Disclaimer: I don't think you can actually own paper itself…

Twenty Three Notes in the Oak Tree

(.x.)

"Man, she can be a gank."

"You have no idea."

It was when Cat was sitting on Jade's bed, absentmindedly playing with Mr. Long Neck after a rather eventful day at Karaoke Dokie when Cat had remembered. "Jade, Beck and Andre called you a gank."

"Did they now…" The brunette had responded but she wasn't really listening. She was trying to straighten her butterfly collection upon her wall but the frame kept tilting to one side. "That's not straight either."

"Don't you care?" Cat's eyebrows furrowed as she eyed her (best) friend who was now muttering to herself. She was surprised when Beck had agreed but decided to bite her tongue and turn her head the other way instead, pretending their words didn't mean anything. Andre, Cat knew, was just kidding. Well, she hoped he was. But Beck; Beck was Jade's boyfriend and he should've defended her. Hell, someone should have defended her.

"Should I?" Jade's back was to Cat so she couldn't see the girl's downcast eyes.

"Jade," It was the tone of voice that grabbed her attention. The soft, shy manner in which Cat spoke her name. Her eyes were laced with guilt and Cat wouldn't stop playing with Mr. Long Neck's nose. "I'm sorry I didn't defend you. You're not a gank."

Jade let out a crude laugh and the smaller girl winced, "Cat, I don't need anyone to defend me, least of all you." There was a sharp intake of breath and Jade cringed at her choice of words, "I mean you're really the one who needs protecting. I can handle myself."

"I know, it's just that…"

"What?"

"Beck is your boyfriend, he should have defended you." Cat tossed Mr. Long Neck aside and scrambled to her feet. She raised her hand to rest it gently on Jade's shoulder (because Cat never did anything roughly- that was Jade). She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "I've wanted to say it for a while now…"

"What? That I'm a gank? Cat it's ok-"

"No it's not, Jade and that's not what I was going to say anyway!" Jade would have rolled her eyes if she hadn't noticed how uncomfortable Cat was. She sifted her weight from one foot to the next and for a moment, Jade thought she had lost Cat inside of Cat-Land, but a sudden flash of anger in the redhead's eyes made Jade keep her mouth shut. It wasn't that Cat didn't like Beck, he was one of her first friends at Hollywood Arts, but when it came down to it; Beck was a horrible boyfriend. He was always breaking Jade into little pieces (when he pretended not to care about things likes their special lunch dates), and as Jade's best friend, Cat owed it to her to speak out. "You shouldn't be 'okay' with people call you a gank, because you're not."

"I'm not?" She was almost amused.

"No, you just act like one. There's a difference, Jade."

Cat was pulling her hand away, she was shrinking away; Jade could see it. She was going to run. "Cat, just spit it out, you already got this far. What do you really want to say?"

"I don't think Beck is a very good boyfriend."

(Beck will always kind of hate you for this, Cat.)

1.

"Seriously Jade? Are we having this fight again?"

"Looks like we are."

"Tori got the lead, there's nothing I could do about it."

"Whenever you and Tori do a scene together, you always lead her on!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

It was lunch. Monday. Nothing specific about the date. Ask Beck what is now, and he won't remember. He doesn't lead Tori on. He can't help it if Tori has feelings for him. It wasn't his fault. Well, maybe it was. He wanted to feel wanted. He sort of liked riling her up; he liked seeing her emotions explode. It made him feel…important.

"I didn't get jealous when you had that scene with Ryder Daniels, did I?"

Beck never gets jealous when you have romantic scenes with other boys, does he Jade? Cat's voice managed to find itself in her head again. She wasn't right of course; Beck was just chill like that. That was just who he was. Beck never got angry or upset; he let Jade do that. Sometimes too much…

"Can't you just trust me? Why is that so hard?" They were sitting in the Asphalt Café waiting on the rest of their friends to arrive (well Beck was); Jade was glaring daggers at the brave souls who allowed their gazes to travel to their table.

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"If there's no trust, there's no relationship, Jade." Beck spoke smoothly, but his heart raced and he forced himself to act as nonchalant as he could. This was what they did. They argued and he pretended not to care, because really, she got angry for the both of them. The stone silence made him re-think his decision to be indifferent. It wasn't too late to-

"Well okay, Beck." Tori, Cat, Andre, Robbie and Rex had all taken a seat, oblivious to the tension at the table. Tori was uncharacteristically quiet; she was waiting for Jade to have another one of her violent outbursts again. Andre and Cat were silenced when Jade stood up abruptly while Robbie looked up from his burrito. "If that's what you want. We're over." She spoke softly; she wasn't yelling like the last time. Instead she had gathered her things and casually sauntered away, throwing away her lunch into the nearest garbage can in the process.

