Ano
Kimochi no MukouThe Other Side of That Feeling
By
SG2
Series-Dragonball
Pairing-Trunks x
Goten
Genre-Yaoi
Classification-One-Shot, PWP, Trunks' POV
Timeframe-Somewhere in the IGNO Timeline
Rating-NC-17 for explicit language and graphic sexual situations (boy x boy)
Warnings-Lemon Yaoi (Male x Male). If that ain't your thing, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE READIN' THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Notes-
Well, honestly, I'd had this idea for a while…But with one thing or another, I never got around to forming any solid ideas for this story beyond "Trunks is going to be Uke". That, however, was difficult enough for me to wrap my mind around as I have never thought of Trunks as Uke…and why the majority of TruTen fics (honestly, 99 of them are TERRIBLY written ;;) piss me off because the boys are put SO out of character and Trunks ends up Uke…it makes me wonder if these authors have ever actually SEEN the series and know even ONE Damn thing about the characters they're writing, and not just looking at a picture of them and saying "wow they're cute I think I'll write them". People who write under THOSE generalizations as well, I have found, most likely decide that Trunks is Uke because of his hair color, or that Goten is Seme because they see him as being like Gokou, and strong, and…stuff…I dunno what motivation those idiots have. As I said-people who have NO CLUE how to write the characters, and if it's one thing I don't tolerate in fanfiction, it's OOC-ness. Anyways, I digress. My main point being, I couldn't come up with any further ideas for this story because it seemed so out of Trunks' character to be Uke…but the other day, out of NOWHERE, a rush of ideas for this story, which I had honestly FORGOTTEN about, came to me-and in first-person, no less (which, for those of you who read my notes section in Just My Imagination will note, writing first-person is not a strong suit for me). And so, I started writing stuff down and I really like what came of it. Another thing I can't stand in Yaoi fics is first-person sex scenes, because A) they aren't usually done effectively and B) you're only experiencing it from one of the characters…but, in the case of this story, that's perfect. I want the reader-and myself, who was skeptical of the idea to begin with-to be able to feel what Trunks is feeling during this entire ordeal. Oh, and on a side note…I have no idea why neither Goten nor Trunks ever seem to be wearing any underwear in any of my fics…go figure. XD So, there you have it. Pretty long notes section for a fic I intend to be a shorter-in-comparison-to-most-of-my-stories One-Shot, but hey…'tis the glory of SG2. Read on.
-Alex "SG2" Hoffman, 7/3/06
"Ah…Trunks-kun…"
Enshrouded in darkness, the only thing I can see is the spark in his eyes.
"P…please…more…"
His voice rises in pitch as well as volume as he begs me. The next thing I feel is his small hand tightening around my shoulder, squeezing as if holding onto me for dear life.
"I can't…stand it…"
I focus my eyes in the darkness, looking down at the small body pinned underneath my own. His eyes are clenched shut, his mouth wide open. His breathing, irregular as he holds tightly to me. With every little movement I make, his entire body twitches and quivers, craving—but yet unable to receive—a release. His shaggy black hair is spilled across my pillow, his slender limbs thrashing against my sheets. I grin inwardly…the fact that he's in my bed is always a thrill of its own.
He's panting harder now. I can feel his warm breath against my skin each time I get closer to him, only to move away again. Over and over. His voice kills me; my blood rises to a fever pitch each time I hear my name fall from those beautiful lips.
"Trunks-kun…"
An endearment he's always used on me. I've heard it so often that I tend not to even take notice to it anymore during day-to-day conversations…yet, for some reason, at a time like this, hearing it brings me an excitement I never imagined I could feel.
I get close again. My hand brushes a lock of hair from his face before moving lower, ever so slightly brushing against him. My blood races when I feel him shudder in delight. Grinning sadistically, I drive into him hard, whispering in a low husky voice when my face is close to his. I lick my lips, staring fiercely into his eyes.
"Beg me."
His head flies back at the pressure of my thrust, a moan that makes me twitch escaping him as he wraps his legs tighter around my waist. He struggles to control his breath, whispering a low response to me…
"Pl…please Trunks-kun…"
"I can't hear you…"
Grinning still, I grasp his hips tighter and drive in with even more force. He screams, his entire body arching up to meet me.
