Chapter one
Warm heat radiates off of his skin as I find myself running my fingers through sweaty blond hair as I try to keep his cobalt blue eyes focused on me. God he's so sick, been complaining of a headache today, or more like he hid it,and I sensed his discomfort. I convinced him to come see Banner,to make sure everything was ok and that it was an ordinary headache. But it's looking like it might not be,so he wanted to get a spinal tap done on him,just to make sure,and it's going to be hell,especially since we know he can't get numb, he can for a little bit,but then he gets feeling again within about ten minutes or so. He's on his left side now,in more or less a fetal position with behind him,and the gown open.
"Easy Steve,just focus on me alright, take a deep breath and squeeze my hand"I murmur feeling his focus shift to me,and his hand grasping mine tightly. "I don't think I can do this Nat"he says tiredly, "you can and you will,it'll be over soon I promise, we're doing the numbing right now, you just need to let us know when you start feeling again and we can get you another dose"I murmur softly,"Ok"he murmurs,too tired to say anything else. I see the needle go in,and I feel him grab my hand tight,he should go numb anytime now. I feel him go lax a bit once it takes affect,then touches his back,to make sure he's numb,and it is,he can't feel a dang thing. "Alright,I'm going to go ahead and start Steve,I'll try to make it quick,just let me know if you start feeling anything"he says gently as I see him slide gloves on. "Ok"he murmurs shakily,he's tired and scared,which is understandable, he's been through a lot.
"I got you, it'll be over soon"I murmur taking one of his hands in mine,then using my other to run my fingers through his hair. I see the needle go in,he doesn't react this time,and I see him adjust the needle,and place a vial,to gather the fluid as he tests the pressure,which I can tell is uncomfortable. "Nat"he murmurs softly, "It's alright,I know it's uncomfortable big guy,we're almost there,I promise"I murmur watching as he finishes taking the pressure,then gently removes the needle,and places gauze over the needle mark,staunching the bleeding. Somehow by the grace of the powers that be,he didn't burn the medicine off as fast normal,meaning he's weakened due to the illness,which is not entirley a good thing,but it does help with giving him medication that he needs.
I see him tape the gauze to his back,then he goes and puts the vials on the counter,so he can test them, then comes back over,and helps me get him back onto his back. "We're all done for now,I'm going to get you started on some antibiotics,just to play it safe in the mean time as we wait for results,I'll just add it to the Iv we already have in you"he says gently as I see him grab a needle,so he can put it in the port in his arm, and give him the dose of medication he desperately needs. "Alright,I'm so tired"he murmurs softly looking at me with tired blue eyes,he's just tired,and done,which is undestandable,I'd be done with everything as well if it was me,he's been poked and prodded for the last hour,by a male doctor,he's more comfortable with women,which I can sorta understand,but he's made do. "I know big guy,we'll be done real soon,I promise you,for real this time"I murmur as I see him push the needle into the port,then it's over just like that. He puts the stuff away,grabs the vials,then bids us goodbye for the moment,telling us If we need anything to let him know,but otherwise that he'll be back in an hour or so. I go sit on the bed beside him at this point,and he automatically lays against me,seeking comfort in any way he can get it. I reach up and run my fingers through his hair,god he's still got a hell of a fever,which we can't do anything about,it's not like tyenol will do anything,the best we can do is put a wet cloth against his neck,keep him cool. "Try to get some sleep alright,I'm not going anywhere,I'll be right here when you wake up,let me know if you need anything"I murmur softly, "OK Nat"he murmurs as he settles in,getting himself as comfortable as he's going to get. I then start rubbing his back a little bit,then he's out like a light, he looks alot younger than he really is when he's fast asleep like this,it's rare I get to just watch him,still,unmoving. After awhile,I lay down beside him,and I feel him shift as I put him arm around his shoulders,then I turn on the TV,and turn it to the news. This is the first time I've been alone with my thoughts in awhile,and I just let it sink in,he needs me more than ever now,and I''ll be here for him no matter what the illness is,or what's going on with him,and I know the others will be as well. But for now it's just going to be a sitting and waiting game until the results come back,which could be a long while yet.