This story is dedicated to SkyeElf, because this amazing author wrote a fantastic story for me (Lily Evans is dead); who asked me to write any type of story about Severus Snape and Lily Evans Potter. I want to apologize for taking so long to publish this in return. I hope you all enjoy it, and I posted my extra notes at the very end of this story if there was anything you didn't understand.

Also, this was inspired after listening to the song For Good from the musical Wicked. I recommend listening to the song, whether the version is of Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth singing or something else. But also, I would like to say that Nick Pitera and Sam Tsui's cover of the song is excellent as well.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, sadly.

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Snape

-Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore

1979

Severus Snape sighed and shut his eyes. Just one second. That's all he needed. Just seeing and confirming it would made all the difference. She's happy now.

Breathe. Severus inhaled and exhaled a few times; taking in the dusty London air that became polluted after the ridiculous inventions the muggles had created released their chemicals. Things are different now; you can't go back, Severus.

He stayed there, sitting in the muggle diner, wearing a hoodie he had bought from a gift shop down the street, keeping the hood tucked tightly over his head. It was odd, Severus reflected, that he had only bought it because showing his face in the world today would be dangerous. He was one of the Dark Lord's followers; he should be safe under the dark wizard's protection. Yet, if he met up with a familiar face from his days at Hogwarts, they might decide they would like a fight.

What was even more humorous, although not to Severus, was when he went to buy the sweatshirt at the store with the money that he had converted from galleons to muggle- form, the young man at the counter had stared at him and laughed. 'What was this about?' Severus asked himself.

"Do you want some shampoo, dude?" the cashier snickered. It is true, their kind does have filth. How dare he? Never mind that.

"I'd like to purchase this piece of clothing," Severus gritted his teeth, "sir." he continued with emphasis on the final word, in an attempt to control his temper. He was never good at controlling his temper, and was only able to do that when she was around. Except for one time, may he never forget that one time he became angry; for it cost Severus his one true friend. And by considering that, he kept himself from even raising his wand in aggravation at the harebrained muggle boy.

So now here he was, sitting and drinking this… what was it the muggles called it? Oh yes, cappuccino. And watching her.

No, he was not stalking her, not at all. He just wanted to… check on her. If he saw her face-to-face, her husband would have him buried in his grave before tomorrow morning. And if it was just her alone, the results would certainly be unexpected. .

Nevertheless, her party would be, concerned, if they met face-to-face. No, rather than face an ugly reunion, he'd rather sit across the street in the diner of IHop. He was not a Gryffindor, after all, so he had every right to be cowardly.

He watched her pat her stomach; in four months she was due. She was laughing, he could see that through the glass windows easily, even without the visum charm. She had that light in her eyes he knew so well.

She was resting comfortably against her husband's arm. The man was disgusting and utter disgrace to pure bloods. Snape knew he should be one to talk, as he himself was only a half-blood. But no one had to know, and that's all that mattered. Those who did know his parentage weren't in his life anymore; they were either dead or just didn't care about old Snivellus.

The man sitting across from her and her beau was shaking his headlike a dog's tail. How ironic, Severus thought. The mutt-like man wiped his shaggy hair out of his eyes and proceeded on with the story he was previously telling.

Lily jumped up suddenly and Severus's heart leaped. She rocked on her feet. Back and forth. Back and forth. Potter looked worried and even his mate didn't have the usual smirk on his face. Was she alright? He didn't care if he ran across the street like an idiot or if he had to face the people she was sitting with, he just had to know.

Fortunately, before any of that had happened, however, her face calmed and Lily patted her belly in comfort. Whether it was to comfort the baby, or to reassure herself, Severus did not know. If he was there, instead of Potter, he would have thought that a baby was a mistake if it threatened his previous wife's life. Yet, he wasn't. Instead Severus had to settle for glaring at the window through which he was staring, while the muggles nearby rolled their eyes at him, hoping the insane man would leave soon.

Black laughed and probably told a joke, bringing a smile to Lily's lips. But Potter still looked concerned, and looking up at her, he asked her something. Probably, 'Are you sure you're ok?'