"Aaaah!! Trunks-kun!! Please!!! More!! I need…aah…neeed!!!"
"Yeah? What is it that you need, Goten?"
His hips jolt, desperately trying to arrive at his release as he tries to match me move for move. I laugh breathlessly at the frantic display.
"I need…"
"Yeah…?"
"H…harder…please…harder…"
"Good boy…"
Sometimes it's scary, the fact that he brings out this carnal beast within me. Sometimes I think it's just Saiyajin instinct, causing me to behave this way. But then I think…
"Nngh…Trunks-kun…no more…can't…hold on…"
My breath hitches and I swallow a choke in my throat. It's maddening…
"Oh…Trunks-kun…can't hold on…going to…"
His hand falls somewhat reluctantly from my shoulder, faltering lower. He forces his eyes open and stares up at me, clenching his teeth and shuddering when he begins stroking himself. Sometimes…at times like this, it makes me think…
"Oh…Trunks-kun…too much…I can't…"
…That it's this boy that brings out the beast in me.
"Aaahn…"
Ever since we were little boys we've been sparring with one another. One good reason was that it was fun, and a good way to get exercise. But I think another reason that we always thought was to live out our fathers' ancient rivalry with one another. It was more than just instinct; we wanted to surpass one another.
"Trunks…kuuuhn…More…"
Since then, we've surely fought at least once every day, for about 15 years, assuming that I was probably no older than four when we began. And, every single time, the result would be the same. I have never lost to him. Then again, it's not surprising, with my father of all people backing me…perhaps if Goten's father were alive when he was born, things would have been different, but…still, even if he's never been able to beat me in a fight…
"Ah…ah…oh…no more…Trunks-kun…Trunks-kun!! I'm coming!! I'm going to—"
His hand tightens and he spasms sharply. I can feel him, breathlessly screaming as I press deeper inside him still, just as his warm stickiness sprays across my stomach and chest. I laugh softly. Even though he's never been able to beat me in a fight, he can always get me like this.
I cringe as his climax continues to pulse through him, his muscles clamping down tightly around me.
"Go…Goten…"
No longer feeling the need to restrain myself for his sake, I grab his hips and pull him up against me tightly. I can only shudder as I slide deeper inside of him, struggling to hold on to my sanity at the mercy of this remarkable boy.
"Go…ten…I…"
I feel my muscles tighten and constrict all of a sudden, unable to control my scream as they release like a spring-loaded toy. I move my hands from his hips to his shoulders and pull him against me, crushing my mouth over his. His hand soothes over my back lovingly as I kiss him, spilling myself inside his body. Breathless, I pull away, staring into the charcoal eyes of the boy below me.
"Goten…love…you…"
Whispering his name and brushing my hand against his cheek is all I can do before I collapse, completely exhausted. My head falls to rest against his chest and I pull out of him with the last ounce of my strength. Only one thought penetrates my mind when I feel him wrap his arms tightly around me in a warm embrace before I fall into a soft sleep…
Beautiful.
…
When I wake up, he's still there, underneath me with his arms around me. Just as he was. His face is like an angel's as he sleeps, breathing softly in and out. He seems so calm and relaxed now…nothing like the frantic, mad boy whose body was thrashing underneath mine such a short time ago. I imagine the picture we make here like this; his arms around me, my face resting against his chest, exhausted…as if he's protecting me. Generally, I feel as if I'M supposed to protect HIM, to shield him and keep him safe…I suppose he feels the same, running to me for comfort whenever something is wrong, crying on my shoulder. It doesn't matter to me, though. As long as he needs me to protect him, I'll always be there. I'll always be his shield.
And yet, truthfully…
Truthfully I feel like it's really ME who needs to be protected.
