Our Dead Baby
A/N – This story was originally a one-shot but it was just getting way too long so I decided to cut it up into six parts. (Six chapters basically) It was VERY sad and if you're one of those emotional people, who can't cope with sad stories, please don't read on. Also this story isn't really about HOW Draco and Hermione fell in love but rather how they can fall BACK in love after their child's death. Anyway I hope you like it! Love Sara4Harry xox
Part 1 – The Past Always Haunts
It had been four years. Four sad, terrible, lonely years. Their baby, their beautiful baby girl had been dead four long years. Hermione could barely believe that time had passed so quickly. In fact she found it cruel that the years had passed so quickly. The world had stopped moving when their daughter had died. She had been the apple of her parents' eyes. Nothing she had done had been wrong and there was nothing they would have denied her. They had adored her.
Tears rolled down Hermione's cheeks as she looked at the headstone which had engraved, 'Our little Angel. Katie Narcissa Malfoy' The dates of her birth and death then followed. There was a small picture of baby Katie, who had only been two when she had died. Her cute blonde ringlets framed her face, her chocolate brown eyes sparkled with life and of course her brilliant smile shone from her lips.
Next to Hermione stood Draco Malfoy, her sworn enemy at school, her true love not long afterwards. He had been shattered by his daughter's death just as much as Hermione had been. They had not had any more children for fear that it they too would be snatched to cruelly away from them.
"She died because she was too perfect for this world." Hermione muttered for the millionth time to herself. Draco smiled weakly. Yes, little Katie had been perfect. Smart, beautiful, and as feisty and stubborn as her parents were. It hurt both of them to think of the life she could have led. She would have been the smartest witch in her year, just like her mother had been and also the most sought after like her father had been. A perfect mix of both of them.
"Come on Hermione, we better get back into the house." Draco whispered. He did not want to leave but if they did not he was sure Hermione would only begin to cry uncontrollably. When this happened nothing would or could soothe her. The pain of losing a child was too great for Hermione. As headstrong as she was, her heart was easy prey to pain and suffering.
She nodded and silently they walked away from the cave and made their way across the beach. The sand dug in between their toes and the waves crashed against the shore. The wind had picked up. Hermione's long hair blew into the air. She made no effort to hold it down, even though it whipped her face painfully. Instead she embraced the pain. She had allowed her child to die and for that she deserved even the smallest amount of pain.
Everything had changed when Katie had died. Draco and Hermione barely spoke and only did so when it was necessary. Draco had tried to get their lives back on track but no matter what he did nothing could revoke the happiness they once knew. Their large house, which overlooked the ocean, was devoid of joy and light. Instead it was filed with despair and darkness. The curtains had not been opened since Katie had died. The darkness comforted them both.
Once they arrived at their beach mansion, Hermione as per normal retired to the bedroom. Draco went and sat in the library. Another consequence of Katie's death was that Draco and Hermione did not share a room. But it was not the sex that Draco missed but just having Hermione smiling and happy. She was a shadow of her old self. He could hear her cry herself to sleep every night and each time he wished he could hold her and tell her it was going to be okay. But she recoiled from his touch. She was afraid to be near anybody. She blamed herself for Katie's death. She thought that if she got too close she'd kill someone else.
Frustrated Draco threw the book he had only been pretending to read upon the desk. He held his head in his hands and let out an angry sigh. He could think of nothing to ease the pain. He had approached all manner of people ranging from muggles to wizards all to no avail. Their situation was hopeless. He looked to the closed curtains, stood and opened it. He looked out into the darkness of the crashing ocean.
Suicide.
He had contemplated it more than once. But what use was he dead? He had vowed to look after Hermione in sickness and in health. Was this not like a sickness? She needed him, even if she did not say it. He needed her, she needed him. But why couldn't they move on from Katie's tragic death. The answers eluded Draco.
He remembered the day Hermione and he had brought this house. The same brilliant smile Katie's photo showed had been on Hermione's face. She had loved the beach so he had decided to buy the house for her so she could visit it anytime she wanted. It had also been the same day that Hermione had found out that she had been expecting. The day that Katie had been born had been the happiest day of his life. He could not remember ever being more excited. A baby, his and Hermione's baby. It was a miracle.
Now the joy was all gone, little Katie was gone and so was Hermione. Draco was almost convinced that Hermione had followed Katie in death, as she showed no signs of life. She was like an empty shell with no soul. Nothing remained except this house and the beach.
"Katie!" Hermione's voice bellowed. Draco continued to stare out the window, believing he had imagined it.
"Katie, I'm coming baby, I'm coming!" Hermione's voice carried out through the house. This time Draco turned around and raced down the stairs to the room Hermione occupied.
He saw Hermione throw on a coat over her pink pajamas and race to the front door in her bare feet. Draco stood rooted to the spot, blinking hard, unable to comprehend what was going on. Why was Hermione screaming out for Katie as though she was alive? And why was she running out of the house in the middle of a storm? A storm!
"Hermione!" Draco screamed after her, finally understanding one thing. She would catch her death outside. He raced out the front door and onto the beach.
The rain hit him like a thousand knives were stabbing him. He struggled to keep on his feet because the wind was so strong. The heavy rain blurred his sight. Thunder clapped from the sky above. Where was she?
