AN: I've been wanting to do something like this for awhile now, but never really knew how to approach the subject, but two nights ago a part of the movie Casper got stuck in my head and before I knew it I couldn't stop writing.
Now when I was writing this down on paper, I was fine, but as I started typing it and listening to the song " One Last Wish" from the movie Casper, I couldn't stop crying, so don't be shocked if you need tissues.
Anyway I hope you all enjoy this.
Rubbing his eyes, Draco turned on the baby monitor before closing his bedroom door and crawling into bed. Nighttime was never this hard, in fact he used to love this time during the day. Him and his husband, would get their son ready for bed then once James was asleep, they would reconnect. Whether it was taking a shower together, laying in bed and talking about their day, or just spending half the night making love….that would always be their special time. Now…. All the nights did was bring back painful memories. Getting under the covers, the male allowed his mind to travel back to the worst day of his life.
Two weeks ago, Draco was sitting in his office, trying to come up with a lesson plan for next years Potions students, when he heard a loud thud and a baby crying. Running into their bedroom, Draco found Harry on the floor unconscious and James screaming his head off. Trying not to panic, Draco called Hermione and with her and Ron's help they floo powered to Saint Mungo's, all hoping it wasn't serious, but it was. Two hours later, Harry James Potter Malfoy was pronounced dead due to a brain aneurysm, but adding to the heartbreak was finding out his husband was also five weeks pregnant, but with the aneurysm the baby died as well.
_Closing his eyes, Draco took a deep breath. Realizing he was crying, shocked the man because he honestly didn't think he had any tears left. Opening his eyes back up, he turned his head and glanced over at the picture sitting on his night stand. Picking up the frame, Draco traced his finger over Harry's smiling face. Out of all the pictures the couple took, this one was always his favorite. It was their engagement photo.
" Harry please come back to me….I'll do whatever I have to do, just please come back to me….I never got a chance to say goodbye….Harry….I never got a chance to say I love you one last time."
Sobbing quietly so he didn't wake the baby, Draco crawled under the covers and while holding the picture close to his heart, the younger man closed his eyes and fell into an unsettling sleep.
An hour later, however something caused Draco to jump up from his sleep. Looking around the room, but not being able to find anything, Draco jumped out of bed and ran into the baby's room, but sighed in relief when he spotted nothing out of place and James still sleeping in the same position, his father left him in.
Hoping and probably figuring it was just stress from the past couple weeks, the wizard walked back into his room to try and get some more sleep, but as he turned to shut out the light, Draco spotted a figure of his husband standing by the closed bedroom door.
_Draco couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it. Standing two feet away from him and their bed was Harry. His wonderful, loving, caring, Harry.
Not really knowing what to say, he continued watching the man walk closer into their bedroom.
" Hey Draco."
Chuckling at the silence, he was getting, Harry sat down at the edge of the bed, and started rubbing his husband's leg.
" It's ok. I'm here now."
Hearing him say that, the dam broke and before he knew it, Draco started sobbing.
" I'm so incredibly sorry Harry. I'm sorry I couldn't save you….I'm sorry I didn't take care of you….I'm sorry our son is going to grow up without you….I'm just so sorry."
Grasping the younger man's hand, Harry gently gave it a loving squeeze.
" Draco what happened is not your fault. If anyone is to blame it's me."
Shooting his head up, Draco gave Harry a confused look.
" Why would I blame you?"
Giving his husband an apologetic smile, Harry confessed.
" Because I was having really bad headaches for over a week, before I collapsed."
_Draco felt his heart stop. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander back to that awful day when he found his husband unconscious in their bedroom. Trying to calm down, the man took a few deep breaths before finding the right words.
" You mean to tell me….your death could have been prevented?"
Watching his partner nod his head, Draco started hyperventilating and shaking all over again.
" Oh god….oh god….oh god….oh god….no…..no…no…..no….this can't be happening…..this just can't be happening."
Feeling his heart break, Harry ran over to Draco to try and calm him down, but wasn't surprised when he was pushed away.
" Draco….baby….please calm down. I never met to hurt you…I just didn't think it was that serious."
Jumping out of bed, Draco started pacing back and forth.