It's so unusual. However, I suppose, it only makes sense…he's always so bright and cheery, full of life…carefree, happy-go-lucky Goten. He's always been like that. Which is why it's even more unnerving that he's like a completely different person during sex…
Day by day, he acts like that. Like a giddy little boy bouncing off the walls, and yet, somehow, he still manages to be in control. Even though he acts as a follower, usually letting me take the lead when we go off on an adventure or get into a fight, I really know that he's in complete control. People have always said since we were little boys that I was just the slightest bit the stronger of us two. But honestly, there's no one I'd rather have covering me in a fight than Goten. And in that same way, I feel like I need his protection. Maybe he doesn't even realize he's doing it, but honestly, he's the leader of our group. He's the strongest and most level headed of us all—not me. He'll never back down and never give in. In all honesty, I envy him.
And yet, during sex…
He's so completely and utterly submissive that I sometimes look at him and wonder how this is the same boy; the same Goten that's always fighting by my side. Within seconds he melts under my touch, letting me do whatever I want to him. Anything. He'll let me drive him mad, to the brink and to the point where he'd die without me inside of him. And on the same token, I'll do anything to comply. Nothing pleases me more than giving him pleasure. Nothing. In fact, I rarely even let him touch me…as far as I'm concerned it's all about him. Just knowing that he's so willing to submit to me is enough.
It makes me wonder, though. Times like this…lying here with him, his arms wrapped so tightly around me, protecting me…
Does he feel like me?
Saiyajin instinct. I know it must drive him as much as me, but it has to be more than that. I've never really stopped to consider how truly different we both are during sex. When I make love to him, I go crazy; lose my mind. I have to do all I can to sustain my willpower and not just take him for all he's worth. That's why I say that I turn into a beast; that my Saiyajin instincts inside me reach a point where they threaten to consume me. And yet, at the same time, I look at him…submitting to me so completely, and yet remaining in complete control of himself…somehow, he manages to hold onto his rationality through it all, and it makes me feel like he's actually the boss…and that, if not for him, I truly WOULD go insane.
How can he manage to stay himself at a time like that?
It makes me wonder even more. We're so different, he and I. But maybe that's not the only reason. I truly think he's stronger than me, and much more in control at times like that. Being in his position, I honestly don't know if I could handle it. It scares me a little, but it drives my curiosity. And it REALLY makes me wonder.
What would it be like if I let HIM dominate ME?
I guess…it really IS somewhat of an…intriguing thought. Something about it excites me to imagine, for reasons I don't understand. For even though I've always focused on his pleasure above all else, there has always been one boundary we've yet to cross. I'll give him everything he could possibly want, and more. Anything to make him feel good. The one rule is that I won't submit.
There's always been a matter of pride involved. I guess you could say I get that from my father. The thought of submitting, to me, feels like it would be robbing me of my freedom, my control. Besides that, it's always sort of scared me. I would never admit it, but I'm sure on some level he knows. The idea of being submissive during sex…being who I am as a person, I'm honestly not sure if I could handle it. It just feels like it would be too different. I'd be too ashamed; too afraid to relinquish my control.
But when I look at him…he's more in control than I am…would I really be relinquishing?
My role was pretty clear when he and I first began our physical relationship. I knew that he was a virgin, so I naturally had to take the lead. Besides, my role in the act itself wouldn't be much different with Goten than when I had previously slept with girls. So, we just sort of fell into our respective roles and never gave it any thought. Besides, since his first experience was with me, he only knew it one way. He only knew what it felt like to submit. So, since he never questioned it, I was fine with the way things were. As long as he never asked me if he could be dominant, we would be content to stay the way we were.
In that way, I had never even put that much thought into it.
But it really made me wonder, as I started to have these thoughts, lying here with him. So, after that night, I found myself thinking about it more and more. I finally decided.
I had to know what it was like.
Just once. Just once I wanted to know how it felt. There'd always been apprehension as far as some pain, but then again, there had to be SOMETHING about it that felt good enough to get him to moan and scream like that…I was a bit curious. But even moreso than that, I didn't care what it felt like physically. That wasn't what prompted me to deciding to go through with it.
I wanted to know. If he were in my position…could Goten feel like me?
I had to know. If he was dominant, would he get affected by those same feelings after all? Those same emotions that send me spiraling out of control, turning me into that carnal beast? Or would he be the same as always, just Goten? And what about me? If I were to submit to him…would I keep my rationality?
The idea really started to intrigue me…so I had to know.
