A/N: Yo! What is this? I don't even know myself, but it is inspired from a picture I found once upon a time, and for some reason, I can no longer locate it...SIGH...

Welp, enjoy!

The Legend of Troll Begins

Nalu...Gale...Gruvia...and Jerza...

The Four OTP's lived together in harmony...

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But...everything changed when the Shippers attacked.

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Only the Trollshima, master of all four ships, could even hope to have any control over it all...but one day, he vanished.(LOL, so true...2013-2014)

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He hasn't been seen since...until...(April 2014)

My brother and I found him, sealed away by the Producers.

He still has much to troll around with, but when he's done, we're going to help him restore the fandom.

(insert LoTR theme here, lolz...or the FT theme...whatever floats your boat...)

"Barricade the doors, they're coming!"

"How did they get here anyway!?"

"Does that matter right now!? BLOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!"

"Shit! They can reach the windows!"

The Fairy Tail Guild hall was currently under attack from fangirl forces unknown, all attempting to infiltrate the inner walls. All they knew was that it was a bunch of girly screams they heard outside, screaming weird words like 'Nalu' or 'Nali' or something, as well as other indistinguishable words being shouted amongst the fray.

It also seemed they were fighting each other whilst trying to break down the walls of the guild.

"Gruvia is my OTP!"

"Shut up! Gralu! Gray should pair with Lucy!"

"WHAT!?" Lucy and Juvia had shouted out together, both equally mortified.

"Hell naw! Gray's like my BROTHER! I can't, and WON'T, date him! That's just...unsettling!...Maybe in an alternate universe...but...ugh, just NO!"

"Juvia agrees with Love Rival Lucy-san! Because Gray-sama belongs only to Juvia! And Juvia no longer wishes to fight with her friend, because Lucy-san promised Juvia, and Juvia believes her friends!"

"What the hell!? LET GO, DAMMIT!" Gray had suddenly been grabbed at by a group wearing T-shirts, all in different colors with the letters 'OC' printed across.

"I wanna pair my character with Gray-kun!"

"Fuck that, ya Mary-Sue!"

Juvia couldn't take the sight anymore, and ended up breaking her speech pattern,"Release my Gray-sama from your harpy claws!" And she proceeded to pull the offending group into a very deadly Water Lock, effectively knocking out the group and sweeping them out and away with a tidal wave.

"Gray-sama~! Are you alright now?"

"Y-yeah...thanks, Juvia...I thou-"

"Juvia-chan~! Let's go on a date!"

"L-Lyon-sama?!"

"Aaaand the moment is gone..."

Meanwhile another group of people had gotten near the upper level windows, while screeching,"OMFG, it's Lyvia!"

"GTFO, Biatch! Gruvia FTW!"

"Ice Make: Lance!"

While that worked to get the strange people away from the window, it didn't really have the effect that Gray wanted. 'Kyaa~!'s' and 'Ice Make is COOL!' were heard as the fell to the ground outside.

Gray looked over at Lyon, quite annoyed with his sudden appearance and his relentless pestering of a very(cutely) red-faced Juvia.

"Why the hell are you here? Go back to your own guild! You're makin' her uncomfortable!"

Lyon finally acknowledged his brother/rival's presence,"Oh, hello Gray, totally didn't see you there. How are you?"

"Didn't see me my ass! If this is my guild, how do you not see me, stupid pointy-eyed asshole!?"

This is when Juvia's over-active imagination decided to introduced a piece of YAOI! into the exchange,"A-are they...Is this...Boy's Love!? ...Gray-sama would be a very lovely seme...even though he is the younger sibling...EEEEP! Forbidden Yaoi!? Juvia can barely take it!" Thus placing Juvia into her own steamy little world, along with a few Grayon fans.

Gray couldn't help but blush a little at her choice of words, before shoving Lyon into some fangirls, of whom started squealing in pure bliss.

Gray decided he'd had quite enough of the escalating pandemonium,"Quick! Let's get outta here while we have a chance!" he grabbed Juvia's hand and made his way to the guild's back door.

"G-G-G-G-Gray-sama is holding Juvia's hand!"

"Gray, you bastard! You can't just whisk her away like that!"

"Oh, give it a rest already! We all know you have a thing for Cheria, or Meredy! Or was it Milliana? Ehh...Kagura? Gaaah! Who cares!? Let's just get away from here!"

As the trio successfully evaded squealing fangirls, the rest of the guild hall was still trying to deal with any stragglers that had managed to get past the heavily barred doors and windows. A few had actually managed to get ahold of all the Raijinshuu, and were currently holding them down with some kind of magical duct tape.

"OI! What the hell!?" Laxus could only struggle as he was bound to the wall alongside Bixlow and Freed, as well as Ever who's Stone Eyes seemed to not have any effect whatsoever on their captors.

