Kiss and Make up

It had been a month, one month! Since Mr Darcy and I had become engaged, and we had not even progressed to calling each other our Christian names or even had a chaste kiss. This vexed me greatly, how could it be that I wished to kiss him so much when he obviously did not return the sentiment? Oh it was not to be borne, I shall stop thinking of him completely, and get on with perfectly tedious and trivial things. Yes this is my resolve, to stop thinking of him! Stop thinking of my wonderful fiancé, who is so sweet, caring, handsome, thoughtful, and so loving.

I sighed, how had this happened, how had a man I despised so thoroughly at the start of our acquaintance, so thoroughly implanted, and woven himself into my heart. I thought about him before I went to sleep, I thought about him while I was sewing, and I even thought about him when I was talking to my beloved papa. And it was happening more and more frequently, the more I saw Mr Darcy the more I thought of him, and it seemed the more he saw me the less he thought about me! Oh teasing teasing man, I will not think of him.

I decided to continue with my needlework, but halfway through the brown thread reminded me so much of Mr Darcy's eyes. The eyes that looked at me so lovingly during the start of our engagement, but now the love in them had somewhat lessened. As had the holding hands while we took our long walks. What had happened to make him act this way, in a way that made me feel he no longer cared for me?

Perhaps I was over reacting, I knew he still cared for me but was there any passion? Did he feel passion? I had lost count of the times Jane had come back with her face flushed and her lips swollen. It was apparently those times when I looked at Darcy longingly, well according to Mary. Mary!

I knew Jane liked to be kissed by Mr Bingley that much was clear

"Lizzy, what is the matter?"

"Jane, may I ask you a personal question?"

"Yes of course"

"What does it feel like to be kissed?"

"You mean Mr Darcy has not…?"

"No Jane he has not"

"I am sure he will, Lizzy"

"No Jane he will not!"

"Lizzy do not despair, I am sure your Mr Darcy wants to kiss you as much as you wish to kiss him"

"But Jane we have not even started to call each other by our Christian names, I am even beginning to wonder if he has a Christian name! The only time he has called me Elizabeth was when we got engaged!"

"Lizzy, do you want me to ask Mr Bingley to talk to him?"

My mouth opened in shock, she would not dare! Would she?

"Jane you jest!"

Then Jane started laughing

"Yes Lizzy you are right. I would never dream of asking Mr Bingley such a thing, I think he would think me to forward"

"No Jane, Mr Bingley would find it other quality to admire"

Jane blushed. "No Lizzy you are exaggerating!"

"No indeed! In Mr Bingley's eyes you are a woman without fault"

"I am sure you are to in the eyes of Mr Darcy, Lizzy"

"No Jane you are wrong, Mr Darcy could find many a fault about me. For that I am certain!"

"Lizzy you are to hard upon yourself. I am sure Mr Darcy would be horrified if he heard what you were saying" Jane admonished.

"Perhaps"

"Oh Lizzy, I know nothing I can say will convince you! You must talk to him about it; they will be here any second now"

I could not help it; my heart beat sped up at the thought of seeing Mr Darcy again. It had been a whole 12 hours since I had last seen him, and it had been far too long.

"Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy are just half a mile away ma'am"

I heard Hill say this to mama, and not two seconds the door of the parlour flew open, and mama ran in.

"Oh Jane, Lizzy. Your fiancés are approaching and you both do not look fit to be seen, although Jane I suppose you look presentable, but Lizzy. It is a wonder that Mr Darcy is marrying you, and you are not to say a word to put him off. Do you hear? Of course if Jane were not so obviously attached to Mr Bingley, and him to her. I am sure Mr Darcy would have snatched Jane right up without a second thought to you Lizzy. You were probably his second choice Lizzy, but he has accepted second best well. It is a shame though because I would have thought Mr Darcy would have preferred a wife like Jane, and she would be a more suitably wife for him to. She is so much more attractive than you Lizzy; I am sorry to tell you this Lizzy but without good looks you will not keep Mr Darcy interested for long. If he had married Jane or even Lydia or Kitty, he would have found a more suitable wife. But who am I to complain, to have three daughters married I shall go distracted."

Was mama right? Was I second best? I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes. How could I face Mr Darcy when I was in this state?

I quickly looked pleadingly at Jane but she had already known I was in distress.

"Lizzy you are looking a little unwell, perhaps you would like to rest"

Before I could even answer mama cried out in outrage

"A little unwell! Rest!"

"Yes Jane" I answered completely ignoring my mama. I could not look at her right now, not after she had said those awful things. "I am feeling a bit under the weather"

Which was true I did feel like that!