Course she's not! Why don't you go make yourself useful, Potter? Severus soon found himself in different fantasies where it was he who aided Lily Evans. In his mind, if he acted differently and didn't call Lily a mudblood, she would be in his presence as Lily Snape and be teasing him about ordering such a muggle drink. Why, if she was in his presence, they wouldn't even be in the muggle diner. But instead, he was here watching her from his booth sipping on his coffee-based drink. He watched Potter pull out his wand, and Lily swatting his hand away in an attempt to hide it before a muggle would see it.

If it was him, he would have done some magic a whole lot quicker, and ensure her safety faster than Quidditch-star-Potter.

Yet, as he watched Lily, Severus realized something crucial. She is happy with the life she is living. She isn't in regret, rather, she is safe and content. Unlike me. I have chased dreams all my life, and now look at me. I am high in my standing and well- praised. With this war, she should be constantly aware of her surroundings, yet here she is, having breakfast with her friends in a muggle restaurant. While I am alone.

He only came because he had heard that she had lived somewhere nearby. But watching her made all the difference. And he knew that he could never change, nor give Lily what she needed.

August 18, 1981

"Harry, stop poking the cat!" Lily sighed. It was a hot and sticky sort of day. It made it even more unbearable that she was stuck at home, rather than taking the boys out to the park for a picnic. A picnic sounded like a rather marvelous idea, except for the fact that her little family had already had a few in their small patch of a yard during the past week.

She needed change. Yes, a refreshing glass of pure, lovely, fantastic change would be marvelous. But the fact that she was to stay in the very house that was supposed to protect not only her, but also James and Harry was a boundary Lily dared not to cross.

"Lily, Snickers is clawing the window. I think you've got mail." Ever since Lily had introduced the Marauders to the muggle candy bar, James had adored the name right from the start. In fact, he thought it was so bloody fantastic that he had decided to name the owl she got years ago Snickers, much to Lily's 'delight.'

"James, watch Harry, will you?" She glanced at the one-year-old, who was convinced that roughly grabbing the family's kitty's fur was the way to go.

"Naaa, he's fine."

"James…"

"Kidding! Relax, will you?"

Lilly suppressed the urge to roll her eyes and continued over to the window, where the owl was, indeed, furiously looking for a way into the building. "You want in, don't you?" Lily asked the bird as she flew in and landed on a nearby table.

There was, indeed, a letter in its mouth. Somebody must have tracked her down to send this instead of using his or her own owl. But who? Lilly pondered it for a second while identifying the handwriting on the front.

Lily

There was a familiar curve in the L, followed by the slanted letters. She recognized it from somewhere. Professor Dumbledore, perhaps? Definitely not Sirius, only James and a few others can read his handwriting.

Yet, opening the inside of the envelope, Lily gasped while mentally cursing herself for not realizing who it was truly from.

Dear Lily,

I write to you in the form of an apology. Yet I know that you will eventually tear this piece of parchment up and, knowing you and how you will react, will either throw it into in the fire or use the nastiest curse on it; treating the letter as you would like to treat me because of what I have done. Yes, I understand.

You must hate my guts. I have done the worst. Not only have I committed the most heinous of crimes by gaining the Dark Lord's trust and became one of his followers; I have betrayed you in a thousand possible ways and destroyed your trust.

So go ahead and tear this up. Move on with your life and forget me. I'll try not to nag you further. I urge you to live your life to the fullest, and to not do what I have done.

There are literally no words in this vast language of ours, nor in any other parts of the world, that may express how sincerely sorry I am. I am speechless, and I can only hope that you would forgive me.

I like to state one last thing, however. Even if someone were to read this letter before you, I would take the risk and state that the Dark Lord's reign shall end soon. You may not know how I know, but I believe in your abilities Lily, and the fact that you and your family's safety is in good hands.

-Severus

Sev, oh, Sev, Lily thought despondently. She thought about him from time to time.

She thought about their childhood; hiding away under the willow, talking about the magic they would one day like to do, and of course, Petunia. Sev would want to hex her, and turn her hair into seaweed while Lily would stifle her giggle and chastise Severus for even saying that about her sister.

She thought about going to Hogwarts together, as eleven- year-olds. Together, they were both eager to share what they have learned with each other, looking out for one another, while silently making fun of Potter and his little gang.

