TITLE: With You By Myself

AUTHOR: Bellerophon

EMAIL: bellerophon_666@hotmail.com

CATEGORY: WWE

RATING: PG15

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. Don't sue me.

DISTRIBUTION: If you want it, just let me know.

SUMMARY: Edge and Christian talk through their problems in odd circumstances.

WITH YOU BY MYSELF

Feel the sharpness of the night

Walk into darkness, outta sight

Oh, just don't take that final step

You'll be missed, you know I care.

~ Real People, Killing Heidi ~

The bar was loud and noisy, just the way Edge liked it. The beer was good, the music wasn't that pop 'Britney Christina Agu-whatever' crap, and it was funny as hell watching Rey Mysterio hit on women with corny pick-up lines. All in all, it was shaping up to be a decent night.

Edge picked up his beer and laughed as Rey got a glass of water thrown over him. The woman glared at him before stalking off and Rey came waltzing over.

"She wants me, man."

"Yeah, like a terminal disease." Edge sniggered. "What line did you use that time?"

"I said, 'My name's Rey. That's so you'll know what to scream when we're back at my place'." Rey shrugged. "I don't get what got her so pissed off."

Edge winced. "If someone said that to me, I'd do more than throw a drink on them."

"Oh my god." Rey pointed through the crowd. "Check it out. Angle's taking a walk on the wild side."

Edge turned and snorted when he saw the Olympic Dork slowly making his way across the room. Kurt looked like he was trying to avoid touching any of the people in the crowded bar. He spotted Edge and Rey and made his way over to them.

Rey turned away and ordered a beer. He wasn't willing to get into a fight that could involve getting the ankle-lock again. Damn, but did his ankle ache since Kurt did that.

"Hey, Kurt." Edge grinned. "I don't know if the ladies here go for the hairless butt-plug look, but I think there's a club nearby called 'Man Oh Man' that you might like."

Kurt didn't start yelling like Edge expected him to. Instead, he just stared at Edge, his eyes red and puffy.

Edge raised an eyebrow. "Okay, baldy, you're starting to freak me out. What do you want?"

"It's...it's Christian."

Edge sighed and rolled his eyes. He should've known that "What's he done now?"

Kurt blinked before shaking his head. "It's not like that." His voice shook as he spoke again. "There's been an accident."

*********

He sat in the sterile room, head in his hands. The room was silent except for the continuous beeping of a heart monitor, it's sound letting him know that his brother was still alive, still battling and fighting to keep breathing.

The doctors had told him that Christian had no right to still be alive. That any other person would be dead and buried by now. That he would never wake up. He would be in a coma forever.

All because Christian lost his footing while attempting a Cross Body from the top rope on Booker T during a tag match and landed badly on the ring steps. Edge's brother would never speak or fight or feel again all because he couldn't keep his goddamn balance. Edge breathed out shakily and looked up at the man lying on the bed.

Christian lay there pale and motionless. The bed seemed too large as a back drop to lack of movement. Edge could not recall him ever looking so fragile or helpless.

"They're wrong, you know."

Edge froze. That voice was scarily familiar. He sat still and hoped he wasn't going crazy.

"It so wasn't my ineptitude that caused me to turn into a cucumber."

Edge realised the voice was coming from beside him. He turned slowly and swore that his heart stopped when he saw who was next to him.

"It was that beater Goldust trying to ram a chair through my back. Like I would've fallen if he hadn't broken my third vertebrate. Totally heinous."

Christian turned from where he sat next to Edge and grinned at his shocked brother. "Hey, Edge. Surprise."

"But...but...but..." Edge gaped at Christian. He blinked rapidly before looking back at the bed. Christian was still lying on the bed. He looked back. Christian was also sitting next to him in one of the god-awful hospital chairs, grinning like an idiot. "But you're..."

"In a coma?" Christian nodded. "I know. It's pretty sucky, isn't it? But they bend the rules sometimes, so I got to come and visit you."

Edge was still in too much shock to form sentences. He stared at the image of his brother next to him and realised that he wasn't solid. He looked real but parts of him faded in and out, and occasionally he would flash into images of himself in the past or pale and dead-looking like the Christian on the hospital bed.

"Have I gone crazy?" Edge whispered, rubbing his eyes. "I'm going to need a straightjacket, aren't I? I'm going to get sent to the loony bin and have to eat mashed food for the rest of my life."

"Well, that could happen. I mean, I wouldn't go around telling people my brother came to me while he was in a coma. But that's just me." Christian shrugged. "As far as your sanity's concerned, you're not actually insane."

"But you can't be there…and here," Edge stumbled as he stared at his brother. Christian stared right back, without the shocked expression. He looked like Edge's brother, same blue eyes, same long blonde hair, same cheeky grin. He looked like Christian.

