Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors and Three Kingdoms and Koei don't even own the history and novel, but their games.
A/N: I'm currently working on Chapter 4, so enjoy this solo. It might bore you because nothing big happened here and Zhao Yun is the same broody middle aged guy as he was Post Yi Ling fics with his ROTK 12 DLC outfit aka Snow Dragon armor.(Zhen Ji's STAYS dead to make a point with everything about Three Kingdoms.)
The Boy Who Needs Hope
Zhao Yun's point of view
On my way back to Han Zhong, I remain in Wei territory securing my unit's retreat. Deng Zhi and I rested at a village nearby discussing what happened at Jie Ting. I've been too compromise with other's mistakes. But, after this defeat, I don't know how I truly feel anymore. These men that followed me for more than thirty years began to question their past services under the late Lord.
I've been through that kind of hardship before with Gongsun Zan. This defeat was no different to my conscience long ago. I wanted to pretend that nothing happened, surely act like I agreed with everything Zhuge Liang and the late Liu Bei did, but now I can't. Being old and under pressure regarding to my reputation and service under Liu Chan whom Zhuge Liang made as emperor, I'm frustrated inside.
"Wei's emperor has the will of heaven, Zilong. Surely if he were Liu Bei's son, there wouldn't be any doubters at the council. Do you know how depressing our situation in Shu is? Zhang Yi doesn't want to deal with another law problem while continue escorting the provisions for the chancellor's next move," Deng Zhi's words had interrupted my thoughts.
He's a true friend, incorruptible, wise, and the one who followed me to the end. He's still Zhuge Liang's emissary and is the reason why my trust in Zhuge Liang became strained. Whenever I need a political discussion, he is the one in mind. If only he served Liu Bei earlier…
"Remind me why I don't involve myself in the court after Lord Xuande passed away?." I remember that day after months of the mourning. Zhuge Liang tried to recall me and I refused to answer to him pretending myself sick at my post, but Kongming knew better. He used his majesty Liu Chan to summon me.
ShuHan's emperor was the boy I saved at Changbanpo and it doesn't matter to the rest of this accursed land, "It took Shu's emperor to summon you into the court. I feel for you Zilong, but the court needs you."
Do they Bomiao? They're better off without me. My influence means nothing to them, not anymore. After 8 years of distress, I really just wanted to punch...Cao Pi. He won, I loss.
"I haven't said a single word during Kongming's speech and after we left to war, this happened. Heaven help me if I'm going insane, but I think the chancellor was wrong about trusting Ma Su, wrong about his plan to use me as a decoy to fool Wei's main army because they found out before we retreated. He was also wrong seven years ago, I didn't have to will to argue with him. I never antagonize Kongming in all my life trusting him, is it wrong for me to do so now, Deng Zhi?" I struggle to stay calm like everyday I'd be around others.
No let me rephrase that, I've always remain calm on my entire life. But, it doesn't make a man like myself an interesting individual. A broody old man finally at 60. My men are my youngest brothers.
"If the bird can't sing, make it sing," What Bomiao meant was if I don't answer to Kongming, make Adou answer to me.
His Imperial Highness may not remember that I was the man who let him live. Unfortunately, I couldn't save his sisters. He had to live through being a proxy to Jingzhou and now the acting 'Han' Emperor.
Wei thinks I'm fighting for Liu Chan, they're sadly mistaken. Those soldliers of Wei I killed left me wondering what kind of person Cao Rui is. I wonder is the deposed Han Emperor still alive? That was my reason into participate the Northern Campaign. I was never in the Nanzhong Campaign. Not to waste time with a small matter like Meng Huo who just wanted the Nan people to live right, it's the same we're doing for the Qiang right now under Midang something Ma Yunlu's brother wanted.
"Sitting here in the tavern brought me a lot of memories in the past. Not with Liu Bei, but with someone I miss for a long long time. This journey getting harsher the longer I live, Master Deng Zhi," I sighed.
"I'd like to know more about the conflict between Yuan Shao and Gongsun Zan, Grand General," Deng Zhi's interests in my past marks why my involvement on that particular era must be acknowledge.
I told him alittle more about Lady Hou who was Zan's concubine, the woman he sacrificed before he killed himself. Gongsun Zan wasn't sanity by the time the bad rumors Yuan Shao plagued reach its break point and then the fall of Yijing fort and my lateness to arrive there. I rarely did anything during that mark. Zan's men under used me and then 'that' happened after the war. I don't know how angry I was back then; it does compare more to the damages after Liu Xie's abdication. Why am I resorting to the past mistake?
"And all that's left was sitting at my mother's home complaining over what happened after Gongsun Zan killed himself and the lack of trust he had in me because of Tian Kai. There's nothing you can change when Yuan Shao grew more powerful for me to oppose him. Bomiao, was I really useless?" uttering that word made me cringe. This is what the rest of the world sees me now.
