Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen, Elsa, Anna, Olaf, Kristoff, or anything of the like. This is just a story idea that popped into my head
Gerda was just finishing her rounds for the night when a loud crashing sound came from the grand ballroom. She grabbed a candlestick from the sideboard table in an attempt to defend herself.
"Wh- who's there?" She demanded with as much bravery she could muster.
Startled, Elsa jumped up from her position from under the shelf. "Ouch!" she exclaimed as ice inadvertently coated the cabinet she was reaching under.
"Gasp! Your Majesty!" Gerda sputtered in shock. "What are you doing?" If Gerda didn't know better, she could've sworn the Queen looked embarrassed.
"I was just cleaning up this mess I made."
"Let me call someone to take care of that for you," Gerda offered.
"It's okay, Gerda. I'm can do it. This isn't the first mess I've had to clean up myself," the young queen said wryly.
Gerda didn't understand. "The servants were always avail-"
Elsa interrupted her and solemnly stated, "I never got the luxury of having someone clean up my messes when I was younger. Besides, I don't think many servants would feel comfortable cleaning up ice shards and melted snow."
When Elsa turned back to her cleaning duties, Gerda gave her a sympathetic look and squatted down next to her. Reaching for Elsa's hand, she stopped her and took the towel from her hand. A look of understanding was passed between the two. Gerda nodded her head toward a chair indicating she wanted Elsa to relax and sit. Elsa opened her mouth to protest but the look Gerda gave her shut her up completely.
"What exactly were you doing, your majesty?" Gerda asked politely.
Elsa shifted a little in her seat. "I was trying to make ice sculptures for Anna's birthday. I had almost everyone important to her, but when I go to our parents…well, I couldn't quite get their likenesses and um…Papa kind of just exploded."
This statement was rewarded with a slight giggle from one of Elsa's oldest, most trusted servants. She stopped though when she saw that Elsa hadn't meant it to be funny and actually looked quite ashamed.
Gerda stopped what she was doing and tentatively approached the queen.
"What really is the matter, your majesty?"
Elsa looked up from her hands. After their parents' deaths, Gerda had always been a maternal figure to Elsa and Anna, even if Elsa wasn't as accessible as Anna. She clenched and unclenched her fists, formulating her thoughts. A light chill filled the air as she did so.
"I missed out on so many of Anna's birthdays and other important events—" she left the sentence hanging; it's implications not missed by the older woman. "I just want to get this right."
Gerda clasped Elsa's hands to stop them from fidgeting and to provide comfort. "I'm sure Princess Anna will be pleased with whatever you do. And more importantly, she's just happy to have her sister back. She doesn't care about the past."
Elsa calmed a little, but then looked sadly at the portrait of her father and mother. Slumping her shoulders, she let out a sigh.
"If I may be so bold, your majesty. Have you been able to properly mourn your parents' passing?"
Elsa quickly jerked her head back toward Gerda. It was as if she was just stabbed through the heart with one of her own ice shards. She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out.
"You've gone through more than anyone your age should have. Yet, you have never given time for yourself to grieve. For yourself, your lost childhood, your parents." She paused, giving Elsa time to marinate on her words.
"The party is still a few days away. I suggest you take some time off for yourself. It might give you more clarity and peace. And remember, you don't have to do this alone. Not anymore." With that, Gerda gave Elsa's shoulder a squeeze and left the ballroom.
Early the next morning, Elsa's door slowly swung open. At first an eye could be seen peeking around the edge, then the rest of a redheaded, pigtailed face. Ever since "the thaw", Elsa kept her door ajar- always accessible to Anna, but still able to maintain some privacy for the Queen. And truth be told, Elsa felt a little claustrophobic in her room ever since being dragged unconscious back from her ice palace and placed in that small cell.
Anna crept up to the canopied bed to see if she could surprise her sister. "Elsa?"
The last time she had woken her sister like this was a distant memory, but seemed more like a dream. Anna vaguely remembered the aurora glowing, and then their relationship went downhill. She shook her head to wipe out those unpleasant memories. "Stop it, Anna. It wasn't Elsa's fault. She won't shut you out anymore," she told herself.
Looking down at Elsa's sleeping figure, Anna could tell she did not have a restful slumber. Anna was saddened by the worry that was etched all over Elsa's features. "What could she be stressed about?" she wondered. Anna decided she'd let Elsa sleep a few hours longer. After all, none of the servants were up yet either.
When Elsa hadn't showed up to breakfast, Anna decided it was time to wake her up. She knew Elsa would be upset with herself for missing out on her queenly duties. Anna wasn't so tentative in entering Elsa's room this time around. She bounded up to Elsa's bed and jumped on it.
"Elsa, psst. Elsa! Wake up, wake up, wake up!"
All this elicited was a grown from her sister. Anna got a glint in her eye. "Wanna build a snowman?"
Elsa's eyes flew open with a gasp. She nearly knocked Anna to the ground when she bolted up from her prone position. "What?!"
Anna was a little startled, especially when the temperature in the room dropped. "I.. uh.."
Elsa rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Anna. I just… it's nothing. Sure, I'd love to build a snowman."
"Nuh-uh, dear sister of mine. Something is definitely up with you. First, you sleep through breakfast and now you act like you've seen a ghost. The gates are open, now spill."
"It's noth—I was just up late last night."
"Elsaaa," whined Anna.