Cat lost no time scrambling after Jade. He kept his eyes trained on his girlfriend (because this was just another one of those mini-break ups they had); she wasn't stomping away or ripping people's eyes out. She seemed to be perambulating. That was it. Beck swallowed the four cotton balls he had stuck in his throat (one for every mini-break up). He knew they would always get back together but this pretending; this façade he used to make "Robot Beck" care less always slipped (he never said he knew what to do with all these emotions). Surprisingly, Andre was always the one who noticed.

"You're just going to let her go?" Tori finally spoke up. She was pissed, well maybe just frustrated. She had worked really hard to get them back together last time. Jade had worked pretty hard to get them back together too; and for what? For Beck to just sit down and watch Jade walk away? She frowned at his apathy and left her tray on the table. She didn't know where Cat and Jade went but she wanted to at least try. Tori liked to fix things. There really wasn't anything she couldn't repair.

"Beck, dude…" Andre spoke up, "aren't you gonna-"

"Nah. She'll come back. Jade always comes back." Robbie spluttered on his Petty Cola and Andre shot him a weird look but didn't comment. Rex had managed to stay silent throughout the entire ordeal; something everyone was thankful for.

But Beck didn't touch his food; he lost his appetite. His hands were shaking and everything got deathly silent. He blinked once, twice, three times and tried to calm himself down. It wasn't working. His heart rolled out an erratic beat he couldn't place and his mind was racing. Tomorrow, he told himself, tomorrow Jade would want to get back together again. He smiled at the thought; he knew he could always count on Jade.

"We got into a fight today. We'll get over it, we always do..."

/\

5.

It's been five days since he last spoke to Jade. He figured she just needed some time to cool off. Well, that's what he told Andre. He had shrugged and closed his locker. It was cool, it was chill. He was chill. He hadn't been checking his phone constantly for any missed calls or any incoming texts. He hadn't stayed up all night, hoping she'd kick open his RV door again. He wasn't buying an extra-coffee for her every morning, just like how he wasn't using his bag to save her a spot next to him at lunch. Most importantly, he certainly wasn't waiting under their oak tree every day after school. It was their place; where they first met, where he first told her he liked her. It was where they became Beck&Jade.

Men don't pine; especially Beck Oliver. Jade was just playing a new tactic; she was playing hard to get (as if it already wasn't so hard to get her in the first place). Keeping Jade seemed to be even harder than getting her; she was always slipping through his fingers. Whenever they were getting it right, she had an overload of jealousy and exploded.

With that being said, Beck certainly didn't write her notes. Guys like Robbie did that chiz, and they never got the girl in the end did they? It was safer to just sit (pace) and (fake a) smile because Jade West didn't throw away her belongings. He belonged to her; he was hers (wasn't he always?). She knew that (didn't she?). Plus she landed a role in another one of Ryder's plays and was really busy (she wasn't ignoring him). He wasn't jealous when he saw them sitting together at lunch, Jade was just toying with him. Jade was just trying to make him feel jealous (boy was it working). She knew which buttons to push; there was no way she was moving on because Beck was always on her mind (almost as much as she was on his). She was giving him a taste of his own medicine and he was tranquil enough to forget about it (but he never forgot her).

Cat has disappeared alongside Jade. She shot him nasty glares that shocked the entire table. He didn't know why she was angry at him (Jade was the one that was breaking his heart). Cat's job was to knock some sense into Jade and help them get back together again. Or was it Tori's job? He didn't know, but it was always the best friend that sets things into motion. It's in, like, every movie. He was waiting (im)patiently for her, his hands behind his back (holding flowers) and a small smile (a wide, impish grin). He'd run his hand through his hair because she loved his hair (not because he was nervous or anything). Beck Oliver didn't get nervous. Ever. He knew this was all going to work out. If he was being honest, Beck would admit that he never really had to fight for anything in his life before (maybe he was afraid of losing).

"I don't think I really know what to do with myself now that you're gone…"

/\

13.

His mother was shooting him a worried glance; one that he promptly ignored. He hadn't moved out of his RV or anything (Jade loved that RV) but he was spending more time with his parents. Well, actually he wasn't. He was spending more time in the vicinity of the Oliver house but he didn't speak. He spent all his time watching Full House or Fresh Prince reruns. His mother baked him sugar cookies to cheer him up. He had lied and said they were his favorite once, because he knew Jade loved them just as much as his father did. Beck hated sugar cookies; they were too dry and too hard. Yet, he couldn't stop eating them. They reminded him of her; of Jade. He didn't like "remembering" Jade because he never forgot her in the first place. Pretty soon they'd have new memories anyway, so what was the point?

