Note To Reader: I love one-shots and Sheelos so I wrote another one. This one is sort of angst and somewhat romantic at the same time. I was so bored of waiting for something to happen that I forgot that I could start writing something while I wait. This idea just came to me while I was laying on bed, listening to music. Music really helps. Sorry beta readers, I just had to load this before you guys checked it, okay? Anyways, this is pretty short compared to my other Sheelos ones but no matter, just enjoy.
Disclaimer and Dedication: Well, I don't own any of the poems in here except for the last one, which I made up. I dedicated this to Michelle of the Night. Happy birthday!
Summary: Winning isn't everything; only by losing do you truly improve. And at certain times, changes are necessary for development. Especially when it is for someone you love in his or her most dangerous times. Dedication to Michelle of the Night. Sheelos, angst, one-shot
Love is fire. But whether it's gonna warm your heart or burn your house down you can never tell.
-Jason Jordon/Joan Crawford
Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
-English proverb
Summer Sun and Autumn Moon (IMPROVED)
By Potter29vo
Tears were bottled up in Chief Igaguri's eyes and pressure was felt deep in his heart to see his only granddaughter in such a bad condition. She had caught a severe flu and she had not recovered in three days. Every medicine was proving to be useless to the female native with the violet hair and eyes since she did not want to recover. She never wanted to leave her bed again. Sheena, the female Mizuho successor, was ill in bed and had not woken up for hours.
Her Grandpa, or Chief, was growing more worried by the minute to see her lips blue and her face pale. Her breathing was heavy and her head was hot. Her life was only surviving by her own heart and mind, which both were working more and more slowly. This upset the Chief painfully. She was the only granddaughter he had even if they were not blood relatives. She would not eat anything and her health was dying away. She was only twenty-one.
The Vice Chief, or Tiga, was holding onto Sheena's icy hands and was hoping for a miracle. If only her hands were warm again, she might have a chance to make it. Tiga turned his head and watched the falling snow outside the window. Each snowflake fell to the ground gently and stayed in its place. None of them were the same. Tiga shook his head and knew this would not help Sheena's recovery. The Vice Chief always thought Sheena's health was a firm edifice that needed no rebuilding. This sudden change proved him wrong; Sheena was not perfect. How could he ever think she was?
The last person in the room was Orochi, Sheena's brother figure. Orochi, the ninja in blue clothes, was always stern and knew what to do in these situations before him. But for once in his life, he could not get his mind to think positively anymore. He was never insouciant but he would always let his guard down a little bit if it was Sheena. At first, when he knew she had caught a fever and then the flu, he thought it was innocuous and would go away as quickly as it had come. He was wrong however. She was getting worse.
The weather did not help Sheena to improve either, but rather did the opposite. The winds were ruthless and the ground was filled with millions of innocent snowflakes. The wind would, every minute or so, hit the window so hard that they thought someone was knocking on the door. The bare tree branches lingered outside their village and the swaying flowers that used to bloom peacefully in their gardens were all gone. How crass was the weather! The sliding door would sometimes suddenly slip open for some freezing wind to sneak in. Now, Orochi was guarding the door and was watching Sheena's lethargic body on her bed. Tiga was still holding Sheena's cold hands and Igaguri was still resting his somnolent head in his hands. It was really late now.
Finally, after another ten minutes or so, Orochi stood up fiercely and glanced at both elder men. He knew he must do something! He couldn't let Sheena continue like this.
"Chief... Vice-Chief... we can't just stay around here and let Sheena deteriorate like this!" The Chief brought his head up with sparkling tears at the corners of his eyes. Orochi twisted his lips downward at seeing his Chief like this.
"The medicine did not help Sheena one bit..." Vice-Chief answered in Igaguri's place, but still laid his eyes on Sheena without turning around to face Orochi directly. "We called the doctor from Flanoir and he's on his way now. The snowstorm must be the reason for his delay." Orochi was about to reply when the door whipped open again. Orochi slid it shut once more and panted.