"Are they negating our magic somehow!?" Ever tried again and again, to no avail, while Bixlow attempted to use his Possession,"Dammit! It's not working, it's not WORKING! WHY ISN'T IT WORKIIIIING!? GAAACK! MY BABIES!"

"Oi, oi, oi! It ain't manly to gang up on one person. It should be one on one! FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" While the Raijinshuu had been occupied, it seemed another group went after all three of the Strauss siblings, plus Cana. One strangely manly looking fangirl was still squaring it off with Mirajane, who had gone Sitri, and a whole hoard of them practically dog-piled on top of a still struggling Elfman, while it looked like two separate clans were fighting over Lisanna. And Cana...Oh, Cana...

All it took was a line of tankards, poor Cana lost...willingly.

"Elfever! Quick, before he escapes!" Elfman's fate had ben sealed, as well as his body to Evergreen's, both an incredible shade of red with steam rising from Elfman's ears,"T-t-t-this isn't manly at all!"

"Ya think!? They've pretty much crushed you to me!"

"Laxana, guys! Laxus x Cana!"

Cana seemed to sober fairly quickly, looking up at the fiend who had uttered such blasphemy,"...Heheh...Nope. I do NOT feel like wearing my insides today, ladies. Go fuck yourselves and have a nice day-"

"NOO! It's FAHKING MIRAXUS AND BACCANA! Mira and Laxus, Cana and Bacchus, DON'T YOU DARE RUIN MY SHIPS! YOU MUST DIIIIIEE!"

"Waitwait- what? I think I might've misheard you bitches, did you say me and-"

"What the fucking hell!? Oh, Cana! You're not gonna believe this, but I had a really freaky-kinky dream of a bunch of women runnnig into Quattro Cereberus, nulling my Palm Magic, throwin' me in a sack, and draggin' me ta- oh god, it really happened didn't it?"

"...'Fraid so."

A very bedraggled Bacchus took this time to look between the group that had brought him in, and at Cana. Getting over the shock of actually being subdued by literally a bunch of girls, he looked back to Cana, slowly standing to get his bearings.

"Well fuck..."

"Yep...," With a flip of her long chestnut hair, Cana grabbed a couple of barrels, hoisting them each over her shoulders,"If it makes you feel any better, they lured me in with booze."

"...That doesn't actually, I feel like I lucked out."

"Ah, too bad, then...Hey, wanna go to the bar down the street?"

"Fuck yeah, let's go!"

So they left, out the same way that Gray and the others had slinked out, with Bacchus carrying her second barrel, saying something about 'true gentleman's chivalry' or what ever. Somewhere in the world, a rabid fangirl artist drew the scene whilst adding her shipper's imagination to the image.

"Aww...they're so cute...one lush with the other...,"Mira gave a dreamy sigh that her own shipper heart gladly supplied. Right before she was slammed into the wall space between Laxus and Freed.

"MiraFree! It's totally MiraFree!"

"WHAT BLASPHEMY DARES ERUPT FORTH FROM THINE PIEHOLE!? BY LAW OF THE MIRAXUS SHIPPERS, IT IS EFFING MIRAXUS!"

"TAKE IT BAAAAAACK!"

"Well, I don't mind their excitement over this, but how about you Laxus?"

"..."

And yet another cat fight, which soon turned into a Mira-tug of war.

Unbeknownst to the Mira-Fighters, a fujoshi union started to bind Laxus and Freed instead,"Oh~hohohoho~! I will has ALL the Yaoi!"

"O-oi,OI! I don't flow that way! Stop!" Laxus could only struggle as he and his good friend were being pushed closer and closer.

"Uhh...Laxus...,"Freed began, a sparkly, dreamy backdrop conveniently placed behind him,"I-if we must...endure this form of torture...I-I don't particularly mind...if it's you,"a blush had spread across Freed's pale cheeks, while his teal eyes shone as he gazed at Laxus.

Which is when Laxus began to experience motion sickness like symptoms.

And then all three of the fangirl groups were-conveniently- blasted away with an Evil Spark, which allowed Mira to remove the duct tape bindings from her fellow captives -just Freed and Laxus- as she helped them both Zombie walk their way home, consolingly patting both men on the back, both of whom were dazed, humiliated, and effectively drained by the whole traumatizing event.

"Uh, guys? You might've forgotten some- aaaand they're gone...great,"Bixlow was still stuck to the wall. After getting over being ignored, though, he turned his head in the direction of Ever and Elfman, a shit-eating grin only a troll could pull off upon his face,"At least I got you two! Oh, will ya look at that, they're embracing-"

"WE'RE NOT, YOU IDIOT!

"-each other. Damn, if only Lisanna was here to see this..."

Speaking of said person, Lisanna seemed to be stuck in some sort of Love-Rival-Triangle fight between Natsu, Lucy, and herself.

