AN: I obviously do not own Grey's Anatomy. Just borrowing some wonderfully created characters to make my life a little more fun. :)
Meredith sat staring intensely down the road of past mistakes and impending numbness. She wanted it badly. She could almost feel her throat instinctively heat up as she stared at it. Her cheeks prickled and saliva entered her mouth to act as an imminent buffer. She kept her hands in her lap to keep from impulsively picking up the shot glass and throwing the tequila down her throat and into her soul. Her eyes began to burn as she engaged in a high stakes stare down of one of her many vices. Here was the catalyst from which all other mistakes would stem. Yeah she had Daddy issues. Mommy ones too. But hell… she could normally keep those locked away, just like everything else. It was usually only with the help of a little tequila did they begin to surface. And surface they would… with a vengeance. Here it was… the source of the long fall down into the pit of despair that she was now residing in. It all began in this bar. Still staring at the tiny glass filled with amber liquid, Meredith could tell the evening crowd was starting to pick up. She knew it was time to go.
"Meredith sweetie…" A familiar voice broke her reverie and she narrowed her eyes one last time at the glass before looking up into the friendly face of Joe. "If you stare at that thing any longer I think it might explode." He said with a grin.
Meredith's features softened noticeably as a little dry humor found its way out. "Yes I know I'm supposed to drink it Joe. But I'm not going to. This is me staring down the devil or whatever."
The friendly man chuckled. "Well you've been coming in and paying for drinks that you do nothing more than stare at for almost two weeks now. Personally I think the devil ran for the hills a few days back. Couldn't stand the heat." Joe winked.
Meredith sank back into her hole a little. "This is it Joe. Right here." She finally picked up the glass as she held it up for him to see. "I may have many, many issues…but this right here…this is what makes me act on them. And I'm tired of it." She reached over the bar, poured the shot in the sink and set the glass back in front of her. She stared at the empty glass and took a deep breath. She wanted to feel empowered. Better off somehow for taking the high road. But just as every other time she abstained from drinking in the past few weeks, she felt nothing. She still felt the same. No better. Bitterly she knew she was doing the right thing. "Dealing" or whatever. But this was definitely not the way she preferred to do it. She preferred the pain free way. Obviously that didn't exist.
"Well… I hope this won't be the end of our friendship. People don't understand the kind of position we bartenders are put in when alcohol causes other people's problems. We somehow become the devil's advocate." Joe said impishly.
"Of course not Joe." Meredith said earnestly. "And I did my own advocating of the devil. I would never think to blame that on anyone else. Least of all you." Meredith reached down for her purse to pull out money for her wasted drink.
"Don't even think about it Meredith." Joe said emphatically. Meredith tried to protest but Joe waived her off. "A little tequila does wonders on those drains. Saves me some time at the end of the night."
Meredith conceded. "Well thank you Joe. I think I'm going to call it a night." She said reaching for her coat.
"Anytime sweetie. Just don't forget about me." Joe grinned as he made his way down to the other side of the bar. Meredith saw her chance and snuck a couple bills under the empty glass before spinning around awkwardly and came crashing into a pair of people. A pair of strong hands caught her as she bounced off.
"Meredith?" A voice asked. A voice that both warmed her heart and iced her veins at the same time.
Explain to me this conspiracy against me
And tell me how I've lost my power
Where can I turn? Cause I need something more.
Surrounded by uncertainty, I'm so unsure.
Tell me why I feel so alone.
Cause I need to know to whom do I owe.
AN: So this is shorter than I thought it would be. Haha. It looks so much longer in Word. :) Hopefully it doesn't suck so far.