Ok so this idea hit me while I was cleaning my room and I couldn't write it right away cause I was well cleaning my room and my sister was on writing her stories. Therefore I had to write this now. Enjoy!
-Tobi
IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!
This story takes place as if Kenpachi and Unohana came with Yachiru to join the fight against the arrancars. Kenpachi and Unohana are a couple (YES I SUPPORT THIS PAIRING!) and have been given the orders to get jobs because there was no way in hell they would be able to pass off as Karakura high students. Yachiru is in the Karakura elementary school as a student. This is my story and we'll go by MY terms! Enjoy! –Tobi
This was utterly pointless and may even lead to boredom. But Unohana was having fun with her job but why couldn't he? Oh ya, she was doing what she loved to do and he would be doing what he loved to do had his so called warriors been actually strong. But the look on Kurosaki's face when he saw him there was absolutely priceless. Unohana had taken up the job as school nurse at Karakura elementary and he had taken up the task of teaching the pathetically useless and utterly weak students of Karakura high how to do simple, and when he said simple he meant simple, drills. Such as running laps, doing jumping jacks, and worst of all dodge ball. But the eleventh division captain had managed to survive by giving these drills a Zaraki-taicho touch. Running laps has become running one hundred and fifty laps, jumping jacks have become grunge jumping jacks or at least that's what he calls them, the all around summary of them was the 'if-you-don't-do-at-east-twenty-jumping-jacks-in-one-minute-then-your-head-is-mine-bitch' jumping jacks, and as for dodge ball well his rules were ' if you cry then your out, if you complain your gone, if you get hit in the head your out, if you get hit anywhere else your still in, and if you send some one to the nurses office you get a cookie'. He thought his rules were at least making his stay the tiniest bit amusing mostly due to the fact that he was able to give people detention if they even looked at him funny.
But this was just bad. Last week they got a letter from Yachiru's teacher that requested a parent-teacher conference. Dear lord the closest thing to parents Yachiru had where himself and Unohana and you can't exactly see the resemblance. Since Kenpachi wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box Unohana had to tell him to just say we're her foster parents and Zaraki just nodded in agreement. He wondered what this was about, but Unohana said that she hadn't heard anything. 'Good,' he thought 'that means she hasn't caused any medical injuries, I don't wanna get pegged for something that little brat did.'
As they entered the classroom Kenpachi scoffed at what he saw. There were so many bright and vibrant colors with inanimate objects with smiling faces on them. Some of them looked like they were supposed to be dancing. Zaraki almost shuddered. Then he looked at some familiar pieces of art. Yachiru always had a thing for drawing herself swinging her zanpaktou around at a hallow in a field of flowers. No doubt he would mention that at this conference.
They sat in two chairs and waited for the teacher while Yachiru ran around the classroom showing him and Unohana her work, undoubtedly so she would give her a lollypop. The teacher walked in to find this scene and Zaraki took his time to see what this guy looked like. He had a crumpled brown suite with a red tie with little yellow diamonds on it. He wore black shoes that seemed to be a size too big and his hair was a comb over and was a poor attempt to hide his obvious baldness. His hair was white and when he saw Kenpachi he looked nervous beyond belief and when he saw Unohana he looked confused beyond belief.
He took a seat at his desk and began his requested conference.
" Um, so who might you be?" asked the lanky man directing his question toward Zaraki.
" I'm Yachiru's foster dad." Said the towering man.
" And may I ask why nurse Unohana is here?" he asked again.
" Oh, I'm Yachiru's foster mom." She replied cheerfully, seeming completely unaware of Yachiru's constant pleas for candy as the teacher dawned the look of total shock. Obviously it would have been very odd trying to comprehend an elementary school nurse with a rather frightening looking man.
" So you wasted my time calling us here because…" said Kenpachi quite bored and slightly annoyed by the look that teacher just made.
" Oh, well, Yachiru is a nice young girl but she seems to be amused in the strangest ways which are upsetting for the other children." He explained.
" Ya so?" Kenpachi asked not quite seeing a problem.
" She's been giving the other children nick names that are upsetting them. Like young Kashimu and Arkiri." He clarified.
" Oh, he means beaver-chan and spotty-chan, I think… do you mean the boy with the big teeth and the girl that has all those dots on her face?" Yachiru suddenly jumped in " they got all sad when I gave them nick names! I wonder why, but it was funny and they cried when I started laughing!"
" Do you see what I mean?" he said.
" Uh, no if those kids are too wimpy to take a verbal hit than maybe this school should teach 'em how to grow a fucking back bone." He said rather rudely "besides if they can't hold onto Yachiru's humor and see that she's just having some fun maybe they need some brains, wait isn't that what you're here for?"
" What Kenpachi is trying to say is that Yachiru isn't good with names so she gives people nick names based entirely on how they look and even then she sometimes forgets her nick names for them and gives them new ones. But the people she's usually around with she just short forms their names into nick names, like she dose with Kenpachi and I." Unohana chimed in.
" Ya I hang out with Ken-chan and Uno-chan a lot since I live with them and I like to ride on Ken-chan's left shoulder and don't you try to or I'll bite you!" she said protectively clasping onto Zaraki's left shoulder.
" Um, if you're her foster parents, why dose she give you nick names instead of calling you mom and dad?" he asked.
" Because we're not her mom and dad even though we've had her since she was a baby!" said Unohana " besides it wasn't even me who had her as a baby it was Kenpachi I only came along a few months and Yachiru warms up to people really easily."
" Well that might be the case and now that we have that solved we can move on to something else that seems to be rather disturbing. Her art happens to feature her battling in a very unique outfit in a field of flowers with a sword and chasing a masked creature with a hulking body that looks like it wants to eat her and she's smiling! Is there a cause for this?" the teacher asked.
" No not really she just enjoys seeing sadness and blood and fighting things like me. It makes her happy so just let it be." said Kenpachi quite calmly. He teacher just looked at him a moment raised his finger as if about to comment and then set it back down.
"Alrighty then moving on. Maybe you should spend some more time with Yachiru to study, her grades are slipping far, tell me, dose she have any mental deficiencies?" he asked and the next thing her knew, Unohana got up and ripped up a computer from the side of the classroom with amazing strength and whipped it across the room, hitting him square in the head.
" How dare you say that about Yachiru! She's a smart girl with good intensions and a happy heart! Your tests mean nothing to me! She's never been taught anything in her life because there are no schools where we lived and our jobs didn't allow us to teach her! Hell, Kenpachi had to scrounge time to teach her how to kick ass! And you call your self a teacher! (Here she began stomping on him) I otta sue you, or better yet, kill you! Hide the evidence you heartless bastard!"
Kenpachi and Yachiru just watched this in utter shock.
" This is the coolest thing I've ever seen." Kenpachi whispered to Yachiru.
"GO UNO-CHAN!" shouted Yachiru.
" I think we're done here, Kenpachi and Yachiru, lets go." Unohana said harshly.
They got up without objection and silently walked out the door. Until…
" Uno-chan can I please have a lollypop?" asked Yachiru.
" Of course, Yachiru, why didn't you ask me before?" said the woman, handing her a big and multi-colored lollypop.
" Yay!" she shouted and the rest of the day went pretty much the same but Kenpachi would now look at Unohana in a different light. A more respected light. Anyone who kicked ass like that and healed like a freaking god has to get respect in his book, especially if that person could manage Yachiru aswell. You had to be a god to do that.
Well how was that? I thought it was pretty cute. But tell me what you think! R & R!
-Tobi