AN: hello! This is pretty angsty...I'm sorry! I also wrote it before the last episode and was too lazy to shuffle things around in regards to Astra. I'm aiming for 3 chapters but it could only end up being 2.

Alex barely had time to throw her car in park before Director Henshaw appeared at the entrance of the DEO, his arms crossed and usual grim facial expression in tact. She slowly pulled herself out of the car and suppressed the yawn rising in her throat. Overnights at the DEO were torture.

"Agent Danvers," Hank greeted robotically, tilting his head forward a bit. "We have a problem."

Alex laughed tiredly. "We always have a problem, sir." She glanced at her watch and realized she was three minutes late. Immediately, she cleared her throat and trailed behind her boss a few paces. "If this has anything to do with me being three…only three minutes late, I can explain."

She tried to keep her thoughts straight, suddenly remembering J'onn could read minds. He certainly did not need to know she was late because of the Housewives marathon she had been watching for the past four hours. Who needed sleep when she could watch middle-aged rich women fight? It made her feel like her life was normal. Sort of.

"It's your sister."

Alex stopped short in confusion. "I just talked to her a few hours ago. She was fine. It, it was her office game night or whatever they do that I'm not invited to. But it's whatever. Who has a game night anyway?"

"Well, unless her office game night is located in the special room you made for her, she's lying," Hank replied dryly, ignoring the slight bitterness in Alex's tone. He cleared his throat to get her back on track.

"Kara doesn't lie to me," Alex protested softly. "She knows better."

Hank crossed his arms in authority. "And you think I'm lying to you, Alex?"

"No!" Alex was quick to blurt out. "Of course not, sir. I just…"

"I understand." Hank laid a comforting hand on Alex's forearm and motioned for her to follow. "She's been in there for almost an hour. We can't get in since you made it so the door only opens for her."

"And me," Alex corrected softly. She couldn't help but smile triumphantly when she placed her hand over the screen and pressed a few buttons. "Security override. I did it in case this ever happened."

"She's completely drained herself. Go easy on her."

Alex fiddled with a few more buttons and sighed when the door flung open. She nodded graciously towards Henshaw before taking small, quiet steps into the room. Alura's hologram was sporadically flickering, the box that controlled it barely hanging on by a few wires. It was clear Kara attempted to destroy it.

Despite Kara's best efforts to conceal herself with the cape, Alex found her almost immediately. The older girl took a deep breath and gently walked over, making sure her combat boots did not scuff against the floor. She couldn't disturb Kara. She was in a fragile state. Any sudden move would set her off. Alex had only seen her sister like this a few times; mostly when they were younger and Kara was still adjusting to earth. She remembered how closed off Kara was, how lifeless she was.

She couldn't take that happening again.

"Kara?" Alex's voice was barely a whisper. She did not want to speak too loud for fear it would upset her sister.

Kara didn't react. She hugged her knees tighter and continued to stare at the floor.

Alex eased herself down on the floor and locked her hands together to stop herself from reaching out to touch her sister. "Kara, hey. What are you doing?"

Nothing. Alex was talking to a wall. She got up and shut Alura's hologram off, wincing when it elicited a sizzling noise. That was it. Alex knew it was annihilated. Kara's one last connection to her mother was gone. It would take another year or so to make it work again.

Kara looked up and suddenly acknowledged her sister's presence. Her throat was dry and scratchy. She couldn't clear it. It felt like she had swallowed broken glass. "What, what are you doing?" Her eyes darted around the room frantically. "How'd you get in here?"

Alex sighed and crossed her arms. Kara sounded so lost. Her voice was hoarse and almost gone. "I wrote the security code," she laughed sadly. "You don't think I can override it?"

"I just want to be alone," Kara confessed tiredly. She rested her forehead on her knees and tried hiding under her cape again. When Alex sat down next to her, she shut her eyes. "P-please go away."

Alex fought the urge to wrap Kara in her arms and never let go. But she couldn't. Not yet at least. She had to wait until her sister was in the right frame her mind. Right now, any touch or sudden movement would break her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alex asked after ten minutes of silence. Kara still hadn't moved or made a single sound.

"No." Kara sucked in a breath and stretched out her left leg.

"Okay," Alex answered, trying her best to understand why Kara was shutting her out like this. It was like her sister regressed eleven years.

"Alex, please," Kara's voice cracked. She finally made eye contact with her sister and turned away when Alex's mouth turned into a frown. Her eyes were probably bright red, all dry and blotchy. "Leave me alone."

"I know you've got a lot going on but shutting me out isn't going to help," Alex whispered, taking the chance to grab Kara's hand. She winced when Kara recoiled and tucked her hands under the cape. "Kara, please."

