Title: ABC Guide to Vladmir and Leah
Rating: T
Pairing: Leah and Vladmir
Summary: The ABC guide to the relationship between Leah Clearwater and the Romanian vampire Vladmir.
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!
AN: This is another Christmas one-shot requested by Pumpkinpatch212 (I hope I got the name right the person did not sign in.) who wanted to see an ABC guide to our favorite Romanian and our favorite she-wolf so I really hope they are not disappointed by this. Remember my one-shot gifts may be broken up in to two chapters it really depends on how much I feel I can write at the time.

A- Abased. Since the moment Vladmir had met the she-wolf known as Leah Clearwater, he had been enchanted. Never in all his existence had he ever met someone like her. One of the traits which made him fall for her was the fact that no matter what she did or what people thought of her, the female shape shifter never felt abased for any of it. Leah was who she was plain and simple and she was proud of that fact. The Romanian vampire often thought that if more people took pride in who they were like Leah did, the world would be a better place.

B- Baffled. "Geeze Vlad, don't look so baffled; I mean it is just a cellphone." Leah was trying to hold back laughter as she gazed at her boyfriend who was looking at the cellphone she had gotten him as if it were an alien or something. "I thought it may come in handy if you are trying to get in touch with me instead of sneaking in to the La Push and risk becoming a Romanian hamburger. You must have used a cellphone or rotary phone in the past right? Right?"

He shrugged and hid his embarrassment the best he could. "I prefer face to face conversation or letters. I do not believe two people can communicate completely through a bunch of wires and besides, sneaking in to the La Push brings me great joy since I get to see your pack brothers fail at capturing me. You would think they would have given up after so many failed attempts, but if they are anything like you, I know that is never going to happen which makes my victory even more pleasurable. Thank you thought for the phone, I know you must have put a lot of thought in to it and Stefan tells me the key to a lasting relationship is being grateful for whatever your partner does for you."

C- Cacophonous. Vladmir and Leah were visiting the Cullen family since Vladmir was good friends with Carlisle, when they heard a horrible screeching coming from up stairs. It took the pair a moment to realize the sound was actually Bella Cullen and she was screaming at her husband Edward about not getting her the exact bracelet she wanted for their anniversary. Leah wondered if people in Seattle could hear the sound since it was that loud.

"Well she is rather cacophonous isn't she?" The Romanian said as he covered his ears in a vain attempt to block out at least some of the sound.

The female shape shifter covered her ears as well though it did no good. "I have no idea what that means, but if it is something along the lines of she is a loud, whiny, no good witch then I agree with you 101 percent. If I am ever cacophonous then feel free to knock me out if I don't do it myself first."

D- Dapper. On the day the blond Romanian vampire was supposed to meet the mother of his fiancee, he had decided that he wanted to look extra nice and considering his wardrobe consisted of mostly leather, he knew he had to go shopping and so he enlisted the help of one Alice Cullen. He had never known there were so many different brands of clothing. All he had wanted was a nice suit or something and he figured maybe it would take half an hour tops, but they had been at the Seattle mall for three hours now and he was starting to get peeved every time Alice had him try on yet another suite because she found something wrong with the others.

Around the fourth hour he was ready to give up and just wear his usual clothing. The only reason he was even looking at suites was for Leah. He did not want her mother to find something she didn't like about him and turn it around so it was her daughters fault. For some reason he tried on one last suite for Alice. It was a dark blue with white trim and it actually made his complexion seem normal of that as a human though it did bring out his eyes, but in reality it was kind of hard to hide red eyes.

"Oh my goodness!" The tiny Cullen female shouted as she started jumping up and down. "You look absolutely dapper! Oh Leah is going to be so thrilled when she sees you!"

E- Edify. Everyone who knew Leah knew she hated vampires and for the most part they agreed with her. Sometimes she could take her hatred a little far, but there really wasn't anything they could do about so they just let it be. When the two Romanian blood drinkers met the only female shifter ever known to exist, the younger of the two, Vladmir decided to edify her view on vampires.

F- Facetious. When Leah decided to take her boyfriend snowboarding, he thought nothing of it. He was a vampire and snowboarding couldn't be that hard right? Wrong. On the first try he ended up flying off the board and landing face first in the snow at his girlfriends feet. When he looked up at her the expression on her face was facetious and she looked about ready to fall over she was laughing so hard. Scowling, he quickly made a snowball and chucked it at her. When it smacked her in the face he grinned. That's what she got for making fun of his failure.