Lily remembers when they when they were in their fourth year. One breakfast she was sitting next to Mary, chatting about the latest in Witch Weekly.

"Mary, just because the man is part veela, does not mean that he is even related to Aphrodite! Plus, you said yourself that you don't believe in Greek mythology!"

"But it says right here that the very founder of this magazine wrote this article after interviewing Winston Cartwright!"

"You do realize that just because Winston is Oliver Cartwright's nephew, does not mean it is true!"

"But Oliver was the painter who made Tobias Misslethorpe's portrait, so maybe it is!"

Lily rolled her eyes and glanced across the room. Over at the Slytherin table, she saw Severus nodding along to whatever story Avery had been telling. He looked up for a brief second and his eyes met hers. From the look he gave her, Lily could tell that it was not the best conversation he ever had, and he rather be sitting and talking to her. She shook her head, as if to say 'we'll talk later.'. He smiled.

"Who you staring at, Evans?"

Her thoughts were interrupted when a tall, skinny teenage boy with messy black hair plunked himself down next to her, inviting himself to the bowl full of apples sitting on the table in front of her. His casual smirk irritated her even more.

"None of your business, Potter." Lily answered coldly.

"It may be my business if a certain someone is staring out into a crowd of couples feeling lonely. Especially when there is a guy sitting right next to her who is also conveniently single."

"Not interested." She responded icily.

Potter looked at her, trying to figure out where her line of sight was a few moments before. "A Slytherin, eh? Well, while we know that you can do much better than that, I would like to see you soon, Evans. Perhaps at tonight's Quidditch match?" He hopped up and left before Lily could flat out refuse him.

Later on, Lily and Snape did meet up. They had already agreed that Quidditch was the most ridiculous thing on Earth; and so while the weather was still nice, they walked around the castle together. Yet, at first what seemed like a friendly conversation between two childhood friends soon turned into an argument about Snape's so called 'friends' and their dark magic. But the funny thing is, once she insulted Potter, calling him an 'arrogant toerag,' and she could have sworn she saw Severus skipping. She had thought about it a couple of nights later and laughed to herself..

Lily looked over at her family with a faint smile on her lips. She was glad with what she had in life. Yet, even as she watched James pulling his wand away from Harry's fingers, she couldn't help herself going further down memory lane. Maybe it was out of nostalgia.

She remembered as well that one day she caught herself staring at James Potter a second too long while studying for the O.W.L.S. out by the lake with Severus. She remembered hearing him sigh and retort, "You know Lily, I am happy to study by myself if you're too distracted." The day later, after exams, was a fateful day indeed. Potter had deemed it funny to use Levicorpus on Severus. In the process of her attempting to stop this cruel joke of humiliation, one of Lily's best friends betrayed her and called her a mudblood.

Ever since then, Lily ignored him. Severus had tried to come to Gryffindor Tower that night to beg for mercy and forgiveness, but it was too late.

But now? Why now? What is it that caused him to write her a letter? And what did the last line mean? 'Dark Lord's reign shall end soon.' Was he actually…. No, that wasn't possible. Even a child, he was fascinated with the dark arts. But did that mean Sev had given up his place as a Death Eater? The theory sounded crazy, and yet… getting the letter was a maddening experience too.

But Lily would like to talk to him though. Perhaps let bygones be bygones. She wanted to move on, and not have regrets anymore.

And besides… Lily grinned as she looked up from the parchment in her hands as she watched her child crawl his way across the carpet towards her with a smile that included a tooth or two. Lily doubted that Severus could hate Harry.

September 23, 1981

James had learned a few things over the years.

1). Don't even think about using a muggle object called a bowling ball instead of a Quaffle. His groin hurts just thinking about it.

2). When experimenting with the uses of the muggle silly string and cheese whiz, it's best not to do it directly before you meet your girlfriend's parents.

3). When said girlfriend becomes your wife, trying to do research and learn about muggle politics and repeating the facts later to the in-laws does not have the greatest of results either.

4). Making puns about flowers will NOT make your sister-in-law like you.

5). Speeding on a muggle invention called a motorcycle is pretty kick-ass.

