Pure Silence

I turned and watched the door close.
A shiver ran up my spine.
What had just happened? Why did it happen?
The door clicked shut releasing the suspense which had reached its crescendo.
The only thing I heard was the beating of my heart which was no longer whole.
I sunk, exhausted, to the floor, feeling the cold, wooden boards underneath my bare frail legs. My whole being felt alien. Not understanding who I was. Or what I was.
Everything seemed to have turned to ice, the only heat coming from teh pain in my aching chest.
Breathing deeply I pulled myself up into a sitting position trying to feel teh blood rush to my aid.

I felt dead, alone, unneeded. My whole world had come crashing down on me in less than a minute, the weight forcing me to scream out in shattering agony.
I felt weightless, in a world of darkness and uncertainty.
Why? Why? Why!
Clenching my hands, I threw myself against the wall, tears of pain, and anger poured out of me.
Life wasn't fair.
Life was a living death.
Like hell.
Where blood and war entwined it's razor sharp talons, reaching for its innocent prey's flesh.
"Hu, I'm never gonna eat meat again" I laughed, hearing sarcasm sink into the supposedly happy sound.
"I used to embrace myself in love" I gasped, feeling like every word was a dagger sticking ever so deeper into my heart.
Shaking I held my hand out, blood trickled down it towards my wrist, my tiny wrist, my ever so dainty wrist.
I stuck the wall, more blood came, I strucked the wall again, and again more blood came rushing out.
No tears came now.
Just the ever so cold feeling of nothingness reach its cruel hands into my already broken heart.
"He was my salvation, my everything"

Memories of his face filled my mind with happiness.
The way he smiled. His bright blue eyes, the loving gaze he gave me before he left.
"No, he's not gone, he's not gone" uncontrollable sobs followed. But however much I told myself he wasn't gone, I knew as much as the people who saw the terrible moment, the terrible moment he died. That he was dead.
Dead in the land of war, in Afghanistan.
My beloved. Alone.
My beloved gone, forever.
Silence.