"Under the weather! Under the weather! Pray tell me child what am I to tell Mr Darcy!"

"Tell him I am under the weather!"

With that I quickly turned before my mama could protest with tears streaming down my face, I could not let my mama know she had got to me. I just could not. I could not let Mr Darcy see me like this.

Before I was thinking quite happy thoughts about him, but now when I think of him I see Jane. Was this why he hesitated to kiss me? Did he wish he could kiss Jane instead? Oh Lizzy it will do no good thinking so.

I turned the knob of the door, and practically ran out of the room and into the hall. Jane quickly followed me.

I bumped literally into the one man I did not wish to see.

"Lizzy, do not listen to mama she does not know what she is about!"

The words only vaguely registered in my head, the feeling of being held in Mr Darcy's arms was so over whelming I could not utter a word. I just stood there staring at him, willing him to not let me go. I noticed that my tears had stopped but as soon as he let me go they started to pour again.

I looked up to see that Mr Darcy looked extremely alarmed, and I noticed him glance at Jane, and I began to cry even harder.

"No, no, Lizzy. Do not listen to mama! It was wrong of her to speak so. Lizzy she hardly even used to upset you, because you rarely listened. Why bother to listen now Lizzy after all these years, especially when she has no idea what she is talking about?"

"Because…because" I Elizabeth Bennet was actually lost for words. Oh dear, I looked around me to find that Mr Darcy, and Jane were staring at me in shock and concern. But poor Mr Bingley just looked thoroughly confused. When Jane and Darcy glanced at each other again I could not stand it. I know I was over reacting but when one has a fiancé like Mr Darcy, you do become wary of your own sex.

"Excuse me"

I ran past them trying to get up the stairs, but Mr Darcy gently caught my arm.

"Miss Bennet"

Miss Bennet! Miss Bennet! Why could he not call me Elizabeth? I turned towards Jane.

"See? Miss Bennet!"

"Oh Lizzy. It is your name though is it not?"

"Well yes" I was still crying I was surprised that Jane even understood what I was saying.

Then I added more politely and civilly

"If you will excuse me, Mr Darcy, Mr Bingley, Jane" I curtsied, and walked slowly up the stairs. I wanted Mr Darcy to stop me but he did not. I needed a rest, and I had probably scared him away anyway.

I took a deep breath and fell on my bed, but instead of feeling relief I felt anguish. Why had he not tried to comfort or reassure me? Probably because he had no idea what was happening. Although Jane had probably told him what happened, why had he not come up still?

I closed my eyes a little nap would not hurt.

I looked around and Mr Darcy was sitting on my bed.

"Elizabeth, I love you"

That bit sounded so real, and felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Then I heard footsteps and a door closing.

"Yes" I replied.

"But it is not in the way you think"

His voice did not sound real now, and the warm and fuzziness had left me

"What?" I replied hoarsely

"I cannot go through with this charade any longer, Elizabeth I love you like a sister. It is Jane who I adore, but Bingley got there first"

Then my mama suddenly came out of no where

"I told you Lizzy! It was Jane he wanted all along. I am very sorry you had to find out this way, but I did warn you"

"But Mr Darcy I love you!"

I woke in a cold sweat, and I was crying my eyes out.

"Lizzy, Lizzy what is the matter" cried Kitty running in.

"Oh Kitty it was just an awful, awful nightmare"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes thank you Kitty"

"Are you sure Lizzy because you look like you are burning up?"

"I can assure you I am fine"

"Mr Darcy is downstairs you know"

"Yes I know. Is he enjoying himself?"

"Yes I believe he is. He is at ease with everyone Lizzy; I have never seen him so" she said dreamily. Did Kitty like Mr Darcy?

"Oh good"

"He also got stuck under the mistletoe"

"WHAT!"

"Oh Lizzy, calm down. It was only with Jane"

Jane! I felt sick.

"Excuse me Kitty I've just got to go to the kitchen for some water"

I do not hear Kitty reply, I was trying to get out of the room fast before I was physically sick

"Okay Lizzy, but Mr Darcy only kissed Jane on her hand,"

I flew down the steps, and yet again bumped into and fell into Mr Darcy's arms. Must I keep doing that? It felt entirely too nice for my peace of mind.

"Miss Bennet"

I groaned in frustration and anger.

"Miss Bennet!" I yelled.

I tried to move out of his grasp but he only held on tighter. Why wouldn't he let go?

"Mr Darcy!"

"Miss Bennet, will you please stop wriggling!" He growled

"Why?" I immediately argued back.

