Hey! So new story! It was inspired by the quote at the end by Nicholas Sparks.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS or their characters…I own his ficticious children and their dog which is based on mine. Hope you enjoy.
As he sat in his bedroom with his head in his hands, he could only think of the what-ifs.
What-if he zigged instead of zagged?
What-if he just ran a litter faster?
What-if he was there instead?
He should have been. He should have been there instead. Though, sometime to her dismay, he would do anything to protect her. That was his job, to protect his favorite person in the world and he was too late. He would have taken her place in an instant. It should have been him. His kids would have been sad, but they could have lived without their father. They needed Ziva. He needed Ziva. He broke rule number eight: Never take things for granted. He was so thankful for his wife but he didn't know what he would know without her, and now he didn't know. She was his forever and now he didn't know what to do. He knew that he could never remarry, not after being with his other half, and also, as he would so often put it, his better half. It has been only one week since she last slept in their bed and he missed her dearly, and today would be the last day where he got to see her until that one day they were re-united in the clouds. He had been down to autopsy every day after work to tell her how much he loved her, how much he missed her and about the recent accomplishments of their children. Eira: who was now post-boning college to help her family, Hannah: who had been recently accepted into 8th grade even though she was 11, and Anaya, who was only 5 months old, whose eyes had currently changed from blue to the same shade of brown as her mothers. He just wanted her back, in his arms, together where they were supposed to be till they were old, grey-haired and surrounded by grandchildren. She hadn't had a simple answer for Gibbs when he asked her if she wanted children all those years ago, but when she married Tony, she had found her simple answer.
"Hey Abba" 17-yearold Eira DiNozzo said as she stood in his doorway, dressed in a simple black dress which he recognized as the one her mother picked out years ago.
"Hey kid" he said lifting his head from his hands and noting that she called him the Hebrew name for father, something she only did whenever she needed the invisible protective shield from the world which all parents could conjure.
"Are your sisters ready?"
"Almost. Hannah locked herself in the bathroom, she said she wouldn't come out until she found it, and Anaya should be up from her nap soon."
"What's Hannah looking for this time?" he questioned knowing his middle child had a tendency to lose things.
"Her necklace, she thinks it's somewhere in the laundry basket…or that Aubrey might have stolen it" which caused them both to laugh.
"The dog didn't take it" she reassured "she's been like the unofficial eighth dwarf from Snow White, Mopey" she laughed causing her father to smile which she was glad she could do that much for him.
"That reminds me" he said as he pulled a small silver bag from the top drawer of his end table.
"Here" he said handing her the small bag "she would have wanted you to have it" he said, his voice cracking a bit.
"What is it?" she asked and he nodded for her to open it.
She gently pulled out a silver necklace with the Star of David on the end. She knew it was familiar, but when she found the delicate inscription she knew it was her mothers.
"Aht lo leh-vahd" she muttered as she ran her thumb over the small inscripted letters.
"I gave that to your mother after her father died. You know what it means?" she said watching his daughter as she admired her mother's favorite piece of jewelry.
"You are not alone" she replied with a watery smile.
He couldn't help but admire his oldest child, with brains bigger than McGee's and her mother's 'spidey' senses, and her heart as big as Abby's. She instinctively found her maternal side and was helping her younger sisters and her father as best as she could.
He could have just stayed there with his daughter, afraid of what new emotions will come to surface this afternoon until he decided that it could not be put off any longer and went to the adjoining room where his little baby lay restless, wanting to be held after her nap.
"Hey munchkin" he said picking up his infant daughter as she awoke from her nap. She looked so much like Ziva it hurt him these past couple of days, she was the only one who had inherited Ziva's milk chocolate eye color, and as he starting to dress her in her small black dress he noted that she was too young to be going to her first funeral. Not only her first funeral, but the funeral of the person that was supposed to be her role model throughout her life.
"Dad?" Eira said appearing from the hallway.
