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Minerva's Secret

Reflections

Minerva, with her feet tucked under her, sat on the huge windowsill watching the rain pour down from the cloudy sky. The wind howled and the darkness was lightened by flashes of lightning accompanied by loud clashes of thunder. The weather made it a miserable day and it suited Minerva's mood. She reflected on recent events and the whether suited her just fine!

The students of Hogwarts had left yesterday after Albus Dumbledore's funeral. Students and staff had been devastating by his death which was to be expected, he was, after all, one of the greatest wizards the magical world has ever known. But what the grieved people of Hogwarts and most of the witches and wizards in the magical world didn't know was that he really wasn't dead.

He was still alive and watching through the shadows. It was an elaborate plan that he had orchestrated to draw out Voldemort's supporters and to help prepare Harry for what he must do. The plan had worked for the most part, Harry had left to search for more Horocruxs and Snape had showed his true colors or at least which side he held his loyalty. He was indeed on the Dark Lord's side and now the Order and everyone else knew.

Yes Albus' plan had work, but she wondered, at what cost? The magical world had thought him to be dead with the exception of a few people in the Order. He had entrusted her to run Hogwarts when or if it even reopened next year. She didn't think she could run Hogwarts without him but he insisted that she could do it. He also secured the position of being the leader of the Order of the Phoenix for her as well. She thought that Moody would have been a better candidate for the job but he obviously saw something that she did not. Well that was the least of her worries now.

The night Albus had faked his death; he had come to her bedchambers. He wanted her to know, if he didn't make it back, that he had loved her from the first moment he had saw her and would continue to do so until he took his last breathe in this life. She had cried at his declaration and then collapsed into his arms. She had yearn to hear that for eighteen long years, now she knew that she had to be completely truthful with him as well. It was time to let him in on her secret and hope that he wouldn't despise her.

She squirmed out of his embrace so she could look straight into his eyes. In an emotion roughened voice she started, "Albus I love you so much. I have dreamed of you saying that to me but I have to be completely honest with you."

He looked at her, confusion clearly etched on his features. He waited for her to continue, hoping she would explain what she was talking about. He watched as she retrieved a pensive and a bottle of silvery substance. Memories he thought. "Eighteen years ago you told me the same thing, you declared your love for me and I used a spell to erase the day's activities."

She directed his attention to the pensive, poured her memories in and watched as the truth was revealed to him. Albus was shocked and angry that she would do such a thing. He would have never suspect Minerva of doing something like this but here was the evidence right in front of him. He watched all of the memories before he asked, "Why?"

She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face before answering. "Times were so dark and I knew that you couldn't afford to be distracted by me. I thought if you didn't remember what we had shared that you would have a better stance against Voldemort and his supporters. For a while I was sure that I had done the right thing. You didn't have any distractions with a new wife and I knew that since we declared our love and married on the same day, in secret no less, no one would be suspicious about your missing memories of one day. I knew how you truly felt about me, I mean you loved me enough to marry me, and I thought that knowledge would be enough for the time being. Yes, I missed you terribly but I just knew that I had made the right decision. But then a few months later I found out I was pregnant."

Albus visibly paled and went weak in the knees. Minerva quickly caught him and managed to sit him in the nearest couch. He couldn't believe this, Minerva was actually telling him that they had had a child, or did they? She had erased his memories of their wedding day maybe she decided not to have the baby. He had to know and asked.

She smiled and retrieved another bottle of memories. She observed his face as he watched her memories. His face shone with wonder as he watched her pregnancy advance and then watched her give birth to their daughter. He cried when he watched her talk to the baby, telling her of him, how he would adore her and love her. Then he watched as she gave her away. He could see how it had hurt her, to be honest it devastated her, to give their child away but he understood the reason. She had been forced to give their daughter away to protect her from Voldemort. If he were to ever know she had a child, he would surely target it. Minerva had been a thorn in Voldemort's side for many years, she had captured many of his supporters as an Auror, he would take his revenge if the opportunity presented itself.

He started to wonder if she knew where their daughter was now or how she was doing, so he asked her. She nodded that she did then offered, "Yes I've always known. I do not believe I could have been separated from her if I didn't know where she was or that she was safe. Before I signed away my parental rights I asked the adopting couple if they would send me reports on how she was progressing. They agreed and sent letters with pictures of her every other month. Of course her first eleven years were hard for me but when she came to Hogwarts I was ecstatic, I was able to watch her myself."

"She's here at Hogwarts?"

Minerva saw the hopeful glint in his eyes and nodded. "It's Hermione."

He was quiet for a few moments, so quiet that Minerva thought he wasn't going to respond. Finally he said, "I always suspected she was not of muggle descendent, she's too powerful for that. She's wonderful and I'm glad she's ours. Does she know?"

She sadly shook her head. "She knows she's adopted but she has no idea of who her parents are. I have wanted to tell her a million times but I don't dare. I cannot take the chance of word getting back to Voldemort. I would not be able to handle it if something happened to her."

"I know Tabby."

Moments were spent staring into the fire. Minerva was fidgety and Albus guessed the reason behind it. She was waiting for forgiveness or rejection, for anything but the silence. He sought to ease her with his softly spoken words. "Minerva you thought you were doing the best thing for all of us, I could never, will never, judge you for that. You did not have to let me in on your secret tonight but you did and I'm grateful for that."

She sighed in relief and fled into his outstretched arms. "I love you so much Albus."

"I know Minerva. Now unless you have any objections I am going to take my wife to bed and make love to her. I've been deprived for too long."

Her laugh was cut short by his passionate kiss. She responded immediately and didn't notice that he had swept her up in his arms until her back was against the mattress of the bed. They spent the entire night showing each other how they felt and then doing it all over again. When dawn broke through the darkness, he left her and she didn't know when she would see him again. He was hers and she was his for all time and nothing was going to change that, not now, not ever.

Minerva shook herself from her recollections and moved from the windowsill. She wanted to run to Albus' embrace and never leave but now was not the time. It was time for her to go lead the Order just like Albus had planned. She picked up her bag and left for the Order's secret headquarters hoping that she would be able to see Albus soon.