"Hermione!" he cried out again, barely hearing his own voice. He slowly forced his way against the wind and through the sand. He had no idea where to go or where she would go. This was the first time she had done something so spontaneous…apart from marrying him of course.
Then he could hear another cry that sounded awfully like Hermione's. He could not make out what she had said though. He tried calling out to her again. The cold was numbing his body. His clothes were stuck to him like a second skin. The waves were crashing and together with the noise they made, the thunder, the lightning and then rain Draco had no chance of hearing Hermione. There was one thing he did know. The storm was getting worse.
Heart hammering Draco continued on his fruitless journey. He could not lose her, not after all they had been through. He loved her. 'Oh Merlin, where is she?' he thought.
"Hermione! Where are you?" Draco bellowed with every ounce of energy he could muster. His voice was ready to crack. He knew that if he did not return to the house soon, he'd surely catch his death.
Not far along Draco felt himself knock into something solid. He blindly reached out to fell what it was and realized he had found her. She was on her knees, hair plastered to her face by the rain, her arms outstretched and her face completely content.
"Hermione!" he cried, his heart doing backflips for joy. He grabbed hold of one of her arms and was surprised when she shoved him off.
"Katie! Katie come to Mummy! Where are you Kitty Kat?" Hermione cried in a motherly tone. Draco's mind flashed back to the moment Katie had taken her first steps.
Hermione had her arms outstretched, her hands were beckoning the curly blonde girl of one years to walk to her.
"Come on Kitty Kat, come to Mummy. Walk to Mummy." Hermione had smiled. Katie had giggled and not only took her first steps but ran to Hermione who caught her and gave her a big hug.
Draco was thrown back into the present time. Hermione was crawling as fast as she could across the sand.
"No wait!" Draco cried, trying to grab hold of her arm, her ankle or anything but she was going too fast. "Stop, Hermione stop!"
She continued without a second glance back. He could hear her calls more clearly now. The thunder had stopped for the moment.
"Kitty, Katie sweetheart stop your crying. Mummy is here Mummy is here!" Hermione was screeching out to the open beach.
Draco was frightened. He had never been scared in his life, apart from the day Katie had died. Hermione was insane. It had to be so. She had lost her mind.
She stopped, her hands leaning against the sand as she bowed her head low and began to sob uncontrollably. Draco reached her, pulled her from the waist and begged, "Hermione, let's go back to the house! We have to go back! You'll die out here, we'll both die!" She made no sign that she had heard him but she allowed him to stand her up and walk her back in the direction of the beach house.
"Katie's dead Draco. She's dead. It's all my fault." She sobbed, her voice rattling. She was shaking like a leaf and he imagined so was he. It was absolutely freezing. He could feel his teeth chattering.
"It's not your fault." Draco told her and not for the first time either. Hermione as she always had refused to believe him.
"No, no it's my fault. She's dead because of me!" she screamed.
Draco shook his head, "It's not, it's my fault. I should have never bought this house. It was too dangerous to raise a child near the water. It's my fault."
They finally reached the house, dripping and shivering. Draco took Hermione with him when he got some towels, afraid that she would run off again. She kept muttering 'my fault'. He did not correct her anymore but assured, "You're going to be alright. We're getting towels. You'll be warm and you'll be fine." He grabbed two towels and wrapped the first around her shoulders and the other around his own.
"Dr…Dr…Draco, it's so…so…c…cold." Hermione stammered, teeth still chattering. Draco rubbed his hands up and down her bare arms. The coat she had put on had been lost on the beach.
"I know it's cold, but you'll be warm now. You'll be okay." He told her, trying to convince himself rather than Hermione.
He sat her in a couch near the fire in the common room. She was like ice to touch and he feared that if he did not warm her soon she would die of hypothermia or pneumonia.
He continued to rub his hands on her arms against her wishes, "You're hurting me!" she managed to snap. But he only shook his head at her and continued.
"What were you doing out there in the storm?" Draco demanded. It was obvious to him but he wanted to know if she knew.
"Katie was crying for me. She's scared of the dark Draco." Hermione told him. The fear in Draco's heart intensified. Only moments before she had insisted Katie's death was her fault and now she was speaking as though Katie were alive again.
"Katie's dead Hermione!" he yelled in her face, his eyebrows drawn in fury. Hermione was not insane. She was not insane! She could not be insane! It couldn't be true! She had always been the sanest one at school. It wasn't possible that Hermione Granger was insane.
But it was possible.
"No she's not. She was crying of me." Hermione told him, the truth in her eyes told him that she honestly believed that their little Katie had been crying for her.
Perhaps she was going onto another stage of mourning? She was reliving moments of the past? Whatever it was it was unnerving him immensely.
He carried her to her bed and slipped under the sheets beside her. She was instantly asleep but sleep could not overcome him. It was the first time in four years that he had been so close to her. Just to be allowed to put his arms around her while she slept was amazing.
"I love you." He whispered to her, receiving no response in return.
They had gone through what no parent should ever have to endure; the loss of a child. But their suffering and self-blame had gone on long enough. Draco was determined to set their lives straight. He was even more determined to win Hermione's heart back, before he lost her entirely.