Story By: Jacqui
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended, all characters belong solely to the creator, Watsuki Nobuhiro-sensei. I am merely 0.1% of the population of Kenshin fans out there, this is how I'm showing my appreciation for Nobuhiro-sensei's genuinely imaginative work. ^_^
Note 1: As many of you have probably noticed, if you've seen the OAV, Kenshin's eyes were closed when his sword went through Tomoe's back. He only opened them moments after he had struck her. This also was the case in the manga, from what I have analyzed. I watched the scene on tape and stared at the scene in the manga over and over and over again, and I can't figure any other conclusion. His eyes were shut when he stabbed Tomoe from behind when trying to get to Tatsumi. Now. What if they weren't shut and Kenshin, as well as Tatsumi, had anticipated their own actions and Tomoe's? In other words: what if Tomoe never died? Yeah, I'm sure everyone has wondered that at some point after seeing or reading about her death. Here's my take on it. ^_^
Note 2: The Japanese reference is at the bottom. I came up with a new way to make it easier when reading. Go to the end of the story, copy the translations, and paste them into a notepad or wordpad document, and then make it so both the story and the translations fit on the screen so you won't have to go up and down to look for meanings. OR, you can just open the story again in another window, and scroll to the end. Much easier. When a word comes up that you don't understand, look to the other window for translation, and you won't lose your place! ^_^
Characters Involved:
Himura Kenshin
Yukishiro Tomoe
Yukishiro Enishi
Tatsumi
"Even a coldblooded killer isn't impervious to love. Now his weak point...has become you; and now he is on his way here for you. But his mind is in turmoil, having found out that his lover was the spy. Because of that...he cannot fight with his true power..." Tatsumi's words pounded against Tomoe's heart, along with all the painful truth and reality they carried. She knew it was because of her that he was in this predicament, but she couldn't quite find the strength to admit to herself that she would have to be his way out of it. Her back was still to the door, Tatsumi had left only seconds ago to meet her young lover as he arrived to take her back with him. She knew he was right, it was destiny that they had come to love one another. As she turned her body and rose to a complete stand, she moved toward the cabin's slightly open door. Tiny waves of pure white snow were gently flowing through the small opening as Tomoe's hand rested on the splintering doorframe. As she watched Kenshin's form become visible in between the rain of snow and wind, the darkness of her eyes grew bigger. Anata, why are you here? He's going to kill you... Her thoughts trailed off as she watched and listened to Tatsumi threaten the end of Kenshin's life.
"Your condition...it seems you used every ounce of your strength simply to make it here. Even for Battousai, having nothing to protect makes fighting a lot harder. From the beginning, you had nothing to protect, unlike us." Kenshin could hardly think straight, he could depend on nothing but his sword for strength and destination. As his hands held tightly to the hilt of his sword, his breathing came in hard, pain-laced gasps. He knew this man was right, his most important senses were definitely hindered. He would have to rely on whatever he had left, at least whatever would help his growing lack of judgement. "By order of the government, as leader of the Yaminobu, I shall put an end to this here. And I will also avenge my men...because I could not protect them!" Tatsumi then began to run almost full force toward Kenshin's bent form.
Kenshin could do nothing but base his attack on the last thread of hearing and sight that he had. As he watched Tatsumi come closer and closer, Kenshin fell to his knees; holding the sheath of his sword with one hand, and the hilt with his other hand.
Tomoe's thoughts raged as she watched the beginning of their battle, her heart caught in a storm of unrelenting torment and helplessness.
When Tatsumi was only feet from him, Kenshin's hand tightened on the hilt of his katana and he wrenched it from its sheath; only to guide it through empty air.
But before he could gain his energy back up for another attack, Tatsumi's fist met Kenshin's jaw with lightning speed; causing Kenshin's already injured body to falter backward. Although Tatsumi's fist had power behind it, Kenshin kept his balance.
Four more blind strikes; each one missed. Kenshin took a deep breath, bringing his katana up toward Tatsumi's neck.
A perfect block with Tatsumi's well armored wrist, and he pulled his right leg up so that his knee slammed hard into the side of Kenshin's face.
