A/N: This is my first try at writing fanfiction in 3 years! Oh goodness. I'm not really sure why I wanted to write this. Trina just reminds me of dull glitter (lol jk). This story is a product of me wanting to start writing fanfiction again, my procrastination, and my new found love of Victorious. Hope you enjoy it :)
Dull Glitter
Trina always wondered what happened to glitter when it fell from its origin. Was it's shine truly lost forever? She hated it when her mother swept the glitter from her bedroom floor.
"Maybe if the light hit it a certain way, it would shine again," she pleaded with her mother, which earned her a strange glance. That's the logic she applied in her own life; if she just got the attention to shift to her for a few moments, everyone would be able to see how she can sparkle.
Trina wasn't stupid. She knew what people said about her. She saw all of the looks of disapproval she received from her peers. But she never let it stop her from doing what she loved.
Once, when Tori was afraid of entering the talent show because her friends claimed it was for losers, their parents told her to listen to your own heart and do what makes you happy, regardless of what others think. Even though it was not directed at her, Trina took this advice to heart and no longer hid in the shadows. She danced with the most energy in her junior jazz class, she sang the loudest at choir practice, and she performed with the most conviction in every school play.
She knew the others didn't approve of her antics, but she continued to perform because that is what she wanted to do. She knew she had to let herself shine. Trina could not allow herself to be held back by people who didn't appreciate her talent. There was no point in existing if she did.
. . .
It was an exhausting hour of street jazz, and the sweat clinging to her skin was proof that she had done her job. As much as she hated feeling damp, she had just proved that she was willing to work the hardest, and that she was the best yet again.
As she exited the studio and walked over to the locker area, she heard coughs and giggles. Trina thought they were directed at her, but quickly shook the notion from her mind. What reason would they have to laugh at her?
"Honestly, this girl has no talent. Why do people keep indulging her in these delusions?" one dark-haired girl with terrible taste in clothing and poorly dyed hair said. She slapped her hand over her mouth when she saw Trina had already entered the room. Trina decided not to lecture her on jealousy and its terrible side effects; she continued on her way and opened her locker effortlessly.
"It's okay Trina," she whispered to herself. "They will never be as good as you are. They lack determination, passion, and talent; all of which you have."
When she felt herself regaining confidence, she smirked at her admirers and blew them a quick kiss.
. . .
She arrived home to the- unfortunately- beautiful sounds of Tori singing. As she opened the door, she began to run through a list of insults she could lay on her sister. Keep on trying Tori, you might be as good as me one day. Since when is singing off-key acceptable? Hey Tori, I could actually tell what song you were singing this time! Baby-steps.
None of these insults seemed appropriate so she decided on the average, "Could you please stop trying to deafen the neighbourhood?" Tori whipped her head around and snarled at her older sister.
"I'm not in the mood for your crap today."
"Touchy," Trina sneered as Tori slammed her bedroom door in her face. Trina skipped to her colourful and flamboyant bedroom and quickly turned on her laptop. Thursdays were when she answered fan questions. She hadn't been receiving any lately, but she felt like today would be something special.
4 New Messages. Finally, she thought. Trina knew her sheer amount of star power was overwhelming to the average person, but that was no reason to be afraid. She wanted to give back to them, be their beacon of light. She doubled clicked her mailbox icon and read the brief messages she had been sent.
Talentless. How did you get in again? So freakin' annoying. Tori is greater than Trina.
She felt a wave of sickness for a brief moment, but regained her composure quickly.
"I don't understand why people spend their lives refusing to see the talent that is right in front of them," she sighed as she turned off her laptop. Trina slinked out of her bedroom and found herself plopped on the living room couch with a blanket draped over her legs. She was sipping a glass of water when the doorbell sounded. Trina scoffed and arrived at the door.
"Delivery," the young boy said.
"Aww, you shouldn't have!" Trina squealed. It was a beautiful bouquet of white and yellow roses. She opened her arms in anticipation, but the boy pulled them farther away from her.
"Um, these are for Tori." Right on cue, Tori appeared downstairs and made that faux I'm-not-surprised-I'm-getting-this-since-I'm-so-amazing-but-will-pretend-like-I-am-for-the-sake-of-not-seeming-obnoxious. It was the fourth bouquet Tori had received this month and Trina was becoming irritated with her 'humility'.
"Thanks!" she said as the flowers were placed into her greedy hands. The boy tipped his hat and left.
"I don't understand why you get so many bouquets," Trina stated.
"Because I'm the talented one," Tori replied while sniffing her roses.
"Oh well sweetie, I think you are mistaken," Trina replied while making an attempt at the bouquet.
"Don't start with me Trina," she said sharply. Trina could see Tori was in a bad mood, but she couldn't help but push.
"Honestly Tori, if you want some flowers, I will graciously lend you some but you need to control your envy," Trina said condescendingly. Tori whipped her flowers onto the floor and stood directly in front of her sister.
"Why would I be jealous of a delusional freak who thinks she's amazing when she's really just pathetic?" Trina was speechless.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that," Tori pleaded. Trina tried to turn away but Tori grabbed her wrists to stop her from leaving. Trina shook her off.
"Whatever." Trina turned on her heel and sprinted up to her bedroom.
. . .
When Trina was upset, she would sing. Sometimes, she sang happy songs to lift her mood, sometimes she sang sad songs to temporarily wallow in her misery for a few minutes. When she sang in her bedroom, she was amazing. She would imagine the adoring crowd screaming her name and jumping excitedly when she reached the last note. It always made her feel better. Today, she decided to sing 'Make It Shine'. She performed the notes effortlessly until she hit the chorus. Trina could feel her voice straining.
"…your imagination…" her voice cracked. Trina shook herself and tried the verse again. And again. And again. Her voice continued to fail her. She pinched the flesh on her wrist.
"What is wrong with me?" she whispered to her reflection. Suddenly, her once dazzling clothes looked unflattering on her frame. Her glossy extensions now seemed greasy and overdone. The bright blubs around her mirror made her feel washed out.
She quietly pulled out a cardboard box from her closet and began to clean. Everything that reminded her of what she was- the feather boa, the microphone, the jewellery boxes filled with tacky diamonds and makeup- were stripped from her bedroom and crammed into the box. Trina was tired of herself. She was sick of her own antics and believing that she could make herself into something wonderful when she was really just pathetic.
After she finished her bedroom, she relocated to the bathroom with a hair of scissors and a bottle of facial soap. Trina splashed her face with water and began to furiously wash her face clean. Next, she picked up the scissors and cut her long extensions out of her hair. She glanced down at the piles of hair and dirty towel on the floor. Trina inhaled quietly and looked at her new reflection in the mirror.
"No more melodrama. Just me…" she exhaled a short breath. "Whatever that is."
. . .
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