Welcome to the Mary Sue Patrol.

Here I will bring you the best of transfer students, Harry's twin, Malfoy's secret sister, abused girls with coloured hair and striking beauty and unusual names.

Here is where I cut the crap and show the absolute horror and extreme hilarity of some of the stories infesting Harry Potter FanFiction.

Flames are extremely welcome.

Enjoy.

11/10/2010

The Tale of Civia Potter by

Direct Quotes- Civia Potter—the heir of the Potter family, aunt of the Boy Who Lived, member of the Order of the Phoenix, and one of the best Potions Masters or Mistresses alive.

The door opened, and a woman stepped into the office. Had it been during the school year, one might think her to be a student, perhaps as young as third year. The young woman was barely five feet tall, but it complemented her petite frame. She was slim, with tiny features—nearly bony wrists, slim, delicate but precise hands, a slight waist, round hips, and a modest, but suitable, bosom. Messy, jet black curls, which had escaped the plait down her back, framed a thin face, which emphasized sharp, high cheekbones and small, straight nose.

Hidden behind slim, rectangular glasses, which looked as if they belonged to a librarian, were a pair of piercing, keenly intelligent lavender eyes—the same color as wisteria flowers.

She was youthful—both in looks and age, but more so in looks. Although thirty-six, the woman retained a youthful look which belonged in the face of a student, instead of one who had graduated nearly a score of years ago, despite the somber look to her eyes—eyes like she had seen and experienced too much—eyes of someone haunted by their past.

Lavender eyes? I wonder which gene pool she was from?

Moving on…

No Way Out by livelifetothefullest4e

Sixteen year old Larisa Helena Rei lay motionless on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression. Her long white hair with a black streak in the bangs was tied into a ponytail and pulled off to the side so it draped over her right shoulder. Her mismatched eyes, a blue left eye, and a red right eye with a slash over it, were both misty, yet devoid of any emotion. Slowly, she reached up to brush a loose hair out of her face. Her left sleeve fell slightly as she rose her arm, revealing the Dark Mark branded on her arm. She kept her eyes off of it as she lowered her arm back to her side, then continued to stare up at the ceiling.

Once again a strange genetic abnormality…

Mysterious Last Name by Leanora

Summary- A girl with long, black hair with blond-white streaks in it is attending Hogwarts. She goes by the name of Lyra M. But who is she exactly? And what secrets is she hiding?

I can't even be bothered to read the first chapter…

The Purple Butterfly by QueenOfSparrabeth

Summary-Kat is beautiful, smart, and talented, but can she find true love? Written by ThatCTYgirl, QueenOfSparrabeth, QuietInsomniac, Mr. Doctor Evil Mark, and Nigel.

Now I went to read the chapter and realised with relief that this story was actually a mary sue parody! Yays!

Read- Crystal Butterfly Saphire Darknes Destini Hope Angel Katrina was a vampire/princess/pirate/demon/ninja/alien/wizard, and she was more bauetiful then anyon in teh hole universe. Her hairwas naturaly blue,and it was as purty as teh oshun. Her eyes were emehrald green, but they changed colors accordin too her mood. When she was angary they were red like rubyz. When she was sadd they were blu like saphirez. When she was hapy they turnd all teh colors of teh rainbow!1! She was very skinny, but had curvs in all teh write places. She stil had som scarz from when she was abused as a young grl sometimes she cutt herself but the cuts heel rly fast bcuz she is magik. When she cries, she cries sparkly crystal tears. She usually wore one of her thousands of dresses, but secretly underneath she wore skinny jeans and a my chemical romance teeshirt (authors note: MCR 4eva!1). one day she decided to go to the galactic space mall, where she saw Edwurd Cullin and Hary Pooter. They were both in lurve wit her bcuz she was so bootiful. But she cant deside witch one she luvs more. Harry potre falls down on one nee and said "Kristal Buterfli Sapire Darknex Destiny Hop Angel Katrina u r so fing beuatiful." Crystal Butterfli Sapphyre Darknexx destiny Hope Angel Katrina sayed "call me cat. You guyz r both so hawtt I lov yous. Edword said Kat mary me!1!" and then Harri says NO! she is mine I luv her!111!1

Please go and read the rest, it truly is a work of art.

I went on search and typed in "Beauty" and "Talents", and searched for summaries containing these words.

BOOK3: Julia by Marj123 Summary- Harry's daughter, Julia, was beautiful, highly intelligent, and very talented. She also had a desire for power over others.

Defenses by SeaSparrow Summary-There is a new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. She's beautiful, and the most talented Auror of the century. Harry and Ron are crazy for her. Hermione and Ginny are jealous and play matchmaker: Setting her up with Severus Snape.

MarySue comes to Hogwarts by Rinnington Summary-What happens when the most beautiful, intelligent, and talented American Exchange student turns out to be Harry's long lost twin? He wants her dead, of course

Harry Potter and the Seer by mleegirl42 Summary-Harry Potter meets a new Hogwarts student after his 5th year who is hiding a secret about her past. Extremely beautiful, she has more talents then most, but things happen that raise the question Is she really a friend or foe.

Love,Life and Death by Linkin4life Summary-James didn't fall for Lily, instead he fell for her best friend the most beautiful, smart, talented witch, Ruby Oakley, it's a shame she hates him. From the start of their lives at Hogwarts to their last year to grown up with danger around every corner.

That's All for today folks! I hope you enjoyed! All of the stories mentioned can be found FanfictionDOTnet

Reviews are welcomed, especially flames.