"Our medicines are too archaic now. What is taking that doctor so long?" Orochi almost demanded the answer. The Chief silently stared at Orochi until he wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Orochi... what happened to your patience? It hasn't been fifteen minutes yet." Came Igaguri's solemn reply. Orochi was not the type to start fighting with the Chief like Sheena always did. He collapsed on the ground again and laid his back on the door to keep it from sliding open.
The blue clad, younger ninja buried his head in his hands and cried out softly.
"I don't know... Sheena... she was always so strong and tough." The Chief went over to Orochi's side and patted him on the shoulder offering some comfort. Orochi did not move and continued to whisper. "I... was always sick when we were young and Sheena always cared for me... why am I so helpless now? Why am I sitting here while Sheena is suffering?" Orochi could not keep those emotions inside any longer. His voice was cracking with every word he spoke.
Igaguri shook his head even though Orochi couldn't see this gesture. "Orochi, don't blame yourself. There is nothing you can do. This is a matter of love." Orochi shot his head up and waited for his Chief to carry on his explanation of this theory.
"Sheena is suffering and the fever just made it worst. She could recover, but she doesn't really want to." Orochi rubbed his mantle with his fingers and tried to comprehend what the Chief was trying to say.
"Chief... why doesn't Sheena want to recover?" Orochi dared to ask.
The Chief laid his head sideways on top of the palm of his left hand. "The pain was too much to bare alone and she wanted to be free of it." Orochi shook his head and knew Sheena was being foolish. "We have to know the problem before we can find out the solution." Orochi nodded.
"If only we could read Sheena's mind right now and see what she is thinking..."
The Mizuho guardian was wearing her usual violet outfit while she sat deep in the Ymir forest where Zelos was scanning the area around them. The forest was awfully confusing and the team of eight had already broken up into pairs to inspect the place. Sheena sighed to herself. Why was she always the one stuck with Zelos? But worst of all, Lloyd left the ring with Zelos. Oh boy...
The Chosen of Tethe'alla placed his right hand above his strands of hair to get a better look at everything without any interferrance from the sun. Sheena rolled her eyes. There was no sun to block. The forest was a like a maze with trees everywhere and different color flowers filling the whole place. Sheena continued to sit and rest, but watched Zelos as he threw a random rock into the water. Some small ripples appeared on the surface as the rock startled some swimming fish. Zelos was beginning to feel hopeless.
For one reason or another, he went over and occupied the spot next to Sheena's and stared out at the calm water. Whenever he was this close to her, she could always catch a strong masculine smell from him that she was sort of used to. It was either that or the smell from his fine red hair. He always wore that outfit with the black undershirt and white pants. The pink and black gloves added to his sense of fashion. She glanced at him silently until he suddenly started talking.
"It's nice to have some time alone, huh?"
Sheena didn't know what to say to this forward question. She never really noticed how many times she was left alone with Zelos.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Sheena questioned him back with determination in her voice. Zelos, who usually continued the fight, was now more noiseless than ever. She raised an eyebrow. He must be scheming something.
"Nothing." Zelos replied shortly.
Sheena was concerned now. There were always times when he did this, just acted something completely from his usual self. She never thought of the reason why until now when the sound of the forest was relaxing her restive self. The green leaves above their heads made this place isolated from the sunlight high above. Sheena loosened up. The calm blue liquid near their resting place was just so calm and peaceful. How nice it would be if they always got to relax like this.
The summoner suddenly stopped acting like this. No... she couldn't think of relaxation when Colette was suffering so much. Sheena almost felt guilty at the thought of Colette in her current condition. Colette always kept a smile on her beautiful face when things turned out for the worst. Sheena wanted to just forgive herself and the world and just smile. Life was too short to be taken for granted. She was glad she was doing something with her life and skills to help the world. For a second time that day she turned her head toward Zelos. Maybe he did too... maybe he was really glad to help out and has a caring side hidden behind the selfish side of him.