The next weekend, my parents went out, as usual. So, like always, I called him over. Naturally, he was expecting sex, since we would usually do it when my parents were away, and he came over right away, eager as usual.
We went straight upstairs and into my bedroom, where he began to undress at an alarming speed. It made me laugh a bit, the hurry he was in. It also made me even more anxious to try out my idea, so, I figured it was as good a time as any to ask.
"Say, Goten…"
He pauses shedding his clothes, tossing his shirt casually on the floor and looking up at me innocently.
"Hn? What's up Trunks-kun? Are you not in the mood tonight? Cuz that's fine, we can do somethin' else if ya want. I brought video games."
He grins. Typical Goten. I take a deep breath before I go ahead and ask him.
"No, it's not that, it's just…what would you say…if tonight…"
I look up at him, making sure the look in my eyes is serious.
"I let YOU dominate ME for a change?"
His reaction is, to say the least, confused. He stops short of unbuttoning his pants, his hands dropping to his sides as he turns to face me.
"Are…are you really serious, Trunks-kun?
I can only nod in response, a bit embarrassed. A slight blush creeps across his face at the image that I'm certain he's picturing in his head. His hand comes back to rub the back of his head, a bit flustered.
"Well, I…uh…I don't even think I'd know what to DO, I mean…well, what if I'm no good?"
I close my eyes and chuckle at the modest remark before moving behind him. My breath is warm on the back of his neck, my hand running up along his smooth chest as I whisper seductively into his ear.
"Just follow your instincts…I'm sure you'll be fine…"
I feel him shudder against me. Dammit. We haven't even begun yet and I've already fallen into my usual role, I note, as he tenses, growing increasingly hard under my touch. I curse myself as heat begins to pool between my own legs and I'm hit with my usual intense desire to be inside of him. I force myself to back away and cool down to prevent tonight from being another of the usual. A small whimper of disappointment arises from his throat as I back off, moving it sit on the bed. Still, he feigns a smile and turns to face me.
"So…what do I DO, exactly? I mean…I KNOW…basically…I guess…I mean I know what YOU usually do, but it's not like—"
"Goten!!"
He quiets down abruptly, looking at me with a slight grimace.
"Just start with some foreplay. As for the rest, we'll get to it when we get to it."
"R-right…"
Nodding unsurely, he moves to stand in front of me on the bed.
"Um…now what?"
A bead of sweat trickles down his embarrassed face. I slap my forehead, consumed by the utter disbelief that even Goten could be so clueless.
"Just DO something!! Whatever you want, Goten!! You shouldn't have to ASK me!!"
"Well I'm SORRY!!! I've never DONE this before, y'know!!"
"Well, SHEESH, man!! I think you'd at least have SOME kind of instinct or common sense or SOMETHING!! I mean, it's SEX, it's not ROCKET SCIENCE!! I mean, come on!! Here I am, submitting myself to you, letting you do whatever you w—"
I'm cut off as he leans forward and presses his mouth against mine with an aggression he doesn't often show. My lips part under his when his tongue insistently fights for entry, quickly taking the opening to find my own to spar with. It feels GOOD…I'd never realized how good a kisser Goten was, since he'd usually let me be the one to kiss him. Yet, as his tongue begins tenderly exploring the interior of my mouth, caressing the insides of my cheeks gently, and I feel his hand move up underneath my T-shirt…I soon regret always being so quick to take initiative over him.
After a few moments we part, reluctantly, gasping for breath. I'm a bit shocked…panting harder than I would have expected from just a simple kiss. I sit up; desperate to regain my composure…Goten, however, has other plans. Before I can move to counter them he's straddling my lap, his face buried in the crook of my shoulder. I can't hold in the involuntary moan that arises in my throat as he begins grinding his hips against mine, his tongue trailing the juncture of my neck and shoulder. My hands find their way into his hair as I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer…craving more contact, and relishing in the feel of his mouth against my skin.
It's certainly a new feeling. Since I'm always so eager to please HIM; to touch him and taste him and make him moan and beg until his body is writhing underneath mind in pure unbridled ecstasy…it's always been me to do these things to him. I've never had the favor returned to me before, and to be honest, I hadn't even realized that it could feel this good. No wonder it always makes him melt into a puddle of goo when I do this to him…he's a fast learner, I dully note, a bit too distracted to put much more thought into it than that.