" Having a headache for more than three days is serious Harry! You could still be alive right now if you told me! You could still be with your family if you told me! Bloody hell we could be talking about the new baby right now if you told me! I mean damn it Harry….I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye or I love you!"
Continuing to pace and fume, Draco was so lost, in his own world, he didn't hear Harry make a comment about something.
" What did you say?"
Letting out a deep breath, Harry looked into the eyes of his beloved.
" I said you were right."
Instead of feeling pissed, Draco let out a small laugh.
" So….after six years of being enemies, four years of being lovers, and three years of being husbands….you finally admit I was right about something….not bad."
Grateful the tension was broken, Harry laughed as well.
" Yeah well….I'm a slow learner."
Dropping his head, Draco fell back onto the bed with a sigh.
" Feeling better?"
Looking into the bright emerald green eyes, he fell in love with, the young man grunted.
" No….not really."
" Why….what's wrong?"
" It's just….I really have no clue what I'm doing!?"
_Hating to see the lost look in Draco's eyes, Harry crawled onto the bed and laid down next to his husband.
" Draco every parent feels that way….it's only natural. Do you remember when he was born? I was terrified because he was so little, but you calmed me down and told me everything is going to be ok. So now I'm going to tell you the exact same thing….everything is going to be ok. You can do this….I have faith."
Pushing back some stray hair, Draco gave Harry a soft smile.
" I just didn't think I was going to be doing this by myself."
Returning the smile, Harry gave raised his eyebrow.
" But you don't have to do this by yourself. You have a wonderful support system just waiting to be used. Molly, your mom, Ginny, Hermione….they are all ready to help at a moment's notice."
" I know….it's just….you survived the dark lord hundreds of times….and every day James does something that reminds me of you….it's just not fair….I need you….our son needs you….I mean we didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."
Raising his hand, Harry brushed away some of the tears.
" I know love, believe me I know."
Then climbing on top of Draco's lap, Harry brought their lips together and a small innocent kiss turned into a full blown make out session.
_Absolutely loving the fact that he was making out with his husband, lover, best friend again, Draco didn't notice Harry start to slow down, until he pulled his head back and was now staring at the clock.
" Harry….what's wrong?"
Sighing softly and allowing himself to shed a few tears, the said man turned his attention back over to Draco.
" It's time for me to go and for you to wake up."
Starting to feel that emptiness again at the thought of never seeing him again, Draco started to panic.
" But….I don't want to loose you again."
" You will never loose me, because I will always be with you. Every time you close your eyes and you feel warmth, that's me holding you close or when you feel the breeze tickle your neck…that will be me kissing you."
Still not liking the idea of being separated from his partner, Draco grabbed hold of his arm and held on tight.
" Where are you going?"
Leaning back down, Harry's voice broke as he lightly whispered in his ear.
" To a place where I can watch over my boys, until we can be together again."
Then moving from his ear to his lips, Harry gave his soul mate one last soft kiss.
" Goodbye Draco…..I love you forever and always."
_ Taking a deep breath and trying to blink away the fuzziness, Draco turned towards the clock and noticed it was a little after 3 in the morning. Rubbing the back of his neck, the man tried to remember what he was just dreaming about and what caused him to wake up in the first place, but he just couldn't. Shrugging it off, he took a deep breath into his pillow and his eyes shot opened. His pillow smelt like Harry….in fact the entire room had Harry's scent as if the older man was actually there.
" Please remember."
Going with his gut, Draco closed his eyes and allowed himself to get wrapped in the warmth of his husband. Suddenly he remembered everything about the dream. Harry talking to him, holding him, kissing him, saying goodbye to him.
With his eyes still closed, Draco allowed himself to think about all the wonderful times he shared with his husband. The happy Christmas's, their wedding, their wedding night, the birth of their child. Every memory he held near and dear to his heart engulfed him with a feeling of peace.
_ Opening his eyes, Draco walked out of the room and five minutes later, came back but this time with James in his arms. Laying back down, the man made sure his sleeping son was safe and secure
Turning off the bedroom light once again, snuggled against his son and this time with happy tears in his eyes, he took a quick glance at his wedding band and smiled.
" Goodbye Harry….I love you always and forever."