Author's note~ Yes, yet another rather depressing story. This one isn't
dark, but it's sad, or at least I think so. Please review? ^_^
Disclaimer~ I don't own Zeta Project. I never will. And Zee isn't real. I'm gonna have to come to terms with that some day.
I'm free, Ro! I've finally got my freedom! Oh, I know you always said I'd be free someday, but truthfully, I didn't always believe you. I could hardly believe it when the NSA issued me a pardon yesterday. I was happy, because I knew that you would be.
But I don't. . .I don't really care much. Being free doesn't feel much different than being on the run, except that now I'm unsure what to do. Before I had a quest. Now my only possession is memory.
I love my memories, they're so much clearer than a human's would be. Do you know, I still know by heart every conversation we ever had? But these days I'm less and less in control of what memories I think of. They keep going back to. . .that day.
Do you remember, Ro? I told you to run, and let me handle Krick. But you would never leave me. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, to have a friend like you. If you hadn't distracted him, I could've never managed to get out of his cervo-inhibitor.
I never heard the shot. Perhaps the inhibitor was interfering with my aural preceptors. When I noticed, you were falling. It took you so long to fall. Why didn't I catch you? I replayed that memory later. It was actually only a few seconds. . .but it seemed so long.
If I had noticed sooner, would anything have been different? I don't know. There had been so much blood, flowering on your shirt and the ground. But you don't want to talk of such things, do you, Ro?
Perhaps the only thing good about freedom is that I can come and talk to you for as long as I want. I remember the last time I came, the NSA were here. They brought me back to their base to erase my memories. Oh Ro, I had never been so afraid! I pleaded with them, "Please not my memories, not Ro! You can't make me forget Ro!"
Bennett didn't care. But Lee did. She came to save me, did you know that? Bennett was furious, but he couldn't prove it was her. You would've loved to see it.
What would I do without my memories, Ro? There are times I want to erase them, because they tear me apart. But I could never do that- it would be like killing you again. And without my memories, how could I picture you, standing here listening to me, instead of this stone that bears your name, Rosalie, not Ro as I knew you, and the years of your life. Sixteen. That isn't long. It would've been eighteen now, wouldn't it?
Has it really been nearly two years since you left me? I've been without you for longer than I knew you; yet my time with you feels like my whole life. Will it still feel this way years from now? Because I am very young, and have many years left.
But yes, it would be two years, wouldn't it? It is March, and your funeral was in March. Do you remember? I wanted to go, but the NSA were there. Even at your funeral. So Casey sent me a video clip. How I wanted to be there when the casket closed, to preserve the last instant your body was in the light forever in my memory. A clip is not the same.
So many people came, Ro! People we had met on our journey and people I hadn't seen before- fans, and maybe people from your past. I wouldn't have noticed the red-haired woman, but Casey pointed her out to me. Your mother came, Ro! When I saw that, I wished I could've been there to talk to her, but perhaps it is for the best. Did she talk to you, as I do? I think she wished to, because she was weeping.
I think the one crying hardest was Bucky. I don't know how he managed to hide from the NSA, but I saw him. I know you didn't think much of him, Ro, but he really cared about you. A lot of people cared about you. I think I would've been the one crying hardest, if I had tears. Bucky and I don't talk much anymore.
Oh, Ro, I am free but I'm lost without you! Were you here, you would've made me celebrate, have fun. I never understood fun, but if you were happy, so was I. But you aren't here. I'm talking to a tombstone.
I wish it was I that had died. I'm not pitying myself or being heroic, as you would be so ready to accuse me. But you were young and meant to have many more years. I was never meant to exist. You would have found something to do with your life.
I shouldn't stay much longer. I would love to stay, but you would say it wasn't good for me. I always try to remember what you would tell me to do. I didn't always agree with your advice, but you always had my best interests at heart. Even before your own.