"Okay, dude. It's going to get real old if you're just going to sit there and try and understand what's going on." Christian huffed and sat back in his chair. "You're not the brightest candle in the box, so let's just skip to the part where we talk."

Edge felt the familiar irritation that tingled whenever Christian began getting huffy. "Explain how you're here."

Christian rolled his eyes. "I don't know. All I know is I get to come back and fix things up at this end. Why should I complain?"

"Okay," Edge decided to just go with the flow and let questions come later. He looked at his brother on the bed again. "It was pretty stupid going for a top rope move if Goldust really did stuff your back."

"I'll remember that next time." Christian sighed before looking up at Edge. "I'm dying, you know."

Edge's eyes widened. "But the doctors said it was a coma. You don't die in a coma."

"I will." Christian replied smoothly. "I'm not going to lie around for years, while doctors come in and gawk at me. No way. I'm gonna pull the plug, dude, metaphorically speaking." He shrugged and Edge was struck by how otherworldly Christian seemed. His eyes shifted from blue to gray to green to blue again. "So you're running out of time. It's not going to be much longer. We gotta say what we need to say before it's too late."

Edge swallowed. "Why'd you do it?" He knew he didn't need to elaborate, Christian would know what he was talking about. That question had tortured him for the past year. Why had his brother turned on him?

"To tell you the truth, I don't remember. It all fades a bit, becomes hazy." Christian smiled slightly and dimples raised on his cheeks. "It's not important any more anyway. All of it, all the shit we pulled on other people. Everything we did to each other. None of it matters anymore."

Edge frowned. "What...what do you mean?"

"I'm free." Christian looked at his brother and Edge was struck by how clear Christian's eyes were. He was mesmerised by the enveloping blue depths and the compassionate light that shone from them. "All the earthbound crap gets left behind. You only take the things that matter with you."

"What are the things that matter?"

"Friends, memories, feelings, family." Christian smiled wistfully. "The people you love."

Edge nodded slowly and couldn't think of anything else he wanted to say. He felt wretched and terrible but he couldn't think of what to say. It was all too much.

"I'm sorry." Christian said. "Even though it shouldn't bother me any more, it does. Whatever my reasons were, they were petty and stupid. I never really felt good about myself after that night, no matter what I did." He paused and looked down at his hands. "I always wanted to tell you that."

Edge tried to swallow the lump in his throat and keep his voice from breaking as he spoke. "Thank you."

"It's time for me to go." Christian said softly. "I have to go now."

"I'm scared," Edge whispered. "I don't want you to die."

"Don't be. There's nothing to be afraid of." Christian sighed. "You remember watching 'Hook'?"

"Yeah." Edge frowned. "That movie totally sucked. What's it got to do with anything?"

"'Death is the next adventure'," Christian quoted. "They got it right, man. You can't stop it, you can't fight it. Just go along for the ride and enjoy it. It's going to happen whether you want it to or not."

"Aren't you scared to die?" Edge asked uncertainly.

"Not a bit." Christian smiled knowingly. "You won't be either. You'll understand when it's your turn."

"Promise me I'll see you again before," Edge stumbled over his words, "before you go."

Christian sat back in the hospital chair and looked at himself lying on the bed. It was long time before he spoke again. "One more time. You'll see me one more time." He looked back at Edge, who tried not to show his apprehension at the intense stare. "After that, the next time we meet will be forever."

Edge turned away, disturbed and frightened by the otherworldly sense surrounding his younger brother. The room seemed to become tiny and filled with the sound of a heartbeat. Edge tried to restrain his rising fear as the sound grew louder and louder, echoing in his head and filling his mind. The heartbeat pounded more rapidly, the thudding becoming overwhelming until Edge felt like his own chest was going to explode. His head filled with images of light and darkness and silence and noise and he could barely think of anything at all. The heartbeat became all that he knew and all that he could feel.

Then it stopped. Edge swayed in his seat as he re-adjusted to the room and the empty silence filled only by a high pitched tone that Edge assumed was a ringing in his ears from the loud noise. As his senses returned, he realised that it wasn't his affected hearing, but the monitor attached to Christian that was letting out the shrill monotonous tone. Christian's heart had stopped.

Edge turned to look for the apparition of his brother in the seat next to him, already knowing what he would see.

Christian was gone.

**********

Edge watched as his parents stood over the youngest son's grave and said their final goodbyes. They were crying in each other's arms. He knew people weren't sure if he was going to come to Christian's funeral. They were watching and waiting to see what he would do. Old friends and family had come and said a few words to him, but the people who cared had stared away.

The Hardys and Lita were standing back in the crowd. He and Christian had been friends with them once and Matt had been close to Christian. They hadn't come up and spoken to Edge, just stayed in the background. Lance Storm and Test had done the same, in almost the opposite direction.

But for all the people avoiding him, Edge wanted someone to come and talk to him. To tell him everything would be okay. That he wasn't completely insane for waiting to see his dead brother again.

