek
"I will," I say tears falling freely down my face. Kevin wipes them away.
"Remember live like you're on the bottom even if you're at the top," he says. After hugging and kissing my brothers goodbye and with one final wave I am on my way to New Bern, North Carolina. I would miss Texas. I'd miss the performances. I'd miss my loving over protective brothers. But most importantly I am going to miss the fans. Cause without you guys I would have never survived this long. So now at the age of 17 I am on my own. My brothers and I still keep in touch; in fact they are coming to see me in about a week. My house is beautiful. It's way out in the country, and has everything from a master bedroom to a barn in the back. Kind of like the house we shot at for our Lines, Vines and Trying Times cover. Completely breath taking. I still write songs I just don't perform like I used to. I only perform for my friends in New Bern and occasionally at BBQ's. So I guess now I can truly say that I'm living the dream baby living the dream.