6). Especially when you are escaping the muggle police with your best friend.

7). Just don't let your wife find out!

8). But swear to repeat the tale to your son when he is old enough to understand how to carry on a new era of the Marauders.

9). And finally, don't assume the worst. Even if it looks pretty bad, just try to understand what is truly happening first before you jump to conclusions.

Taking careful steps around the mess, James knew it did not look good. He hugged Harry to his chest as he carefully hopped side to side. The door was open, he knew. It was late September, and it was already too cold for his liking. What had happened to summer, where did it go? Of course, the draft in the house was not currently a problem for James at the moment. And he was going to be in BIG trouble if he didn't find his wand.

James Augustine Potter broke Lily's flower vase that she had received from her sister. He was screwed. Better yet, even if it wasn't the greatest artifact in the house, it still had expandaGROW solution in it to make flowers grow faster. And if he had learned anything from Herbology or from looking at advertisements from the magazines that Lily read, this type of solution could be very acidic and burn or destroy anything it touched; including Lily's coveted collection of Witch Weekly that had over eight years' worth of articles about pedicures to dragon-riding lessons in Norway. Yep, this wasn't going to be a good day for him, that's for sure.

Harry had deemed the moment the appropriate time to start crawling over to the sharp pottery shards covered in the flower concoction. "Not right now, sir. We must first clean this mess first." James then scooped him up and fixed the little strap on his toddler overalls. Shit. But where is my wand? This was fantastic, James thought. He can't even repair the thing without the one thing he didn't part with since he was eleven years of age. And Lily wouldn't be too thrilled when she saw the safety hazard lying right of the middle of their study.

He might as well grab something else to help him clean until he could find the misplaced magic wand. Shuffling his way to the closet, after placing Harry in the downstairs playpen with a blanket and few of his stuffed animals, he grabbed a broom (not his actual broom! Lily had insisted on having a few muggle items in their house after having grown up that way. There were also some sprays filled with chemicals that he had never heard about that were supposedly meant for cleaning the bathroom, but after hearing Lily lecturing him about them for about an hour or so, James didn't have any clue what they were for. Anyway, the broom he had grabbed was non-magical and cheaply bought from a muggle store.) That was when he had heard voices coming from the upstairs landing.

"Are you sure? What about…?"

A male's soft, yet certainly commanding voice chuckled. "Lily, you need to understand that I have made my choice."

"But if he finds out? You'll be severely punished."

"It'll be worth it."

James held back a growl. What the hell was going on? Taking careful and quiet steps, he crept beneath the stairs, where he had a clear view of the landing, a place where he could hide perfectly and conceal himself perfectly, even without his Invisibility Cloak.

"I don't know when I'll see you again Lily. He is getting angrier by the day, you can tell that he is getting restless."

"I know that you are brave, look at you! You made it here despite the risks; you could practically be a Gryffindor. I am so proud of you."

James breath hitched as he watched his wife kiss the greasy-haired Snivellus on the cheek. Ok, that's it. I don't care if he's got a wand and I don't. I'm going to give that sucker a piece of my mind for even behaving this way toward my wife.

Yet, before James could try to come flying up the stairs and tackle his former classmate, he heard Lily say, "A double-agent? How many know?" James froze. What?

"Just you and Dumbledore. Please Lily," there was something in his voice that sounded unfamiliar. Almost like Snape was… fearful. This plea was meant to overcome the rift over the years, to accept mercy. "Don't tell anyone. Especially, your husband, Potter."

Lilly crossed her arms. "Still haven't gotten over that schoolboy bitterness yet, have you?"

"I doubt a time when either of us ever will."

Lily had a knowing glint in her eyes. "But maybe one day that will change."

Snape raised an eyebrow; a fact that James is proud to say he observed even with his thick glasses. "Oh? I knew that you were quite skilled, but I had no idea this included time travel, Lily. Do tell how you have come by this information."

Lily held back a chuckle. "I may not be a spy like a certain someone here," Oh no! James thought: she knows that I have been listening! "But sometimes I get the feeling that strange things may happen."