"Where's that girl of yours?" His mother called out after taking the cookies out of the oven and placing them unto a cooling rack. "She's always here when I make these cookies." So his mother did notice after all.

Silence.

"She'll be back, mom."

"Did she run to the store? You know we're out of eggs and-"

"No, she didn't go to the store."

"Well where did she go?" His mother was behind the living room couch now, peering down at his head of hair. Jade had told him once that his mother looked like Jasmine. He had made a face and roared with laughter because Cat said he looked like Aladdin and…didn't Aladdin and Jasmine hook up? What he didn't say was that Aladdin didn't need Jasmine; he needed Jade. But only Robbie said sappy stuff like that, so she never heard those words.

"We broke up." He raised the volume on the television just in time to hear Stephanie's infamous "how rudeee", hoping his mother would get the hint and leave him alone. She sat next to him instead, long black hair falling her olive shoulders. The resemblance between them was uncanny.

"And how do you know Jade will come back?"

"Because she's Jade mom, she'll always come back." His mother frowned. Everyone did when he said that.

"Beck, I was never fond of Jade but she's not a dog. She's a teenage girl. I didn't raise you to treat girls like-" Her face was flushed, her nostrils flaring and she was growling her words. He held up his hand to stop her mid-sentence.

"Mom, please. We do this all the time. We break up and we get back together."

"Beck, are you sure this is what you want? To chase Jade down, only to break up and then get back together again?"

"It's a good thing I'm not chasing her then." He regretted it instantly. He shouldn't have said it but his mother wouldn't stop asking questions. She would never just leave him alone to deal with his problems, would she? He didn't mean to say those things about Jade but what would they think if he turned into a sap? There was Jade West (hardcore) and there was Beck Oliver (goo). The cool guy never got love sick anyway; name one movie where he does. The girl always came running back. What was he supposed to say anyway, "I know she'll come back because I'm marrying her one day," or "I'm afraid to show her how I really feel. Men don't get lovey-dovey" ?

"Maybe she's running so you'll chase her, Beck." His mother guided his head to her shoulder and played with his hair like she did when he was a child. He couldn't see the television anymore. Everything was blurred and he found himself sniffling. Damn allergies. Men don't cry.

"Guess what my mom made today? Her sugar cookies. I think she only made them because you like them. My mom's coming around…"

/\

18.

"What do you think she's playing at?" Beck was fuming. He had slammed his lunch unto the table in the Asphalt Café but hadn't touched it. He asked questions, but never waited for an answer. Jade made Ryder's stupid play; it was nothing without her. He was there in the back (because guys like Robbie and Sinjin were sitting in the front seats). It was (certainly not) a casual affair. He was waiting for her to come over, to squeal that he was here; alone. She didn't have to be jealous anymore (and neither would he). Instead, she walked right past him, as if he was some kind of wallflower. She had even stopped to insult Sinjin. He would've taken the insult too if she had offered it, but she didn't. So he had stayed inside the Black Box Theater until they turned off the lights and the janitor wanted to lock the school up.

"Who does she think she is?"

"Listen Beck-"

"Why is she still having lunch with Ryder? His stupid play is over!"

"Holy cripes, Beck!" Robbie was the one who had managed to shut him up, "If you want Jade back, fight for her!"

"Who said I wanted Jade back?"

"We can all see it, man." Andre admitted.

"Oh." Andre saw the flicker of pain in his best friend's eyes.

"You know Beck," Tori slammed her fork down and narrowed her eyes; it was a look she usually saved for Trina or Jade when she tried to ruin her Prome, "I'm sick of hearing you complain about Jade. If you want her back, then go get her back! This isn't fair to you or her. I know you still love her and I'm pretty sure she still loves you too." She grabbed her bag and Robbie (and Rex) followed to suit. "I thought you were the cool one Beck."

"Guys like me don't fight for girls." He had mumbled, but they had heard. He was slipping up.

"What?" Tori snapped. Why the hell was she so irritable?

"I can't just go around parading my feelings-"

"That's what this is about?" Andre was shooting Beck one of those weird looks again. If Beck had cared to look properly, he would've noticed the weird looks Andre kept giving him were disapproving ones. He would have noticed Tori's eye rolls earlier; he would have heard Rex's snarky comments but he didn't. He was too busy staring the table on the other end of the Café where a small redhead was waving her arms around animatedly while a brunette shook her head.

"You're not going after Jade because you're afraid of what other people will think?" Tori seemed lost in thought; dazed maybe but there was no serene look upon her face. Her features were twisted; contorted; shooting him a disgusted look.

"No." Yes.