Kara heard the desperation in Alex's voice and felt the oncoming tears sting her already cried out eyes. "You wouldn't understand. No one understands."

Alex leaned her head back on the wall and fiddled with the empty gun holster attached to her right thigh. "Try me."

Kara sunk her top two teeth into the bottom of her lip to stop it from quivering. Her emotions were going haywire. Nothing was helping. She didn't want Alex to witness yet another one of her breakdowns. This was going to be a big one and she was sure her sister would ban her from going to work and fulfilling her Supergirl duties for at least two or three weeks.

"Everything is just…falling apart," Kara finally confessed, her voice so heartbreakingly small, that tears began to pool in Alex's eyes.

Alex didn't dare to press further. Instead, she slowly slid her hand across the floor and placed it over her sister's. This time, Kara didn't pull away. She held on for dear life. They sat in silence until Kara found the strength to continue.

"It's like my whole life was a lie," Kara pushed on dismally. "Everything about my mother is ruined. Every memory I have is tainted."

"You're letting Astra get in your head," Alex said, scooting over so there was barely any space between her and Kara. "Don't let her take away what you've always known. She could be lying."

Kara frantically shook her head. "No. No. Astra's not like that. She l-loved me."

"How do you know?"

"How do you know?" Kara couldn't keep it together anymore. She ripped her hand free and stood up, glaring down at her sister and feeling the anger bubble inside her. Alex looked terrified. "You don't know what it was like, Alex. You don't!"

Alex held her hands up in defense and stood up. "You're right, I don't."

"So stop, stop telling me Astra's getting in my head." Kara repeatedly banged the side of her head and yelped at the sudden pain.

"You drained your powers, Kara," Alex whispered sympathetically. "And it's only going to get worse if you don't calm down."

"Don't," Kara snapped harshly. She began pacing all around the room, holding her hands up in a defensive position as if she and Alex were going to spar. "Don't tell me how to feel. I'm sick of everyone telling me how to feel."

Alex felt her heart constrict. Kara was quite literally falling apart right in front of her eyes and nothing was going to help. She anticipated her little sister having a breakdown sometime soon but it wasn't supposed to be this sudden. She was supposed to be ahead of it so Kara wouldn't get this fragile. Ever since Astra had been contained, Kara was off. Deep down, Alex was afraid somehow Kara would side with her blood and turn on her. She was scared Astra was going to take her little sister, the one she raised in the formative years of her life, away.

Astra used to be one of the most important people in Kara's life. She was someone Kara admired greatly and used to tell dozens of stories of the adventures they had together. Alex was always internally jealous; her one and only aunt was a bitter woman who constantly belittled her because of the interest she had in science. With Astra back in the picture, Alex felt like she needed to be on her game, like she needed to vie to be the most important person in Kara's life again.

"You're right," Alex conceded. "I'm sorry."

Kara exhaled angrily and gently kicked the wall with her boots. "I wish my parents never sent me here," she confessed. "I wish I died along with the others on Krypton."

"No. You don't mean that." Alex's voice shook.

"I'm never going to be normal, Alex!" Kara screamed in frustration. She pulled at her hair and looked up at the ceiling. "Things are never going to slow down. It's like my mind is always racing and I feel like I'm being pulled in sixteen different directions. I can't do anything right at work, Hank is always doubting me, and you, you…"

Alex was afraid to hear the rest. She heard Kara mumbling in what she suspected was Kryptonese. "You just need a break, Kara. Let me take you home."

"No," Kara protested. "No."

"You can't stay in here all night," Alex said matter-of-factly. She watched Kara continue to circle the room in utter despair and agony.

Kara stopped; suddenly realizing her mother's hologram was gone. "What did you do? Why did you…why is my mother gone?" She rushed over to the controls and banged them frantically. "Alex, fix it! Fix this now!"

"I, I can't."

"Yes, you can!" Kara screeched. She began hitting the already broken tablet, pushing every button that wasn't warped on the screen. "You always fix things, Alex. You have to fix it!"

Alex grabbed Kara by the waist and yanked her away. "Kara, stop. It's broken."

"It can't be broken," Kara whimpered, struggling to break free. She writhed and wriggled in her sister's arms. Alex was a hell of a lot stronger than she gave her credit for. "Alex, please. Fix it."

Kara was getting weaker and weaker. She squinted her eyes and let out a sob when her heat vision didn't work. She tried again and again. "I need to ask her one more thing. I need my mom, Alex." She wrangled herself free and smacked the tablet as hard as she could. The pain immediately shot through her hand. "Mom! Mommy!"