But what if he continued to be selfish and bailed out one day? What if he tried to think of a way to leave the group and not help out? This came to Sheena's mind because of Zelos's usual attitude towards everything. Yes, he was handsome but that wasn't everything. He had a mind-set she didn't agree on and she would never be with him if he continued being this way. The time they spent together brought them closer, yes, but the times when he continued to be this annoying just made her think of Orochi. Orochi would make a better husband figure if he weren't her brother figure already. How could Zelos act so dirty and selfish all the time? Maybe it was time for a change.
Zelos noticed her thinking face and smiled.
"What's up my voluptuous hunny? Thinking about me again?" Sheena recovered from her thoughts and glared at the Chosen, at his taunting words. She hated it when he did that!
"No." She lied. "You know... I never thought of it really but you are the most selfish person I know!" The Mizuho ninja told him her immediate thoughts to see his usual amused expression on his face. He didn't seem to care what she thought of him.
"Nice to know that." Came his cool reply.
"How can you act like this all the time? I mean don't you have any dignity at all?" Zelos shrugged as Sheena rolled her eyes. Sometimes, talking to Zelos was worse than talking to a wall. Actually, he was like a wall. Always bouncing back words.
"Zelos! This isn't a joke!"
Zelos continued to stare and blinked a few times before he finally gave her some satisfaction by showing his comprehension.
"I know it's not. I never said that, my violent banshee." Sheena shot him another evil fierce look to show her negative opinions of his views.
"Why do you keep on doing this to me? Why me? Why not Raine? Why not Colette or Presea? Why me?" Sheena questioned him out loud. She could feel the redness reaching her cheeks from anger. The birds even seemed to be afraid of her right now, a few flew away from the branch above her head. Zelos showed no reaction.
"Because you're special." Zelos replied sternly for the first time during this whole conversation. Sheena picked up a small rock near her shoes and threw it in the water, disturbing the elegance of the sparkling water. Ripples followed. Zelos opened his eyes wide.
"Sheena, you're like the water and I'm like that rock. Whenever I talk to you, I get an immediate reaction which I like. Like the rock, when it touches the water, ripples come exactly like your reactions. And also like the ripples, your reactions die down sooner or later."
Sheena picked up another rock and threw it into the water again.
"But also like the water and rock and the ripples, the rocks sink down into the water to make the ripples. And then you need another rock to make more ripples. I don't want to be thrown away after I've been used." The female got up, ready to continue on her way when a firm hand gripped her arm tightly. She turned around to see what he had to say.
"Sheena... maybe that was a bad example." Zelos stated.
"Zelos, I like a man who is selfless and could be thoughtful in the right situations and limpid at others. I don't want someone who is selfish and always carefree." She told him and walked off.
Zelos looked away speechless. He turned his head to a trunk and pink flower nearby where he spotted a graceful blue butterfly.
"Sheena, I'll show you what I can do." He told himself and ran over with the ring to the blue butterfly.
The Vice Chief got up and grabbed a book from the shelves. Orochi and Igaguri were both guarding the door now. The Vice Chief opened the book to a page containing a poem that Sheena used to love to read out loud when she was young. He grimly read the short poem to her:
How helpless my heart!
Were the stream to tempt
My body, like a reed
Severed at the roots
Would drift along, I think
The thought of being back in Altimara did not help Sheena's nerves one bit. She hated this cheesy resort with the abundance of fun, young people and children. But of course they had to come here for Colette's recovery. Sheena cursed at herself under her breath for thinking of herself when Colette was suffering. For Colette she would endure this place for now.
Sheena tried to keep herself tranquil and ignore all distractions but she couldn't help but glare at Zelos behind his back while he started hitting on one of the bunny girls. She stormed off when he turned around and caught her watching. He ran after her while the rest of the group merely shook their head. He passed the hot girls in their swimsuits walking by, the usual tourist information girl near the inn, and went straight to where Sheena had stopped in front of the transportation.
"Sheena, why did you run away like that?"
Sheena turned around and punched his shoulder. He gave a painful groan while she looked away from his pain. She was not happy at all. He was being stupid again.
"Zelos, you know as well as I do. You know... using your usual ribald lines on me and flirting with other women doesn't help me like you more."
