A/N: This was originally something I just wrote for fun. I thought it would also work for AU!Brittana. Enjoy!
It wasn't the first time that the two of you had hung out alone together. It wasn't the first time that you'd kissed her cherry stained lips. It wasn't the first time you realized you were in love with her either. Oh no, that came later. That came on an uncharacteristically cold Wednesday in March. You remember thinking that it was so cold because you were so heartbroken. The pain you felt that day shook you to your core; it rattled your bones. And you had no idea how to deal with it. You had never felt anything like it before. And though nothing was inherently bad about being in love with her, you still felt like it was the end of things.
It was.
But that wasn't that day. That day was the day you realized you could spend a lot of time with this girl. You realized you could spend eternity with her and not be bored for a single second. You realized that you wanted to do more than pull her into the bathroom at parties for a quick smooch. You wanted her to be more than the girl who rubbed you over your spankies on the way home from cheerleading practice. You wanted her to be the girl who smiled at you for no reason at all as she played with your fingers as you drove. You wanted to be the girl who brushed her light blonde hair out as she leaned against you in bed. There would be total silence for those 5 minutes and then you'd pull the covers over your bodies before placing a delicate goodnight kiss on her forehead.
You wanted those things.
You pretended you didn't want those things most of the time.
You got those things.
And then you lost them.
But on that day, everything was perfect. She called you early in the morning and asked you to come over. Wear a bathing suit, she said. She was already dressed and ready to go when you arrived. You sat down on her bed and watched her try to fit everything in her bright red beach bag. When she was done, she looked up and stared at you for a few moments. You felt perfectly at peace and you could tell she did too.
She lowered her eyes to the bedspread before she looked back up into your eyes and began to speak. Can we go to the beach today? Though she was old enough, she didn't have her driver's license yet, so all of your plans depended on your own desire to carry them out. But you always said yes to her. You always wanted to do what she wanted to do.
Or maybe you just always wanted her to be happy.
She played with your fingers as you drove to the beach in silence. The only sounds were the light hum of the engine and the distant crashing of the waves.
When you reached the beach, you found a quiet spot near the water. You were taking out the large pink and white striped beach towel that the two of you always laid out on when you realized that she was already sitting in the sand, too focused on it to look up at you. She was gathering the sand by the handful and watching it fall back to the ground as she sifted it through her fingers. You watched her do this over and over again.
It wasn't until a few minutes later that she looked up, her left eye closed as protection against the bright sun, and a slight smile on her lips. Aren't you going to sit? You didn't reply. You just gave her the same smile that she was giving you before lowering yourself to the ground. You always liked the feeling of sitting in sand. It was lumpy, but soft and welcoming. You could never work your head around how it could be all three of those things at once. You brought your knees up to your chest and looked out into the ocean.
She had always loved the beach; you knew that. But she was a planner. Despite the fact that you lived no more than 30 minutes from the beach, beach days usually involved at least three more people and cute Evites. But that hadn't been the case today. You were curious, so you asked her. Why did you want to come to the beach today? She didn't answer right away. She glanced at you briefly before she began playing with a small caramel colored sea shell by her toes. You were considering asking the question again when she'd finally spoke. I just wanted to play with the sea shells, she said. They sing to you, you know. She looked up at you again. You didn't know how to reply so you just looked back at her, a soft smile on your lips and your eyes never leaving hers for a second.
She leaned over you and pressed the shell to your ear, her eyes darting around your face as you took in the music. After a couple of minutes she let her hand drop to the sand beside your waist. That was a special song just for you, she said. Did you like it? You smiled a silly, embarrassingly smitten smile before shyly nodding. She smiled back at you, but with more confidence. Let's go home, she'd said. You were surprised that she had wanted to leave already, but you got up and gathered your things for the walk back to your car.
You held hands the whole way.
When you got back to her house, she climbed right into bed. You know how tired the sun makes me. You crawled in after her, snuggling into her side. The next thing you knew, it was 6pm. Shoot, I have to go, you said. My mom will kill me if I'm not home for dinner. She huffed and pouted, but gave you a long kiss on the corner of your mouth to let you know that she understood.
As you were gathering your things she was fumbling through her beach bag on the other side of the room. She took something out—you couldn't see what—and held her hands together behind her back as she walked over to you.
I want you to have this, she said as she presented you with the same sea shell she had made you listen to at the beach. So you can always have a special song to listen to whenever you need it. You smiled and gave her a kiss goodbye before you made your way to your car, the same smile still playing on your lips.
Yes, that was the day you realized.