"WE'RE NOT LIKE THAT! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS!" Both she and Lucy unanimously shouted, Natsu looked completely confused and out of it, like he didn't know what the hell was going on(he probably didn't).

"We were just friends! That's it! Just two friends that happened to be a boy and a girl, that just happened to be playing house, that people just happen to automatically think up things like that. But we're just friends!"

"Just like us, too! Just freaking friends, sheesh! And quit writing weird things about Lisanna forcing me to leave the guild, or her acting like a bitch! She's one of the sweetest people I've ever known, and I love her like a sister, like I love everyone else in Fairy Tail! Like nakama, like family!"

"Aww, Lucy! You really think that? I love you too! Okay, that's it, I'm officially stealing you from Natsu, any and all arguments are now invalid,"Lisanna had her arms on Lucy's shoulders, which is also when Natsu decided to work again and came to life after hearing those words fall from one of his best friends.

"WHAT!?"

Lucy noticed something,"And anyway, why aren't any of you guys hounding Levy-chan, or Gajeel?"

Any and every fangirl in the guild hall immediately froze, before simultaneously backing up from everything, hissing and spitting like she'd thrown holy water on them. All eyes went to the Iron Dragon Slayer and the Solid Script mage who had been peacefully watching the chaos around them. Together

"We can'tsss...we cannot touchessssss them..."

"Yiissssssss...no one isssss to touch them..."

"They'sssssss...canon..."

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"...What?"

Gajeel only smirked,"Gihee, you heard 'em, Bunny Girl. We're canon. Go read Chapter 396...Air."

"Gajeel...,"Levy had her own impossibly devilish smirk on her lips,"Don't tease them too bad, don't want to make anyone upset just now, right?"

Somehow, once the word 'canon' had been uttered, a strange barrier had immediately been thrown up, encasing both of them.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!"was the most ungodly sound heard as the fangirls flung themselves at the smug pair, only to be thrown back from the protective force of the barrier.

"UNISON RAID!" The Iron Dragonslayer and the petite Script mage joined hands as their magic fused," METALLIC VOLUME!"

It was so bright, anyone who hadn't escaped the guild yet had to completely cover their eyes, while a figure slowly emerged from the light.

"AWAAAAY! IT'S THE TROLLL!"

"Trollshima..."

"Mashima-sensei..."

"Trollshima-sensei..."

"God-shima..."

"Oh, it is you, my master..."

Somehow, God appeared, and drove away all the screeching fangirls, leaving a huge mess in the guild hall. Like Fairy Tail Party huge. Like Max with Broom asleep in the corner huge.

"Y'all rang?" God stood there, a troll mask covering his true face.

"Nah, you got it..."

Natsu perked up immediately," Hey, I know you! You're that one guy who puts up all the weird pictures of me! WHAT THE HELL, MAN!?"

"I regret nothing,"was God's smug answer

Lucy just looked blankly at what just happened," Y'know...I'm not even surprised at what the fuck just happened...I think I'm gonna go home now...maybe lay down for a bit...yep...I'm going home...later you guys..."

Natsu whipped his head towards her retreating figure, turning back to Lisanna to shout,"And what do you mean you're stealing her from me!? I found her first, and she's my partner! Lis, we're friends, but you absolutely cannot have Lucy!"

"Oh?" Lisanna's sweet face twisted into something of a perfect copy of Mira's sly demon smirk,"I beg to differ dear friend, for soon she shall fall for my sweet charm, and then the Lucy will be mine! WAHAHAHAHA~!"

He stared in horror at the person who was supposed to be one of his greatest friends,"Oi, Lis...I think you've been talkin' too much with Loke...,"at the mention of Loke, Natsu began to panic,"SHIT! Loke! He-Lucy-they-GRAAAH! I gotta' get over there!"

Lisanna smiled, her expression relaxing,"Ah...those tow are so perfect for each other! I knew that even in Edolas...though I could've done without all the secret S&M stuff...,"She turned away, heading towards the loud spectacle still duct taped to the wall, along with Bixlow who was still immensely enjoying himself with teasing the stubborn duo.

"Oh, so they're being open about it now?"

"WE'RE NOT OPEN ABOUT IT!"

"But you guys just admitted to be dating, right Bixlow?"

"Oh my, I believe they did, Lisanna,"Bixlow didn't even mind that he was tied up anymore, making fun with the love lives of his nakama was so much better, especially with his favorite partner in crime and their favorite targets.

"Elf-nii-chan, we're expecting a wedding soon, y'know? Mira-nee is about to commit murder if you take too long~!"

"L-Lisanna!"

"Right! Your sis's pretty much already got it all planned out, huh?"

"Damn right, everything down to how the confetti is s'posed to fall."

"You guys! Just get us out of here!

Lisanna and Bixlow gave them a look, something like a smug victory smirk, and proceeded to say,"You mad, Bro?"

