Dear Lexi

Fandom: Wizards Vs Aliens

Rating: T - one use of mild language

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Tom/Lexi

Word count: 994

Spoiler warning for 02x14

Summary: *SET AFTER SERIES 2 FINALE* Tom writes a letter to Lexi to explain why he did what he did. Spoilers for S2. Tom/Lexi ONESHOT.

A.N: Just something I wrote on my phone during a long car journey, after watching the finale again and being depressed (dammit, it was so emotional! But then, so was The Thirteenth Floor and Endless Night...I cried at both...) DISCLAIMER, as usual, I own nothing.

Dear Lexi,

I'm not usually one for writing letters, especially at two in the morning, but I think I owe you an explanation of some kind. Please excuse the scruffy handwriting; writing by torchlight has its drawbacks.

Not that you'll ever read this. I don't even know your address, or where you are, and, even if I did know it, I'd copy this out again in the morning and make it neater. I mean, the only reason I have the paper to even write this letter on is because of Dad and Gran. They came into my room yesterday and handed me this paper, and told me to write down my feelings, since "it's clear that you don't feel like you can talk about this with us, Thomas".

So, thanks to their wonderful "support", I'm sitting here, at two in the morning, writing down my feelings.

I don't know the first moment when I realised that I was in love with you. I think it was when I saw you eat a chocolate bar whole...Or it might have been when you practically took Quinn out with a football. Like I said, I'm not sure. But, anyway, I saw you that day, and thought you were quirky, interesting, different from everyone else (more true than I first realised, I might add), someone I wanted to know...I spent five minutes with you, and I had a little bit of a crush on you. Okay, maybe a lot. I read about that happening in the Shakespeare plays we have to study in English; I always thought it was a load of crap. Soon proved myself wrong, of course.

And, then, we got captured by Gaunt, and I saw it was you...I looked disgusted, but that wasn't because of you. I was disgusted with myself. Because, there I was, the wizard...what do you call us? Halfling? Yeah, the wizard halfling, who had sworn to stop you and your pain-in-the-neck brother (sorry, but, it's true) and not five minutes before that, I had been thinking thoughts that you probably shouldn't be thinking when looking at your enemy. I mean, how was I supposed to deal with this?...You tried to eat me!

When we worked together to save ourselves, I fell even harder. At the time, I had gotten it into my head that the girl I had started to like didn't exist, but, when I spoke to you - really spoke to you - I realised that I was an idiot. She was you, Lexi. Even without your human-guise on, you were still Lucy; in fact, you were Lucy and so much more than that. You still are now.

When Benny told me about his "genius" virus for your extractor, I saw an easy way out. You would go home, unharmed, wizards would stop being eaten, and no one would ever have to find out about my *little* infatuation with you. But, well, I guess I should have known. Nothing is ever simple when it comes to you and me.

When I saw you on that screen, freezing to death, I didn't know what to think, feel...I should have been happy, relieved, even...but I wasn't. I was scared - scared for you, scared of what the situation was doing to everyone, scared of how you made me feel, even back then.

Benny knew. He saw right through me and my feeble excuses that day; I could tell by the 'this-cannot-be-happening-but-it-is' smile on his face. But, he went along with the lies, for all our sakes, and I'm grateful for that. I'm not sure what Gran would have done if she'd have found out about this that day. She's not particularly thrilled about it now.

Anyway, I guess I'd better get to the point of this letter. I want to explain why I did what I did that day - the last day I saw you, the day everything (nearly) went to hell.

I'd been thinking about a solution like this for a while - thinking about it a lot, I'm embarrassed to admit. I had it in my head that, if I turned you human (somehow), it would solve all our problems. It wasn't some great plan, just wistful thinking...very wistful thinking, I might add. Benny had to slap me a few times, because I slipped into a daydream one too many times during double maths.

When you were...dying...and I drank the salute to save you, it was the only thing I could think of. I can't tell you what exactly was going through my head - I don't remember it myself - but, what I did, I did out of love for you...and because I'm selfish, Lexi. I was too selfish to live with the knowledge that you were gone, that I would never see you again, and so I chose not to.

But, well, fat lot of good it did me. Now, you're somewhere far away, and I'm stuck here, trying to move on with life, to keep going, but...how can I? How can I carry on, Lexi, when half my heart, half of myself, half my soul, is somewhere far away with you?

I couldn't control what the salute did to me - I couldn't control where exactly I sent you. That's why I brought back Benny Junior. Even if we can't be together face to face, and I can't be there to see you smile, we can still be together, and you will still be happy, with our brilliant, wonderful son - half like me (my good looks, obviously), and half like you. He has your compassion, your strength. It's why I love him so much...it's one of the reasons I love you so much.

That was the real point of this letter. I love you, Lexi, until the day I die, and beyond that. And, as soon as I find you again, I am never going to stop telling you that.

Love forever,

Tom x