"As I have previously said, I am not sure what I am fighting for anymore. But one thing is for sure," Snape gained a soft look in his eyes; something that even though Lily didn't see it, James had to try his best not to whack it off his old nemesis's face. "Fate did not intend for us to become friends Lily, nor did it intend for us to meet again." Okay, so this isn't as bad as I originally thought, but wasn't Lily angry at him for what he called her?

"That's because we defy fate, Sev, we're the weird ones. And who knows? Maybe one day while defying the very wizard, who you looked up to as a teenager, in the future, you could be a teacher!"

It was difficult for James to stifle his snort; the look on Snivellus's face and the very notion that he would be hired and be willing to teach as a professor at Hogwarts was perfectly ridiculous. Yet, he managed to hide his reaction well as he watched his old rival blink several times, gulp, struggle to speak, while his paled even more (something that astonished James further, who knew that Snape could even be more pale?). Finally, as Snape looked back at Lily's face, to which she unsuccessfully attempted to hide her smirk, he responded with, "That would be a… interesting… concept, now wouldn't it?"

Lily gave up on covering up her amusement and laughed. "Oh come on! You don't despise Harry! You can't possibly hate children!"

Snape dryly responded, "I haven't seen your child long enough to know his characteristics. But with Potter as a father, I can assure you that he isn't my favorite person in the world."

Lily suddenly became defensive. "James isn't a bad guy! He is the sweetest, funniest, most lovable man that I have ever met."

"What you are saying is that he hasn't called you a mudblood."

Snape's response was quiet, yet bold. Lily's face fell blank and James wasn't sure if he should interrupt this or just let his wife take care of the situation. His body felt frozen in place, just silently watching and observing.

"I told you that I have forgiven you, right? You need to know that you are one of my best friends."

"I know."

Lily nodded and continued. "But I have done what your letter had suggested, I moved on with life. As soon as this war is over, I am going to try my hardest to raise a family with James, the love of my life."

The man standing across from Lily nodded and glanced at his shoes. "Good."

"Good?"

"Yes, good." Snape looked up apprehensively at Lily and smiled. Then it looked like an idea had struck him. "And where is this 'love of your life' of yours?"

Lily smiled. "Probably teaching Harry how to fly. He's convinced that our toddler should be on Puddlemore United by the time he's seven."

Severus Snape rolled his eyes. It occurred to James that this may be an ideal time to head back to Harry, clean the mess, and pretend that they were good boys all along while calculating if he should either buy an identical vase or resume searching for his wand.

But before he could slip away entirely, James heard Snape say, "I hope you realize that your front door is open."

"Woops… James won't notice, hopefully." She glanced at the door, thinking. "If we weren't in hiding, I would like to dress Harry up as a pumpkin."

"I suppose that Potter would want him to be a mini-version of himself and dress as a Quidditch star."

"Who knows? But… Sev, you never did tell me how you found us. Especially with the charm placed on the house."

Snape shrugged. "I have my ways." He turned and started to leave. But before that, he said, "Goodbye Lily. I'll see you again one day."

She nodded. "When this war is over, hopefully." She grinned. "See you later, Sev."

When Lily did return downstairs, she found James with his wand in his hand (which was in his back-pocket all along) trying to quickly clean the mess. She sighed. "I'll let Petunia know that magic can't fix everything." She winked as she grabbed the trashcan.

There are some other things James learned over the years.

10). Some things change. The unexpected can happen. (But your sister-in-law's sense of style is the one exception.)

1981

Core of dragon heartstring with wood of black walnut, 9 ¾ inches, unyielding.

It sat on the desk.

It had no usage at all. Its owner was depressed. So the wand sat rigid upon the dusty desk in the small home of Spinner's End.

It had quite a different existence, compared with other magical objects of its time. For instance, only a few weeks after it was bought and united with its true owner, the young boy had commanded it to make his father become silent temporarily while inventing an entirely new jinx called Langlock. Yet, the summer later after its owner had been properly taught at the magical school as an eleven year old; its owner invented healed an injured deer he had found in the woods while walking with a green- eyed redhead. How bizarre.