"Hahahah! If you were, you wouldn't be here leading the fake main army," he doesn't think of me like that. Literally, the plan was useless because Ma Su changed it by disobeying the original orders from Kongming and then the Battle of Jie Ting came out disastrous. Forget it, I'm going out for some fresh real winter air I've never had since long ago.
To be back into the same position since my time with Gongsun Zan except I had a lot of opportunities with my current position, but I'm not like Kongming. I was very selfless and obedience without a single corrupted mind around me. You can label that as a portion of being 'useless'. That's the glory of the loser, staying firm and present righteousness because righteousness is my ally.
When I left the tavern with Deng Zhi, he continues to chatter and joke about Ma Su's irresponsibility; I scanned around the small village which was our rendezvous point to Ji valley.
I'm just an ordinary man around Wei now. People in Xei Bei don't recognize me, but they know Ma Chao. Mengqi was a nightmare to the people over here and I can't blame them for it, but perhaps my sincerest presence can change their perspective about people like me. Today, I'm a Shu officer, but an ordinary nobody. I must find some peace in myself…before I die.
There's was a boy, alone and was begging for help. Why weren't there anyone in Wei coming to aide this young fellow?
He looked at me and begged me for his help with something. I'd gladly respond, "What's wrong little one?"
"This young lad is alone," Bomiao does notice the boy's situation.
"Please help me? Father dying! I can't hear, but I can talk," He looks desperate, I can see the boy falling into an aura of helpless. Not on my watch.
"I will help you," I tried my best to nod him since he can only read my lips that is if this poor child can read ever read a book. We follow him to where his father is, they're both very poor in which I could relate to the people on my side. We reach a small cabin that is assumed to be his house where his father was bed ridden.
"Shall I arrange a physician around here?" he asked me and I allow him carefully without getting any Wei soldiers suspicious of us.
The man's appears very weak without my knowledge of knowing what symptoms he's having. There wasn't an epidemic around here, so this man may be having a flu or worst a major headache which killed Cao Cao and not before Cao Cao killed a very good doctor.
I'm sick of people like Cao Cao putting good people in misfortune because he got paranoid over something he don't know anything about. Would Liu Bei be the same? And here I witnessed the worst of Liu Bei, however Kongming played a part on Liu Bei's blind rage after Guan Yu's death.
I wonder what the boy's name is, "Sir, your son asked for help and I come here to let you know that I will help you and your son in times of need."
He struggled with his eyes open and saw me with his son, "Oh, finally someone who can understand my deaf son."
Of course, the boy was indeed a mute, but he can speak which is good enough for me because I've been thinking about what to do on accommodating the deaf and disable. Zhuge Liang invited the wooden wheelchair that should have been used by the disabled and he would have become even more famous for solving one of the problems in times of the Han crisis.
"I understand those who are helpless needed help, sir," Zhao Yun replied.
"You are too kind," he applause me. My kindness was propaganda and inside my heart, I'm still hurt and frustrated since after Yi Ling.
"Please listen to me, kind sir. My son needed protection. No one will support him when I'm gone and he lost his mother to the same illness I'm dying from," his weak and rasped voice caught me thinking about one of the dead solders I did my best to comfort them till they leave this chaos.
I can't bring back the dead and neither could Kongming. Those people I met would later die from the war or suffer misfortune.
"Stay with him, my friend will bring you a physician for treatment. Until then, please rest at ease and I'll keep an eye on your boy," why did I say that? My whole life has been surrounded by death and misfortune while I continue to be the positive example of my army's propaganda.
Giving false hope to the people of ShuHan had made me feel miserable, but giving one to father of one from Wei made me feel even worse than that. I'm not supposed to be his son's hero, but….
"His name…my son's name is Tian Qi," his voice been getting weaker, I felt frustrated with the lack of anyone never took notice of that boy's helplessness before I got here.
So this is a member of the underappreciated Tian family, my mind recapped of Tian Feng before Yuan Shao ruined him and before I reunion with Liu Bei. The Tian clan were founders of the ancient kingdom of Qi, home of the legendary Sun strategist who made the Art of War. I know too much about the ancient wars and those people there were our ancestors, the founders of Chinese culture.
"Well, young Tian Qi. Your father will be treated as soon as Deng Zhi brings the physician," I did my old smile at the boy and even try the body language making a sign to get him to understand.
"Thank you mister," Tian Qi smiled back at me like I saw some of the children at Shu. I did my best to keep their fathers alive, but they should know it will be their deaths in the battlefield and I can't give them too much hope for those chances.
