Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or any of the charactes

There was one day a year that she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could like James T. Kirk.

It was late, her brain was practically melting from all the information she had just crammed into it, and she really wanted sleep. And then she saw Kirk stumbling towards the library as she was exiting and she knew, she just knew that she wasn't going to be able to avoid him. She could practically smell the alcohol on him before he was even within feet of her and from his disheveled clothes and staggering gait it was painfully obvious what he had been doing. As he reached the steps he grinned when he saw her standing there. "Hey there," he slurred. "I'm just going to go study now so if you'll excuse me…" he tried to make it past her but tripped up the steps. There was snickering from behind and she turned to find a group of fellow recruits hanging out under the lights.

"Kirk you can't be serious. It's almost three in the morning and more importantly, can you even comprehend anything right now? Because it really doesn't seem like it."

He pushed himself up and staggered back into the granite wall. "Told Bones I'd meet him here."

Knowing that she couldn't let him step foot in the library because he'd end up causing some huge debacle, she pushed him down to sit on the steps. "I'll go tell Bones that you can't make it, okay? Stay here."

She rolled her eyes. Of course she would be the one to deal with this mess. But she couldn't let him wander into the library and while she was tempted to send him off she was sort of afraid that he'd end up getting himself killed…and as nice as that prospect sounded she didn't want that on her conscience.

"McKoy?" she approached a corner table and the doctor turned.

"Uhura? Let me guess, Jim isn't coming." Bones looked slightly put off but not in the least bit surprised.

"Oh he did come, but right now he's outside completely wasted."

Bones groaned, "Damnit, you want me to handle it?"

It was tempting; besides, Bones was the only one who Kirk would actually listen to...not that he would always take the advice but at least he'd consider it. "No I've got it, besides I was just heading back anyways." It was just her luck.

She found him slumped over on the steps in the spot that she had left him but she had absolutely no sympathy. "Get up, it's not like I'm going to carry you back." She expected a smart ass reply but instead he complied.

"I'm coming." He slung an arm around her neck, "I know you would love the opportunity to have me in your arms though."

And there it was.

She shoved him off and he lost his balance. Oops.

"Shit!" he exclaimed as he landed on his back.

"Oh for God's sake come on," she reached down to help him to his feet but he pulled her down beside her.

She could kill him. The grass was damp from an earlier drizzle and her ass was freezing.

"Pretty isn't it," he murmured.

Looking out towards the lake she couldn't deny it, the fountain in the middle caught the starlight and she leaned back to admire the view. "Yeah, yeah it is." Since he was being slightly more coherent she took the opportunity to comment, "So you thought it would be a good idea to get shitfaced the night before an exam when you were supposed to be studying? Sometimes I wonder how your mind works, Kirk."

He shrugged. "Tomorrow's my birthday…well today."

Snorting she turned to him, "I get it; your ego is so big you needed two days to celebrate."

Silence wasn't something she was used to when it came to Kirk but that's what she got. Finally he shook his head. "This is how my mom always celebrated. Drank all night and was passed out the next day…she couldn't just look at it as my birthday, you know? I was born, my dad died."

Shit, she had forgotten. Well not really forgotten, everyone knew about Kirk's dad…she hadn't forgotten, she just hadn't really connected it. And suddenly things were starting to make sense. "I'm sure she loved you." What else was she supposed to say? But Kirk was looking at her like she'd lost her mind.

"I never said my mom didn't love me." He sighed, "Every birthday and she would say that I was starting to look more and more like him. Every year I got older was one more year he was gone."

It was wrong. He shouldn't have to look at it that way, shouldn't have had to measure his life like that. "I…I'm sorry." She looked at him, really looked at him. For the first time it was like she was seeing him without the badass, didn't give a damn, attitude. He had one leg drawn up into his chest with his arms wrapped around it and his chin resting on his forearm. His eyes said he was hurting. And so against her better judgment she did something that she never thought she would, she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry Kirk, I'm really sorry."

They never mentioned it again.

Hope you enjoyed it!