Well I have been trying to make a long story but have I have found that I usually end up getting straight to the point. I know I have a good imagination but I can't put it down on paper (or type it in this case). I am used to doing reports and am unable to break from that habit. So to go with what I am used to this story is just going to be police reports that are either not connected at all or loosely connected and if anyone wants to write a scene based off of my reports just PM me and I will put it under my report and credit you for it or list it so others can read it. For your information I do not do slash at all and most of these are humor and may be a bit morbid.
For some reason my spell checker is marking all words as spelled wrong so I might miss spell a lot of words.
I do not own Harry Potter
Burn Baby Burn
Responding Auror: Kingsley Shacklebolt
Crime: Destruction Of private property, Arson, Assault
Suspects: Harry Potter
At 0305, I responded to a report that Malfoy Manor was on fire and that the owners were still inside the residence. I arrived on-scene at 0700 by aparation and found a badly burnt and beaten Lucius Malfoy and Draco Malfoy and a limping Narcissa Malfoy. I immediately went to Mrs. Malfoy to ensure she was not in need of medical assistance to which she declined. Upon questioning Mrs. Malfoy I was told that at 0200 she was soundly asleep until she heard sounds of screaming and the smell of smoke from down stairs and that she decided to leave the house and contact authorities from her good friend Junior Auror Harry Potters house. I was unable to determine what caused the 1 hour delay between heading to her going to Harry Potter's house and the delay as all she would do when asked is smile.
At 0815 I interrogated Draco and Lucius Malfoy about the events in question and was informed that at 0100 they saw someone looking a lot like Harry Potter sneaking into their house with a can that looked like gas and a crowbar. They then saw the person speaking to Narcissa Malfoy before he started pouring the fuel throughout the first floor of the manor. Mr Malfoy went to confront the man about the intrusion when he was promptly stunned along with his son. Both malfoys were shortly awoken and viciously assaulted by the individual until about 0200 in which the individual set the building on fire. Mr Malfoy then asked if the subject thought he could get away with this when the person claimed that he could because "I'm Harry Potter Bitch". After claiming to be Harry Potter he left both male Malfoys for dead.
At 0900 I called for a medi-wizard for Draco and Lucius Malfoy due to Draco slipping in and out of consciousness during the interrogation.
At 0915 I apparated to Mr. Potter's house to question him about the incident. He informed me that at 0100 he was too busy comforting his good Friend, Narcissa Malfoy, to have committed the crime and that he could not of done it anyway as his gas can is empty.
After questioning all involved in the incident I have determined that Harry Potter was not involved and that it was just a case of mistaken identity. And have issued a BOLO for a male with black hair, green eyes with round glasses that is not Harry Potter.
AN: Just to be sure you get the less obvious humor in this is that you should pay attention to the times as apparition is instant and that the medi-wizards were not called first.