All His Fault (Itacest)

The musty smell of the old train station sat heavily in the stale, unmoving air as one lone person slowly walked inside. Rays of sunlight leaked through the broken windows, shining across the dusty floor and graffiti-covered walls. The steady dripping of water from the ceiling along with footsteps broke the silence of the building. It had been years since the last train had run its course through this station, yet this place still held significant meaning to the man who walked inside.

He looked around, remembering the times he had enjoyed with the person he had come to fall in love with. He pulled at his jacket, playing with a loose thread and trying hard to avoid the tears that would surely appear later, if not now. It had been a risk he had taken, and he only had himself to blame. He sighed, brushing a few strands of his chocolate-colored hair aside so he could move his hand to cover his face. All his fault...
His name was Lovino Vargas, and he had destroyed it all. In one stupid confession, he had ruined any chance of a relationship with the person he cared about. He wiped away the first of many tears. "Why couldn't I have just kept my damn feelings to myself...?" he mumbled quietly. There was no one there to hear him, but he needed to say something.

It was this exact date, two years ago, that it had happened. That he had ran away from this exact spot with a broken, confused heart. He was so sure that Feliciano had loved him back, but he had been blind. So, so blind...

"Funny how love does that to people", he thought bitterly; warm, salty tears running down his face. He bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood. To add injury to insult, he had never received a real response to his confession…but he knew what it was. If the person hadn't responded to your confession in two years, you could safely assume that they probably just never wanted to see you again…right?

"D...dammit...Feliciano..." He blubbered, breaking down and sinking to his knees. He sounded absolutely pathetic...but he had been too proud to let it out like this before. He shook his head, watching as his tears fell on the dust-covered brick floor. He wished it could've ended differently. But...it hadn't.

It was a sunny day in Rome, the train station bustling with travelers, families, and couples. The sound and smell of the Locomotives filled the air as Lovino walked with his brother, Feliciano. Feliciano was currently looking for the correct boarding area for his train to Germany in order to visit his friend, Ludwig. Lovino cringed at the thought of Ludwig, but tried to calm down. This was the last hour or so he'd be able to see his brother for a month, he could at least avoid being grumpy. He'd have plenty of time for that when he was alone. It wasn't like he was eager to get rid of Feliciano for a month...especially since over the last few months, he had started to develop feelings for him, despite the fact they were brothers. It certainly seemed as though Feliciano liked him back, always hugging him or finding time to do something nice. He was the only one Lovino "softened up" for, and with good reason. He couldn't seem to get his brother out of his mind, and it drove him nuts that he couldn't (at the very least) kiss the person he loved...He should confess soon, now that he thought about it...

"Fratellone...? Is this the correct one...?" Feliciano said, snapping Lovino out of his thoughts.

"Uh...I think so..." Lovino said, feeling his heart beat faster. Maybe right before Feliciano would get on the train...yeah, that was a good idea. Then he could at least smile whenever he thought of Feliciano and how they shared the same feelings for each other. He'd eagerly await Feliciano's return, then when he arrived, they could go back to the house they lived in together and share kisses and-

"Fratello...?" Feliciano said, giving his older brother a strange look. He'd been acting incredibly weird lately; it was almost if-...no. It couldn't be. They were brothers, Lovino couldn't feel that way.

"Um...mi dispiace..." Lovino said sheepishly, his heart picking up pace as they moved towards the train. "This...this is it..." he thought, becoming more nervous by the second.

"Fratellone...are you sure you're ok...? You look a bit sick..." Feliciano asked, concerned.

"That's because I'm love sick, dammit..." Lovino thought, biting his lip as Feliciano raised a hand to his forehead to make sure he wasn't overheated. "Uh...I have something to tell you, fratellino..." he said nervously, gently removing his brother's hand from his forehead.

Feliciano cocked his head to one side and looked at him, confused. "What is it, Lovino...?" he asked.

Lovino was about to go into a nervous breakdown, for crying out loud... "Uh...I just wanted to say, b...before you go...that...um...ti amo, Feliciano..." he said, leaning down and planting a kiss on his brother's lips.

...

It had been about 5 seconds

….

Feliciano wasn't kissing back.

...

Feliciano pulled away in alarm, eyes wide. "L...Lovino...this is...I can't..." he mumbled, backing away a bit.

Lovino turned red, mortified. Maybe he'd made the assumption too quickly, but as soon as he saw his brother back away, he knew that he'd been wrong. So, so wrong. "Mi dispiace..." he said quickly, shaking his head and running the opposite way. He'd been a fool, a damn fool...

...

So this was where he was. Platform number 7, where he had run away with a broken heart. He cursed in Italian under his breath. Ever since that day when Feliciano had left for Germany, he hadn't seen him again. Feliciano never called or tried to get in contact with him…..heck, the day he was supposed to come back, Lovino had waited nervously outside the train. He wasn't on…..he had waited for the very last damn person, and had asked every person who passed by him…no one had seen a cheery Italian male with a curl off the right side of his head. He was worried sick. No, really, he had to run into the (terrible) bathrooms at the station and be sick. He hadn't just lost his love, he had lost his brother. And being the protective brother he was, he wanted to find him. So, after being sick, he did what any other person would do. He called Germany. He found out that Feliciano was still there and would be there for quite a bit of time. But, Lovino still carried that hope that someday Feliciano would come back and walk into their house, smiling, and say, "Ciao, Fratellone! I'm back!"

…..

Then the train station closed.

.….

That was why, after waiting 2 damn years, he had finally gained the courage to book a flight to Germany. Tomorrow was the set date for the flight. And here he was, moping around an abandoned train station. Great.

He picked himself up from the dusty floor to go back. Truthfully, he was nervous about tomorrow. Many things could happen, or many things could...not happen. He wiped the last few tears from his eyes with one sleeve, and stepped out of the abandoned station. He entered his car and started it, filled with newfound determination. He started driving back to his house. He had a flight to pack for, and a brother to retrieve.