The years went like that. The wand had experienced defensive spells, dark arts, and pushing the limits with new charms and curses. It had misfired once or twice; just look at George Weasley for evidence. It fixed the damaged. Draco Malfoy barely had any trace of Sectumsempra, except for a minor scar. Its master had even taken some pity when dueling. (To be fairly honest, Lockhart was terrible at self-defense whether he had his memory or not.) Plus, it enabled the power to read minds and prevent a dark wizard from reading the wand's master's mind as well.

So why exactly is the black walnut wand's owner so sorrowful?

The day was November 1, 1981. The day before had ended in tragedy.

That's why.

Life goes on. Later on, shortly after mourning, the very wand's owner had apparated with it and met up with Albus Dumbledore. The very conversation that then took place may have changed the course of history. Yet, at the time, the only thing that seemed to take place was appointing the wizard with a dragon heartstring core wand as a teacher and the promise of a small boy's protection.

It continued like that. A decade passed while the wand's owner peered over young wizards' and witches' shoulders, scoffing at the potion he or she had created, quickly becoming one of the most unpleasant of professors.

One year it had changed. An obstacle course was to be prepared to protect something valuable. Of course, soon it was conquered by a small group of eleven-year-olds. Three to be exact. And to think that the wand's owner was concerned that someone completely different and far more learned in magic would steal the object!

Time was like that. Full of ironies and coincidences. If years prior one person had an opinion about another, it was completely altered later.

One horrific moment including ending the headmaster's life, even if it was already planned. Sure, the headmaster knew he was going to die soon, as the blackened hand had proved, but its owner was still despised by the 'good' while admired by the 'bad.'

Yet, what is the difference between good and bad? Can it be love?

Sounds ridiculous.

But it perfectly explains Severus Snape's allegiance and loyalty. He did, after all, die a hero.

On May 2, 1998, the unyielding, 9 ¾ inch, black walnut wand with the dragon heartstring core laid on the blood- stained floor while its owner's memories filled a glass vial.

"You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon..."

-Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

THE END

First of all, here is a bonus question for you. There was a date mentioned in this story (hint: it was in bold text!) that had a connection to a different book. (Another hint: it has a connection to something else I wrote) Can you solve this little puzzle of mine? :)

Okay, so there were probably parts you didn't understand and may have not made sense. Sorry about that, it was a month ago when I first wrote this, and even though I did my best in editing after having a few members of my family read it, there were probably parts that sounded sticky. (Question: did that just make sense? To 'sound sticky'... hmmm... I'll think about it later)

*First off, this story was written in different points of view. (hopefully you noticed... then again, it may have been confusing... who knows?) The last part was in Snape's wand POV because... well, I wanted to write about Snape's life until the end in a POV that wasn't Harry's, but I didn't want to be too biased because of a certain character's personality, so I decided to experiment. What do you think?

*Also, I wasn't sure if I got all my information right. So my question is this: are there any IHops in London or that relative area? I just thought it would be funny that Snape would sit in a diner and watch Lily. Also, the part about Snape sending Lily a letter and later visiting her while James eavesdrops; I had read somewhere (don't quote me on this) that J.K Rowling said that before Lilly died, she had forgiven her friend. I don't know, I just liked the idea and decided to roll with it... but what do you think?

*I was wondering though... was Snape's letter too sappy? Turns out, it's hard to write an apology letter... and to imagine what Severus would say is kind of interesting. It's funny to admit though, but writing in his POV was actually kind of fun! Even though it was challenging, trying to write in his thoughts was enjoyable. I liked it, a lot. (also, during the part when he and Lily discussed being a double agent, I just thought that perhaps it may be interesting, even though I don't think that was correct or in the books)

*Of course, telling a part of the tale in James's POV was awesome as well! I find him a amusing character, and hopefully I did him justice. But remember when I mentioned flying a motorcycle? If you don't remember (or maybe you do remember, you just need to be reminded), Hagird flew that motorcycle when he brought Harry to his aunt and uncle's, and it was Sirius's. There is also this short story J.K Rowling wrote about how once James and Sirius rode it and narrowly escaped the muggle police. (if you want to learn more about it, or you want to read it, I suggest looking up 'Harry Potter Prequel')

Anyways, that's it! I highly apologize if I was rambling or if my notes were rather lengthy. Again, I hope you enjoyed reading this, and I hope you all have a great day!

Cheers!

-OSG loves to read