"Yeah" he replied trying Anaya's small red bow at the top of her dress.
"Are you ready to go?" she asked.
"Yeah, is Hannah ready?" he asked picking up his baby who immediately snuggled into his chest.
"Yes, she's waiting by the front door, Aubrey's already in her crate and I have the diaper bag"
"Thank you" she told her and gave her a small kiss on her forehead.
The drive to the Temple was very quiet as expected; Tony kept on glancing back in the rear-view mirror to see his children and the sad expressions that has been permanently settled on their face. He was the bath, bed and dinner guy, Ziva was the one who helped them through most of their problems like boy troubles, which Tony didn't want to get into anyway, but now he didn't have a choice. Like what Ziva did for him all these years, he just wanted to take his kids pain away, but nothing can hurt more than losing their mother. He remembers when he told them their mother wasn't coming home, Eira cried, Hannah yelled and runaway to Gibbs' basement not wanting to believe what her father had just told him. They parked in front of the Temple, the same place Tony had found Ziva saying her prayers after her fathers death, and was greeted by their family anxiously waiting to wrap them in their arms.
As he slowly made his way inside, he was immediately overcome with a people wishing to send him their condolences. He looked around the room at their small gathering, people getting coffee, and people making their way towards the closed casket to say goodbye to their fellow agent and friend. He watched as Abby and Tim made their way to see their friend, Gibbs and then his daughters. Now it was his turn. He slowly made his way up to the casket, which had been chosen by Abby, and ran his hand over the top and stood there, lowered his head to the top of the casket and began to speak to his wife for the final time.
"You were supposed to be my forever, Zi. You were supposed see the kids grow up" he said through silent tears. He doesn't know how long he was standing there, until he was brought back to reality when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder that belonged to Mr. Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He was equally distraught over her demise; she was like a daughter to him and she gave him all the opportunities with her children that he was never able to experience with his own.
"Tony" he said his normally steely glare almost non-existent "are you and the kids going to be okay?"
"I'm not sure boss" he managed to say through the tears that he was trying so hard to stop.
"Dad, hi Gibbs" Hannah greeted as she appeared from the back of the room.
"Hey Hannah-Banana" Gibbs said trying to put a smile on his granddaughters face.
"Hey munchkin" Tony replied patting her hair which was pulled back into a black ribbon.
"You found your necklace" he said noticing her own Star of David around her neck, as they left Gibbs to go find a quiet place to talk.
"Eira gave me hers since you gave her moms, and I put mine in Ana's room for when she gets older" she said as her father's eyes started to fill with tears once again, this time because of happiness.
"Don't cry" she said wiping a tear that fell down her father's face. She knew from experience that her dad doesn't cry, and it pained her every time to see him like this.
"Dad?" she asked.
"Yeah?"
"Did Grandpa Ducky take good care of mama?" she asked while tears slowly rimmed her eyes.
"He did the best possible care" he told her gathering his daughter in his arms.
They stayed like that for as long as possible just as he did earlier in the day with Eira until it was time for the service began. He found Eira at the back with a heartbroken Abby and a sullen McGee and leaning on her boyfriend Jake for support. They met in the middle of the Temple and Tony gently scooped up Anaya back in the safe comfort of his arms, and waited for the service to begin.
"Ziva's most cherished accomplishment that she has done was her family" Rabbi Glass said as he spoke to a small gathering of just family and only a few friends "and now her husband wanted to say a few words" he finished motioning for Tony to say his piece in front of their friends and family. Tony stood, passing the sleeping baby to her crying sister and proceeded to the front of the temple, he shook the Rabbi's hand and proceeded to say the few words that he had written down that was somehow supposed to explain his feelings for the only woman he's ever loved, though he could never put what he felt for Ziva into words.
""Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. And although this is the way all stories unfold, I still can't believe that ours didn't go on forever"".
The idea for "Mopey" came from Grey's Anatomy which is not mine either.
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DFTBA!