"The reason Jade is so popular, Beck, is because she doesn't care what anyone thinks. I didn't think you were so…so shallow." He wasn't shallow; he just cared about his appearance. Would people still think he was chill without his hair? Why else would he let it grow out like that? (Not because Jade threatened to breakup with him if he ever cut it; he didn't know if she was kidding or not). "Don't fight for her; she deserves better." Tori Vega actually sneered at him across the table; something that he thought was very unbecoming of a young lady. With a flip of her shiny hair, Tori was gone. Robbie (and his stupid puppet) were gone seconds and so Jade's table found itself two additional guests.

"Beck?"

"Yeah, Andre?"

"You don't fool me."

"What?"

"Fight for her, man."

"I'm just trying to be as strong as you are, you know. You don't seem to care that we're over, so I won't either..."

/\

23.

Just because Beck didn't like to show his emotions too often didn't mean he was cold. He just didn't like feeling too much. Who the hell gave Jade permission to make him feel like this? Last time he checked, he was in control of his own damn emotions. That was until he saw another figure sitting at the bottom of his oak tree. Who did she think she was anyway? First she stole his tree, then his heart (it was really the other way around). Beck went to the park everyday; behind it was a forest. Well, not really a forest, more like an abundance of shrubs and park benches strewn around carelessly. There was only one full grown tree though; the middle was hollowed out and the young Beck smiled wickedly, thinking of all the things he could hide in it. It wasn't gigantic or anything, but to a twelve year old boy, it was pretty big.

He had waited until she left but by that time it was already dark out and he had to go back home. The next day, little Beck had brought a pen and a book which he firmly wrote "This tree belongs to Beck Oliver only; no trespassing" and stuck it inside the hollow. He didn't expect a to find the note, a little worn the next day, with the words "Beck Oliver" scratched out and replaced with "Jade West". That was how it started; with notes. Notes he never threw away. Jade would call him a pansy if she knew, so he kept it hidden inside the Oliver house in his old bedroom, under one of the loose old floorboards.

Five years later, he found himself there out of habit. After school they would always hang out by their tree if they weren't roped into any plans. Today, he was later than usual but he still had his pen and his paper. It was dark out but he was a big boy now; he could handle himself. Behind the hedges and the shrubs, no one would be scrutinizing his every move. He wouldn't have to try so hard to par up with Jade's fervor. He didn't know what it was about her that attracted people, but everyone else were moths drawn to a lamp; the lamp being Jade. They tried to get as close to her as they could. It wasn't her fault. Okay, so there wasn't a really good reason for saying the things he did, but he didn't think Jade cared. She never cared; that was the part of her that he tried his best to adopt; her aloofness.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop caring about what other people thought; about what Jade thought. It wasn't worth it anymore. She was supposed to come running back to him. It had been twenty-three long days. He sat under the tree until his back hurt and wrote. He about everything and anything; her smile, her hair, her laugh, her clothes, her tears, her love. He would never give them to her, of course but he folded them up and put them inside the oak tree's hollow everyday. Today would be his twenty-third one. He wasn't an idiot; he knew Jade wouldn't come back here. Not after she was snuggling with Ryder.

Denial.

Don't you wish you weren't in denial, Beck?

Jade's not coming back this time.

His throat tightened and his heart raced. His eyes stung and he stumbled over a few roots; leaves crunching under his combat boots. He used his hands to push away some over-grown hedges and froze. She was there; stealing his tree again (because she already had his heart).

Their tree; it was their tree. There was still a chance. Jade was leaning against the trunk of Ol' Oak like she did when he first laid eyes on her. She was crying; like she did the first time they met. Her body racking with silent sobs as she buried her face in her hands; knees pulled up against her chest. Twenty-two little notes surrounded her body, forming a halo around her slumping figure.

Suddenly, they were kids again and he was peering over from the bushes. This time, he was going to act without thinking, without over-analyzing; without pretending. If he wanted her back, he was going to have to show her Beckett Oliver. He wasn't going to hide anymore.

He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak. The girl sprang into action and ran. She was running now, was she? It didn't take him long to catch up to her. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back against his body; they collided. He grunted as she balled her fists and slammed them against his chest. He linked his arms behind her back and trapped her there. He wasn't letting go. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

A few feet away, there was one last note; this one unopened.

"Dear Jade, you can run to Alaska or Mexico if you want; maybe Paris or Australia. But you'll never be out of my sight; I'll always be trailing behind you.

I've got a lot of catching up to do, don't I?"

(.x.)

A/N I don't like this. I rushed it down for the SSBW. It's confusing and Beck's a bitch, isn't he? This wasn't how I was going to end it. Oh well, at least I finished it in time. I rushed it down earlier so please excuse any typos/errors.