Zelos was glad that Sheena had calmed down now, but was still worried by the words she had barely spoken.
He still did not understand how serious this was and crossed his arms in front of him. The guardian was always mad. Now, Sheena had her back to him.
"I'm just doing what I usually do. Doesn't an actor have to act?"
Sheena whirled her whole body around on her feet and stared directly up at him furiously.
"But an actor doesn't act all the time! He doesn't act when he doesn't have to!" Sheena was fuming as far as Zelos could see. "Sometimes an actor can be liked or hated by his actions on stage! Right now, I hate your little act even if those other girls like it." Sheena rubbed her hands together hastily before she walked off.
And once again, his hand was gripping her arm.
"Sheena, what do I have to do?"
Sheena dropped her head lower and showed some shaking emotions.
"I like a man who is loyal. I like a man who is loyal to that one special person instead of flirting with many. I like a man who doesn't act all the time!" Zelos let his hand go and she walked away. His hands curled up into fists and his eyes filled with determination.
Tiga thought he saw some life into her eyes but he knew he must have been seeing things again. He was about to read another poem when Orochi came to his side and from the look in the younger male's eyes Tiga knew what he wanted to do. He handed the book to Orochi, who read the next poem:
The end of my journey
Was still far off,
But in the tree-shade
Of the summer mountain
I stood, my mind floating
Orochi thought that he saw Sheena's hand move, but told himself it must just be something else. He watched as the flickering candlelight grew dimmer through the night. The shadows on the walls... the smell of lilacs from Sheena... how much it reminded him of the summer days. Sometimes, the hardest times were ones which were least expected to be so.
Due to her rapidly beating heart Sheena woke up from her slumber in Dirk's home where the group had decided to rest before heading back to Tethe'alla to face Mithos once and for all. She held her hand tight to her chest while her heart started beating normally again. She couldn't sleep for some reason. Maybe it was the constant worry for Colette and the battle they were going to face. Colette had been so brave to save Lloyd like that. She was about to but Colette did it first. She clutched her head because of the thumping sound in it.
Maybe someone had heard her gasp for breath during her sleep or something, for Zelos opened the door silently to check up on her. She stared up at him with teary eyes, not those of sadness but those of longing for something. Something she could not explain. He went up to her and laid her head firmly on his shoulder to calm her down. This worked.
But her mind wandered to the mountains outside her window and her eyes showed deep emotions of loneliness and longing for her village. What if her journey never ended? What if she never saw the people of her village again? What if Mithos destroyed the world? These questions kept her from her slumber. The land needed Mana, the living beings needed air and water, but what did the mountains need?
Sheena knew those were foolish questions and knew she must think positively. For the world, her group, her village, nature, and even... Zelos. She didn't want to see either the summer scent end nor the autumn breeze stopped.
"You're like the summer scent and the autumn breeze. Always so elegant and graceful." Zelos whispered into her ear. She shook her head.
"Even if I am like the summer scent and the autumn breeze, there will always be something like a heavy rainfall in the summer or a snowstorm in the winter to block it out. I will not be elegant and graceful forever. Right now, the heavy rainfall or snowstorm seems to be you, Zelos." Zelos laughed, and knew she had a negative response to everything.
Sheena smiled with a content look on her face while she felt Zelos's heartbeat against her cheek.
"I like a man who loves nature for what it is. I like a man who enjoys the summer scent and the autumn breeze. I like a man who listens to his heart and changes for the better instead of flattering." Zelos listened to Sheena without a single word. Summer was one of the seasons Sheena absolutely adored and it was coming to an end. Rain suddenly started hitting the window. Autumn was coming.
The third man of the group, Chief Igaguri, came to Sheena's side as well. Orochi nodded and passed the book to Sheena's grandpa. Maybe there was still hope left. Igaguri placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before reading the next poem:
Every single thing
Changes and is changing
Always in this world
Yet with the same light
The moon goes on shining
The Chief nearly jumped to see Sheena breathing normally, but grinned firmly. Sheena had lived for such a short time compared to himself. If there were a way, he would trade his old life for her young one. She still had so many things to do and so many changes to see.