"Nnnn…"
My eyes widen…I can't believe that sound just came out of me. No…that he MADE that sound come out of me. He growls low in his throat, tearing my shirt off with a grunt of frustration before flinging it to the floor, his mouth trailing lower still as he continues to kiss and lick down the expanse of my chest. I notice that I've clenched my eyes shut…how long ago? I only have a moment to consider it before he takes my nipple between his teeth, sending a wave of pleasure shooting straight downward and causing all coherent thought to flee my mind.
So caught up am I by the attentions of his mouth on me that I've barely noticed his hands working deftly to unbutton my pants. I hiss through my teeth when he guides free first my erection, then his own, before returning to grinding us together. The result is intense; the feeling of his hard flesh rubbing against my own as his mouth trails lower, dipping his tongue into my belly button and sending a spine-tingling shiver through my entire body.
Gods…When did Goten learn this much self-control?
"Go…Goten…"
I can't believe he's having such an incredible effect on me. I draw a sharp intake of breath as he moves to kneel before me, eye-level with my weeping erection.
"You've never let me do this to you before…"
He mutters it in a low voice before drawing his tongue up around the tip. I gasp, trying desperately to control my breath to the point where I can speak to reply.
"What are you…talking about? You've…sucked me off…plenty of times before…"
"Yeah, but…"
I look down at him with half-lidded eyes as he continues to lick a trail down my shaft. A playful grin spreads across his face before he takes me wholly into his mouth—a GRIN. Never had I imagined that I'D be the one left gasping for breath and that he'd be the one sadistically toying with me, like his own personal plaything.
His eyes fall shut as he begins sucking on me gently. I can't help but toss my head back at the pressure, the incredible feeling only intensified by my being already driven to the brink by his previous attentions. I moan softly, giving into the feeling as his lips clamp down on me. I shudder…I can't hold it in any longer, but as I open my mouth to alert him, no sound comes out. He moves back, letting me slip almost completely out of his mouth before pulling me back in roughly—and that's when I lose it. My eyes clench shut and my body tenses as I shake with completion, filling his mouth with my release. For a moment, I'm completely breathless, looking down and finding myself unable to look away as he laps away all traces of it, raising his head to grin devilishly up at me.
"What I was SAYIN' was, even though you've let me suck you off before…"
His tongue comes out to lick my taste off his lips, the sight sending an aftershock of pleasure rushing through me.
"You've never let me FINISH."
He grins, and I have only mere seconds to catch my breath before he's on me again, wasting no time in attacking my mouth with his own. I grunt into the kiss, tasting my essence that's still lingering on his lips. His hands slide down to my waist, finally removing completely the pants that are in the way. I groan when his fingers ever so slightly trail along the inside of my thigh, my body tensing as I feel myself already becoming hard again. He grins slyly and leans over, licking playfully at my ear and the side of my neck. Man. For someone claiming to be so 'inexperienced' in this area, he's pretty Damn good, I think.
Should've known. While dominance was always far from his nature, and this side of him is having a more surprising effect on me than I could have guessed, still, Goten has always been the very determined type. Once he sets his sights on having something, he won't stop until he gets it. Generally, it had always been kid stuff; candy, toys, typical Goten. Still, no matter how much he was told 'no' by his mother or his brother, or even my own mother when he came shopping with us, he wouldn't give up. He'd do whatever it took to get that chocolate bar or that robotic dinosaur, and he was known throughout all the major retail stores in West Capitol for his world-class temper tantrums. Eventually, the adults would just cave and give the kid whatever he wanted—and I think that he was probably more content with having gotten his way than he was the actual toy, in the end. Were most kids like that? Maybe it wasn't that unusual, after all. Still, to me, who grew up with everything I could ever want, it seemed that way. I never had to resort to the same type of clever trickery as him. Sure, not the brightest crayon in the box, but Goten always had certain things of which he was good at…I guess it shouldn't have surprised me so much, then. From the second I offered myself to him, Goten saw an opportunity to get a hold of something he'd never had before, but, like so many toys from the years gone by, probably secretly wanted. And here I always though he was my submissive, obedient little Chibi.
