I'm standing here, gazing at you. At least, I think I'm standing. I've forgotten I exist. I'm struck to the spot by your beauty, your gracefulness. You seem to melt into a smile, an air of virtue surrounding, and I feel something much more amazing than magic. You turn those emerald eyes towards mine, and I know that the world has stopped.
There are two things I seem to totally forget at this moment in time.
1. That you only have those eyes for James Potter.
2. That I was the one who convinced you to choose him over me.
These things normally awake me in the middle of the night; pierce my thoughts with agonizing pain. They are even there when I become much more than a man. They stop me loving. But, on this one day, they have been blinded by your unimaginable charm; I have nothing on my mind but love for Lily Evans.
I can see how I got this point through snapshots of memories. Small things, that no-one else would remember. I can remember the first time I saw a little redhead on the Hogwarts Express.
A slim boy of around eleven sat alone in a train compartment. Having already bid goodbye to his parents, he sat with his bronze eyes focussing on the words in the book in front of him. Remus Lupin was used to solitude even at this young age, and found it gave him great time to learn. He subconsciously rubbed one of the scars on his face, and his eyebrows crossed in concentration. Ignoring all of the tearful farewells and shrill platform whistles from outside, he didn't even notice the train door slide open.
"Is it alright if I sit with you?" came a frightful voice.
Remus lowered his new transfiguration book. At the door was a small, plump boy with sweat glistening on his brow. His colourless hair fell into his eyes, which looked at Remus anxiously.
Remus hesitated: he had learnt to avoid people. When you suffered from lycanthropy, nobody wanted to know you. His father and Professor Dumbledore had bother warned him not to give too much away. He normally did this by staying absolutely silent. But this was a new start, and after a couple of seconds, Remus smiled and said "Yeah sure, take a seat."
"Thanks." Said the podgy youngster, landing heavily into the seat opposite. "I've been worried for ages about coming. Mum thought we were going to miss the train, we were that late. I had to run to get through in time."
With this statement, the train lurched into motion, and the boy started waving furiously out of the window at his mother. Remus smiled. He knew now he wasn't alone in worrying about coming to Hogwarts. He and the boy, who turned out to be called Peter, talked lightly for part of the journey. They shared a little in common: They wanted to be both Gryffindors, they both enjoyed watching Quidditch, and as it turned out, both had the same fears about school.
"I hope I find someone good to hang round with. At Muggle School, nobody really liked me" said Peter, rather embarrassed by his loneliness.
With this, Remus could relate. He had never really had that good of friends. Some boys from village were okay to talk to, but his father had always told him to be careful around others, especially due to his illness. He thought privately that Peter had a very different reason for not having friends to what he had.
After around an hour of talking about Hogwarts, the doors opened again. This time, two people came in without asking, or even glancing at Peter and Remus. A very pallid and skinny black-haired boy was followed by a girl with blazing red hair. They were in mid conversation when the girl sat down next to Remus, and finished to her friend with "-absolute idiot. Remind me not to be in the same house as him."
"Yeah, don't worry about it. We'll be laughing our heads off at him when we're in Slytherin" answered the pale boy viciously. "Anyway, who'd want to be in Gryffindor? House of Courage? House of Ignorance more like."
"Actually, Professor Dumbledore was in Gryffindor, and he's not ignorant. He's quite understanding really" said Remus to pale boy, but flushed with colour as he realised he had shown he had been eavesdropping. The pale boy scowled at him, but the redhead next to him turned and asked "So you've met Professor Dumbledore?"
"Err yeah."
"So you're muggleborn too then?" She asked, rather excited.
"No, no I'm not" answered Remus, quite confused.
"Oh." She replied looking equally confused. "So when did you met him then?"
Remus could feel himself becoming redder in the face. Of course Dumbledore had met him and his parents, but not because he didn't have any wizarding blood; it was because he wasn't human. His brain started to jam, and it took a few seconds to find a plausible lie.
"He's a friend of the family" he finally stuttered out. The girl looked impressed and gave Remus a perfect pearly smile, but her pallid friend looked rather suspicious of his long pause.
The rest of the journey passed quite quickly, punctuated only with the odd question coming from the redhead, who turned out to be called Lily, about Hogwarts, its teachers, or just magic in general. As far as Remus could tell, her friend was called "Sev." He didn't think much to this "Sev", he was quite rude and closed-minded, but also wasn't fond of him because "Sev" had found a firm friend before Remus had.
After Lily had borrowed a sickle from Remus for a Pumpkin pasty, Peter had spilt his juice all over himself, and "Sev" had answered everything in fluent sarcasm, they finally arrived at Hogwarts. Remus couldn't really remember too much about crossing the black lake, apart from he shared the boat with Peter, and two other boys with black hair. The biting cold air, the smell of ferns on the breeze, the gentle lapping of the waters. Of this, nothing stood out. The next thing he could consciously remember, he was standing in front of an old hat in a magnificent old hall, and his fellow first years were disappearing from around him and reappearing on one of the four long tables. He saw one of the boys with black hair go forward when they shouted "Sirius Black", and Remus had to laugh along with everyone else when this Sirius gave a very audible whoop when he was sorted into Gryffindor. He watched particular carefully when Lily walked forwards when she was called, and for a second before the cheer, he heard a small groan come from his side when she was sorted into Gryffindor. Remus lurched forwards himself at the sound of his name, and while turning round to face the hall, he swore he could see a small wink come from Professor Dumbledore. As the hat was placed on his head, he made a decision, and he disregarded all past opinions on the houses. The hat touched his head, and he thought very clearly in his head "Put me in any house you like, I'm just glad to be here." No sooner had he mentally spoken the last word, the hat brim ripped open and screamed "Gryffindor!"
Remus could do nothing but grin from ear to ear as he walked towards the table of scarlet and gold. He sat down next to Sirius Black, with Lily sat opposite him. She gave Remus a quick smile, before noticing who he was sitting next to, and giving Sirius a freezing look. Remus looked at Lily even when she had turned away, and it wasn't until a large boy jumped to sit down next to him and his extra weight made Remus rise slightly off of the bench that he stopped. Peter squealed "I can't believe I made Gryffindor! Me!"
Remus smiled and congratulated him, and was soon joined the other black haired boy. He adjusted his glasses as he took a seat next to Lily and gave a high-five to Sirius across the table. "Told you Gryffindor was the house of legends!"
Lily gave a very loud tut and turned to face the girl on her left. The glasses boy spotted her and chimed "Where's Snivellus eh? Oh yeah, he's over there on the loser table."
Remus laughed along with the other boys at this, but when he looked at Lily, he could see her eyes wobbling with tears. He felt a sudden pang of guilt.
His memories from that day seemed to skip all of the unimportant bits. The marvellous food, the mindless chatter of four eleven year olds, being shown the way to Gryffindor tower, and even the first expressions of the common room. The points that are embossed in his mind is pulling back his duvet, and listening to Peter laughing at one of boy's jokes. It was quite lucky that the three boys he seemed to like turned out to be his dorm mates. Each one of them brought something to the atmosphere, no matter how small or insignificant. He really liked all three of them, and they all shared the same sense of humour, although some were crueller with it. As Remus climbed into bed, he heard the other boy, James, making a crude joke about Severus Snape, or "Sev." He gave an automatic laugh, but thought again of how Lily's eyes dampened, and he knew from then he wouldn't tease Severus Snape for that reason. As he laid down into his sheets however, his thoughts weren't on Slytherin or sickles; it was on four people he had met today which he was sure he would always remember, and hoped they would never forget him.