I watched Tian Qi's father for an hour until Deng Zhi found the physician .Lucky for the doctor, I'm not Cao Cao and he'd have no fear of treating Tian Qi's father no matter the risk of death it'd cause. The body isn't immortal. Death is everywhere and these doctors work hard to save people's lives just like myself. So give this boy some hope.
"So what did I miss?" Deng Zhi stared at the young boy while I told him his name. Deng Zhi had found the physician who was on his way to Chang An earlier. The boy's father was a farm worker for some local land owner.
"Whoever the land owner is, he should have helped this boy," Wei is known to be an economically prosperous thanks to domestic talents of Cao Cao's civil officers our forces lack. Most of our domestic strength was when we had Jingzhou.
"I agree, the boy's hearing disability aside, there should have been someone virtuous enough from Wei to help. Maybe Cao Zhen should have come here instead," I wanted to laugh at that, but I'm not in the mood to laugh.
"Busy cleaning up Ma Su's mess so we're available," and I'm glad they are, they deserve every spoil of it. Jinyi was terribly underestimated by that fool. Hope he feels much better after Huang Zhong killed Xiahou Yuan… Lady Xiahou's relative.
The physician later finished treating the boy's father and told us the results, "You two brought me here in time. I don't know how long he would hold flu without treatment."
"People would die from flu or worst a pneumonia," Deng Zhi mention one of the deadly flu types that could possibly kill me. Thank the heavens for letting us be of help with this boy.
I nodded and told the physician my gratitude, "You should thank this boy too. He can't hear, but I can understand him and with my aide, it brought you here to help treat his father. The boy's name is Tian Qi."
"Thank you, young man; it's a privilege to be of help to the deaf!" He's not Hua Tuo, but it's enough to make me happy right now and so shall this boy with me.
I turned to the worried deaf boy encouraging him to be assured, "Your father has been treated make sure he uses these medical herbs." Showing him the medicine and moving it to his father just to make this understandable gave the boy a nod.
It's already been 4 hours since staying with the boy and Zhuge Liang must be worrying about me. That's his problem; he knows I'm hard to kill despite learning that death will come to me at anytime. My age makes my death giving a higher chance. I know I don't have much to live through this lonely journey. Restoring the Han becomes less and less possible. But, giving hope to the people remains. This boy will grow up to take his father's place in farming despite his hearing disability.
Guang is leading more into this notion of activity while, Tong…Tong, whatever the path he's taking, I won't stop him from trying to make the Zhao family more involved with the sons of Kongming's friends.
It'd be nice to see Guang and my lady's nephew working together, but I heard her nephew became too close to involving with Cao Rui's friends according to my spy who revealed my lady's death just right after Liu Bei died. Also, I had children very late, so Guang is much younger than Rui.
"Well we shall be going now," Rumors will spread that I'm helping the deaf boy at Wei. That should be my last days as Zhao Yun of Changshan. My unit had already retreated back to Han Zhong before us, it should give those men families a sigh of relief, but why am I feeling like, I don't want to return to my son?
If I go back to Zhuge Liang and the others, I will never find my true peace. Giving that boy hope made me feel better after this campaign's failure. With little time left for me, that special moment was enough to reflect my debt to her.
When we got on our horses after giving our thanks to the physician, "Bomiao, what would Cao Rui think if he heard rumors about me aiding a deaf boy from Wei?"
Cao Rui was nothing like his father as the rumors stated. Made it animous to how the state of his father's dynasty had changed for the better of them and for the worse of me. Either way, it doesn't change how I truly feel right now.
"Cao Rui thinks you're a mindless barbarian. Hahaha, joking aside, he'd be surprised that an enemy general saved the life of the deaf boy's father. Maybe that could get your message to him, my lord," Deng Zhi's honestly knew that the Wei Emperor only knows his heroes were real heroes to him. When the rumors stir, he will know what an actual hero I present.
I know everyone is fighting for the same thing…peace. It's all what the people of the realm hoped for. I, on the other hand, wanted to make things right. His kingdom contin8ue to harbor the wrong and I failed. Perhaps peace was all my lady wished for, but in the end, misfortunes continue to purge the realm. Her misfortune, it will never be righted, not as long as her son harbors his father's wrong. But, the deaf boy and his father I saved, I gave them hope.
"By the way, are you sure about this? I'll be meeting the Prime Minister, but your presence may help ease the main army," he said as we rode out of the village and travel back to Han Zhong with the retreating army.
"I'm sure, Deng Zhi. We trusted each other for so long and now I'm not sure if I can meet him and report our safe retreat or argue with him. This day felt empty, but that boy we met," I've stray too far from compassion since 'that' happened. Kongming would no better to have done it and it twisted my Lord's vengeance on Guan Yu's death.
Are we still benevolent or hypocrites? That's a question I will keep into my grave.