Waking up from her slumber early in the morning, Sheena went to do her usual dressing and cleaning before going down to greet the others. But when she did come down, she was in for a surprise. She stared with her mouth open while Zelos cooked breakfast. He never wanted to cook for anyone! He would always try to avoid cooking and would drop the responsibility on Regal or Genis. But most of all, he had a stern face on as he worked on her part of breakfast. Was he actually being selfless and thoughtful? Sheena knew he must have just been doing this to win her back.
But throughout their flight back to Tethe'alla, Zelos would randomly ask if anyone was tired or if they should stop for lunch. Maybe he had changed...
Sheena knew this was too good to be true, and she knew he would finally show his true colors again when they stopped at Flanoir. This was probably his third favorite place to hit on girls. The group planned to walk off to buy some supplies such as lemon gels for the upcoming battle. When everyone went inside, Sheena and Zelos wondered off in separate directions and caught sight of a good-looking girl freezing to death and watched as Zelos went over to hand her one of his coats.
"Here comes the flirting." Sheena mentally told herself.
"Thank you so much, may I have your name?" The girl asked politely with her girly voice which caused Sheena to roll her eyes. Zelos smiled brightly back at her.
"I'm sorry, but I'm already taken by my one and only." He responded to her request. Sheena's eyes opened wide when Zelos walked up to her and waved a hand in front of her face. Sheena came back to reality and stared up at him with confused violet eyes.
"Sheena, you were watching?" He asked, surprised.
"What? You didn't know I was watching?" Sheena inquired stupidly.
Zelos shook his head.
"No, and you look like you need warmth too. You want my coat?" Sheena turned pink, but declined his offer. She followed the tracks in the snow left by herself a while ago back to where the rest of the group would be and waited for them to return.
The snow tickled her cheeks while she walked. She was freezing! Why did she decline his offer? But before she knew it she felt a heavy coat on top of her shoulders and knew who was behind this. He listened to her and wanted to follow his heart. He knew she was cold so he did what he thought was best. She smiled to see this change. He was not even trying to flatter her!
"Zelos, is this all true?"
"Sheena, only by losing your attention on the first two or three tries did I realize that there is room for improvement." Zelos told her and stroked her cheek. The moon had revealed itself in the mist of the snow. Sheena grabbed his hand and snuggled it to her cheek.
Finally, after a few minutes of small cuddling, she had sadness in her eyes.
"But Zelos, there are some things that cannot change. For one thing, I am from Mizuho and you are from Meltokio. I could not abandon Mizuho and I know you could not abandon Meltokio. We are both needed where we belong. Just like the moon and the sun, the sun must always shine in the day and the moon must always shine in the night." Sheena, with hurt and regret, dropped his hand and went inside the building.
Zelos gazed at his hand.
"On cloudy and rainy days, you don't see the sun shining. On new moon days, you don't see the moon shining." The Chosen took his attention from his hand to the moon in the sky. The moon was full and the stars were dancing in the dark night sky.
"If we could just take a little time off like the sun and the moon, we might have a future after all."
The candle had almost totally stopped burning and the snow had died down. It was still autumn but winter was coming. Autumn leaves of red, orange, and yellow had almost completely died out and changed to the white snow. It was rare for Mizuho to be surrounded by snow like this. Sheena really did want to recover but she knew she had no energy left to choose anymore.
The entire day had seen no sun since it had been cloudy and snowy. The night was similar with no moon since it was a new moon day. The room was still, the book was placed gently back on the shelf, the atmosphere was calm and the ill girl was still on her bed. Maybe there wasn't any hope left. Maybe she was to go away. Tears fell down Sheena's pale face, knowing that she could not feel the autumn breeze any longer nor the summer scent that awaited her. Pain seeped through her heart, as she knew that she would not see another sunny day in the morning sun or another gleaming night in the evening moon. But utterly and most of all, she would not feel happiness or sadness of being around the person she loved.
