Before you ask, yes, this is a random one-shot. I don't know where I got the idea; it was one of those lying-in-bed-thinking kinds of ideas. Maybe I was thinking of that old Recess movie, where he runs into the door and his parents ask him if he'd done that again, I don't remember.
But anyways, Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, Robin, Alfred, or their alter egos. And I stole the 'running into a glass door' idea from Recess. Great… now Batman's going to come after me for stealing.
The Dumb Bird and a Rabid Bat
As Bruce got home from a weary day at work, he was glad to see a cup of coffee and a bagel placed in front of him by his butler, Alfred. He leaned back and closed his eyes, impatiently waiting until it would be dark enough to go out to his other "job".
Soon, a voice in the distance could be heard getting steadily louder and louder as it got closer. There was only one nine year-old it could belong to.
"Alfred Alfred Alfred Alfred Alfred Alfred Alfred Alfred ALFRED ALFRED!"
The men didn't move, waiting for the boy to come in explaining in high speed about his latest exploration.
THWANG! Thump. "Owww…"
Bruce and Alfred stood up quickly and raced to the back door. Seeing Dick sprawled on the ground, spread-eagle, Bruce opened the sliding glass door and ran to his side to help him up.
"Oh Bruce, you're home," the boy said dully, holding his head as his guardian pulled him up by the arm.
"Did you just…run into the glass door?" He asked with a hint of amusement.
"Uh…looks like it." He looked up at the Bruce's smiling face. "Are you laughing at me?"
"What? No." He straightened his expression. "I just…it's ironic that's all."
"Ironic, how?" Dick now gave Bruce an accusing stare.
"Well, you know…robins fly into windows all the time and…"
"Oh, ha-ha, Bruce, yes, you're very funny. We all get that I'm just a dumb little bird who can't tell the difference between glass and an open door. Forgive me if I don't show my ecstatic laughing." He rolled his eyes and walked into the house.
"That's not what I meant."
"I'm sure. Well at least I don't look like a rabid bat, huh Bruce? Really, where'd you learn to use a napkin?" He walked inside, hunched over.
Bruce turned, confused, to Alfred who pointed to his face and mumbled, "Cream cheese from the bagel, sir. Just there." Bruce started swiping at his mouth as he followed his ward inside, Alfred behind him.