"Because I said so"

I ceased my wriggling but he still held on, very tightly. It felt too good to be in his arms, and probably all the while he was pretending I was Jane.

"Let me go!"

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because"

I screamed in anger, but it was somewhat muffled by his waistcoat.

Then suddenly I felt weak, I knew this was a battle I would not win.

"Mr Darcy, will you please let me go" I asked quietly

"Why are you fighting me so Miss Bennet"

I plucked all my courage and replied

"Because I know your secret, the thing you have been hiding from me"

"You do!"

He was admitting it. I looked at him to find he looked extremely alarmed, probably because I had just found out he wanted to marry my sister

"Yes"

"I am sorry Miss Bennet; I did not wish to scare you away by telling you. How long have you known?"

"Since today"

"Oh"

"How long have you thought this?"

"Ever since we got engaged even before"

"Before!" I managed to free myself from his arms. "Before"

"Yes"

"You became engaged to me, even when you knew this"

"Yes!"

"Then why become engaged to me?"

How could he do this? I loved him with my whole heart.

Mr Darcy just looked thoroughly confused

"Because I wanted to become engaged to you"

"Oh so you are fine with marrying your second choice" I burst out crying

"Second choice? What on earth are you talking about?"

"You just admitted it"

"What?"

"Excuse me Mr Darcy. I am sorry Mr Bingley got there before you did"

With that I turned and fled up the stairs again. I heard footsteps behind me, I did not feel like talking to any of my sisters. I quickly shut my door, and lay myself down on the bed and buried my face in the pillows sobbing. I heard someone knocking gently on my door, and then letting themselves in.

They sat on the edge of my bed.

"I do not feeling like talking Jane"

"Elizabeth" replied a deep voice.

I turned round in shock

"Mr Darcy!"

The man in question was actually looking around my room with curiosity and interest.

"Mr Darcy, I trust you did not come here to examine my room's contents. Why are you here?"

His expression softened when he looked at me, and he reached out and started stroking my cheek.

"Elizabeth, Elizabeth" he murmured over and over again.

Elizabeth! Why did he have to start calling me Elizabeth now? Was it because I knew what he felt towards Jane, and he still did not wish to loose me? Oh teasing, teasing man

"Why are you here Mr Darcy?" I demanded

"Elizabeth, you misinterpreted what I meant"

"What"

"I did not realise you were talking about something completely different than I was thinking about"

"Mmh?"

"Elizabeth, the secret you think I have been hiding is of an entirely different nature to the secret you think I am hiding. Does that make any sense?"

"A little bit"

"Right well I will explain further. I will also explain my actions over the past couple of months. You see after I had seen you a few hours ago. I decided to ask Miss Bennet what was wrong"

I shuddered

"Elizabeth, are you alright."

Yes I am, please continue"

"She told me Mrs Bennet had said some awful things but she did not tell me what. I was hoping you would tell me, so I asked her not to."

"Why did you not say anything then, why follow me up now?"

"I did come up, but not straight away. I did not wish to frighten you; I came up when you were asleep"

"Why did you not awaken me?"

"I thought you needed a rest! You looked so peaceful; I did tell you I loved you though"

"Yes I vaguely remember hearing something like that, but I thought it was just my dream."

"You dreamt about me?" He sounded entirely too pleased with himself.

"Yes, but it turned into a nightmare"

"What"

"Oh it does not matter"

"Okay, but I will get it out of you somehow. Now Elizabeth I want you to tell me what your mama said, and I also want you to tell me anything else"

"Where do you wish me to start?"

"With your mama"

"Please do not interrupt"

"But"

"Promise me"

I told him that I thought he did not want to kiss me, his face at that point went a bit red, and his eyes glazed over. I told him what mama had said, and how it made me start to think, he tried to interrupt then but I refused, I looked at him and he looked so angry.

I then told him how hurt I was when he did not seem concerned, and how Kitty had told me that he was enjoying himself immensely, and about him kissing Jane. At this point though he interrupted me, and very forcibly.

"Elizabeth!"

"What"

"I did not kiss Miss Bennet"

"So you are not in love with my sister, and I am not your second choice?"

"No!"

"Oh okay, I am entirely convinced."

I made to leave but he grabbed hand again and pulled me to him.

"Mr Darcy…."

He kissed before I could continue, and quite thoroughly to. It felt incredible, it made me tingle all over, and I did not want him to stop. Unfortunately he did eventually, and after two minutes, he asked me quite hoarsely

"May I answer all you questions or well statements. And I will tell you my secret also?"

