Disclaimer: shoots lawyers Dun own Jak and Daxter, DUH!
Whoo! Long one this is. Oo I sound like Yoda. Any who, meant to get this thing up weeks ago. Normally I can whip these up in 30 mins. but the magic seemed to escape me on this one and as a result I'm not as happy with this one as previous submissions. Same goes for the third Chap. Of 'All That's Left when Everything Else is Gone'. I may be taking a break from writing while I let my creative juices re-vamp. I kinda had a harder time concentrating with this one and I worried it isn't up to par with the previous three parts. This one also made a serious jump in length and file size, I had a lot to say in this one and I hope I got it all down right with out it seeming cramped.
Edit: finally figured out what was wrong with this thing. The whole mood was slightly off from the song. Avril's song was a bit to bouncy and although I liked the song I didn't quite fit the way I hoped. Anyway I was looking through my media player for the song to go with part V - likely to be the last in the series unless I push the events into a sixth part and doing something different for the fifth – when I found this song and instead of fitting with the next installment it jumped at me as the previous. Hey, you gotta be flexible. Nothing has changed except for the lyrics.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
how can you see into my eyes like
open doors
leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb without a soul
my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home
It is times like this that make me rethink everything that I've done since breaking out of prison.
All the people I've killed, the lives I've destroyed, all for the sake of revenge against one man.
But now… after everything… I have to wonder if I can keep doing this
One man that I thought I could trust
The one I thought could help me not with my vendetta
But help me remember how to love like a normal person
But that's not possible now
I can't bring myself to be in the same room as him
Last time I saw him was after the failed mission to get the precursor stone
I was cold to him, brushed him off and walked away
Saved those caught and found out there are two Samos the sage
Freaky, no?
What's even stranger is that the Samos I knew is from the past and His younger self is from the future
Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I try not to think about it too much
Just gives me a fucking headache
But it's better that the ache in my chest that won't go away.
I love Torn and I hate him just as much.
He betrayed the underground
betrayed me.
All for the spawn of Baron fucking Praxis
Sometimes I think maybe I wouldn't be so upset if it had been me he protected instead of her.
I think I would still be mad
Because I can take care of myself, because I want them to come after me
All the more bastards to kill
He knows it and I don't think he regrets it
So I can't face him, even as I destroy any chance of us working things out
I just
can't care right now
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
But even so, if he wanted to patch things up wouldn't he seek me out?
Do I mean that little to him? All that time…
Nothing but a fucking charade!
But what could have he got out of it? Making out and some heavy petting? He wanted more I know that.
As much as I loved him I couldn't take that last step
Torn never pushed the matter and I'm grateful
I guess he just decided it was to much work to get into my pants
Too skittish to be touched
I hate that, I really do
After I kill Praxis I'm gunna take Erol apart one piece at a time!
I faced him, not three days ago
Krew wanted me to throw the race
I refused and the next thing I knew I had the monster in my dreams right in my face
One of the monsters anyway…
Somehow I kept from freaking out right there, it was all I could do and he knew it
The fact that I wasn't alone helped, otherwise I couldn't have done it.
I beat him in a race and it felt wonderful
beat him at the one thing he loves most and I'll do it again in the first class race
Humiliate him in front of everyone for all the times he destroyed me.
I'll remind him of that moment as I kill him, but I'll cut off his dick first.
A fitting justice
Oh yeah… I threw up in the bushes outside the stadium
now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life
I wasn't being truthful when I said I hadn't seen Torn
I see him every time I get my orders from Samos
He doesn't say anything and neither do I
I don't think I could say anything to him anyway without breaking down
So, to avoid such a pathetic display I leave just as quickly as I come
I haven't slept at the hideout since then either
Much to Daxter's irritation
But that was quickly solved when I suggested he go stay with Tess
He has such a one track mind
This is how I find myself parked in a stolen flyer under the bridge in the port
And it's raining buckets; so long as the wind doesn't change I'll stay reasonably dry
I don't care that I'm shivering, that I haven't been this cold since my first night in prison after-
No, I won't think about it
Just like I won't think about the invisible bruises all over my body
Yeah, Dark's beating me again
It wasn't so bad for a long time, now since Torn and I split Dark's been getting progressively worse.
I don't want to go to sleep anymore. It's wearing me down. Dark rubs everything in my face.
Erol, Torn, everything that makes me ache.
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
but I'm not gunna think about that. I'll think about how wonderful the feeling of Praxis' guts twisted around my hands will feel.