As the red-headed warrior spun backwards and landed face first into the searing blanket of snow behind him, Tomoe watched from afar. Her heart sank when she heard him moan in pain as his small body hit the ground with a deafening thud.
Anata...what can I do? Tomoe's lithe body slowly dropped to the floor as she covered her ears; like she expected everything to simply go away. Her body rested against the doorframe of the small cabin where she was being held captive.
She turned just in time to see the shadowed form of her fiancee, Kiyosato Akira. She looked at him at first with surprise, then her eyes softened as she gazed at him. His gi and hakama were stained with blood. Blood which drained from his mouth, the gash across his abdomen, and the sword wound in his neck. He held one single haku baikou blossom in his hand. She felt paralyzed as she stared at the silent, deceased vision of the man whom she was set to marry. He looked so at peace, as if everything in the universe had finally made sense to him. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but the look on his face told her something completely different. His expression told her that she had to set aside all that she wanted, just one more time. It was necessary so that she could do what must be done. She finally understood, she had to protect him; the man who vowed to protect her. Tomoe nodded slightly in acceptance of her new and silently given mission. Akira's attention turned briefly to the frail flower lying in his palm, then back to Tomoe. Before she could blink, her vision was gone, leaving behind the faded red blossom. Tomoe glanced at the remainder of Kiyosato Akira for the last time as it lay on the wooden floor, surrounded by a few other petals; then turned her eyes back to the scene outside.
Tatsumi had claimed a tight grip on the back of Kenshin's gi with one hand, and he pulled the assassin's body up from its rest in the snow. He quickly curled his other hand into a fist and let it fly directly into Kenshin's abdomen.
It wasn't over. Tatsumi quickly released his hold and clasped his hands together, making a somewhat larger fist, and slammed it hard onto the top part of Kenshin's spine.
Kenshin was only able to move his body a few inches from Tatsumi before he felt the man's right arm swing out and push his frail body aside with incredible force. There was still time for a counter attack.
Tatsumi stood ready as Kenshin moved back toward him, swinging the blade of his katana once again at his neck. Another perfect block came once again as Tatsumi threw his arm up in between the sword and his neck.
Kenshin felt the man's wrist curl around his neck as he spun him in a half-circle, then literally threw him toward the ground that had thickened with numbing snow. Kenshin's body rolled into the thick trunk of a tree that lay in his path of release.
When Tomoe heard Kenshin's body hit the ground, and then the firm solid trunk of the tree; she was finally able to admit it to herself. This had to be stopped. And she was the one that would stop it.
The Hitokiri Battousai's actions were a little too modest for the much bigger and less impaired individual he was fighting. As Tatsumi pulled a small dagger from inside his vest, his eyes gleamed as he looked at the blade for a moment; then focused his gaze upon Kenshin.
Kenshin forced every muscle in his body to strain in order to pull himself up, and even then he had to go back to resting his weight on the hilt of his sword. He allowed himself to scream. For all the times he was wronged, for all the times he had wronged, and for every single time he would be wrong and try to correct his wrongs in the future.
With that, Tatsumi and Kenshin both charged toward one another, realizing that the final attack was going to decide their fate.
That's when the flashbacks began their tirade over Kenshin's mind.
"I kill others for the sake of the weak..." The battle with Kiyosato in the alleys of Kyoto, followed by a vision of Tomoe as she arranged a bouquet of wild flowers.
"But because of that, you lost all of your happiness..." Kiyosato's murder...
"I took away everything that was important to you. Without knowing that..." The first time him and Tomoe had embraced...
"I...you..." Kenshin held his sword above his head with one hand, and pulled his other hand up to clench the hilt for a firmer grip.
"I'm not worthy to protect you..." He kept running. They both kept running. "And then...I...you..."
Kenshin fell into a world of remembrance. He heard nothing but Tomoe's voice. "Yes, it sold better than I thought, I'm happy..." He could feel her presence behind him as her delicate, pale hands slipped under the dark red layers of his bangs; covering his eyes. "No, it just looked like you were enjoying your food..."
As he slid his own hands over hers and gently pulled them away, she let her hands fall back. He turned to face her, but saw nothing. Then he began searching the darkness around him, as if he were surprised by her sudden disappearance. "But, I feel terrible..." A wave of her silken black hair came into his view as he turned his attention back behind him.