So I'll go. I miss you, Ro, but you're right. This isn't good for me. You know, I never told you while you could understand. I love you, Ro.
Disclaimer~ I don't own Zeta Project. I never will. And Zee isn't real. I'm gonna have to come to terms with that some day.
I'm free, Ro! I've finally got my freedom! Oh, I know you always said I'd be free someday, but truthfully, I didn't always believe you. I could hardly believe it when the NSA issued me a pardon yesterday. I was happy, because I knew that you would be.
But I don't. . .I don't really care much. Being free doesn't feel much different than being on the run, except that now I'm unsure what to do. Before I had a quest. Now my only possession is memory.
I love my memories, they're so much clearer than a human's would be. Do you know, I still know by heart every conversation we ever had? But these days I'm less and less in control of what memories I think of. They keep going back to. . .that day.
Do you remember, Ro? I told you to run, and let me handle Krick. But you would never leave me. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, to have a friend like you. If you hadn't distracted him, I could've never managed to get out of his cervo-inhibitor.
I never heard the shot. Perhaps the inhibitor was interfering with my aural preceptors. When I noticed, you were falling. It took you so long to fall. Why didn't I catch you? I replayed that memory later. It was actually only a few seconds. . .but it seemed so long.
If I had noticed sooner, would anything have been different? I don't know. There had been so much blood, flowering on your shirt and the ground. But you don't want to talk of such things, do you, Ro?
Perhaps the only thing good about freedom is that I can come and talk to you for as long as I want. I remember the last time I came, the NSA were here. They brought me back to their base to erase my memories. Oh Ro, I had never been so afraid! I pleaded with them, "Please not my memories, not Ro! You can't make me forget Ro!"
Bennett didn't care. But Lee did. She came to save me, did you know that? Bennett was furious, but he couldn't prove it was her. You would've loved to see it.
What would I do without my memories, Ro? There are times I want to erase them, because they tear me apart. But I could never do that- it would be like killing you again. And without my memories, how could I picture you, standing here listening to me, instead of this stone that bears your name, Rosalie, not Ro as I knew you, and the years of your life. Sixteen. That isn't long. It would've been eighteen now, wouldn't it?
Has it really been nearly two years since you left me? I've been without you for longer than I knew you; yet my time with you feels like my whole life. Will it still feel this way years from now? Because I am very young, and have many years left.
But yes, it would be two years, wouldn't it? It is March, and your funeral was in March. Do you remember? I wanted to go, but the NSA were there. Even at your funeral. So Casey sent me a video clip. How I wanted to be there when the casket closed, to preserve the last instant your body was in the light forever in my memory. A clip is not the same.
So many people came, Ro! People we had met on our journey and people I hadn't seen before- fans, and maybe people from your past. I wouldn't have noticed the red-haired woman, but Casey pointed her out to me. Your mother came, Ro! When I saw that, I wished I could've been there to talk to her, but perhaps it is for the best. Did she talk to you, as I do? I think she wished to, because she was weeping.
I think the one crying hardest was Bucky. I don't know how he managed to hide from the NSA, but I saw him. I know you didn't think much of him, Ro, but he really cared about you. A lot of people cared about you. I think I would've been the one crying hardest, if I had tears. Bucky and I don't talk much anymore.
Oh, Ro, I am free but I'm lost without you! Were you here, you would've made me celebrate, have fun. I never understood fun, but if you were happy, so was I. But you aren't here. I'm talking to a tombstone.
I wish it was I that had died. I'm not pitying myself or being heroic, as you would be so ready to accuse me. But you were young and meant to have many more years. I was never meant to exist. You would have found something to do with your life.
I shouldn't stay much longer. I would love to stay, but you would say it wasn't good for me. I always try to remember what you would tell me to do. I didn't always agree with your advice, but you always had my best interests at heart. Even before your own.
So I'll go. I miss you, Ro, but you're right. This isn't good for me. You know, I never told you while you could understand. I love you, Ro.