Clever bastard.
"A-aaaah!! G-Goten!!!!"
I gasp at the sudden pressure at the same time I feel him grinning against my skin. Suddenly, and rather unexpectedly, his fingers have found their way a little lower, now brushing against my opening. The sensation is a bit…well, unusual. Different. Definitely not BAD, but not particularly GOOD, in the same sense. Though perhaps it was like any first experience. Having never been touched there before, the feeling was a bit more foreign than anything else outright. I chuckle a bit. I hadn't even stopped to consider it, but in this sense, I really was a 'virgin', wasn't I? The thought never occurred to me, but there it was. I was giving myself up sexually in a way I'd never done before, after all. I've never felt it from this side before. In that sense, I was, infact, a virgin.
Well, looks like I'm about to find out the answer to ONE of my questions after all. So THIS must have been what it felt like to be Goten our first time.
"Don't tense up too much, Trunks-kun. I promise I'll be gentle."
Heh. Probably the same exact thing I said to him back then, too.
"Nnngh…"
I cringe at the slight pressure as he pushes a finger inside of me. Thinking back to the countless times I'd done this to him, and now feeling it from the other side…Between all the thoughts and feelings racing through my head, and the physical stimulation, feeling these things…being in Goten's shoes…it certainly was an enlightening experience, to say the least.
"I know, I know…it's gonna hurt a little at first, trust me, I know…but, well, you know how it works. I gotta prepare you first."
I nod, biting back the urge to tell him to stop as he inserts another finger. It really did hurt, much more than I had expected, but then again, this WAS virgin territory for me. And to think he lets me do this to him all the time, without even the slightest show of pain on his face…And just as I'm about to wonder why; wonder how in the WORLD having me inside him like this can possibly feel good in ANY way, I receive my answer without even having to ask.
"Aaaah…Aaaaaah!!!!"
In a split second I went from pain to…well, to something I honestly don't know how to begin describing. In the instant that he added a third finger, he HIT something…something inside me that just made everything else inside my head shatter like so much broken glass. A truly indescribably pleasure I couldn't have possibly imagined…it felt so DIFFERENT from anything I'd ever experienced, and yet, at the same time, so good that it made me wonder WHY I'd always been so reluctant to be touched in such a place…I lean forward, bracing myself on his shoulders as he continues to stroke that spot inside of me, sweat veritably dripping off my face as I desperately struggle to remember how to breathe.
"Go…Goten…What did you…"
He smiles innocently as he removes the fingers and pulls away, planting a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"See? That wasn't so bad now, was it?"
"You…Gods, Goten…that was…"
I pant hard, still feelings tingles where his fingers were only seconds ago.
"Well, ya didn't think I'd just let you plow me every night if it didn't FEEL good, didja?"
He grins, rubbing the back of his head modestly. I fall forward again, burying my face in his shoulder and pulling him tighter against me.
"Please…Goten…Do that again…"
Never in my life did I think that I'D be the one begging HIM.
"I think I can do better than that, Trunks-kun…"
With that, he pushes me flat on my back on the bed, moving to straddle my legs with his own. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer down to me, kissing him frantically. His hands move to my waist, arching my body up to meet his as he kicks off his shoes and lets his jeans slip off him onto the floor. Pressing the entire length of his body against mine, he grinds us together again, nipping at my mouth and down to my neck. My head flies back and I gasp for more, craving more contact…more Goten. I never imagined it could feel like this…Letting him be in control of me so completely, focusing his attention so fully on my pleasure…And me, flat on my back, writhing underneath him and begging for more…we've truly traded places tonight.
I think I would have laughed at the notion, had I not been so busy trying to remember my own name.
"Trunks-kun…"
He whispers in my ear, ever so slightly sliding his body lower. My eyes widen a bit when I feel his hardness press up against my opening, knowing exactly what he's craving—generally, when it's me in this position, this is around the time when I start to lose my mind.
