A/N: This was made at around three in the morning... nothing good ever happens at three in the morning with me. Anyway, I thought up this quick little angsty oneshot. Hope you all enjoy.
WARNING: THIS FANFIC CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE KAGEROU PROJECT SERIES AS WELL AS MENTIONS OF SUICIDE. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION.
The all too familiar walls of the cramped room had remained the same. The curtains had been drawn, enveloping everything in darkness. The door had been locked, only opening when a meal was being served. Even the dull flickering of the computer had vanished once it had gone into automatic sleep.
The knocks had long since vanished as his sister's routine fell out of pattern and eventually stopped all together. He would hear her footsteps stop at his door on occasion before she continued on her way, the already soft sound fading out completely in a matter of seconds.
Everyone was moving on; they were leaving their pasts behind and continuing toward a brighter future.
He, however was not. He could not; he absolutely would not allow himself to move on.
Moving on meant forgetting. It meant forgetting places, forgetting memories from your childhood and even forgetting some things that school had made sure to drill into your head over and over and over...
It meant forgetting dreams, forgetting lyrics to songs that at one time were all you could think about, and it meant forgetting people.
Forgetting strangers you had passed by. Forgetting acquaintances that you had small conversations with from time to time. Above all, it meant forgetting the people who once held a place in your heart.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. A girl who had forced her way into the life of a lonely boy. But that girl was no longer here.
Moving forward meant forgetting her. The memories he had of her, along with the unbelievable agony, was all he had left. It was the only thing that reminded him that she did in fact exist once.
Her long, brown hair that swayed gently in the wind.
Oh, how he yearned to run his hands through those soft locks.
Her smile, so bright and without any trace of worry.
He found himself stunned into stupid silence when he gazed upon such a beautiful sight.
By now, he was sure that he was the only one that could recall such things. After all, it had been two years since she died.
Two years ago she had made that fateful decision. Two years later he still couldn't figure out why.
Why did she kill herself?
Part of him wanted the reason to stay hidden—as if blissful ignorance was the only way to keep the memory of her pure. Another part of him was being gnawed away at; he often heard his own voice blaming himself for what had happened.
If only he had paid more attention.
If only he hadn't been so selfish, putting his problems of self-loathing before whatever she had been going through.
His eyes began to feel heavy as he remained motionless on his bed, dull black orbs having been glued on the ceiling for minutes—maybe even hours—without his knowledge.
He put up little resistance. His dreams were the only way he could see her again. The only way he could relish that precious smile again. Sometimes, if the world was in a gracious mood, he could even catch the faintness of her pleasant fragrance that had lingered over him for but a moment when she had offered her scarf in a time of comfort.
His dreams were the only way he could relive those days he spent with her. Those short, but utterly priceless days. He cherished his dreams for as long as time would allow him, but morning came much too quickly.
Today, there was no obnoxious voice to pull him out of his daze—he had gotten rid of that person days ago; only the ticking of the clock, whose sound seemed so loud as of late. Through the closed curtain, a small ray of sunshine shone through and it did not take him long to realize that had been the cause of his unwanted awakening. The twinge of guilt and sorrow hit him once more as he was once again forced to face the truth of reality.
She was gone.
She would not return.
Ever. Again.
Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, the empty place in his rotten heart growing with each passing second.
He wanted to be with her.
He wanted to see her again.
...
And then, his eyes landed on a shiny pair of sharp scissors.