Can I Count on You?
By Trycee
Time-Line: Season 7. This is an Alternative Universe story. All Things hasn't happened but this is around the same time and feel of that period.
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-files. This is written for fun not profit.
***Mulder is paralyzed and Scully is caring for him. Mulder becomes bitter. Can Scully handle it? Will their love survive?
Margaret Scully was busy cooking and arranging meals for the freezer but her attention was on her daughter who was in full blown doctor-mode as she wheeled Mulder into her living room. Maggie could tell that Scully was in a stage of prolonged shock as she raced about with Skinner's help bringing in Mulder's fish tank and bags as he sat in his wheelchair, his hands covering his face. He was unresponsive as she called his name numerous times while she busied herself, placing his fish tank on her coffee table and moving his luggage out of the way. Skinner nodded to Maggie acknowledging her presence but his concern too was for Scully.
He lightly touched her elbow and she stopped in her tracks. "Agent, I'm concerned."
"Concerned about what?", she said, staring down at the crumpled form of Mulder before her.
"I'm concerned because you are moving him into your home and not only am I down one agent but I'm now down two with you taking off for an entire month."
Scully turned and stared into Skinner's eyes and he shifted slightly. He could see the determination and he knew she would rather quit than be without Mulder. "You can get a nurse for him, Scully. Now what's happened to Mulder is unfortunate. Its the risk we all take. But moving your partner into your home..."
"You're concerned about fraternization, sir?", she said, through gritted teeth.
"Its not that," he sighed. "Well, part of it is that. But with Mulder recovering from his gunshot wound and adjusting to life," he paused, noticing that Mulder remained slumped over. "Paralyzed, Agent Scully, I now have no one in the X-files division. I'm not just down one agent but two."
"Sir, I have more things to worry about right now," Scully said. "I'm taking a month off. I'll be back. I'm sure that's what Mulder wants."
"This goes beyond being his partner," Skinner said, raising his voice slightly.
"It does," Scully agreed. "But I think you already knew that," she said, staring directly at him. "I have always done that," she said. "I always will."
She glanced over to Mulder but he still hadn't responded to anything. "I have to do this," she said, as her eyes began to water but she wouldn't let the tears fall. "This is not between the FBI, this is personal, sir, between Mulder and I."
Skinner nodded. He glanced over to Maggie who was pretending not to be listening and then looked back at Scully who had placed a hand on Mulder's back, her full attention on him.
"Call if you need anything," Skinner added.
"Thank You."
Skinner turned and walked to the door. He looked back at Mulder but again saw no movement. "Do you need help with moving him?", he asked.
Scully glanced over to her mother and then back. "Ah, no, I think we can handle it. Thanks again, sir."
Scully could hear the door slam close when he left but she was still fully focused on Mulder. She knelt down in front of him and touched covered his hands with hers. "Mulder," she said, so softly. "Please, look at me."
"No," he said, shaking his head. "Scully, I...can't," he said, pushing her hands away from his. "I just want to be alone."
Scully stood up and looked at her mother.
"I changed the linen," Maggie said, her heart aching as she watched them. "We'll help you to your room."
"I don't want a room, I want my apartment," Mulder said.
She could see the dullness in his eyes. He looked lifeless and dead-inside and it scared it.
"I thought for awhile you'd stay with me," Scully said. "So I can help you."
He kept his eyes covered but said nothing else. Scully wheeled him towards her spare bedroom with her mother following behind her. They positioned the wheelchair so they could stand Mulder up briefly and lay him down on his side and then push him over. Neither of them was prepared for Mulder's height and dead-weight and he nearly toppled over both of them. They managed to get him into bed but he'd nearly slid off the bed but with all of their strength they had pushed him back on to the bed. Scully began to sob and her mother wrapped her arms around her. "Its okay, Dana. Its okay."
"No it isn't," Scully said, as she cried into her shoulder. "Mom...It will never be the same again!"
