Disclaimer: I do not have any claim over Star Trek, Star Trek: 2009, or any of the characters, so don't sue me.
Author's Note: This takes place after the close of the movie. The Enterprise has just finished a rather harrowing mission that has once again earned them acclaim and renown in the eyes of Starfleet Command. As a result, the Enterprise and her young crew have been selected to embark on a five year mission (yes, that five year mission) that will take them out into the edges of space in exploration. Dr. Leonard McCoy has not seen his young daughter since the bitter divorce with his wife, and now, in the face of the prospect of being gone for the next five years of both of their lives, and some unexpected but useful prodding from one Jim Kirk, he has finally decided to confront his ex-wife to see his daughter again before they leave.
Author's Note 2: This was originally written as a response to having shore leave time from a roleplaying site I belong to (Starfleet Enterprise), where I play Dr. McCoy. This was prompted by a conversation I had with our dear Captain set in a bar just prior to being assigned to the five year mission, and thus I have not included the lead up to this point other than in summary as it was not entirely my own creation. That being said, I would like to thank Key and the rest of the kick-ass crew of the Starship Enterprise on our site that have helped to inspire me, both in this story, and with the character. I hope you all enjoy.
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The house looked as it had when he had left three years ago. It was simple, functional, yet comfortable, with a large front yard and a ring of trees circling the back. It had been his father's, and the place he had grown up before going off to school, and yet now it somehow felt foreign to him, as though he was unwelcome. The worn, stone walkway wound its way up to the door, and as his eyes settled on it, he felt a tightening feeling in his chest. Not panic, he knew what he would find when he made his way down that path and knocked on that door, but that knowledge also filled him with regret. As soon as he knocked on that door, all of the old wounds that had been healing for the past three years would be ripped back open.
Still, he had come here for a reason, and he hadn't flown all the way down here to turn around at the front gate. He was going to be gone for the next five years, and he knew that he would regret it if he didn't see her now, when he still had the chance. Taking a deep breath, he steeled his nerves as best he could and made his way towards the door.
He didn't make it all the way there. From somewhere in the backyard, he could hear the sounds of a little girl giggling. His stomach fluttered slightly at the sound as an unexpected wave of excitement and longing hit him. It had been three years since he had seen his daughter in person, three years since he had been able to touch her, to hold her, to smell the sweetness of her hair and to wipe the dirt off her cheeks…
With a brief glance at the front windows to ensure he had not yet been seen, he made his way quietly around the side of the house. As he rounded the corner, there came into view the back of a small girl. She was bent over; her bright blue eyes intent on something on the ground nearby, the cuffs of her blue overalls spattered with mud over the bare feet that touched the dirt below. Her long, brown hair cascaded down her back in soft waves, swaying lightly as she moved to follow whatever it was she had been examining. As she did so, she caught sight of the man coming around the corner.
"Daddy!" The girl's shout was joyful, and she immediately lost interest in the insect she had been studying. She ran as fast as her small legs could carry herself (which was surprisingly quick, since the last time McCoy had seen her), eager to contact her father. In that instant all of the fear and regret he had been feeling melted away, and a broad smile sprung to his face. He knelt to the little girl, ignoring what the dirt might do to his uniform, and embraced her warmly as she reached him, holding her close. God, that felt good.
"Hey kiddo, you miss me?" he asked, finally releasing her just enough so that she could move back and he could see her face. Though she hadn't changed all that much since their last holovid conference, it was almost like seeing her for the first time again. So small, so eager, so full of the old spunk and spirit he loved in her.
"Duh," she said playfully, rolling her eyes and giggling before embracing him again. "Mum said you wouldn't be coming back. She said you didn't want to come see me anymore."
McCoy frowned. "Now why would she tell you a thing like that? I always want to see you." He said, suddenly concerned at what his ex-wife had been telling her. 'It wouldn't be good for her.' The words echoed in his mind, what his ex-wife had told him the last time he had wanted to come visit. He had had to leave, at the time it was what was best for both of them, but he hadn't done anything, or so he thought, that would make it a bad idea for him to see Joanna.
"I told her you were going to outer space to help the aliens. She didn't believe me. She said you'd rather be dead." Her bright voice brought his thoughts back. She had been right. Under any sort of normal circumstances that would have been his reply. But what had happened between them had driven him even to that, and now it seemed that had become his home instead of here. "Well, I guess your mother was wrong," he replied, smirking, trying to cover any doubts he had about the situation. Wrong about a great many things, he thought to himself bitterly. The last thing Joanna needed to worry about was where he was going or whether or not he was going to come back.
They were interrupted by the sound of the backdoor opening. "Joanna, it's time to…" came an all too familiar voice. It cut off rapidly however, and soon the form of his ex-wife appeared in the doorway. She was tall, though not quite as tall as McCoy, with long, smooth red hair and a lithe figure that she had maintained since her girlhood. Her facial expression was doing nothing for her appearance, however. The brightness that was in her cool brown eyes now dimmed, and she wore the look of someone who had just discovered the family dog digging through the garbage cans. "So it's true then, you joined Starfleet." Her tone was icy, though it was a statement more than a question. "Joanna, come inside."
Joanna pouted, looking sadly between her father and mother. "But Mom, I haven't seen Dad since…"
"Now." Her tone indicated that this was an order, not a request.