And the teasing and tears continued.

LOLZ...

"Augh...my head...," Lucy did just as she said and headed straight home. She had just turned the corner onto Strawberry Street when Loke decided to poof in.

"Lovely evening, Lucy-hime~! So it seems we're finally on our lonesome, eh?" He was already in front of her, kneeling, taking her hand in his, his flirtatious face of 'wooing' perfectly in place.

"...Go home, Loke...I'm not mentally able enough to deal with you right now..."

"...But I haven't even smoldered yet-"

"I'LL SHOW YOU 'SMOLDER'!" Natsu had seemingly flown in to land a knee-to-the-face kick, which had effectively sent Loke back to the Celestial World.

Lucy continued walking, stepping up onto the edge of the canal,"Yep...taking a loooooong nap..."

"Great, I'll come with you."

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"You are not allowed in my bed, Natsu,"Lucy deadpanned, fixing him with an angry, albeit tired, glare. As she faced forward once more, a pink blur whooshed past, heading straight for her apartment,"Hey! I said no! Natsu, NO!"

To which, he turned his head to glance back at her,"Ohh, but Natsu yes."

"GAAH! I'M GONNA STRANGLE YOU WITH THAT SCARF, YOU STUPID DORK!"

And yet he had already scaled the window to her room while she was fumbling with the lock on her door, very much ready to murder her best friend.

When she finally did get the door unlocked, Lucy leapt up the stairway to her room, threw open the door and had started towards the bed, only to not find the expected sight of a pink-haired idiot lounging in her bed. The only warning she had was the click of the door as it closed, and the flash of pink in the corner of her eye as she tackled from behind and pinned to her bed by a very muscular, very strong, lightly tanned arm that smelled of burning pine and smoking sandalwood.

"...uh, Natsu? Y-you can get off...now...please..." Heat was rushing fairly quickly to her cheeks, and she was pretty sure her neck as well.

"...Don't wanna~..." He shifted so that she was tucked under his chin, forcing Lucy to have her cheek pressed against his collarbone. She swears, he was such a man-child!

"O-okay..."

"They can't have you."

"...what?"

He moved again so that he was staring down at her with those deep onyx eyes,"They can't have you at all. Loke, Gray-"

"Idiot, Gray has Juvia."

"-or even Lisanna-"

"WTH LISANNA!?"

"-or anybody! You're my team mate, so they can't take you anyway!" She had no idea that Natsu could pout like that, until now, and that it would be that adorable. But there was still something to clear up.

"Wait, wait, what do you mean about Lisanna!?"

His expression turned shifty, scrambling to the window sill and peeking down at the street,"I think they're all scheming about somethin'...conspiring..."

"Natsu, I didn't think you knew big words,"Lucy sweatdropped, though, still not sure what he was getting at, or what he meant about Lisanna not having her,"But can you explain a little bit more, please?"

"Lucy,"Natsu looked worried now, couple that face with pathetically sad as he said to her,"THEY WANT YOU! SHE WANTS YOU! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HECK YOU MEAN BY THAT!"

Erza was quietly enjoying her time in the boat. With Jellal. Also in the boat. And cake...sweet, sweet, strawberry cake. In the boat. With Jellal. Jellal. JELLAL...

"S-say, J-J-Jellal!" She was trembling with nervousness, excitement, and a strange fear that she doesn't remember experiencing ever as she stuttered.

"Y-yes, E-E-E-E-Eeerza!" The same.

She coughed, trying to clear her throat enough to speak properly,"Th-thank you for inviting me for this, I haven't been on a leisure boat ride in a while, you see."

He blushed, the coloring blending in quite well with his mark,"O-OH! Yes! Thank you! I mean, your welcome! AHAHAHAA~!"

It got less awkward, and so that ship sailed away~...

A/N: Yes I did... and there's nothing you can do about it. This is gonna be my shit-starter right here...Fufufufufu~! Oh, I can FEEL the flames burning me already...it is almost glorious...

A message to FT fans everywhere!

Don't get worked up at what people ship! If they don't ship your ship, so what? They're not you, you're not them, get over it, people are allowed o have their own opinions! Some of you may ship things that I don't ship, and I may ship things that people don't agree with! For example, is some weird alternate universe, I would ship HappyxGajeel...ROMANTICALLY...and people are okay with it! I'll list my personal pairings later, but can we all just get along with each other for the sake of Fairy Tail? Pweeze?

Anywho! My personal OTP:

Nalu

Gruvia

Jerza

Gale

Miraxus

Baccana

Elfever

Bixanna

Chappy

Rowen(sometimes...?)

Zervis(also iffy)

Yurvis(wouldn't that be cute...)

and everything else is either a BroTP or a NoTP...I'm probably missing a few...

PM if you wanna talk theories, plz!

Thank you and sorry for ranting! (-3-)/