A cross. "At dusk, I saw some dragonflies..." A large wooden cross, with her blue scarf tied loosely around it and dangling from both wooden arms.
"Tomoe.." Kenshin cleared his conscience as he got ready to make his final attack.
"Kimi...kimi wo...mamoru..." Tatsumi saw something approach from the corner of his eye. The black hair, the pale face, she was going to obstruct his attack.
Kenshin glared at Tatsumi as he let his katana fly up at full force toward the man's heart.
Tomoe managed to reach her hand out and tear the dagger from him, but Tatsumi quickly grabbed the girl's arm in retaliation and flung her aside with twice as much force as he had used with Kenshin.
Although she was out of the way, Kenshin's sword was too heavy and too fast to bring to a complete halt. Instead, Kenshin twisted his blade away from it's primary target and aimed it in the same direction Tomoe was thrown.
The force Tatsumi had used beat that of the force Kenshin used with his sword. Thus, the right side of Tomoe's body met the katana, tearing through her kimono and leaving a deep gash in her flesh as she slid off the blade and hit the small mounds of snow beneath her.
Tatsumi had lost a few seconds worth of good judgement while dealing with Tomoe's half-unexpected attack. Kenshin was going to make use of his quickly receeding time.
As Kenshin tightened his grip around the hilt of his katana once more, he dropped to his knees.
Summoning every last bit of strength he ever had left in every major center in his body, he drove the now bloodied blade of his sword into the left side of Tatsumi's chest.
"I don't...understand...women..." Tatsumi uttered in between gasps for air as his large body fell back into the welcoming carpet of snow. Kenshin had peirced the man's devilish, blackened heart. But that was the last thing on Kenshin's mind now.
In the meantime, Kenshin, who was still on his knees; had pulled himself over toward Tomoe's body, which appeared lifeless. He had driven his sword into the ground, giving it a temporary sheath in the still falling snow. As he eased the top half of her body gently into his lap, he noticed that she still held her dagger. Her blurry eyes looked up into his, recognizing the look of self defeat that gleamed back at her. He felt that she was probably going to die.
Tomoe's voice echoed pain and suffering as she lifted the hand that still held the dagger. She was using her last bit of strength, and it was killing her on the inside. As her eyes squeezed shut, she forced herself to lift the tip of the blade. Then she rested it gently within the first layer of skin, in-line with the first scar on his left cheek. Allowing her eyes to open slightly, she slowly drew the blade diagonally across his skin. Kenshin indulged her action and turned his face in the opposite direction, helping her to complete the cross scar.
"T...Tomoe..?" Kenshin's eyes fluttered closed, then flew back open when he heard her weakened voice reply.
"Gomen...nasai..." tears streamed down her face, "..ana...ta..." He gasped as he watched her hand drop down, and hit the snow softly. It was over. He had failed to fulfill his promise to her. Kenshin wrapped his arms around her, pulling her face closer to him as he bent down closer to her; acting as the shield he knew that she deserved.
From further back in the distance, Tomoe's brother, Enishi, had watched with widened eyes at all that had happened before him. "Onee-chan..." his sister, probably dead, could have survived if things were different. It dawned on him in that moment that the best idea would be to disappear for the time being, then that bastard wouldn't be able to murder him as well. So, with one last look at his sister's immobile body, and a glare of future revenge directed at Kenshin; Enishi quietly slipped within the forest of trees behind him.
How could he let this happen to her? Yukishiro Tomoe, the woman he had vowed more than once to protect...how could he let it happen? As he eyed the blood that was slowly staining his hakama, he felt a sudden air of warmth. It was a very faint air, but it was warm. As he lifted his head, he drew a hand up to Tomoe's lips. Breath. She was still...breathing. Was it possible? He had cut her considerably deep, but maybe--just maybe, not deep enough to kill her immediately.
