I do not have any ownership of the original characters; they belong to E.L. James. Any new characters are mine.

Please read: This story ISN'T for everyone, there will be mentions of abuse, self-harm, and rape. I know some people are sensitive to certain subjects, and I fully understand! You don't have to read! I will always put a trigger warning in an A/N before the chapter. Anywhoo, I'm taking my characters down a different path, and it won't be all hearts and flowers! There's a good amount of history between my two characters, and while you read... it will definitely get confusing. But, rest assured... you WILL get answers as you continue to read. Patience is key! Thank you all for giving me a chance to share this story :)

Possible Trigger Warning: This chapter contains abuse and mention of rape. (But, no actual rape happening.)

Chapter 1 - Prologue

APOV

Dear Diary,

We're starving and so thirsty. It's been about a day and a half since we've had our last meal and any water. Mama is never home, and when she does come home, she's always with papa. I don't know why they won't feed us; we're just hungry. My tummy keeps grumbling and I know I'm not the only one. Maybe if I go out there and ask her for at some something to drink, she will give us at least a clean glass of freshwater to share.

xxx xxx

"Mama! Mama! Mama, please help me! I just wanted some water!" I try to scream, but there is no answer, my words come out hoarse and barely above a whisper. My throat is so dry from the lack of water and I silently cry because he just keeps on kicking me with his foot when I'm already down.

"Get up bitch! This is what you get for asking for your mother! I told you not to bother us when I'm home; you know what happened last time! It seems like you didn't learn your fucking lesson, little girl!" He yells at me.

"I-I-I'll scream and call the cops!" I tell him but deeply regret it afterward.

He pushes me roughly against the wall while his body is pinning me onto the wall, his face is just a couple of inches away from my mine, I can smell his breath which is strong of cigarette smoke. Gross.

"Go ahead and give it a try, little girl. As you can see, there are no phones in this damned house. So, if you want to call the cops, you can't. But, even if you did try, I'll kill you so quick that you wouldn't even be able to blink before it happens. If you scream, I'll gag you. Got it?" I flinch at his words and just nod.

"Good little girl, I think I haven't made myself clear enough! It's time that you get what you deserve!" He roars and steps away just a couple more inches away from me.

I hear him unbuckle his belt from his pants and I know what's coming.

He starts to whip me over and over again even the belt buckle hitting my skin every couple of whips. After each whip of the belt to my skin, it begins to get unbearable and I want to scream out in agony. But I won't give this sadistic fucker the pleasure of my screams. Each whip is harder than the last and the belt buckle pierces through my skin with every lash. No doubt he's broken my skin and I'm profusely bleeding, but he doesn't even care. He gets pure joy inflicting pain on me like he always does. This isn't the first time that he's hit me with the belt, but this has to be the worst! I was just thirsty and wanted some water, but he was busy putting a needle in my mom's arm when I interrupted them.

After 30 lashes to my sensitive skin, I lay on the ground curled up in a ball hugging myself and shaking. He walks towards me then roughly takes a hand full of my hair in his hand and pulls hard so that I'm looking up at him eye to eye.

"Now that I think you've learned your lesson… Who's going to be a good little girl and strip for daddy?" he says with a malicious smirk on his face.

"St-strip? You mean you want me to ta-ta-take my clothes off?" I stutter.

He's never asked me to do this before. Usually, when he's done with my brutal punishments, he'll leave me to tend to myself.

"Yes bitch, I want you to strip! Did I stutter? When I demand you to do something, you do it. Immediately." He eyes say looking me straight in the eyes.

I know that I absolutely don't want to strip for him because I know the blood from his punishment will no longer be absorbed by my clothes. I don't have many shirts left. But, it looks like I have no choice. Plus, these aren't the only scares from him… cigarette burns. Fucking cigarette burns. I have three of them lined up on each of my inner thighs, four on each wrist, four on each shoulder, and six on my chest.

When I look at my body, I look at it in disgust and horror! He made me ugly. He made my body unrecognizable. He made me fear to look at myself in the mirror. But I need to do this; I need to take care of my sisters and keep them safe... I would never subject them to the pain and agony that I go through; I could never live with myself if anything happened to them. My shit of a mother never gave a care in the world about us; why she brought us into this world, I have no idea. But, I will do everything and anything to protect my little sisters.

Even if that's extra lashes to the belt, extra cigarette burns to my body and being emotionally, physically and mentally abused. I'll take it all for them.

So I stand up and strip, I take my dirty clothes off, place them on the ground, take my arms, and hug myself to guard my body while standing straight. I feel so exposed. So uncomfortable. So dirty.

While I'm standing there, I hear a loud cry coming from the other room. Oh no, Elizabeth is crying. She must be hungry or just waking up. I pick my clothes up off the floor immediately and try to cover my body as best as I could.