Elsa sighed, "Okay. It's just that… well, you waking me up like you just did was the exact way you did when we were kids. You know, before. After the night I had, it just threw me for a second."
"Speaking of that, I came in earlier… you looked stressed even in your sleep. Have you been having nightmares?" Anna asked genuinely concerned.
"Not exactly. More like a lot on my mind during my waking hours." Anna gave her a look indicating Elsa needed to elaborate more before the subject was dropped.
"I had an… interesting talk with Gerda last night. She is under the impression I haven't properly mourned for apparently every aspect of my life," Elsa said glibly, hoping Anna wouldn't read too much into it.
"She's right, you know."
"Ugh," thought Elsa. "Not you too."
"Elsa, you stayed locked in your room for thirteen years—"
"That's not entirely true. I did have to leave to go to the bathroom and future queen lessons until—" Elsa let her statement hang there.
Anna looked at her knowingly. "See? That's exactly it. You can't even say it. Queen lessons until mother and father died."
Elsa averted her eyes. It was times like these she wished she were still behind locked doors.
"It's okay, Elsa. It's okay to be sad. You're not going to freeze the kingdom." Anna said this, but even she wasn't entirely sure. At least she hoped Elsa wouldn't bring on another unexpected winter. "And even if you do set off another ice age, we know how to melt it now," Anna said with a smile, trying to alleviate Elsa's worries.
"So, what exactly brought on this melancholy for Gerda to even bring it up? And when did this conversation even take place? When I left you, you were heading to bed."
Elsa knew there really was no way of getting around it, especially when her sister was like a bloodhound on the sent of a wild creature. "Well, I was kind of getting your birthday gift ready, and one thing led to another."
"But that's all I'll say!" she exclaimed when she saw the excited gleam in Anna's eyes at the mention of her gift.
"So, you wanted to build a snowman?"
Anna grinned toothily. "Yes!"
"Okay, let me get changed and I'll meet you outside."
Anna skipped out to the hall but before leaving she threw over her shoulder, "Don't think you're off the hook yet. We still need to talk about the other aspects of your life you aren't dealing with."
The rest of the day went pleasantly for Elsa. She and Anna built snowmen for Olaf to play with, but none of them retained their lifelikeness once they went back inside. When Anna went to find Kristoff, Elsa decided to go over more trade agreements. She opted to do it in the library instead of the study where her father's coronation portrait stared down at her.
The last embers of the sunset burned through the windows of the library as the servants came in to light the candles. It was there they found Queen Elsa asleep, head in her arms on one of the desks surrounded by piles of paperwork.
"Excuse me, your majesty," Kai quietly addressed the queen.
Slowly, she roused from her slumber. Stretching and rubbing her neck, Elsa reoriented herself. "What time is it?"
"It's almost time for your dinner, your majesty."
"Mmhm. Is Anna back yet?"
"Yes, ma'am. She returned from her excursion a little over an hour ago."
Kai's terminology for Anna's visits to Kristoff made Elsa smile. She was glad Anna was taking it slower with him than she did with Hans. Just thinking of the prince from the Southern Isles, made her shudder. And to think she was going to leave him to take care of her sister.
"Thank you, Kai. I'm going to freshen up before joining her in the dining room."
"And your work, majesty?" Kai indicated the papers on the desk.
"You can leave them there. I'll be back after dinner."
"As you wish," he replied and continued on his way to light the remaining candles.
"So, then Sven butted Kristoff into the stream. You should've seen his face!"
Anna and Elsa laughed at this. They discussed plans for Anna's upcoming birthday party from what dresses they were going to wear to what food was going to be served. It was good to talk about innocuous things for a change.
They fell into a comfortable silence until Anna brought up the earlier conversation with Gerda.
"You know, I had a chance to talk to Gerda when you were doing your queenly duties."
"You mean when I was napping on my diplomatic documents?" Elsa said with a smirk.
"Yes, then," Anna had to agree with a laugh. "You really need to let down, you know. I know you've been opening up to me more, but I still think you have a lot bottled up inside. It's not healthy, you know. You'll end up with ulcers."
Elsa raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Okay. Thanks?"
"Seriously. I want to know what you're feeling, how you felt those past thirteen years. I can't imagine what you put yourself through in your self-imposed martyrdom."
Elsa was contemplative for a few minutes before she spoke. "It wasn't all self-imposed."
Anna looked up from her dessert. "What do you mean?"
"After the accident and the trolls, papa and mama thought it best if I tried to learn control in my room. Well, papa mainly. But it's not his fault!" she blurted out quickly when Anna had a look of horror on her face.
"I agreed to it and it was I who continued to stay in there," she said trying to justify her parents' actions.
"Elsa! You were eight! Thirteen years of us being separated and you having to keep that secret. Gah! And there I was, knocking on your door as a daily reminder of what you couldn't do. I can't believe how selfish I was," Anna exclaimed.
"Hey! I thought I was the one with the monopoly on self-loathing. You're the bubbly one remember?" Elsa joked, trying to lighten the mood and protect Anna from feelings of guilt she was so familiar with.
Anna took a deep breath and looked at Elsa sheepishly. With a giggle, she said, "You're right. Kinda.. Wait, what?"
Elsa shook her head with a bemused look on her face.
"So, what are you going to do?" Anna asked.
Elsa took a spoonful of her dessert before answering. "I guess I'm going to go to the gravesite," she said in a noncommittal way.
"Mmhm. I think it'd be good for you. Closure and all," Anna agreed.