Or Erol choking on his own blood.
Suddenly I feel so much warmer.
But it doesn't last long and I start shivering again.
Hatred warms me again, spurred on by sudden thoughts of Torn and Ashelin.
It's not like I can compare myself to her, no point really. We couldn't be more different, like apples and oranges.
I really didn't have anything against Ashelin
Up until I found out who her father was she was just marked down as irrelevant. Even after finding out I never gave her a lot of thought.
Now I can't stop thinking about her, about her and Torn.
And it's driving me crazy.
The sudden beeping of my com startles me out of my thoughts
Underground… Just great
Hope to the precursors that it's just Samos. I start the flyer and pull into the pouring rain. Along the way I trade up for a zoomer left out.
Flyers are good for sleeping, not so great for zipping around corners at high speeds.
But neither have any means to protect myself from the rain, so by the time I get to the Hideout I'm soaked completely through.
Not that I care.
Bring me to life frozen inside without your touch without your love darling
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life
only you are the life among the dead
The precursors must have heard me for once
Both Samos' are standing there, but instead of giving me a mission they shove me in the bathroom and tell me to get cleaned up and in bed.
Oh gods, they're gunna make me sleep here. No point in protesting. I learned that a long time ago. If they want me here they'll make me stay. Fighting them will just cause a scene.
Can't risk waking Torn up.
I refuse to admit to how good the hot water feels on my skin and how wonderful a real bed feels after weeks of sleeping in flyers under bridges and in alleys.
The only bad thing about this is that Torn is on the bunk next to mine and these things are pushed so close together that there's only a few inches between them.
I can hear every breath he takes, can almost feel them.
Makes me think how it used to be.
I think I'm going crazy. I nearly laugh at that. With all the bullshit how could I still be sane? My little mind trips in prison proves that.
Speaking of which…
I haven't tried that for a long time, not since Dark made his appearance.
The thought's nice though, all my pain and problems just melting away…
I miss that.
But it's too risky with Dark, going there is like asking for a beating.
If only-
Torn suddenly sighs in his sleep and sits up. Every muscle in my body freezes as I feel him notice me.
I lay still and try to keep my breathing even. If I can just fake sleep-
"Jak?"
Dammit…
Why is he moving over here?
Just let go of me.
He's curling up against me, pulling me close
An elbow to his gut is all I need to get lose
God that felt great!
My satisfaction is ripped away when Torn grabs my shoulder and forces me to face him.
"What the fuck was that for?"
all this time I can't believe I
couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life
What was that for? Are you fucking kidding me? How about you giving up the underground. How about handing the kid over to that madman - and I'm not talking about Praxis - What about you betraying me?
I say none of this; instead I just glare at him. I don't care about the pained look he's giving me.
Why should I care?
Why should I listen to any excuses he may have?
Because I love him…
Dammit
I really hate the way I just give into him, the way my body just melts…
Am I weak because of that? Ya know, I don't think I care.
But I'm still angry, so I'm not letting him off the hook yet.
Torn suddenly puts his hand on my head; is he checking my temperature?
Jumps down from the bunk, leaving me all confused
Returns with something in hand that get shoved in my mouth
Bitter, nasty tasting something that he makes me swallow
Cool, refreshing waves sweep threw me and I realize its green eco infused medicine.
I hadn't realized I was sick
Am I sick?
Torn curls up against me and I try to squirm away
Tells me to rest up and we'll talk in the morning
Like hell we will
Don't want to talk to him
Don't want him to touch me
So why am I letting him?
Medicine's making me sleepy
Just tell myself that's why I stay
Yeah… I'm just tired
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
Got out before he woke up
I'm not ready to forgive
I'm being selfish and I don't care
Feel physically better than I have in weeks
Guess I was sick
Emotionally I'm a wreak
Have been for a long time
Daxter's still with Tess
Not gunna pick him up for a hour or so
Got time to kill… or people
Dark's hissing in my head
Promise of retaliation
Green eco didn't take the pain of the beatings away
God I don't want to sleep
Chests been aching since I snuck out
Since I left Torn all those weeks ago
I want it to stop
But it won't
Maybe I should head back to the hideout before he wakes up
Maybe…
Find myself in front of the entrance with out meaning to
Just stand there hesitating
Tears are welling up
Hands are shaking
Should I?
Can I?
I step inside
(Bring me to life)
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside
(Bring me to life)
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Hope you enjoyed! Review me!