G- Gallant. Most girls dream of a gallant prince swooping in to save the day and bring them to their happily ever after, but not Leah Clearwater. She had never believed in fairytales and never felt the need to have someone come and rescue her. She had always believed in saving herself, especially after Sam Uley had broken her heart. No, Leah didn't dream of finding her prince, but that didn't mean she was not thrilled when she found her soulmate in a blond vampire from Romania. Besides, he was better than some silly prince any day.

H- Haggle. "No." Leah had her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at her husband. "No freaking way Vladmir, take it back wherever you found it because I do not want it in this house."

He looked down at the snake wrapped around his arm. "Love, you said you wanted a pet and you didn't specify what type. Noah is really sweet once you get to know him. He is a boa constrictor so you need not worry about being bitten if that is your fear."

"I am not scared of snakes I just don't like them and I won't have one in our house plain and simple."

"Alright, let's haggle, that is the word you humans use correct?" Sighing set the snake known as Noah back in it's cage. "If you let me keep Noah, I will consent to you having any pet you want and I won't fight you on it. How does that sound?"

She thought about it for a second before nodding in agreement. "I can work with that. The slithering parasite can stay if I get to have a fennec fox and you cannot take it out if my fox is in the same room because if your snake eats it then I will be forced to cut it open to get my fox back understood? Also, I am not cleaning up after that thing."

I- Ignominious. It was rare to catch Leah Clearwater crying, but the on time Vladmir did, he wanted to hunt down and kill Sue Clearwater. It had taken him a while to get Leah to tell him what was wrong, but he was persistent because she was pregnant and stress was not good for her or the baby in her womb. If something happened to either of them due to stress, the blond vampire would destroy whoever was the catalyst.

"Mom said our baby was ignominious." She sniffled while burying her face in his hard as stone chest. "I know I shouldn't let her get to me because she has always been this way and I am used to that, but our unborn baby should not have to deal with this."

"I will make sure our child never has to worry about that." Vladmir promised her as he headed for the door. "Your mother the ignominious one and I am going to see to it that she knows it. You stay here love and I will be back soon, I promise."

J- Jaded. Some people saw the world as black and white, but the female Quilette shifter saw the word with jaded eyes as did her undead lover. So many things in her life had gone downhill that it was impossible to see things so simply anymore. At first she resented those around her who remained untainted by the world they lived it, though over time she grew to accept it and her jaded view of the world ended up bringing Vladmir in to her life so she couldn't really complain anymore because while her life had been altered in a way nobody could fix, all the pain brought her happiness she could never fully convey and it tipped the scale in her opinion.

K- Kinship. Loneliness. Leah felt alone due to the fact she had no friends because she of what she was and with Seth in college and her father dead, she felt as if she had family even though her mother was still alive. Her pack brothers did not ease the loneliness which had slowly started to consume her and in fact only ended up making it even worse. Leah felt terribly alone and she feared she would always feel this way.

Vladmir also felt alone even though he had Stefan, who was like his brother, around to keep him company. Everyone he had cared about had been destroyed by the Volturi and other vampires tended to stay as far away from him as they could because his reputation was not very inviting and nobody wanted to end up on the bad side of the Volturi. It was this very loneliness that brought Leah Clearwater and Vladmir the Romanian vampire together. Their kinship is what started their destiny together.

L- Lament. Sometimes the female shape shifter felt sorry for her husband because he couldn't cry. Crying was a good way to show grief for what you had lost and Vladmir did not have the ability to do so and because of that Leah cried for him because she loved him so much she felt his inner pain. Her tears were a lament to his pain and while he hated seeing her cry, the Romanian was actually grateful to her for helping find a release for the pain which had been trapped inside for over a century.

M- Macabre. For their fifth anniversary, Leah and Vladmir decided to hold a party which had a Macabre theme. He was a vampire and she loved anything horror filmed related so it fit. Alice Cullen had helped with all the decorations and such. There were fake organs hanging from whatever could be reached, fake blood dripped from the walls and ceiling, lights flickered on and off in time with spooky music, and each person in attendance was dressed to the horror theme one way or another. At the stroke of midnight, the couple appeared at the top of the stairs and renewed their vows while acting out a scene from one of their favorite horror movies 'Nightmare on Elm Street' with Vladmir decked out in full Freddy gear and Leah dressed as Nancy. They shared a kiss to Freddy's theme and after everyone else had left, they headed up stairs to have a private role play session as a gift to the other for five happy years and hopefully many more to come.

TBC...

Please R&R like always!