Disclaimer: I do not own CSI

An: Now edited, thanks to Rhee for beta reading!

Summary: post 5x14, sequel to "thank you"

Warning: OOC

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Your Date

She walked through the hallway, the shock was still so deep in her, she couldn't understand why he'd done this to her. Just when she had thought the urge to vomit had been shrinking she saw Grissom and Sophia walking down the hallway, Grissom was smiling, Sophia smiled back, Grissom laughed about what she had said and she laughed about what Grissom said. Sara felt as if she had to throw up right then. And the fact that she had to pass them by on her way to the lab didn't make it any better. Oh she wished she could turn around and run away, hide herself inside her locker and pretend to not be there at all. But running away would be childish and he had already seen her. She knew he had, she always felt it when he was looking at her.

The ladies rest-room door was her resort. She hushed through the door and ran into one of the cabins. Hoping she'd be able to calm down a little. Then she heard how the door opened.

"Oh no, Gil, I owe you," Sophia answered laughing to something Grissom had said, but Sara hadn't been able to hear it. She heard Sophia stopping in front of the big mirror.

Sara knew hiding there would be even more embarrassing for her, so she decided to face the devil and left the cabin.

Sophia turned around. "Hey, there you are. Gil was looking for you," Sophia said smiling brightly.

How dare she call him Gil! Sara thought and nodded softly. Knowing if she'd have to open her mouth she would shout the meanest insults at Sophia that would ever come to her mind, so she decided to remain quiet, she washed her hands and left the rest room without glancing at Sophia again.

She walked over to the DNA lab, hoping the results of her sample would be already processed and she hoped that working the case would give her something else to think about, but for now there was only one, incredible hurting thought in her mind. HE ASKED SOPHIA OUT FOR DINNER!

Thousands of miles away, totally lost in thoughts she suddenly ran into somebody, realizing seconds later that it had been Grissom.

"Sorry," she said softly and wanted to pass him by without having to look at him.

"Hey Sara, I was looking for you."

"Great but I'm in a hurry," she wanted to leave, she wanted nothing more but to be able to leave.

"No Sara. Please wait. We have to talk."

"About what? Your interests in Sophia?" She shouted at him.

It was as if the whole department was staring at them. Sara bit down on her bottom lip, spotting Ecklie who had just left his office. She knew she had started something bad the second that she saw the satisfied sparkle in Ecklie's eyes.

"Grissom. I have to talk with you," Ecklie said with an hateful, but also content tone in his voice.

Grissom nodded. "We'll talk later then," he whispered to Sara and followed Ecklie.

When Sara returned from a new crime scene and entered the lab Hodges and Sophia shot angry looks at her. Not understanding why they did so, she tried to ignore them, telling herself that she was the only one who had the right to be angry today.

Then she asked Hodges for the results of a sample she had given to him. She received no answer.

"Hey! Could you please give me the results?" She asked again, raising her voice.
Hodges turned away without saying anything.

"Okay…have I done something wrong? Did I forget your birthday? Did I run over your cat?" She really became irritated.

"You're the reason why Ecklie suspended Grissom and transferred me to swing-shift." Sophia told Sara angrily.

"If looks could kill," that familiar voice let Sara shiver, she knew he was standing right behind her.

"Sara, can we talk now?" Grissom asked her softly.

She nodded, not knowing what to say to him. She simply followed him to his office. This was all her fault.

He told her to sit down and so she did. She sat on a chair next to his desk, he sat on the desk, facing her. They remained in silence for a while.

"What do you want to hear from me? That I am sorry?" She wouldn't apologize. Yes, she had fucked up, but so had he.

"No… I want… I don't know what I want."

"Figures."

"What?" He seemed a bit too much taken back by her comment for her taste, she knew that he just couldn't be as clueless as he pretended to be.

"Well first you come to my apartment, you comfort me, you… you spend the night with me! And then …. one week later, you ask Sophia out for dinner."

"Sara… I… I never said that I…"

"…I know …you never said that you had feelings for me …I was … once again… overanalyzing the evidence…"

"…that's not what I wanted to say."

"You know what… I don't want to hear it, what ever it is… I don't want to know it. Gil Grissom died tonight, for me! Ecklie will find my leave on his desk tomorrow," she stood up and left his office. Wishing she could have told him what she had really wanted to tell him, she wished she would have been able to tell how much he had hurt her, how much she loved him and how much she needed him. And she desperately wished he'd follow her, but he didn't.

She had already been asleep when she heard someone knocking on her door. She left her bed, wondering who was out there and knowing, whoever it might be, she would tell him off for waking her up.

She opened the door, staring unbelieving into Grissom's face.

"Hey," he said softly.

She wanted to shut the door again, but he slipped in before she had a chance to make him leave.

"I know... I'm actually dead… but please listen to me." He pleaded.

"Why should I?"

"Sara I promise I…"

"…Why should I believe you? You promised to never hurt me again. You promised to never leave me alone again. And you did both. Without caring how much you hurt me…" She felt so desperate and at the same time she was mad at him for hurting her like this again, for making her feel desperate again!

"Sara, I really never wanted to hurt you." He tried to calm her down.

"Don't tell me you thought that taking her out for dinner wouldn't hurt me."

"I've had dinner with Catherine about thousand times. That didn't hurt you either."

"That's something else. She has been your best friend for years. Sophia is…she…"

"…she is a nobody, in comparison to you." He looked at her with these irresistible blue eyes and tried to apologize.

"Why should I believe you Grissom? Why?"

"Because I am in love with you." He hadn't planned to open up to her like this, but it was true. Even though he had hoped to tell her in a different situation under different circumstances, now when he had said it he wouldn't take it back.

Some how this hurt her even more. Thinking he had dated Sophia because he had a crush on Sophia and no interests in her had been one thing, but now, when she knew that he had dated Sophia although he was in love with her or although he pretended to be in love with her, it ripped her heart out of her chest.
"Why should I believe you?"

"Sara. Please, I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you."

Sara shook her head, still unbelieving.

"She needed someone to talk to, she wanted to quit. I just wanted to help her. We're friends, nothing else. She is not my type. But you are, Honey. I love you, Sara. And it kills me to know that you don't believe me and that you hate me."

"Have you ever felt lost Grissom? Have you ever felt as if your heart was ripped out and grounded into the dirt? I bet you can't imagine how much this hurts."

"I can… I felt it when you told me that you'd leave. I felt it when you told me that I'm dead to you." He told her with weak voice.

"Great… then you can imagine how I feel right now… and you can probably imagine that I want to forgive you that easily. I can't trust you… sorry, but that's the way it is. And now leave."

"Sara please."

"Grissom leave." She told him once again. She just couldn't stand this, not today, not even in the next weeks probably.

"Only if you promise me to not quit your job." He pleaded.

She knew that what he had told her was true, but she wasn't ready to forgive him, let alone trust him again. Too often had he hurt her, played with her, even used her.

Sara took a deep breath. Then she nodded softly. "But don't think I'll do this for you."

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THE END