Alex wiped her eyes, desperate to keep her emotions in check. Her mother conditioned her to never let Kara see her upset. To stay strong and make sure Kara was well taken care of. "Kara, it's broken, okay? I'd have to, I'd have to re-write the coding and that could take weeks. Months even."

"No!" Kara whimpered. "No. You're lying! Please, Alex. Bring her back." She knocked the tablet off the wall and stomped on it until it became unrecognizable. "You have to try! You have to try. I need to ask her…I need…" She was gasping for breath, feeling like the walls were closing in on her. "I got so angry…she just kept, kept telling me she wasn't programmed to answer that and…"

Alex caught Kara just as she was about to fall to the ground. She eased them both down and held her sister so tightly, she was afraid Kara couldn't breathe properly.

"I'm sorry," was all Alex could say. It wasn't going to help anything, especially since Kara was still resisting her comfort. But she refused to let go. Kara being powerless made it a lot easier to hold her in place. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Kara eventually stopped fighting and laid in a heap across Alex's lap, closing her eyes as Alex's hands gently threaded through her hair. She was angry, frustrated, scared, and lost. So lost. No one understood what she was going through, not even her cousin. Kal El had no memories of Krypton. Kara had several. Several memories that included the sounds and images of her home planet combusting seconds after her pod took off.

Alex closed her eyes as well as Kara's tears dripped onto her black pants, every painful sob making her sister's body shake. Alex had never felt this helpless before.

"I just want to remember something nice about her," Kara finally spoke nearly a half an hour later. She remained hugging Alex's legs. "Because sometimes, I can't remember anything at all. I can't remember her eye color or what she smelled like. It's a smell that's not on earth. I just have a memory of being told she was a good woman. Now? I'm not so sure."

"I'm sure your mother was a good woman," Alex promised softly. She rubbed Kara's back soothingly. "Otherwise, how did you turn out so well?" She was hoping to get a smile out of Kara, maybe even a frown. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Kara sat up with a groan and rubbed her exhausted face. She felt cold, anxious. Weak. How did humans endure this type of pain on a daily basis?

"Easy," Alex instructed when Kara tried to stand. She steadied her sister when she began to wobble, clearly uneasy on her feet. "We should get you under the sun lamps."

"No," Kara said darkly. Her voice was devoid of any emotion and Alex was scared.

"What?"

"I…said no," Kara repeated slowly. "Don't. I don't want you to fix me."

"Kara-"

Kara threw her hands up in the air. "Alex, stop. Stop fussing over me!" she told her sister dejectedly. The pain was evident in Alex's eyes. "Just leave me alone."

"You need to rest, Kara. You're burning yourself out and it's not good." Alex sighed when Kara sank back down to the floor and retreated back to her previous position.

Kara wasn't going to respond, Alex knew that. It was how she operated. Once everything was on the table, Kara shut herself off and refused to speak. Alex would eventually grow tried of needling her and let it go.

Alex, however, had a different plan. This was something they couldn't sweep under the rug. She knelt down in front of her sister and took her hands. "Kara, come on. I'll take you home, okay? We can make some tea and even order pot stickers."

Kara kept her gaze trained on the wall across the room. She refused to break again and ignored Alex's fingers grazing over her knuckles.

"Don't make me carry you out of this room," Alex threatened in her big sister voice. When Kara still didn't react, Alex groaned. "Fine. It's going to be a lot more embarrassing for you than for me."

She gave Kara one minute to move but when she didn't, Alex pulled her up almost effortlessly and threw her sister over her shoulder. She expected Kara to start screaming and flailing. She did not expect Kara's legs to lock tightly around her waist and her arms to hold on to her neck for dear life.

The bright, halogen lights stung Kara's eyes once they exited the blue tinted room. She threw her cape over her head in utter embarrassment. She must have looked so pathetic, so childish as she buried her face in the crook of Alex's neck, breathing in her scent and finding comfort in the slight vanilla smell. That's what Alex always smelled like. Eliza smelled like lavender. Jeremiah…Kara racked her brain and nearly started sobbing again when she couldn't remember. It was musty. That's all she could remember.

Alex did her best to ignore the sensation of Kara's tears dribbling down her neck, searching through the crowd of nosy DEO agents for Hank She breathed a sigh of relief when he seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"We've got a room ready," Hank said quietly.

"Okay," Alex whispered, wincing when she felt Kara's grip tighten. Her sister's fingers were digging into her neatly pressed black polo, trying so hard to keep a firm grip on the starch fabric. She looked at Agent Carson and Agent Willis knowingly. They were going to take Kara away in seconds. There was no way Henshaw would allow her to transfer Kara to the recovery room. She'd most likely have to be sedated and that was something Alex did not want to do. Or witness.

