Co-authored by: Near0218 and lightning027

Beta'd by: lightning027

Summary: Near needs help talking to the girl he likes, and Mello is the only one that can help him. In exchange for lessons, Near must find out if Matt's gay. Will Near succeed and find love? Will Mello's hopes be confirmed? NearxOC, MelloxMatt

Chapter 1

Near was caught by surprise when Rodger told him that he had to re-select his classes. He told Near he needed to chose at least one art class.

"Roger, stop being so preposterous. I'm succeeding L, I don't need to take an art class," Near countered. Near was a decent kid, maybe he could persuade Roger into letting him skip the class.

"Too bad, Near. An arts credit is required for you to succeed L. Here's the list of classes," Roger handed Near the paper, which Near scanned over.

Introduction to art . . . boring. Too simple and vague.

Photography . . . Mello's taking that, I should stay away from him.

Sculpting . . . not my style . . .

Near continued to skim through the choices until he found one that interested him. Origami. It wouldn't really require any artistic abilities, just folding paper. He informed Roger of his choice and was enrolled in the class immediately.

The next day was Near's first day of origami. He walked into class thinking that this was going to be the most pointless class he had ever taken, but 15 minutes into it the door opened. Near turned his head quickly and saw a girl. She had dark brown hair almost like a chestnut, and beautiful green eyes.

"Sorry I'm late" the girl apologized to the teacher.

"Just don't let it happen again Eve," the teacher replied, not looking up from her computer, where she was probably watching some sort of porn.

Eve nodded and then she looked straight at Near, and Near could feel his face turn as red as a tomato. The whole class he just sat there like an amazed stalker staring at Eve.

When the day ended Near went to his dorm that he shared with O or Othello. He saw that Near had opened the door with great enthusiasm.

"What's with you?" O asked. Near wasn't usually this . . . normal? Human?

"N-nothing," Near stuttered a bit, then cursed himself for not sounding confident.

O knew that there was something going on with Near, but quite honestly didn't give a shit. So he ignored the little sheep and continued to solve his Rubik's cube

The next day Near rushed to his origami class, he couldn't wait to see Eve. He wasn't sure if it was her introverted nature or her beauty, but she just mesmerized him. When he got to class Eve was already sitting down, so he grabbed the chair next to her.

Near thought that striking up a conversation would be a good start for their relationship. He opened him mouth to say hello, but what came out was "U-uh, a baa?"

Eve did not even acknowledge him, and continued to work on her army of paper cranes, her cheeks a bit pink. Near felt embarrassed and ashamed at his failure. He was determined to talk to this girl. When you face Near with a challenge, he doesn't go down that easily.

When class was over he followed Eve to the play room where she found a book of word puzzles. Near made a mental note of this in case he ever had to buy her a present of some sort. What, isn't that what boyfriends do? Near noticed she sat down in a corner, away from all the other kids.

Every time someone tried to talk to Eve, she would reply politely with a smile, and then direct the conversation in a way so that she would be left alone. But whenever she saw Near coming her way, she would slyly leave the room. Near just couldn't figure out why this girl hated him so much! Did he smell bad? Had he done something wrong? Was Mello spreading rumors that he was a pedophile again? 'Cause this time he would take that to Roger, he has no right to spread false rumors . . .

Near was so mad at himself. How could this happen? How could one person make him feel so bad about himself, make him feel like an utter failure? Near slunk into his dorm room, and luckily O wasn't there. He shoved his head into his pillow and screamed until he was hoarse. He couldn't deal with failure, failure wasn't in his nature . . .

Near was going to beat this. He recognized that he needed more information on the subject in order to take on this challenge. He needed to be prepared. He needed to learn how to interact with others. He also knew where he was going to get this information, but it wasn't going to be fun...

The next day Near woke up ready to go to the only person he knew could help him...that person was Mello. Yeah, fun time.

Near walked to Mello's dorm and knocked on the door. There was no answer, and the door was unlocked, so Near just let himself in. It was Mello's fault for being so stupid as to leave his door unlocked.

Mello was sitting in a spinney chair. As soon as his door opened, he turned around, probably expecting a more pleasant, possible redheaded, visitor. He was eating a Hershey chocolate bar. Near saw his eyes get wide and his hand almost squish the chocolate.

"Get. The fuck. Out. Now," Mello practically growled at Near, glaring at his head as if to melt it. But Near wasn't looking at Mello's face, so he couldn't feel the wrath of the blonde-haired chocoholic.

"No." Mello's eye twitched.

"I need your help," Near stated, trying to keep his cool. He hated asking for help, especially from Mello. The child disgusted him.

Mello's eyes widened as he thought about what Near could possibly need help with. He smiled smugly at the thought of knowing something Near didn't. But when Near asked his question Mello frowned.

"Will you help me to be more social?"

"FUCK NO! There is no way that I am going help you with the last thing I'm better at!" Mello replied indignantly. No way. No fucking way would he help that little prick.

"Please Mello, you're the only one I can go to for this," Near bit his lip as he let go of his dignity. He knew that making himself vulnerable would be the only way Mello would help him. He needed to make Mello feel important, like he was the only person that could ever help him.

"You're my only hope," Near threw up a bit in his mouth. Mello smirked at the child's weakness. Stupid sheep.

"I guess I could help you. But on one condition . . ." Mello smirked, plotting. Near gulped.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone of my suspicions, OK?" Mello asked, suddenly serious again. Near nodded. Who would he tell? He was a social reject, and proud of it.

"I need you to find out if Matt's gay. He's been acting really strange and distant around me, and I think that's why. I'll tell you what to do when the time comes. So, do we have a deal? One course in social skills in exchange for spying on a homosexual friend?" Mello asked, holding out a hand for Near to shake. Near hesitated, but only for a moment before grabbing Mello's hand.

"I accept," he mumbled in his monotone voice.

And with that pact, Mello and Near began a relationship. A strange relationship based on mutual gain, but a relationship nonetheless.

(A/N: lightning027- thank you for reading! This is going to be a short 5 chapter collab between myself and Near0218. We came up with this idea while texting, and thought you guys would find it amusing. Hope you like it! Please review to help us improve!)