The sliding door made a small noise as someone entered the room silently like that night in the summer. Whoever it is, grabbed a hold of her thin body and laid her head on his or her shoulder. The same way he used to do it... The person used his right hand to rub her messy hair and his left hand to clutch her hand tightly. The warmth from the fingers was different from those of the Vice Chief's. She recognized the hand of that person but didn't dare to think who it might be.
"You want to feel the summer scent and the autumn breeze, don't you?" The person asked her. How much she wanted to nod and shout her lungs out with the answer- YES!
"You want to see the sun and the moon, don't you?" The person asked her again. Again, she could not move even if her heart wanted to jump out and answer.
The person, who she knew was a male, wiped her tears away with his fingers. He laid his own head on top of hers.
"I thought I would never say this, but this time, even if I am the heaviest rock in the world, I will get no reaction."
One sparkling tear spilled from her eyes. He continued as if nothing had happened.
"Even if I'm acting this whole play to you, you could not react by liking it or hating it."
Another little tear fell from her eyes. He took no notice again and continued.
"Even if the snowstorm ended this minute or I go away, you would not be able to feel the autumn breeze. Even if there was no rainfall in the following summer or I was to stop bothering you, you would not be able to smell the summer breeze."
A third teary drop descended from her eyes. He tightened his grip and continued this one-way conversation.
"I wanted to say this to you the first time, but had no courage. This time... I will say it." He paused and tried to rephrase exactly what he said that day. "On cloudy and rainy days, you don't see the sun shining, just like today. On new moon days you don't see the moon shining, just like today. If we could just take a little time off like the sun and the moon, we might have a future after all. Just like today"
Now, tear after tear was pouring from Sheena's eyes. Suddenly, Sheena felt like a big weight had been lifted from her soul and heart. She felt like getting up and smiling and shouting out to the world. Yes, maybe she could have a future with someone she loved so deeply. Energy from his words had made her want to lift her eyes and see his handsome and kind face once more. She wanted to know... No, she knew it was him! It must be him!
With all her strength, she tried to lift her heavy eyelids. Her eyes were letting in some faint light and she knew she was making it. While she struggled, she could hear him recite the next poem in her book:
I waited and I
Yearned for you.
My blind
Stirred at the touch
Of the autumn breeze
"Zelos..." Sheena breathed out with her small amount of breath. She must grab onto her life again. She must. Her vision was slowly recovering and she could already make out some fuzzy red-haired thing. Next, she could see the blue-colored gentle eyes and the pinkish outfit. Sheena felt his hand grip her own more tightly. She opened her eyes completely and saw the person she knew she would see in front of her. A small smile formed on her lips while a gentle grin came back to her in reply. He let go of his embrace. She felt her whole body recovering by the minute. The most dangerous time of her flu was over.
But unfortunately the light of the candle gone out after a few seconds of her seeing the person she loved in front of her eyes again. She could not feel his hand any longer. Her heart raced as she got up, blind from the darkness with no moonlight to support her vision. She ran around her room trying to find Zelos. But in the end she gave up, ran out of her room and outside into the snow.
"Maybe it was a dream..." Sheena told herself.
She was about to head inside when she saw footprints in the snow and thought that maybe they belonged to him. Or it might have been Orochi, Igaguri, or Tiga. But the footprints looked too fresh to be theirs. Sheena scanned the place for any trace of him at all. The snow was too heavy to see anything. She caught a snowflake and dropped it to the white colored ground.
Finally, she gave up and turned around to see a longer poem on her door. She would have jumped with joy if she weren't so sick. She knew she had recovered tremendously because of him. She took a hold of the paper and read it right there:
On a shrunken branch,
Birds had flown away-
autumn nightfall
Mizuho where lass calls
No scent! What do she do
during rain in spring?
No sun? That morning
We shall meet once again
Changes to be made
Ending Notes: I know... no kissing or whatever. And no happy wedding ending either. But I just love endings like this one! So please don't kill me. Even though this was pretty short, I actually think this is one of the best one-shots I have done in a long time. Wow, two weeks off and inspiration hit me hard. Love you all and please R R.
Lil-Samuu: Love ya like always for correcting this for me. THANKS!