Mulder lay there listening at her tears. He turned and could see her crying against her mother but he turned his head away. A bullet had been shot from a suspect that they had both been chasing and the gunshot wound had caused nerve damage to his spine. The doctors couldn't be sure if it would be permanent or temporary paralysis. Only time would tell.
"I know how you feel about him," Maggie whispered, as she looked into the pouty face of her daughter. "I know how he feels about you," she continued. "It will be okay. One day at a time."
Scully nodded and swallowed her tears down. She wiped her face and then turned back to Mulder. "Let's move him in the center," she said. "That way he doesn't fall."
Mulder could only feel their hands on his arms. He felt exposed and ashamed as they tried to center him. He was healthy, fit and trim but he knew his weight was too much for Scully to handle, especially with him being incapable of helping her. Maggie walked over to the door. "I'll be in the kitchen."
"I'm gonna strip him out of these clothes."
"You got it?", Maggie asked.
"Yes of course," Scully said, shyly. "I've done it before when he was injured."
"Yell if you need me," Maggie said, leaving them alone.
Mulder stared up at the ceiling. He was gloomy and depressed. "Funny how life changes so fast," he said.
Scully sat down on the bed facing him. "Mulder...", she said in a whisper.
"I'll never get to do the things I thought I would," he said, looking at the ceiling.
"Like what?", she said, as her tears dropped onto the clean sheets.
"Why didn't I love you when I had the chance," he said, as he stared out into nothingness.
Scully covered her mouth as she cried out and curled over, laying against his chest. He reached out and touched her back, running his fingers up and down the curve of her spine. "I'm sorry, Scully," he said, as anger began to boil up inside him. "I was such a fool."
Scully sat up and stared into his eyes. "No, Mulder. I didn't tell you I loved you and I should have. I thought that the time would come that I would show you."
"Its too late now," he said resigning himself to his fate. "Help me out of these clothes, Scully!"
She searched his eyes and could tell that he was frustrated and angry over his life at that moment. "You have every right to feel what you feel," she said. "But don't give up hope, Mulder. I know you'll walk again. I know it."
"That makes one of us," he said, turning his head from her.
She sat there staring at the side of his head for a long moment and then stood up and began to help him take off his shirt. She undid his belt buckle and his pants slid off easily. Mulder lay before her in an adult diaper. She could see the pain in Mulder's face as he lay there, disgraced in front of her. She touched his cheek and lightly kissed it and then covered him with a blanket.
"Let me know if you need anything," she said, as she stood at the door, looking back at him. "I'll come immediately, I promise."
There was only silence as she turned and closed the door leaving it slightly ajar.
When she round the corner and came to her kitchen she could see the look on her mother's face. "Mom, I can handle it."
"Dana, you're gonna need help."
"I can do this."
"What about lifting him?," Maggie asked. "What about changing him?"
She licked her lips nervously. "Mom, I have taken care of Mulder before."
"I know, Dana but not like this. He has no control over anything now."
"Mom!"
"Dana, Fox is a proud man. I don't think he would want you wiping his bottom."
Scully sighed. "I know."
"His life has just changed completely, Dana. You need to let him keep his dignity," Maggie said, handing her the phone. "Call a service."
Scully snatched the phone from her mother's grasp. "Mulder may not want me to do that part," she sighed. "But he wouldn't want anyone else taking care of him."
"You're right," Maggie said. "But you could use the help, Dana. You and I can't lift him and move him. What if this goes on. What are you going to do if his paralysis is permanent."
Scully's eyes were cast down but she raised them up and stared into her mother's eyes. "I think you know how I feel about him."
Maggie touched her daughter's shoulder. "I do know."
"I'll do whatever it takes," she said, as tears trickled down her cheeks. "I won't give up on him."
"I know you want, honey. I felt that same way about your father. My concern is you...and Fox, but I don't want you trying to do more than you can do. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of Fox."
"Okay," Scully said, as she looked through the phone book pages. She dialed the number. "Yes, I need some help," she said into the receiver.
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