"Tomoe..?" His eyes darted down to her wound, the thick, rich blood was
oozing slowly but surely. And in this extreme cold, she wouldn't last too much
longer. He noticed that the snow was tainted with the dark red blood of Tatsumi,
Tomoe, and himself. He knew what had to be done if he was going to keep her
alive. If he could do it, if he could keep the faith in himself, then maybe he
could save her life. Just maybe. But that would mean they would have to go the
the nearest town in Otsu, and that would mean risking detection by the Shinsen
Gumi. But what other choices did he have? He couldn't help her himself,
definitely not by himself; he didn't have the training. He had no choice, he had
to take her to the closest town he could find. "Let us go to the first town in
Otsu...as sword and sheath..."
"You're lucky she survived this long. A little longer out there in that cold weather and she would have been done for." An elderly man sat on the opposite side of his dinner table, observing Tomoe's wound with careful hands and gentle eyes. Kenshin's worried gaze moved over Tomoe's body as he absent-mindedly listened here and there to the old man's words. He briefly stared at the blood that covered his hands--it was Tomoe's. He had carried her through what seemed like miles of endless snow, but to have her blood staining his hands...
"Tomoe...onegai..." His pleas went unheard as Tomoe remained unconscious, her face turned toward Kenshin as he held tightly to her left hand.
"Yeeep. This is going to take awhile. This wound is severely deep, it's a good thing you helped clot it with that scarf of yours. Probably stopped her from losing too much blood." Both of their eyes fell on the scarf that hung loosely around her tiny waist. "You know...you look a lot like someone I've heard of before..." the man said nonchalantly, trying to avoid any suspicions from Kenshin.
"Suppose I am. Would that change your decision to try and save Tomoe?" Kenshin shot the man a quick glance of half-suspicion and half-worry.
"Iye, I never said that. I never turn away someone in need of my help, especially someone with an injury such as hers. I was merely--"
"Onegai. Help her first. I will explain myself to you afterwards if that is what you wish." The man looked once at Tomoe, then to Kenshin, and sighed deeply; drawing his attention back to Tomoe completely. Kenshin couldn't stop his mind from wandering. What if she didn't make it? How would he face himself, knowing that he had killed the one he was supposed to protect? However this turned out, he would bring Kyoto to a rightfully deserved peaceful era. He would destroy the Shinsen Gumi for the murdering of his men, and the murder of a possible era that could have come quicker if they had not intruded. Although the Shinsen Gumi weren't completely to blame, they played a good part in everything; and Kenshin knew he had to make them pay for their involvement, no matter how big or small. Time seemed to pass quickly for the three of them, Kenshin didn't even remember falling asleep at Tomoe's side. The elderly doctor worked diligently on the injured woman's body, cleaning, sewing, and sterilizing. It was nearly midnight when the man had finished his job, but he was afraid to wake Kenshin. Considering that he could be right in his suspicions of the red-headed stranger, he carefully inched his way toward the back room so he could get himself some rest.
"Hey," came a husky voice as the doctor felt a hand lightly grip his arm, prohibiting him from going any farther. "Have you finished?" Kenshin asked the man, who had been so clumsy as to bump Kenshin's chair with the heel of his shoe; instantly waking him up.
"Hai. She's going to be fine. But there is one thing, that wound...it was so deep that..." the man trailed off, as if he were trying to figure out a way to explain himself. Kenshin let go of the man's arm, turning his attention back to Tomoe; who was lying on the small table, still unconscious.
"It was so deep that..?" Kenshin's eyes widened as he turned to face the stuttering man, fear rising inside him once again.
"Well, she's going to have a hard time moving for awhile, until some of that bone replentishes itself. It will take time, because her hip bone was slightly knicked in a dangerous area. So you might want to keep her in bed for quite some time..." The man scratched the back of his head lightly, his tone appearing as if he had been through this kind of thing before.
"Arigatou," Kenshin whispered as his eyes dropped back down to Tomoe. "Tomoe...sumanai..." As Kenshin grasped her hand once more, the doctor signed lightly and left the room. Kenshin's thumb lightly stroked the delicate skin of her fingers as he allowed himself to lay his head next to hers on the table. He wouldn't dare risk moving her yet, at least not until he knew how to get her somewhere safer. Her chest rose and fell faintly with her light breathing, she had survived, but just barely. If Tatsumi had never seen her, she would have died back there; maybe he would have died with her. She was too--
"Ana.." Kenshin's eyes had closed, so he thought the word to be only a dream at first. "Ana..ta.." A second time. Kenshin's eyes gently lifted, to his surprise, they met another pair of opened eyes that gazed right back at him.
