How am I?

Chapter one: Deepest Despair and Smallest Hope.

Warning: The Chapter Title maybe a Misnomer.

"Good afternoon class!" Said Lina Inverse or at least something that merely looked like Lina Inverse.

"Good afternoon sensei!" Replied a group of beings that had no business existing in the same universe let alone being classmates.

"Today for our biannual placement exams-" "it's exam time already!? I didn't study at all!" said something that looked like Superman. To the right of him Lex Luthor rolled his eyes. Hinata Hyuuga giggled at Buck the Weasel's impression. Lina had an eyebrow raised. "Any other interruptions?"

"No? good. As I was saying, today for our biannual placement exams we shall be taking a random human from one of the Hubs and plopping them into a World that has powers-" "boo! That's boring! Give us something original to do! We do that for fun!" said the Lifeform known as Whis. "Quiet!" shouted Lina as she unfurled her power revealing two things. One the depth of her power far exceeded those of her Anchor counterpart of a specific broken Yggdrasil. And two her, and therefore everyone in that universe's, species. Said species can be summed up by three, sometimes, four letters.

Now outside a certain family of websites these combinations of letters mean different things. However, within said family they mean something Powerful.

R.O.B. or B.R.O.B. these acronyms mean Random Omnipotent Being or Bastard/Benevolent Random Omnipotent Being. To understand just how Powerful these "R.O.B.s" are imagine this:

A universe of Star Trek's Omnipotent Beings conversed with about 90 other universes of Star Trek, 91 Universes of Stargate, 91 Universes of Star Wars, and 91 Universes of Starcraft, and decided to collaborate in one giant act upon the Multiverse. Said act would give birth to a R.O.B. one of a Rank of zero.

Rank one: 30 billion times that of zero

Rank 2: 90 trillion times that of 1.

Etc. Etc.

The R.O.B. who assumes the form of Lina Inverse? Rank 8.9 billion. Now the reason why the ROBs assume forms which we are familiar with is because they are courteous and prefer not to instantly shred their environment and their playthings. Which sadly to say is us and those weaker than them. Yes, that included their own species.

"The goal for this project is for them to prepare the World for the arrival of an Multiversal threat that I shall create. Three wrinkles are planned from the start. Wrinkle A: they are plopped into a world where Normals are Cannon Fodder at best and non-existent at worst. Wrinkle B: no Powers-" Lina eyes Superman. "-no Tech-" Tony Stark and Lex. "-no Combined knowledge of Humanities-" Haruhi Suzumiya. "-no Sponsors-" Haymitch. "-no Heritage-" Bruce Wayne. "-no nothing. Got it?" Lina smiled in a terrifying at Whis. "original enough for you?" Whis gulped and nodded.

"Wrinkle C: only one person in the entire Omniverse honestly believes that the Prepper is not paranoid and that whatever they're prepping for exists, is coming, and stupidly dangerous. Otherwise it's either "okay Lil' girl time to go to the psych ward" or "hey, the boss maybe crazy but she signs our paychecks." Etc. Etc." set out Lina. "Oh, and by Heritage I mean Spacehulks of Money."

"So I expect reports from Universes' such as: Worm, Tiger & Bunny, My Hero Academia, either of the Warhammers, Dragon Ball. Get to writing." Finished Lina as the "School's over" bell rang.

Haruhi brooded her way home and after Nagisa, her adopted younger brother, asked about her day did she snap out of it.

- in that aforementioned Yggdrasil -

Lina dropped into prone to avoid a ray of DIE! And quipped to herself. "What Admin did I piss off to have that after me?" what she is referring to is an abomination of Blacklight, T Virus, Flood, Homeworld Beast, MC Creeper, Creeper World Creeper, Liquid Torment, MEV-1, Tracker Jacker, and the other O8 thus negating all of her attempts to either run away or destroy it. Oh, did I forget to mention that the Blacklight part is from Biomass Effect? Needless to say but Lina's gonna have a very exciting loop. Oh, nearly forgot to mention but the other Originals Were Awake and trapped inside their bodies unable to do anything but watch. Their loop memories had control. They broke out the mental popcorn five hours ago when the loop began.

- back in Haruhi's home -

"Well, Ms. Inverse didn't say anything about the Evil Overlord Lists." Replied Nagisa and Haruhi hugged him with all her might. Which proved to be too much for the R0 ROB who passed out. After reviving him. "thanks bro you're the best."

Haruhi plopped down and started flipping through potential Universes before settling on a Tiger & Bunny Universe. With a twitch of a neuron an uncountable number of unobservable things inexplicably changed. Those were the most minor changes others were less subtle and much more influential.

A crime syndicate rose out of nothingness, ages melted and solidified, history warped and changed, the factory-fresh syndicate nearly dissolved into ash, laws and roles shattered before reforming vastly changed better for few worst for many, and a certain boy was born to an abusive family.

- in said 'verse. -

Hi, my name is … Author didn't save when he thought he did. Ahem. Let's start over shall we? Hi, my name is Jezebel Henrietta Jessica Kyra (Impure Mistress of the Wealthy Household of Ladies.) fantastic name for a boy no? to summarize the deleted segment of summarization. Mom was a bank robber. Dad didn't get money fast enough. Mom blew dads' brains out. Dad reformed. And a stupid macho idiot swung a chair through mom. She turned to tar and tried to drowned said idiot. Dad got fired. And finally Mom & Dad made a Sexist, Racist (against humanity. How cliché), Neo-Nazi crime syndicate.

That was 43 years and some change ago. So after about 33 daughters (it's a combination of A: stupid levels of fertility. And B: triplets run in both sides of the family.) did I finally pop out. Alone. Which drew about 5% of abuse. Now after shooting one of my younger sisters (yes I'm not the youngest. Duggars meet the Kyra family.) a dark look because of her shoving paradoxically boiling ice. (like Quirks, Pinkie Pie, Shards, Pinkie Pie, Yggdrasil, Looping Pinkie Pie, Lore, and Movie Genetics, we don't question NEXT Powers!) into my vital equipment. The second triplet of that bunch froze me in time. And with the help of an older set of triplets (who did something to my something) did the third pour boiling acid in me. Before tossing me inside a Garbage truck.

So as my ribs collapse and puncture my various and vital organs. I am left to wonder, just why is there a giant blob of stuff heading towards my universe. No not universe. Multiverse. A smaller blob of things came to my attention by borrowing into my soul! Ouchy wowie mama! I can't believe the author right now for typing that. We stopped doing that at 5 or 6! I'm 16!

Oh, and the reason why I know about out of Universe stuff is because this is a Self-Insert story. Not an O.C. story. Now that everything is sort of set up, let's skip to the next chapter with hopefully less Fourth Wall Breaking. Ciao!