"Uh, uh, uh little girl… what do you think you are doing? I was admiring the work of art I did to your body and you try to cover it up just from the noise of a cry? Put the clothes down now!" He yells at me while moving his pointer finger left and right.

"Please just let me go to her. Please!" I beg.

"Did I tell you to answer back to me? Put those clothes on the ground now or I'll get that little bitch and have her taste the lashes of my belt too." He smirks.

"No! Please don't! I'll do what you want!" I throw the clothes on the floor and stand there awkwardly.

I'm hoping the cries of our youngest sister, Elizabeth wakes Kate up so that they can tend to whatever she needs. I think I have some crackers hidden in our closet. I hope we have just something, anything because I know Elizabeth is probably just hungry.

He snaps his fingers and eyes me up and down, then looks me straight in the eyes with a hint of amusement. I shudder at the thought of the things he plans on doing to me, but I try to remain emotionless. He stands up and unbuckles the buttons and pulls down the zipper of his jeans; standing before me.

"Let me show my little girl what papa does to your mama every. single. night." He grits out.

He pulls me by the hair and forces me straight onto the bed.

My face is being held down to the bed with his forceful hand.

"No, no please papa. Don't do this." I beg.

With his other hand, he takes a condom out and rolls it on him.

"I can make you feel unimaginable things, baby girl. Just wait and see." He whispers.

I hear him unzip his jeans and the sound of him opening up a packet is in my ear. Next thing I know his dick is right at the entrance of my pussy and just as he is about to push my mother comes stumbling in interrupting him.

"Honey, I need another hit. Please give me another hit." He looks up and smiles.

"Sure love." He replies back. He quickly lets me go, gets up and pulls his pants up.

I'm silently crying and thanking God that he did not just rape me. "Thank you, God, thank you, God, thank you." I silently say.

He takes my mother by her arm and pulls her into their room, no doubt about to do what he had just done to me and supplying her with more drugs. She really went with him without questioning what he was doing to me in that position. She really doesn't care. How pathetic of me to even think she would care.

I close my eyes and lay there for what feels like hours…. Alone. I feel so alone. Dead. I feel so dead inside. I cry because my mom does nothing to stop this abuse. I cry because I want a better life for my siblings and I. I cry because I'm stronger than this, but he's broken me down. Broken. I feel useless and utterly broken. Nothing, I no longer feel anything.

I slowly begin to pick up my things and crawl to the room where I share a twin-sized bed with my siblings. I open the door and look up and what I see breaks my heart... Kate in consoling my twin sister, Elizabeth in her arms while they are in the corner of the room. I close the door behind me, sit in the middle of the small room, and look at my siblings; their blue eyes are looking back at me with puffiness, which tells me they've been crying. I can't help but try and put a strong face on for them. I open up my arms, motion for them to come towards me, and they run into me throwing their arms around me so tightly which causes us to drop to the floor. I wince in pain from the belt lashes. But the love I have for them has no bounds; I will endure pain for them even if that means I'm broken down physically. We just lay there after everything that has happened.

My mind takes me back to the night I'll never forget. It's when I saw him throw a few kicks to Elizabeth's side a couple of years ago…

I nearly lost it and tried to attack him. My attack was useless because he pushed me so hard that I hit the wall with a loud thud and ended up with a pounding headache. My trying to intervene resulted in Elizabeth getting subjected to more blows to the stomach and back. Seeing my younger sister in pain broke my heart. After she was done with her beating, I laid right next to Elizabeth trying to console her because she was breaking out in sobs and hugging herself. I carried her to the bedroom and put her on the bed where Kate was sleeping. That night I vowed that my he will never lay a finger on my sisters, even if that means he has to lay a finger on me.

I'm brought back to the now when Kate tries to wiggle her way out of three-way hug but, I continue to hug my sibling's so tight remembering that night. To be subjected to go through the things we've gone through at such an age was never what I expected for myself and my siblings. I always thought our mom loved us; my mind wanders back to a time where she smiled, laughed, cared, fed and clothed us. It all changed because of him. Now all the good things about my mom seem like such a distant memory.

I will try my hardest to be there for Kate and Elizabeth even if it's just us three for the rest of our lives and we live on the streets. I wish our daddy were here; I know he'd protect us. But sadly, he's gone….

This is where I draw my strength. This is whom I fight for every single day. I pray to God that we get out of this situation. My sisters are my life and I will protect them no matter the cost.

Author's' note: Let me clarify a couple of things: Yes, Christian and Ana do share a very similar past. How they choose to cope with their past, we will have to wait and see. I decided for Ana to have siblings mainly because I needed her to draw strength from somewhere. All will be revealed in due time.

Abuse is not the easiest thing to go through whether that be physical, psychological, sexual, substance, etc. All forms of abuse even if received in the "slightest" form is abuse. Just like abuse, there are many forms of rape. If someone says no, just put means no.

Don't forget to leave a review and share your thoughts with me. x