I nodded breathlessly.

"Elizabeth, what your mother said was absolutely ridiculous. I would never want your sister for my wife, and I certainly would not want Miss Lydia, or Miss Kitty. All I want is you; you will be all I will ever want. I will never tire of you, I will always remain faithful, and I will love you unconditionally for the rest of my life. I am pleased that Miss Jane is marrying Bingley, my only regret about that is that they could have been married sooner. I did not kiss your sister; well I did but only on the hand. As far as you and I go on the kissing, it was because I did wish to get carried away and frighten you. I am sorry to report now Lizzy that now I have had one kiss, I will have to have many more. I have wished to kiss you for such a long time Elizabeth, even longer than I can remember. If you ever feel the need for a kiss, please do not hesitate to come to me."

I gasped. "Mr Darcy!"

He just merely smiled and continued.

"I was not enjoying myself Elizabeth while I was downstairs, the only reason I was at ease was because I thought you were sleeping peacefully, if I would have known you felt anymore turmoil I would have come immediately. Do I make any sense? Have you understood me?"

"Yes, you do not love my sister, and you did want to kiss me, but you have not told me your secret"

"My secret? Oh yes my secret. I am afraid, Lizzy that you will not approve"

"Why ever not"

"Well I have long since considered eloping with you Elizabeth"

"Eloping?"

"I know I felt terrible thinking about it, all I could think about though when I was with Wickham and Lydia was I wish this could be me and Elizabeth."

"Why did you not tell me this before?"

"Because I knew it would offend you, and I did not wish to scare you away"

"Offend me! You thought that thinking about eloping would offend me!"

"Yes I did not want you to think I was like Wickham in any shape or form"

I started to laugh, we really had misinterpreted each other's actions. I then noticed he was frowning, and I thought of a wonderful idea. I leaned and kissed him again. This time Darcy broke away.

"Mr Darcy"

"Must you call me that Elizabeth?"

"What else am I to call you?"

"William, I have longed to hear it from you lips."

"William, I love you with all my heart."

"Perfect, now I demand that will be how you greet me from now on and of course with a kiss as well"

They stayed as they were, whispering to each other contentedly. Until Mrs Bennet's voice was heard asking after them both.

"Oh where is Lizzy?"

"I don't know ma'am"

"Where is Mr Darcy?"

"I don't know where he is either ma'am"

"Hill, Hill you must find them"

"Lizzy my dearest I think we must go down"

"Yes William"

We both walked from my room, and down the stairs. It wasn't until we reached the dining room that William removed his arm from his waist. I was quietly mourning the lost, when suddenly he grabbed my hand and placed a loving kiss on it.

"Until we are alone again, Elizabeth."

I went in before William did so not to cause any gossip and Jane smiled brightly as soon as she saw me. I walked towards her

"You are looking very happy Lizzy"

"Indeed I am Jane"

"Am I to understand that you and Mr Darcy have reconciled?"

"Yes Jane indeed we have. You were right thought Jane"

"How so?"

"He did want to kiss me"

"Yes Lizzy I think everyone knew that. Lizzy you are practically glowing, and may I add so is Mr Darcy"

I felt my cheeks burn.

"He is?"

"Yes, and he is also talking to mama"

"What?"

I turned around so fast I nearly fell off my chair. The whole room had gone quiet to; they were obviously as shocked as Jane and I at seeing Darcy conversing with mama. I listened intently to what he was saying.

"Oh Mrs Bennet, you must be very proud to have a daughter as beautiful as Miss Elizabeth"

"Miss Elizabeth?"

"Indeed, she is probably one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance"

"I suppose Miss Jane is one to?"

"Miss Jane is very pretty, but in my eyes Elizabeth is even more beautiful."

Mama gasped in shock, and muttered "Quite"

"Mrs Bennet, I am forever in your gratitude"

"How so sir"

"For bringing my lovely Elizabeth into the world, indeed I could never find a more suitable or better wife"

I blushed when he looked at me when he said that. I was shocked that he was speaking his emotions to my mama.

"If you will excuse me Mrs Bennet. I will go and sit with my wonderful fiancé"

Mama merely nodded.

He turned caught my hand in his, and kissed it, and spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"I love you Elizabeth"

"I love you to William with my whole heart"

Needless to say Mrs Bennet never spoke a word again about Elizabeth's beauty, or Darcy's and Elizabeth's affection for each other.

I hope you enjoyed and understood this. I hope it was not to confusing.

If you liked it please tell me

Thank you

Livdarcy

This may be edited again soon