"T-Tomoe..? D-Daij--"
"Hai." They both stared at one another for the longest time, nothing was able to penetrate through or between them.
"I was worried, you could have..."
"But I didn't."
"I..Tomoe..."
"Shh. Do you think you could..?"
"I-I don't know. The doctor told me not to move you..." Who was he kidding? He knew he wanted to hold her as much as she wanted him to hold her, maybe even more.
"If you're gentle...maybe you can..." Her eyes mirrored the leftover pain she was in, but he knew how much this request meant to her.
"Hai..." Tomoe braced herself as Kenshin slowly eased one arm around her shoulders. Taking time and precision, he eventually pulled her to a sitting position.
"Anata...now you c--" Kenshin's arms were already completely around her. He kept himself from moving her too much from worry that he might break the delicate threading of her stitches. He had protected her, just as he vowed with his own heart. But she had become someone whom he wanted to do more for than just protect, he wanted to show her the love that she had shown to him. Give back what she had taught him, no matter what the cost. As he held her in his strong embrace, she leaned into it; allowing whole heart and soul to run wild with everything she had held from him in the beginning. But those times before, when he mentioned those words to her, the raging torment in their eyes had never been calmed. Not once did their eyes meet in an unbreakable lock when he said those words to her. She wanted him to do it now, now that they were finally able to make it all believable. "Tell me again, anata..." she whispered to him, gently inching her body away from him so that he would get the message.
"Tell you...?" His eyes met hers, and she held them there. The solid captivity of his darkened gaze only made her push him further.
"Tell me what you told me the day we..." she lightly blushed, then her eyes turned away quickly.
"Aah..." Kenshin whispered, he had caught her in her own embarrassment. He slipped his fingers under her chin and pulled her gaze back to him. When their eyes met for the final time, Tomoe and Kenshin both knew that he could say it, and they both could have the faith to believe that it was the real thing.
"Tomoe. Kimi no shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru..."
Unmei No Kajou: Literally means "Fate's Spiral."
Kiyosato Akira: Tomoe's first love, and her fiancee. Kenshin murdered him because he got in the way of his assassination on Shigekura Jubee, a Kyoto administrator during the Genji Period.
Iye: Literally means "no."
Sumanai: Literally means "sorry," a bit more formal or respectful, I think.
Hai: Obviously, this means "yes."
Daijoubu: Can be translated to "it's alright."
Onegai: Literally means "please."
Kimi wo mamoru: Can be translated as "I will protect you."
Anata: Used between lovers and or married couples, "darling" or "you."
Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru: Can be translated as "I will protect your happiness."
Gomen nasai: Literally means "I'm sorry."
1. I know I know. I should have NEVER messed with fate. But hey, I didn't want Tomoe to die, her and Kenshin..in MY opinion...were perfect for each other. So, I kinda shot fate in the head and made the story take another direction. ^_^
2. The way I did this may seem impossible to some readers. Like, "she would have died if Kenshin's sword cut her that deep" or "no one would have seen Tomoe in the first place, so this is totally not believable." Yeah well, that may be the case, but then why do they call it fan 'fiction' if it's unbelievable. Fiction isn't true! Heee! Anything can happen.
3. Seriously though. I wanted to do my own take of what might have happened if Tomoe never died. Both Tatsumi and Kenshin kept her from getting killed, and Kenshin was still able to save the day. I love it. I don't really know if he might have taken Tomoe to Otsu, you know...but what other choices would he have? He definitely couldn't have gone to Kyoto, neither of them would've lasted a minute there. Just think of this story as a really nice alternative ending to the really very sad and dramatic original ending. ^_^
4. I'm adding more chapters to this because I've gotten requests for me to keep going on this storyline. So, I am definitely going to give it a try and see what I can come up with. Reviews are greatly appreciated since they are the tool of guidance I need to let me know if I should keep going with each chapter I complete. ^_^