Joanna turned sadly back to her father, but forced a small smile. She was ever trying to lighten the mood, to make sure that those she loved were happy. "Mom says I have to go inside."
"I heard her. You'd better listen." He replied, standing up, his tone falling back into its more disgruntled manner. His gaze settled uneasily on Maggie's face. The knot in his chest he had felt earlier sharply returned as the little girl scampered into the house past her mother.
"I told you not to come back here, Leonard." She said, coming outside and closing the door so that Joanna wouldn't hear. "It's not good for Joanna."
McCoy crossed his arms, any of the warm feeling he had felt moments ago gone, the familiar resentment and anger bubbling up within him. "And why isn't it, Maggie? Why did you tell her I didn't want to see her anymore? You know that's not true."
"I didn't want to see her get hurt," she bit back. "I didn't want her to grow up wondering why you never paid any attention to her like you did to me. It was better if she just accepted you were gone."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She thought it was better for Joanna to grow up without him in his life than seeing him when he was on leave? "I paid attention to you, as much as I could. But my work…."
She cut him off. "Ha! Your work! You were more passionate about diseases and cadavers then you ever where about me, Leonard."
That was it. He had let himself been drawn back in, just as he feared he would. All of the anger, all of the hurt, all of the memories from those three years ago came flooding back. He could feel his blood pumping faster, his face flush with anger, his brow furrowed in frustration. "That's bullshit, Maggie, and you know it! I loved you. You weren't the one who had to come home to find you with another man!"
His breathing came rapidly now, as he fought the images of that night back from his mind. And the cruel irony of the whole situation was that she had left him. She had told him that he deserved it. That it was only fair after all of the time he spent in the lab, in the clinic, away from home that she turn somewhere else. He had tried. God he had tried. He thought she had understood how important it was to him. It hadn't been an issue early on, but after his father died…
"Keep your voice down!" Maggie's voice came in a harsh whisper. "Joanna doesn't know about that, and she doesn't need to."
"Of course not. I forgot, I'm the bad guy here, right?" His tone was cold and sarcastic. He just couldn't win, no matter what he did or said. He shook his head, running a hand backward through his hair and to his neck, trying to collect his thoughts. His whole body was tense. Maybe it was better if he just left. He knew that coming here wouldn't end well. "Look, tell Joanna that I…."
But that wasn't right. He had come here to put things straight, despite the perpetual feud they seemed to be having. "No. I came here to see Joanna, and I'm going to see her. Christ, you took everything else Mags, you can't take her away from me too." A pleading quality that he hadn't intended to show was evident in his face, just a hint of the desperation he felt in the situation. But he remained firm. Jim had been right. This time he wasn't going to back down.
Maggie regarded him for a moment with what appeared to be a mix of surprise and disgust. The audacity he had to just show up and demand to see her. But despite her efforts to eliminate McCoy from her life, Joanna had kept asking about him all of these years, had talked excitedly about what her father must be doing out in the vastness of space. Every time she got a recording from him, her face had lit up. She sighed heavily. "Fine. You can see her. But stay out of my business. I've worked hard to make my life the way it is now, and I don't need you in it." It had just been a mess. Two people, who had begun very much in love, but who were in the wrong place at the wrong time for each other. She moved to go back into the house, her gaze locking on his for one final moment before she disappeared.
He watched her as she went, letting the emotional surge that had overtaken him settle back down. Damn it. Why had he gone and dragged all this up again? But in a way he felt a faint sense of relief. He had built up so much angst regarding ever seeing her again, of touching the subject again, and now the moment was over, and he found himself breathing a little easier. He had won. If only just for a moment, he had gotten what he came for. To further ease the situation, a moment later Joanna came back out of the house, a smile on her face as though nothing had happened. The resiliency of that child amazed him.
Her smile faded only slightly when she saw his face. "Are you ok, Daddy? You look upset." He sighed, though the weight inside him lightened just a bit. "I'm fine…your Mom and I… just don't always agree on things." He said, tousling her hair absentmindedly. What more could he say? "That's why you left, huh?" came her small voice at his side, sounding concerned. He glanced down at her innocent face. She would never really know what happened, not at least until she was much older, and even then he wondered if it were truly important that she know. "Yeah," was his simple reply, with a resigned smirk. For now, that was enough.
Mentally, he shifted gears. The worst of it was over. He had the whole day to spend with Joanna, and that was what he should focus on now. "So, where do you want to go?" He asked, forcing a smile back onto his face. The young girl's eyes sparkled for a moment, and McCoy could practically see the wheels turning in her head. "Can we get ice cream?" The excitement in her voice was evident. "But not the new, weird frozen kind. The old kind, like they make on Uncle Jack's farm." She was nearly bouncing with excitement.
McCoy laughed in spite of himself. His uncle used to have a farm in the next town over when he was growing up where he used to go horseback riding. He had told her when she was younger about the time he spent there, and one of the highlights had always been real, natural ice cream. "I think we can turn something up," he said, hoisting her up onto his hip. She giggled and threw her arms around his neck. "I love you, Daddy." McCoy just smiled, a real genuine smile like he hadn't felt in years. "I love you too."
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Author's Note 3: Had enough of these yet? Anyway, this is my first attempt at a fan fiction, and my first attempt at publishing something within this genre outside of a roleplaying context. Let me know what you think!