Then Torrie Wilson came and stood next to him.

"Hi, Edge." She looked up at him, blonde hair shining in the unseasonally hot and clear weather. "I know we haven't spoken in a while, but I…uh…I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you ever want to talk."

Edge looked at her in shock. He and Torrie hadn't spoken since the whole Tajiri debacle, when he'd found her crying after a show one night. They'd talked and Torrie had told him she was going to leave Tajiri. They had talked and had fun that night but things had gotten crazy since then, Edge had focused on other problems and Torrie had started hanging out with Maven. Apparently that had ended when she found him with a ring rat.

And now she was here, talking to Edge when he needed some one to talk to.

"Thankyou." Edge sighed. "It's like it's not real, you know. How can Christian be…be dead?"

Torrie took his hand and stood closer to him. "I don't know. I don't know why people hurt each other or why people die in tragic ways." She looked up at Edge. "But I'm sure he knew you loved him."

Edge smiled slightly. "I'll tell him again, just in case." Edge realised his parents were leaving and people were drifting away. He stood there with Torrie until they were the only two left.

"What are you going to do now?" Torrie held his hand tightly.

Edge looked at Christian's grave. "I'm going to say good-bye." He let Torrie's hand go, watched her walk inside the church building and walked over to stand before the grave.

"I don't know what to say, Chris." Edge ran a hand through his hair. "Did I imagine it, or is there some freaky beyond the grave stuff happening here? When am I getting my last visit?"

"So...you and Torrie, huh?"

Edge spun around and saw Christian standing behind him. He was wearing a pair of old baggy jeans and a hockey jersey, in sharp contrast to the formal suit their parents insisted he be buried in.

Christian walked over to sit on his own headstone. "This is a bit freaky, isn't it?"

"You sitting on your own headstone? Maybe a bit." Edge snorted, before feeling the guilt come over him again. He hung his head before speaking. "Angle thinks I'm evil personified because I wasn't crying at your service."

"Kurt Angle…champion of thirty year old virgins around the world." Christian laughed. "Who cares what he thinks?"

Edge bit his lip. "Maybe he was right. I couldn't even get up and say anything at your service. Mom would've been angry if she wasn't busy crying rivers."

"Don't ever mourn me, Edge. I'm not gone." Christian came and stood next to him and they both stared down at his gravestone. "I've just gone ahead, and you'll see me again."

"I know." Edge swallowed. "But it still sucks. How come you had to die for us to start talking again?"

"Who am I to question?" Christian mused before swearing. "I don't know, bro, but it annoys the fuck out of me too. But we get more than most people get."

"Yeah? What's that?" Edge muttered bitterly.

"A chance to say good-bye."

Edge stared at Christian. "What if I don't want to? Couldn't you hang around for awhile?"

"And do what?" Christian snorted. "Pick up ghost chicks? Watch while you pretend to keep living? Sorry, man, but no thanks."

"Only for a little while." Edge persisted. "A few more days."

Christian stared keenly towards Edge. 'How do you know you aren't crazy? How do you know I'm really here? I might just be a figment of your imagination and you're going to get thrown in a loony bin."

Edge was silent for a while before finally speaking. "I know. I don't know how, but I know it's you."

"Yeah?" Christian hopped off his headstone and stood in front of it. "Then don't ask me to haunt you like that. Just let me go and move on. That's all you can do."

"I just want my brother back." Edge whispered and looked at his hands. "I miss you."

Christian sighed. "You don't get it yet, Edge. One day you'll understand. I'm not leaving, I'm not disappearing forever. You'll see me again one day."

Edge felt his eyes sting and blinked rapidly to keep himself from crying. A sudden wind blew through the cemetery and swept Edge's hair over his face, blinding his vision.

"I'll see you soon, Edge."

Edge scraped his hair off his face and looked for Christian, spinning around and hoping his brother would be behind him. But he wasn't. He was gone and he wasn't coming back this time. Edge felt all the tears he couldn't cry before reach his eyes.

He knelt down and wept over his brother's grave.

Before long, Edge could almost hear Christian laughing in the back of his mind. He wiped his face and stood slowly, feeling the weight and guilt lift from his mind. And he knew that this wasn't what Christian wanted.

"One day, Chris, one day I'll see you again." Edge raised his eyes from the gravestone engraved with Christian's name and stared into the clear sky. He felt a light breeze pulling and tugging on his hair. Smiling ruefully, Edge turned away from his brother's grave and saw Torrie waiting by his car. Casting a last glance over his shoulder, he grinned. "I'll see you round, bro."

Then he walked towards his car and the future without looking back again.

*********

I'm sorry for my very long absence. My computer had a tantrum and refused to work for the better part of a month and when I got back on-line, my muses went on strike. This is the first thing I've written in a while and hopefully just what I need to get back on track with my other stories. I hope you like it.