"Alex," Hank said pointedly, his eyes traveling down to Kara's trembling body.

Alex preferred Agent Carson to Willis and tried to loosen Kara's grip so her sister wouldn't be completely ripped away from her. In one swift motion, Agent Carson pulled Kara away by her waist and Alex saw the fear in her sister's eyes.

Kara took a few seconds to react. When she realized what was happening, she tried wriggling free out of the strange agent's strong grip, her arms stretching as far as they could go toward her sister. "Alex!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as she was being carted away. "ALEX!"

"You're going to have to sedate her," Alex told Agent Willis stiffly. "But don't completely knock her out. Understand?"

Agent Willis nodded and rushed off, leaving Alex and Hank alone.

"Alex-"

"I'm fine," Alex lied, sucking in a deep breath. She couldn't break down at work. No. She was not going to break down at all. This is where she had to separate herself from Alex the DEO agent, and Kara Danvers' big sister. Right now, she was the DEO agent. She had to be professional. "What do you need me to do?"

"Go home," Hank replied. His tone left little room for Alex to protest. "You're not in the right place to be at work. Go. Get some rest."

"I can't leave her," Alex, however, did protest. "She had a breakdown, sir. Astra got in her head, the pressure…everything. It broke her. There's no way I'm leaving her here."

Hank knew arguing was fruitless. He sighed and laid a comforting hand on Alex's shoulder. Her eyes were swimming with tears that desperately wanted to be set free. But that's not how Alex worked. She wasn't a crier. She viewed it as a sign of weakness.

"It's okay to be upset," he told her softly.

Alex shook her head and dug her boots into the floor. "I'm fine, sir." She reached in her back pocket and took out her cell phone. "I'm going to call my mother. Kara needs her." Then, after a pause, she softly admitted, "I need her, too."

Hank smiled, knowing how hard it must have been for Alex to admit she couldn't deal with Kara on her own. "You do that, Agent Danvers. I'll check on your sister."

Alex broke down on the phone with her mother. She couldn't hold it together as she locked herself in an empty utility closet and recounted Kara's breakdown. Eliza promised it wasn't her fault. It was the stress of the job. Alex could tell by her mother's tone that she was probably going to point out that's why she didn't want Kara to revel in her true identity. Alex was waiting for the lecture, for the disappointment to railroad her. But when Eliza revealed she was going to catch the first plane out to National City, Alex nearly collapsed in relief.

She gave herself ample time to get her emotions in check. Driving to Kara's apartment from the DEO base only took seven minutes but Alex took her time to make sure she grabbed Kara's favorite pair of pajamas and anything else that could bring her comfort since she obviously couldn't. She also grabbed the fuzzy blue polka dot blanket Eliza had given Kara on her first night on earth. It still faintly smelled like the old Danvers home. After Kara moved to National City, Eliza sold their childhood home and bought a condo on the beach. She claimed one person did not need four bedrooms.

It tore Kara up more than it did Alex.

Alex stuffed everything in a flimsy shopping bag and slipped out of Kara's apartment, avoiding eye contact with her sister's old nosy neighbor, Mrs. Benson.

The drive back to the DEO was quick. Alex made sure to blast the radio as loud as her ears could take so she wasn't festering in her thoughts.

Hank was waiting for her at the entrance again.

"I'm having déjà vu, sir," she laughed dryly, clutching the bag in her hands in case Hank had any objections. "How's Kara?"

"I think it's best you stay away," Hank said. He turned away when Alex's face immediately fell. "Your sister bit Agent Carson and broke through the skin. She had to be heavily sedated and restrained."

Alex felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "She's, she's hurting. You don't need to restrain her. She doesn't even have her powers!"

"She's still angry, Alex," Hank's voice rose. "I refuse to let you see her like that. Go home. Rest. I'll call you in the morning."

"Sir, with all due respect-"

"I said go home, Alex. That's an order."

Alex never defied her boss but there was no way in hell she was going to go home and sleep peacefully knowing her baby sister was restrained on an uncomfortable bed. "She's going to wake up petrified."

Hank closed his eyes at the break in Alex's voice. "I will take care of her. Do you trust me?"

"Y-yes, but-"

"But nothing, Alex. Go home. I'll bring her to you in a few hours when the sedative wears off."

Alex had felt defeated. She was beyond exhausted and tired of trying to be strong. She let the tears slip down her cheeks and was hesitant to look up at her boss for fear she'd be perceived as feeble. "Tell her I love her, o-okay?"

Hank nodded and helped Alex into her car. "Rest, Alex. You're going to need it." He wiped a lone tear from Alex's eye and sighed. "It's the calm before the storm."