"Before I go any further, I need to be sure that this is what you want…"
Flashbacks, again. Our first time. Hearing him say to me the very things I had said to him back then…it's as if I'm watching a playback video of our first time, only this time, through his eyes…I nod in response, assuring him that I'm ready to continue. I have to see how the rest of this video plays out, I tell myself…truthfully, I feel like I'd betraying his trust were I to say no, but even more than that…more than anything, I want to continue. I have to know what it feels like. I need to know what he feels when I make love to him. His body…no. More than anything…his heart.
"I'm sure, Goten…"
He looks down at me, deep concern flooding his eyes.
"You're absolutely ready for this, then? Because—"
"Goten!!!"
I grab his shoulders and pull him down to me, my mouth meeting his in a soft kiss. As we part, I smile up at him, looking into his eyes.
"I'm sure. More than anything in the world. I want to know what it feels like…from the other side."
He smiles back, nodding silently in response. Gently, his hands move lower and grip my hips firmly as he lines himself up.
"OK. This will hurt at first, Trunks-kun, but please, bear with the pain. I'll make you feel better…I promise."
Before I have the chance to open my mouth and reply, he grabs my hips tightly and pulls me up to him just as he slowly pushes inside. My heads flies back at the pressure; the pain, again, this time even more intense than before. Only the tip is inside, and still, it hurts more than anything I've ever experienced…admittedly, more than even my father's strongest attack, or a blow from Majin Buu…this searing pain is almost unbearable. I clench my teeth, determined to power through it; it WILL feel better, I assure myself. Just as it had when he used his fingers, and besides…I know Goten would never let me be hurt.
"Gods…Trunks-kun…"
That's right…part two of my question. I force my eyes open to look up at him, needing to see his face…granted, I've never looked at myself in a mirror while having sex with Goten, but I'm almost certain…this is not how I look.
Instinct. Urge, desire, carnal hunger…all the emotions and feelings that overtake me when I make love to him. That feeling that I so desperately try to overpower and yet am unable to; the feeling that forces me to control my humanity lest I stop restraining myself and just take my lover for all he's worth…
It's not there.
Nothing. Not a trace of that animalistic glare in his eyes, nor do I feel that same sadistic aura that constantly threatens to devour me from him…nothing. I blink and look again. Still nothing. Only Goten. The same warm loving face of the boy I love…truly, he never fails to amaze me. Even in such a state…experiencing the very thing that drives me mad with desire…he manages to hold onto himself, to keep his rationality.
"Go…ten…"
At the sound of his name, he opens his eyes, faintly, looking down at me. He smiles…I can't help but smile back, raising a hand up to stroke the side of his face…Goten. My Goten. I'd barely even noticed that he's completely seated inside me now. Unbelievable…already, I feel the pain fading, growing used to the slow, gentle movements of his body. He's merely rocking his hips, now. Clearly holding back for my sake, not wanting to hurt me…It's incredible; a feat with which I have to struggle with every fiber of my being coming so naturally to him, so calmly…There's no doubt in my mind. Everyone's always said I was the stronger of us two…no. I'm almost certain. There is no way I could ever be as strong as he is.
"Goten…please…"
I take hold of his hand, guiding it slowly to my own erection. He blinks in confusion, looking down at me.
"You don't...have to hold back…Goten…please…"
Beads of sweat roll down his face as he gazes into my eyes, unsure. Ever so slowly he begins to move his hand up and down, stroking me softly…I moan, a sound I'm still unused to hearing from myself, as I arch my body up to meet his.
"Please, Goten…"
He sighs in resignation, sensing my own feelings. No. More than that, I'm certain he knows my feelings…just as I know what he's experiencing right now; he knows what it's like to be where I am. Nodding in compliment, his other hand tightens on my waist and he begins driving into me.
It's incredible. Truly, nothing compared to this; not even being inside him was the same. That's not to say it felt worse, nor that it felt better…no, it's incredible on a completely different level. The heat…the heat isn't much different than it is from the other side, but it's more than that…the feeling of this heat, this incredibly hot hardness buried inside me…radiating heat. Something…unbelievable…the feeling of that heat stroking my insides; never could I have possibly imagined that it would feel this good.
"Nnn…Goten…"
Before I even realize what I'm doing, my body is moving with his, thrusting myself up to meet his every move, craving the feeling of him sliding deeper inside of me. As I move, even better than the feeling of him buried inside of me are the sounds he makes in response.
"Aaah…Trunks-kun…"
Screaming my name…truly, no different than when he's writhing beneath me, but somehow…coupled with the sight of his face, sheened with sweat, the feel of his hand stroking me in time with his increasingly deep thrusts…those same sounds seem somehow completely different on a whole other level, and I can't help myself from letting my own mouth fall open and join in the chorus.
"Chibi…don't…stop it…"
Amazing…I'm gasping for breath, feeling as though I'm drowning in this ocean of pleasure, choking on this incredible feeling…Just when I feel as though I'll die if it possibly gets any better, he thrusts deeper still, striking that same place inside my body that his fingers found earlier. Forgetting everything about myself; everything other than this intense feeling…I lose control…
"Gods…Goten…More…more…m…"
Frantic, my hands grip his shoulders, sliding down to his waist as far as I can possibly reach and pulling him closer; needing him to hit that spot again, needing him do go deeper, as deep as he can possibly go, to have as much of him inside me as humanly possible. I force my eyes open to look up at him…
And that's when I lose all sense of myself.
The sight of him above me, taking me this way…and yet, still, the pleasure contorted on his face no different than usual. I'd like to consider it more, to wonder how in the world this amazing boy manages such a thing, holding onto himself in such a condition…unfortunately, my ability to think has since been thrown out the window. At a time like this, even more than usual, all I can do is feel…
"No…Goten…can't…going to…"
I toss my head back; the last action I'm able to perform before my entire body goes limp. My hands remain tight on his waist, holding him closer, deeper inside of me. I can feel his hand tighten around my erection as it spasms, shooting my release along his stomach and chest and dripping down through his still stroking fingers. I feel like I'm screaming, but I can't even hear my own voice as his grip tightens on my hips, holding me closer to him still.
I look up at him, struggling to keep my eyes open and glued to his form…one look and, even though I'm exhausted, I can't look away. His own eyes are clenched shut...his mouth hanging open, my name spilling from his lips in ecstasy. Still shaking with my own climax, I feel him convulse inside me as he thrusts in one final time. Within seconds I feel his own release as he empties himself inside me, clinging tight to my waist and struggling to hold himself up.
"Aaahn…oh…Trunks-kun…so…good…"
Unable to keep himself up any longer, he collapses on top of me, kissing me deeply and, with the last ounce of his strength, pulling out of my body. I feel drained; like my very bones have melted and all I can do is lie there and be kissed by him…Man…how in the world does he handle this? This, somehow, more exhausting than my usual position…I'm unsure of why that is, or perhaps, that it's only my imagination, and it's really no more exhausting than normal…but as I lie here, once again feeling the warmth of his arms wrapped around me, his warm breath on the back of my neck as he buries his face in my shoulder…
I realize I'm over thinking it. I breathe a deep sigh, wrapping my own arms around his waist and holding him closer before we both fall into a deep sleep.
…
As usual, I awake later that night to the amazing feeling of his arms around me, sleeping like an angel as he always is. I smile, reaching up to brush a lock of hair from his face before lightly kissing him on the temple.
"Nnn…Trunks-kun…"
I laugh to myself as he says my name in his sleep, shifting and hugging me tighter to him.
"Mm…more…don't stop…harder…"
I can't help but chuckle inwardly at the subject matter of Goten's dream. Sounds like I'm dominating him quite nicely in the Land of Nod, and it strikes me funny comparing it to our positions mere hours ago. I sit up, shifting him lower so his head is lying against my chest as I run a hand through his hair.
"Well, tonight was fun, Chibi, and we'll have to be sure to do it this way again sometime…"
I smile down at him, listening to the soft moans and gasps of my name in response to what the dream versions of us are doing right now.
"But for now, I guess we'll return to the usual swing of things."
I sigh, lying back down on the bed and stroking his hair softly. To me, there is no longer a question of dominance or submission. Only of Goten and Trunks.
And as long as I've got him by my side, I think I'm OK with that.
-END-